"Hah… I thought you were immune to minor sickness? But now you're bedridden." I snickered at the sick Bokuto, who believed he wouldn't get sick if he played with Kazue when she was sick. "You're lucky that we live close by, and I care about you too! And… It's partially my fault." If I had kicked Bokuto out after our talk, then he wouldn't have gotten sick.
"Nah…" Bokuto's voice was stuffy and nasally as he looked over at my direction and smiled. The tip of his nose was bright red; he looked so cute. He can be Rudolph the reindeer's cousin. "I wanted to stay and play with Kazue. I owe her one anyways since I didn't get to see her after the game." My heart hurt for some reason from his words of honesty. I don't know what he thinks about my daughter, or why she's important to him for Bokuto to say that.
Without thinking too much about this topic, I proceeded with the conversation anyways. I'm her mom, and I have the right to know things if it's related to my daughter. "Bokuto, what does Kazue mean to you? I mean like, you don't have a blood relationship with her. You've also met her a few months ago. What's the attachment you have? I'm just curious… Because who would want to be friends with a mom like me?" I knew I shouldn't be too talkative with a sick person, but Bokuto refused to sleep despite his fatigue.
"She's…" Bokuto muttered the last few words as I didn't catch on.
"What? I can't hear you." Why was he mumbling now? Usually, he's always loud and outspoken. He needed to turn up his volume.
Although his face was already red, it got two shades darker. What the heck was he thinking? "She's cute…very cute. How can I let a cute child be sad?" His words took me by surprise as I laughed.
Slapping his arm lightly, I let him off the hook because he was right. Kazue was a big cutie. She made Bokuto fall in love with her cuteness. She's already messing with a boy's heart right now. "I see, I see." But the next few words that left Bokuto's mouth made me speechless.
"And… She resembles you too. Kazue smiles and laughs just like you. Your guys' facial expressions are the same. It's like I'm looking at a mini-Hayashi!" Bokuto tiredly smiled, and I knew he was just blabbering out random things since he took medicine earlier but his words hit differently. "I would be the happiest dad if I had a daughter who looked just like her."
Ba-thump!
I felt my heart leaped over a hurdle, and I began feeling sad again. Kazue never once wondered about her dad or ever said 'dad' before. She's so used to 'mom' that I fear she will be bullied for not having a dad or a dad figure. Pushing my throbbing heart aside, I placed a hand on his burning forehead. It was scorching hot that I could cook bacon on his head. "Bokuto, you should rest. It's useless of you to keep staying up." I moved my hand down to cover his eyes. I hoped me blocking any light would make him go to sleep, but he decided to resist.
"I don't want to, Hayashi!" He peeled off my hand and stared at me with his big yellow eyes. Behind his waterline, clear liquid began to pool up. "If I close my eyes now, you're going to leave too." Bokuto's voice cracked, reminding me about his past. He's been a lonely boy ever since he was little. No one can really fill the void of the parental roles, not even grandparents. Despite that loneliness, he didn't let that bother him as he kept it in the back of his mind, ignoring the fact that there was an empty space that couldn't be satisfied while growing up. Bokuto kind of reminded me of Kazue. I don't think there will be anyone who would step up to be her dad. Will Kazue resent Oikawa for being selfish? Will she treat Oikawa differently after he chooses to be the father she deserves in a few months to a few years from now?
Pain swelled in my heart, and I grabbed a hold of his large hand. My small hands clasped his tightly, assuring him that I'll be here. "Bokuto, I'm not going anywhere so don't worry about it. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise. If you don't sleep now, then you won't be able to show me and Kazue that you're the best ace in Japan!" I had no choice but to rattle him up. He's a man filled with pride. I had to poke it somehow in order for him to listen to me. I showed him a toothy grin, and his face lit up in delight.
"Of course! An ace like me can't be sick! I have to make it to the top 3 at nationals."
"I'll tell you a story to help you fall asleep better." I took a quick glance at him, seeing that he closed his eyes now. I wondered how long it'll take for him to sleep. "This is a story about a relationship that was not meant to be. Perhaps it was wrong timing, or it was just a lesson learned from each other…" As I told him a story I read recently, I watched him fall asleep: his breathing was airy as his chest moved up and down. Bokuto looked peaceful sleeping on his bed. Watching him made me feel tired as well, but I can't sleep until I get back home sadly.
I stopped midway in my storytelling when he was fully unconscious. It didn't take long for him to sleep. It must be nice. It takes me a while to fully sleep. I brought my hand up to his forehead to see how hot he was burning, and his temperature wasn't scorching but at a moderate point where it could be a bothersome.
Just when I was about to step back from him and stretch my aching body, I felt Bokuto grabbing my wrist out of nowhere in his sleep. "Don't leave…!" He suddenly called out, and I turned my head to face him, to only find out that he was sleep-talking. His eyes were shut while his brows knitted and lips slightly parted in his sleep.
A soft chuckle left my lips as I sat at the edge of his bed right next to him. I reassured Bokuto about me staying in place. "I'm not going anywhere. I told you that earlier too." I stroked his hair with the other hand which wasn't in Bokuto's grip. My fingers ran through his soft locks like grazing the tips of tall grasses. "I wonder what you're dreaming in that little head of yours?"
In a blink of an eye, I found myself wrapped in his muscular arms. He secured me tightly like he didn't want to let me go. Perhaps it's because of his dream but still. My body was pressed against his hard rock chest, feeling everything from his thin cotton shirt—his toned body, warmish-hot temperature, and especially his beating heart against my rapid one. My heart thumped loudly in my chest and ear. Being this close to him made me also get hot as my ears were burning like accidentally letting a marshmallow get overly cooked in a fire. This may be the second time where I'm this close to him. Calm down, Mayu. Bokuto will soon release his grip in no time. I'll just have to wait until then….
Time went on and Bokuto refused to let me go in his sleep. I even tried wiggling, but he did the worst thing possible and tightened his arms. Now I was literally pressed against him. There was no room to adjust and turn while my back was to his chest this time. "Come on, Bokuto… Why do you have to do me like this…?" I silently cried, getting feverishly hot by his temperature and closeness of our bodies causing my back to get sweaty. It felt like a sauna in the road between my back and his chest.
To pass more time, I began thinking about the last time I was in a guy's arms since I'm currently in one. Bokuto was basically spooning me without his knowledge. His big frame made me feel so tiny when I'm not that small. He's just built differently. Nonetheless, I couldn't recall how it felt like when Oikawa spooned me back when we were together. It was like my brain had no memory of it even though I knew we did cuddle before. Maybe I threw all the memories away when he hurt me so badly which was a possible answer. Well I'll assume it was good but not as amazing as Bokuto, if I were to be honest. Just generalizing Bokuto's hugs to his cuddles right now, it felt like I was hugging a teddy bear. Although he's not squishy, it's just a warm and jolly embrace that spreads positivity from one person to another.
Eventually, drowsiness took over my body as my eyelids were getting heavy. The boredom and quietness was making me very sleepy. How could I not fall asleep in this condition? But I couldn't just sleep, I'm in Bokuto's bed and arms! I'm invading his personal space and privacy. He will totally die in embarrassment once he finds out that he locked me in his arms. "Damn… But I'm tired though…" I whimpered sadly as my body was drained too. I hope I'm not catching their cold now…
At the end, I knocked out before I knew it.
"Mhmmm…" I groaned, slowly waking up from my slum...ber? My slumber?! As if lightning struck my head, I recalled Bokuto hugging me while he slept. Due to his strong arms, I was unable to escape. My eyes flashed open, scanning the bed and room to see it empty. "Oh my gosh!" The blood rushed all the way up to my face as I was instantly hot in a snap. Thoughts were running through my head about what Bokuto would think. He might accuse me of sleeping with him! "AHH!" I rolled out of his bed and headed out to find him in his house.
This wasn't supposed to be a scandalous moment! It was just an accident! I hope he believed in my words that I didn't sleep with him because I wanted to….
"Bokuto! Bokuto, where are you?" I shouted in the hallway, then darted towards the living room to find it empty. "What? Maybe the kitchen!" I checked there but he wasn't present. "Whaaat? Where could he have gone?!" It would be bad if he had run away—even at his own house—because he's embarrassed too.
However, before I could run outside and check just in case, a voice from behind reassures my anxious heart. "Hayashi? What are you doing yelling my name and running around the house like a madman!" Bokuto's laughing voice filled the air as he described my current situation in a few short words.
I didn't care where he was, but I had to get this out of me. "Bokuto, I—"
"Hayashi, I'm sorry and don't worry about it. I'm not mad! It's clearly me who made you sleep with me. I have a habit of hugging my pillow while I sleep." Bokuto shyly explained, seeing how red his ears were as he admitted to having a hugging problem. "So please forget about what happened! I don't want this to strain our friendship! Sorry again."
Giggling at the flustered Bokuto, I let out a sigh of relief. Good me and him were on the same page. "It's okay! Don't worry… As long as you know that you did it, and it wasn't me who found my way there then it's all good. I was going to bring that up too, but thank goodness you did first. So when did you wake up?"
"Like 10 minutes before you woke up. I had to use the bathroom that's why."
Oddly enough, an awkward silence filled the air between us as we didn't have anything to say. It's funny how Bokuto was usually talkative and was now mute. He must be really, really embarrassed about it, so I quickly excused myself. "Uh, it's getting late, Bokuto. I should be heading home now. If you need anything...just call me!"
"R-right! Yeah, for sure!" Bokuto agreed, nodding his head as I scrambled to get my things from his room and sprinted out of his house.
I've been out for almost 5 hours. I prayed my parents weren't going to ask about what happened and such. Even if they did, I'll just lie to them. Thinking back to being in Bokuto's arms, my face got hot again from the thoughts of being intimate with him. That was way different from a hug, so it's hard not to feel shy about it. I hope Bokuto doesn't beat himself up for his actions because I'm alright. Then I thought about my daughter, "I hope Kazue is behaving well."