OWEN
"You look happy." Megan points while we have breakfast, giving me a half-smile. I just smile widely and nod, eating my breakfast. "So… what did Teddy and you talk about last night? I could still hear you at 4 in the morning." She asks me curiously.
"I love you sister, but that is none of your business." I answer with a cheerful voice.
"Come on, Owen! I didn't spend months suffering and enjoying your love story, for now not knowing the end!" She complains.
Last night, Teddy and I spent hours talking. We didn't focus so much on the past, on that past that I don't remember and that I'm dying to do so. Teddy insisted that I stop feeling overwhelmed by it, that I would remember in due time, that we better focus on the present. In what we are, what we feel.
We both apologized for possibly causing us pain. She talked to me more deeply about her feelings, things she hadn't told Megan or my Mother, she told me about them. How hard the pregnancy has been, especially emotionally. How hard it was to lose me and not have me there to live that experience with her. How she suffered when she saw me with Beth, but, above all, emphasizing how much she loves me and how much she loves our daughter.
I also poured my heart into her. Although I don't remember anything about the time I was kidnapped either, I do remember how I felt. I told her about horror and sadness. I told her about how I felt when they found me and how I felt when she received me with that huge smile and that, although at that moment I didn't know who she was, just seeing her face let me know that I was already safe, that nothing bad was going to happen now.
I told her about my reasons for turning to Beth and how much I regret having hurt her. And I couldn't stop telling her how much my heart already loves her and how excited I am to keep knowing her and hopefully remember her. I told her that she and our daughter are the most important thing in my life now.
After that long talk she started to look really tired, so I decided to leave the talk for later, we would have all the time in the world. She needed to rest. And although I was dying to sleep with her and hold her in my arms all night, it was still too soon. So I went to my room. When I woke up I felt like new, and I couldn't wait to see her.
I leave Megan talking alone and leave the kitchen laughing. Teddy hasn't woken up yet and I can't wait to talk to her.
I go upstairs and open the door of her room slowly after knocking and not getting an answer. She is still peacefully asleep. Her face looks soft and serene. I can almost swear it's the first night in a long time that she sleeps that peacefully.
I sit gently on the bed and kiss her warm forehead. "Wake up." I whisper with my lips against the soft skin of her face. She groans and stirs softly. I place soft kisses on her temple, her cheek, her nose, her chin and her lips. "Come on, wake up."
She smiles at me, but she doesn't open her eyes, she lets herself be carried away by my kisses and rests on her back, giving me access to her neck. I want to go further down, but it's definitely too soon for that. I lie next to her and bring her to me, hugging her tightly, wanting all of her in my arms.
"Five more minutes." She groans and snuggles closer to my body.
"I can't wait five more minutes."
"Well, you will have to. Your daughter was kicking against my ribs all night long, I couldn't sleep at all." I chuckle and place my hand on top of her baby belly, giving it soft pats.
"I want us to do something special. Something memorable!"
"Something memorable? Like what?" Teddy asks me confused.
"I don't know… go out, go on a trip, you and me. Spend time alone before the baby comes." Teddy groans, freeing herself from my arms, laying on her back again, stroking her bump. Thoughtful. Very thoughtful. "Not a good idea?"
"It's not that." She sighs heavily and looks down at her belly and then at me. "I would like to, I really would like to, but… you have no idea how tired I am. I can't do much without feeling that my heart is going to jump out of my chest. I feel like my back and hip pain has become chronic because it is always there, no matter what I do to relieve it, and, and, and..." Her voice breaks with every word. "I'm so scared, Owen."
"Hey, come here." I hug her again, trying to ease her fears. "You shouldn't be afraid anymore, I'm here."
"I know, I know, and it's not that, it's… I'm scared when the day comes. I don't know what to expect, I don't know what I should do or if I will do it well. I'm afraid of not doing it well and put our daughter in danger."
I let her vent for a few minutes. Shushing and kissing her head sweetly. "It's normal for you to be afraid, I am too. But when the day comes you know I'll be there, nothing and nobody will separate me from your side. And Addison is the best, she will guide you and tell you how to do it."
"And what about next? I've never taken care of a baby!" She whimpers in an almost childlike voice.
"We will figure it out. It will be difficult, but together we will make it easier. We will take care and love our daughter and she will grow up knowing how much we love her and how much we love each other."
She hugs me tightly. "Thank you for being here."
"There is no other place where I'd rather be."
"But we can still do nice things together. You already sacrificed a lot so I am willing to make an effort. We can go wherever you want, you say the place!"
"None of that." I argue. "Yes, I want to do millions of things with you, but for now you must rest, I don't want you to worry or overstrain. I want you to be calm, to enjoy the rest of this pregnancy in peace and with love. Ok?" She nods and wipes a tear with the top of her hand. "You are so beautiful."
"But I could take a walk along the pier. With some stops, but I can."
"I'd love to walk along the pier, while holding your hand."
She chuckles. "Or we can do baby shopping. I have some things, but I still need a lot to set up her nursery."
"And... where will her nursery be?" I ask tentatively. Until a few hours ago she was convinced to find her own place, and while we can't live here with my mother forever, I'm still afraid she wants more time to figure things out. I want to be with her, live with her.
She props up on her elbow and looks me in the eye. "Where do you want it to be?"
"Where do you want it to be? I want it wherever she and you are." I brush her belly with the top of my fingers.
"I... I think ... I think we... should look for our own place?"
"Is that what you want?"
She nods with a smile and teary eyes. "I will miss Megan and your mom like crazy, but... I think it's for the best."
When we informed Megan and my mother of our decision they were very sad, but at the same time happy for us and extremely supportive. It would be sad not having the hustle and bustle of the last months, but there is a baby coming, we have to bring her to a stable place, in our family.
And certainly our little girl was in a hurry to come. On New Year's Eve, while we were having dinner and chatting happily she gave us a tremendous scare. Teddy was in a lot of pain and terrified, me too, but I wouldn't show it to her. One of us had to be strong.
"Happy New Year." Teddy gives me a slight hand squeeze and looks at me with her tired face, her red eyes and swollen so much crying, but with a huge smile.
I bring her hand to my lips and kiss it. "Happy New Year. I love you."
"I love you more." She grimaces with another contraction.
"Breathe, breathe." I wipe the sweat off her forehead and remove strands of hair from her face.
"She has to stay there, she is not in position and she is not ready, and neither am I!" She cries and clings to my hand tightly.
We see the ball drop in the emergency room of the Grey Sloan and come into 2010 with Teddy connected to IVs and monitors in her chest, baby bump and hands, completely terrified and I holding her hand all the time.
Addison suggested to perform a C-section; Although Teddy was almost 33 weeks along, it was perfectly safe for the baby, although she would have to spend some time in an incubator. However, Teddy refused, she wanted to have the baby inside as long as possible, ensuring that she continued to grow, even if that meant she would have to be in bed for weeks without moving.
Although the measures wouldn't have to be so extreme. Yes, she would have to rest and could continue with her daily activities, but without any strenuous or exhausting work. She was discharged the next day, we came back home and I spent the rest of the day spoiling her to no end. Soon Teddy felt better again.
We started looking for places and as we did the question arose. Do we want more children? Most of the places that the real estate agency showed us were huge properties of at least 4 bedrooms. How would we fill all that space? So it was that the question arose. We didn't rule it out, but we didn't make a decision at the time either. So for the moment we decided on a beautiful 3-bedroom house. It was a beautiful property and best of all, it was very close to my mother's house and close to the Grey Sloan, where I would soon start working and where Teddy would surely do so once she decided to return to work.
As soon as we had the keys to the house we started to furnish and decorate it, giving each space our special touch, making it feel more cozy, more like our home. We put special effort in the baby's room, we wanted everything to be perfect, every little detail. Every little blanket, every cushion, every stuffed animal, every ornament, everything.
"It's perfect." Teddy sighs when she sees the final result. All in soft shades of pink, white and some touches of gold.
I hug her from behind and let her rest on my chest. I kiss her neck and breathe her in, running my hands up and down her big baby belly. "She will be here very soon. I can't wait to see her face, to have her in our arms… tell her so many things."
"Oh, yes?" Teddy moans and tilts her head for me to kiss her neck.
"I can't wait to tell her how it was that I met her mommy." I smile against the skin of her neck, waiting to see if she catches my words.
"What?!" She turns around in my arms with an expression of amazement. "W-w-what...?"
I take her face in my hands. "I can't wait to tell her about that first time we shared the OR. How at that moment I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. How you caught me from the first moment I saw you." With every word I say her eyes fill more with tears.
"You remember." She sighs.
"Not all. But I do remember that. I remember that first time I saw you and how I immediately fell in love with you."
"When did you remember that?" She smiles and cries.
"I dreamed about it, and woke up and after a few hours it was still very clear in my mind until I realized it wasn't a dream. "She hugs me tightly by the neck and I sink my face in her soft golden hair. "And I know that I will keep remembering. I know, being with you has that power."
She takes my face and kisses me deeply. Our kiss becomes more and more heated. I put my hands inside her top and she groans against my lips. She takes my shirt and helps me get rid of it. We haven't been intimate since that day, but I can see in her lustful look that she is ready. I can feel it in my fingertips as her body shivers.
We stumble to our room. No words are needed to confirm what we both feel and desire. We get rid of the clothes that are clearly not necessary, and although Teddy feels shy being naked in front of me, when I begin to gently caress each curve of her body with reverential love she relaxes. "You're perfect." I whisper in her ear and her moans are melodious.
"I love you more than my life." I whisper after we both lie naked and satiated in bed. I see her eyes fill with tears, but a huge smile is drawn on her lips.
"I love you so much." She cries and caresses my face with her index finger, as if drawing each of my features.
I bring her against my chest as close to me as her belly allows and cover her with the blankets. In a matter of minutes, we are both sound asleep.
As the days go by our relationship continues to evolve and ceases to be uncomfortable. Perhaps mainly because of our decision to focus on the here and now. That was the most important thing.
But not only was this, also little by little I started to remember certain things, little details that would seem insignificant, but for me they meant the whole world. Details like how Teddy likes her eggs in the morning, how she likes to sweeten her coffee. Her favorite musical group, Duran Duran. Her birthday, her love for puppies, her favorite dessert, her favorite flowers. Every day more and more details came to my mind and we celebrated each with love and overflowing gratitude.
And now with our daughter, we went from being a couple of months away to she'll be here any second now for her arrival. Teddy managed to make it until the 41 week of pregnancy, although the last weeks were the most difficult. She was extremely emotional and fickle. She spent most of her time in bed or on the sofa. She didn't tell me, but I noticed how painful and uncomfortable this process was being for her. On top of that, she came down with a horrible cold that had her in bed for a week in a row, she didn't want to eat and found it almost impossible to sleep.
It broke my heart into thousands of pieces to see her struggling in this way, but even with everything she was going through, she always did her best to show me her best smile. Although I didn't like that sometimes she seemed to take all this just because "I had it worse", as if just for that reason she had no right to complain.
At this point I didn't give a damn about what I had been through, the important thing was that I was here now and I was with her and I didn't lie when I told her I'd rather go through that experience a thousand times, than allow her to go through it and in the process losing our sweet baby girl.
Since unfortunately our girl didn't turn at all in recent weeks and remained in a transversal position until the end, Addison programmed Teddy for a C-section.
March 3, 2010
That would be from now on one of the best days of my life. The day in which the other love of my life would be born.
That day we both woke up very early to go to the hospital. Teddy was thoughtful and clearly anxious. I could see her wiping the sweat from her hands constantly against her clothes, biting her lips and scratching her head.
"Everything will be fine." I squeeze her thigh and stroke her bump while we wait for the light to turn green on our way to the Grey Sloan. She places her hand on top of mine in her belly and doesn't let it go until we get to the hospital.
As soon as we check in, we are taken to the room where Teddy is changed into a gown and given the respective intravenous fluids and then examined. Addison comes in to see how we are doing and make sure everything is going great.
A couple of hours later the nurses come for Teddy to take her to the OR and I walk beside her holding her hand at all times.
"She will be here in minutes." Teddy sobs.
"And she will be perfect, just like her mom."
We separate only a few minutes, while I change and scrub to be allowed in the OR. While I brush my hands I see through the window into the operating room as they have Teddy sitting on the stretcher, a nurse holds her in front and she rests her head on her shoulder. She's crying. Behind her the anesthesiologist inserts a long needle into her back. It breaks my heart.
When I come in, practically everything is ready. Teddy has been anesthetized and is already placed for the C-section, a small curtain covers her from looking past her chest where the rest of her body is covered except for her baby bump, which is completely exposed, ready to be cut open. The nurses rush to have the trays with the instruments ready and in one corner the pediatrician also prepares everything to receive our girl.
I take a seat on a small stool next to Teddy. She's wearing a hair net cap and nasal oxygen cannulas. She was having some trouble breathing due to anxiety. She is cold and trembling. I hug her the best I can given our positions and lay my forehead on her temple.
"You are being so strong. I'm so proud of you. You are a warrior. I will never thank you enough for this."
"I... I..." Her voice is shaky.
"Shhh, don't say anything. I know."
"Are we ready?!" Addison enters the OR and smiles at us warmly. "Everything will be fine Teddy. You have nothing to worry about."
Then everyone takes positions and I don't let go of Teddy's hand. We are both trembling and tears run down Teddy's temples and down my cheeks.
"Scalpel." Addison instructs her assistant nurse.
"They're about to make the first cut." I whisper to Teddy and kiss her on the forehead.
I peek to see on the monitor everything they are doing when I start to feel very dizzy out of nowhere and my head begins to throb in an overwhelming way.
"Are you alright?" Teddy asks me scared.
"Yeah, yeah." I try to assure her, but the truth is that I don't feel well at all. I feel that my head is going to explode and the entire OR is spinning around me.
"Please don't scare me." Teddy sobs.
"Doctor Hunt, is everything okay?" Addison asks me without taking her eyes off the task at hand.
"Yes, yes, yes. It's just very hot in here."
"Come on, Doctor Hunt! Trauma surgeon, don't tell me that now a C-section impresses you."
I smile tightly, and I try to fix my eyes only on Teddy who keeps crying when she sees me in this state. I rest my head on her shoulder and kiss her there softly. "I'm fine, I'm fine, don't worry about me, please." She brings her hand to my head and scratches me with her fingers very, very softly.
"Okay. Are you ready to meet this little angel?" Addison asks us enthusiastically.
"Is she here already?" Teddy cries with a nervous smile.
I peek over the little curtain. "Not yet." I inform her. "But almost."
"I can't feel anything, I want to see her and have her here on my chest!"
"Just a few seconds." I kiss and squeeze her hand. I still don't feel very well, my head is still throbbing and I'm having a hard time focusing my eyes, but I try to put it on the back of my head. I don't want to miss anything from this moment.
And then... she is here.
"My goodness! She is a very big baby!" Addison exclaims as she delivers my daughter.
She is perfect. All chubby, pinkish, and covered in some blood and vernix. Crying at the top of her lungs and that only makes me burst into tears too.
"I want to see her! I want to see her!" Teddy cries.
"Want to make the honors, doctor hunt?" Addison hands me a scissors to cut the umbilical cord. I take them with shaky hands and cut it.
"She's so perfect!" I cry with my forehead against Teddy's.
They immediately wrap her in a blanket and place her on Teddy's chest and I hug and kiss both my girls. Teddy and I cry. This moment is more than I could expect and imagine. It is the best moment of my life. The second time I fall in love at first sight. And my two loves are here, in front of me. And I am the damn luckiest man in the world. Until everything goes black.
TEDDY
I wake up confused. I look around and realize that I am already in my room in the maternity guard. Everything happened very fast. Owen passed out. I got terrified. The nurses took my daughter from my chest. I screamed like crazy and then everything went dark.
I try to get up on my elbows when a hand lays me back to bed. It's Owen. He smiles at me sweetly. He looks good, but I don't understand anything. Then I hear some soft mewls.
I smile at Owen. He turns around and returns with our little girl already changed in the stuff we brought for her from home; a soft pink onesie with golden stars, a pink hat with a bow and in her soft white blanket that granny Evelyn had knitted for her. Owen helps me lift the back of bed to hold the baby. He kisses her forehead very, very softly and then places her in my arms and I can't help bursting into tears again.
"Hey my love." I cry. "You're so beautiful." Call it mother's love, but she's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. Her skin is so, so soft and pink. Her fleshy, small and red lips in a pout. Her chubby cheeks. Her tiny nose and soft reddish hair on her little head.
Owen sits next to me in bed facing me. "9.5 pounds, 19 inch. She is a big baby!" He strokes her head with his finger.
"No wonder I was huge too. But she is perfect." I look at him, smile and cup his face with my hand. "What happened? You feel good? You gave me a tremendous scare."
He takes my hand and kisses it. "I'm fine. You are the one who should rest, you almost got out of the doctors' hands, they had to sedate you. But I'm fine."
"What happened?" I insist.
He smiles and looks at our daughter tenderly, then he takes her from my arms in his. I am very confused.
"You know, baby… approximately, I don't know... 10 months ago? I... I told a beautiful, beautiful woman how much I loved her. I was very scared of her reaction, but she corresponded to me and thanks to that, today, you are here."
It takes me a few seconds to record his words, but when I do it my heart turns upside down. "Owen." I sigh.
He looks at me with eyes full of tears. "I don't know how it happened, or what caused it. If it was the anxiety of knowing that this little bundle was about to be born, or seeing you so scared and vulnerable... I don't know. But a huge flood of memories came to my mind. The good and bad. The torture, the fear and the sadness. But also the happy moments, the love... you."
"What?!" I cry and smile.
"I don't know if I have recovered all my memories. But the important thing is that I remember you. I remember hundreds of moments with you. I remember the day I told you that I loved you. I remember football matches. Endless talks under the stars. Arduous days of work. I remember our nights together before that day. Now I remember where those huge feelings I had for you the first days I came back are they from."
I can't even say anything. I throw myself into his arms, being careful not to crush our girl and he holds her with one arm and me with the other and we both cry with joy and endless gratefulness. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you so, so, so much!" I cry on his shoulder.
"And I love you too. With all my heart, with everything in me. And I will love you all my life. You are the love of my life. They can erase you from my mind a thousand times, and a thousand times I would fall in love with you."
The three of us would have loved to stay that way. Embraced in our little bubble of love. But our daughter started crying.
I laugh as I take her back in my arms from Owen's arms. "With all this we've been through, we haven't truly thought of a name for her."
Owen takes her tiny wrist showing her birth band. "Well, Baby Altman-Hunt doesn't sound so bad." He jokes, although in reality we both know that no matter how much we think of a name, he will always call her baby.
"I'm serious!" I chuckle.
"I know... have you thought of any names?"
"Maybe. But I don't know what you're going to think. And you?"
"Same."
"Good. Let's share our names."
"Allison." We both smile, share a quick kiss, then look at Allison. Our Allison.
"Hopefully she isn't as feisty as her auntie Allison." I say, remembering how adventurous, stubborn and spontaneous my first Allison was. I imagine what her reaction would be to see me become a mother. I know she would've been here from the very first moment, making this whole process a lot easier, fighting with Owen to hold the baby and naming her after her even before asking us.
"Or as witty and curious as her mother. Imagine if one day she decides to wax herself!" I look at Owen with a frown, but I can't help laughing.
"Did you remember that too?!" I pretend to complain and he shrugs with a cocky smile. But I'm not angry, of course not. Those little memories, those little moments are what make us what we are. Those little moments are the ones that brought us closer, the ones that made me fall in love like crazy more and more for him every day. And those moments are the ones we will treasure for the rest of our days together. Because this is only the beginning. I have the rest of my life to love him and to fall in love with him more and more every day.