13
TONKS swore as she allowed herself to be led back to the Hospital Wing, with neither Remus nor her speaking much, that the tension in the air between the two of them would be scarlet if the air in the empty Hospital Wing would have been a visible hue.
As Professor Lupin gently, though somewhat forcefully, made her lay back against the Hospital Wing's bed, one hand firmly on her uninjured shoulder, there was nothing but the sound of the sheets rustling as Tonks begrudgingly tucked herself back in.
Tonks shifted, resting back against the stack of pillows, somewhat awkwardly, and gave her head a sharp jerk to shake off the growing feeling of unease.
She almost regretted leaving the Hospital Wing in search of Sirius Black, finding him spying on her. Well, almost. She silently bristled, not soon to forget she'd caught her own cousin spying on her little swim in the Black Lake.
Lupin sat on the edge of her bedside, his wand in hand, a basin of medical supplies, and what looked like a thick, nasty-smelling ointment that caused Tonks to crinkle her nose in disgust.
"Where are you hurt?" he asked, his light brown eyes darkening slightly in annoyance at his partner's disappearance and looking very serious as he stared at Tonks from his spot next to her. "Tell me what happened and be honest. Why did you wander off? If you're hurt, tell me. Being injured is nothing to be ashamed of, Tonks, so I don't want you keeping anything from me for the sake of appearances," Remus grumbled, sounding put off.
"I…I'm fine, Remus. I—I'm not hurt. B—but there's something I have to tell you, I…" Tonks hesitated, painfully wringing, and twisting her hands together nervously in her lap as she glanced down at them, suddenly not wanting to meet Lupin's eyes.
But she had to tell the man the truth if this partnership of theirs was going to work…. Tonks swallowed down hard past the lump in her throat.
"I saw Sirius, Remus. In the hallway, just there," she croaked hoarsely, giving a jerk of her head towards the open doorway. "H-he was spying on us, watching both of us sleep."
Tonks fell silent and watched as Remus gave a knee-jerk reaction, his arm giving a twitch as he made a move to grab onto Tonks' arm, but thought better of it, and lowered it. Tonks winced almost the moment the words left her lips, realizing they had not been the best way to start off this conversation.
Though, considering all the other topics that could gently broach the subject of her wanting to reveal to her partner the nature of her relationship with Sirius, maybe it was best in this regard, considering Remus had caught her red-handed out of bounds of the Hospital Wing, to just be honest with her partner.
Madame Pomfrey had confined her to bed rest with her arm in its sling and healing for at least a few more days, much to her chagrin, and the fact that she had been able to force herself out of bed at all within a few precious hours of being admitted was something of a miracle. Tonks was surprised she wasn't angry with her.
She felt Remus stun at her statement, but if the man was at all surprised by this revelation, he was quite good at hiding it.
"And you left in search of Black by yourself?" he demanded, staring at Tonks, wide-eyed and incredulous, as though she had sprouted antlers on top of her head. "If he really was in the castle, then why on Merlin's green earth didn't you wake me up, Tonks?"
Tonks's movements stilled as she looked at Lupin in astonishment. His light brown eyes glinted in the darkness of the Hospital Wing, considering it had to be at least three in the morning, and his voice was almost dull and lifeless in nature.
Although he was perched at the edge of her bed, close enough for Tonks to reach out with her uninjured hand and caress his face if she was of a mind to, it was too dark to make out his face.
But it was enough for her to sense that Remus was not angry with her, but instead, rather bitter, and his next statement all but confirmed this.
"Why did you go by yourself? Were you trying to run away from me, is that it?" Lupin snapped in a defeated tone.
"No," Tonks stammered, a light pink blush speckling along her cheeks as she lifted her chin to better look Lupin in the eyes, in the hopes of rectifying the misunderstanding. "I—I wasn't…"
"So, what then?" he demanded, hardening his gaze as he looked at her. "Tell me, Tonks, why you didn't want to wake me up. You and I are supposed to be partners, but we cannot continue to work like this, Dora, not unless we trust one another. I want the truth from you, and please don't think of lying to me."
Tonks would have immediately answered Lupin, but something about the Defense Against the Dark Art's Professor's countenance made the young Auror hesitate and falter in giving her answer. Remus had spoken with a certain sense of defeatism as if he could not be bothered to argue with her, yet, not wanting to press the issue, and yet, feeling it was imperative he did that.
His immediate reaction, as Tonks had predicated, was one of an instant wariness as he lifted his chin and looked her way.
"I could not get you involved, Remus. You were sleeping, a—and you looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you up," Tonks managed to gasp out in a small, surprisingly meek voice, cringing.
"You didn't…wake me up…because I was sleeping," Remus repeated slowly as if the man couldn't process her words fully.
She heard him huff in frustration and turn away from her, ducking his head so that one stubborn lock of his coarse light brown bangs never ceased to fall into his eyes, hiding his expression from Tonks. Now Tonks began to grow quite perturbed.
After several minutes of a horrible, excruciating silence, Remus finally turned to face Tonks, his irritable, annoyed expression still very much intact. He looked exhausted, the pale, peaky skin underneath his eyes dark and rather sallow-looking as if he had not slept soundly within the last few days, at least.
"It isn't as if you were any different, Remus," continued Tonks nervously, wishing to progress their exchange and hopefully come to an understanding with her partner, but her voice came out sounding petty and Tonks cringed, having sensed the change in her tone and the young pink-haired witch did not like this at all. "You were in the corridor just as I was, Professor," she murmured.
"It is different with me, Dora, and you know it!" said Lupin hoarsely, shifting at the waist and lifting his head to glare over at Tonks but by doing so, accidentally revealed the unhinged look on his pale face, which only caused her to look up at him in alarm.
"Remus, I—" Tonks started to say, but Remus interrupted her once more, slamming the wooden basin of medical supplies and his wand down on the night table next to her Hospital Wing bed.
"I know Sirius, Dora. He used to be my friend. I know the way Black thinks, how he moves, I can anticipate his reactions, possibly even what his next move would be, but you do not!" Remus snapped. He was not exactly yelling at her, but his tone conveyed immense displeasure, his voice clipped and quite harsh. "The man could have killed you if I had not found you when I had! I needed to be involved, Dora!" Lupin shouted, hearing his voice increase in volume. "You don't know what Sirius Black could have done to you, Tonks."
Lupin gave his head a curt shake as he thought of all the horrible, unspeakable things his former old friend could have done to this celestial-like creature that seemed to have a vice grip on his mind.
"You cannot risk your life like that again, do you understand? The next time you think you see him, tell me!" Lupin heaved a heavy sigh of frustration and pinched at the front of his temples, as though fighting off a splitting migraine.
"But you…you came after me," Tonks all but scowled at Remus, growing more and more bewildered, and also a little bit unnerved by the man's wolfish, volatile temper, if she was being completely honest with herself. He was always so level-headed and calm, but the man seemed to be possess a short fuse, or perhaps it was because the full moon was but a few days away.
Tonks fell silent and studied Remus for a moment. She could tell by the way the wizard's shoulders stiffened that her statement had, for reasons that were unknown to her, unnerved him greatly.
"Y—you could have left me, you know." Tonks's words were soft, unassuming, and she hoped harbored no hint of blame at all.
She had not intended to worry Remus by trying to go after Sirius, and despite the coldness of Lupin's darkened brown eyes as his head whiplashed sharply upwards and he regarded her from his perch at the edge of her bed, she was unwilling for her words to lose any semblance of their original meaning.
"But you didn't," Tonks continued seriously and this time, with confusion.
His head snapped up so fast from where she sat at the edge of the bed that Tonks had to move her head back to avoid connecting with it, and the edges of his lips curled upward in a snarl.
"There is quite a substantial difference from the small risk that I took in coming after you just now compared to what you did, Tonks. You were not just risking your life by chasing after Sirius alone in your injured state," he growled, Remus wildly gesticulating to her injured arm and shoulder in its blue sling, "but you were basically willing to sacrifice yourself, for me, more concerned for my own-wellbeing than that of your own safety. Why?"
So, that was the root of his aggression then. He was worried about her.
Tonks sighed softly, not sure if she were ready or even willing to talk about how nervous and afraid that she had felt when she'd discovered Black spying on them from the corridor just there. The event as a whole had been terrifying, it was too fresh.
Tonks sat in silence in surprise at the softness of his voice, wondering if it was possible for his already quiet and sometimes timid voice to become any softer? It must have been, because that's exactly what Remus's tone sounded like, even in rancor.
"Remus, I…I just did not want Sirius to hurt you," she whispered.
Because I care about you, her mind answered, but she dared not give that thought a voice. It was much too soon for it.
"I owe you, Professor Lupin, it would seem," she sighed tiredly, swallowing down past the lump in her voice and cringing as her tone cracked and faltered, but she forced herself to remain calm, despite the trepidation she felt towards swearing that she was seeing the shadow of the wolf within him flit across his features.
"You owe me nothing, Tonks," Remus murmured, lowering his voice an octave, and Tonks sensed the shift in his countenance.
"But after all the trouble I've caused you so far, you still came to look for me."
Tonks felt her words catch in her throat and fought back the urge to try to wring her hands together out of a nervous habit and decided it wouldn't be a good idea considering her left arm, her wand arm, was resting securely in its damn sling.
"I do not deserve your kindness, Remus, but I—I want you to know that I'm truly grateful for it. So…thank you. For everything…."
Tonks ducked her head and played with her cuticles, picking away with her good hand at her chipped dark purple nail polish of the hand nestled in her sling. Her words now felt utterly spent. She, at the very least, had made a valiant attempt to steer their conversation in the right direction, but now it was up to the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor actually wanted to acknowledge and address her words. Nothing more between them could be solved if Remus John Lupin did not want to talk to her.
Sensing Professor Lupin was yet to be convinced, she exhaled a tense, shaking breath and forced herself to continue speaking in an effort to try to reach her partner, to make Remus understand, that why she had done what she did was to save him.
Tonks frowned, knitting her brows together in a quandary as she bit down on her bottom lip and fidgeted with her fingertips.
"Remus, I went after Sirius in the hopes of catching him, yes, I admit that. It was a chance that I took, but I did it to try to keep you from harm," she emphasized through clenched teeth. "I did not want you to get hurt so I went after Sirius on my own, Remus."
"We aren't arguing about this, Dora!" Here, the volume of Lupin's voice increased further, and Tonks flinched and shrank back in both hurt and surprise as the werewolf now sounded furious, so angry, in fact, that if Tonks did not know her partner at all, she would have pitied anyone who attempted to contradict him at this point, for he was not in a pleasant mood and not to be tested.
He winced, knowing it was too late to take back his words, for his partner did not deserve to be yelled at and scolded in such a harsh manner, particularly not after what she had almost narrowly escaped if she would have been unlucky enough to run into Sirius Black in some deserted corridor if he'd not been there, but at the same time, Tonks needed to take his words seriously.
"If you should spot Sirius Black again, Tonks, even just for a moment, whether that's up close or from a distance, you've got to make it known to me, do you understand? I am your partner."
He could not emphasize it enough. Remus sighed, carding his fingers through his thick tuft of light brown hair, and turned away, needing a moment to compose himself and get back under control.
"I—I only want to protect you, Tonks. I hope you know that," he snapped, daring to scoot a fraction of an inch closer, very nearly putting his hand on the wall next to her pillow, dangerously close to her left ear, but then stopped, as if he didn't trust himself.
"Protect me?" repeated Tonks after a stunning moment of silence, her normally soft and quiet voice taking on a much sharper edge as her pale gray eyes narrowed, matching her partner's hostility towards her sneaking out of the Hospital Wing. "Aren't you forgetting that I'm an Auror, Professor Lupin? I don't need your protection, Remus, because at the moment you found me, I wasn't in any danger that I could recall. Sirius Black escaped!"
"You and I both know that if Black could manage to breach the castle's barriers even once, then he will try again," Lupin murmured in a hoarse voice, lifting his head, his light brown eyes glinting precariously through the Hospital Wing's near darkness, burning brighter than any midnight lighted torches ever could.
Remus lifted his chin and jutted it out slightly defiantly, silently challenging his partner to contest his words, unable to help but to shake his head slightly in disbelief at Tonks' staring.
Did Tonks truly have no idea what Sirius could have done to her?
What the man would have more than likely done to Tonks if he hadn't found her when he did? Several dozens of scenarios flitting through his tormented, lonely mind, and each one of them bloodier and more violent than the last. Remus grimaced, tearing his terrified gaze away from the very entryway that Tonks claimed to have woken up and seen Sirius standing over there, spying.
Lupin's shaking hands found their way to the top of his pounding head and he throttled his urge to growl like the savage wolf that he knew rested deep within the confines of his chest, chained for now, but the full moon was upon him in a few days.
And he desperately wanted to tell Tonks the truth before then. As he continued looking at Tonks in silence, who was growing steadily more and more uneasy the longer these unspoken words between them lingered in the air, unsaid, he realized that Tonks had no idea just how fortunate she was not to run into Sirius.
She had no idea of what he was capable of. Remus squeezed his eyes tightly shut as a series of memoirs of Sirius and the other Marauders flitted through his mind, and he blinked back tears.
He wanted to yell at Tonks, to tell her not to wander off alone unprotected around the castle at night without him by her side. He wanted to inform her of what horrible things she had narrowly avoided tonight, so she would know just how important it was that she not go anywhere, especially not after Black, without him.
Sirius Black had murdered Peter Pettigrew and those twelve innocent Muggle bystanders during a big fight, but that seemed like nothing compared to what he would do to her. Black always had been a womanizer.
At that thought, Remus felt an abrupt bitterness seep unbidden to the pit of his stomach. Lupin exhaled a shaking breath, willing his racing heart to calm down and his breaths to regulate back to something that resembled normalcy. Tonks needed to understand that, but perhaps that conversation would be better saved for a later time.
Right now, the young pink-haired witch was looking positively miserable, and a lecture was not at all what Nymphadora needed.
She puzzled him, this witch. Tonks was unlike any other woman he had met before in his life.
If he was being completely honest with himself at the moment, there was a huge part of Tonks' sweet, non-judgmental personality that reminded him in so many ways of Alice Longbottom, his other best friend.
Gone now, he thought, fighting back a choked sob and fresh tears. All gone. All of them. To say that Remus was feeling horribly guilty was a gross misunderstanding. Lupin let out a tired sigh.
As Tonks nervously shifted her gaze and met her eyes with his and theirs locked with one another, he saw her flinch in fear.
"You are a curious woman, Dora," he murmured, twirling his wand idly in his fingers, a distraction that he secretly welcomed as he found his partner's gaze too unnerving and intense for his liking, the way those pale gray orbs were unabashed and unyielding. "Given what I know of what happened tonight, I've come to realize that your wit is not the only attribute to cause trouble, Tonks," he murmured, raising his head just in time to see Tonks lower hers, a pink blush of shame speckling on her cheeks.
It shamed Remus to admit to himself that Tonks' redirection allowed his frazzled nerves to feel at least a little bit more at ease.
"You're right, Remus," Tonks muttered, her tone cold and solemn. Her attention was fixated at a spot on the wall behind Remus's head, though Lupin was puzzled by the glimpse of a wry smile as it touched her pink lips and stretched them upwards.
"You have a talent for trouble," he continued, his tone bordering on biting, but at this point, Remus did not care at all.
She had scared him tonight, more than Lupin cared to admit to himself, or to anyone else. When he had woken to find her not in her bed, nor in any part of the Hospital Wing, for that matter.
Tonks gasped in response to the wizard's bitter accusations, though what troubled her, even more, was that the man was right.
But Merlin damn it, why did Remus have to say it like that?!
Blinking down at the floor from where she lay in her bed, Tonks swiveled to lift her head high. Did Remus truly believe her to have such low principles, that she would stupidly risk her own life like that with no regard for what Remus would think of her?
Anger rose within Tonks, but the young witch stomped it down, refusing to let Lupin see it with his own two eyes for himself. What had happened to her earlier today with the hippogriff, and then tonight down in the dungeons was her fault.
"I do," Tonks admitted sourly, shaking her head, and finally turning her head to meet Remus's gaze, who blinked and seemed surprised to hear the young witch who possessed an insatiable stubborn streak confess it. "I should have woken you, Remus. I apologize that I didn't. I was being selfish and self-absorbed, and I didn't consider how badly I scared you tonight. I'm sorry, Professor."
By now, hot tears stung and blurred the edges of her vision. Tonks tried in vain to fight down the salty, slick liquid, to not let them fall, but at this point in the conversation, it was futile.
The emotional and physical stress her body was undergoing over just the last day alone was weighing too heavily upon her shoulders, threatening to engulf her entirely if she couldn't get a grip on herself, though it was becoming increasingly difficult.
She wanted to cry, wanted for Lupin to tell her everything would be okay, that they would apprehend Black and he would not hate her for what she had done by causing him such strife.
Tonks wanted Remus to yell at her, to scream at her for the worry she had caused him tonight. She wanted him to be angry.
"Tonks." Remus's voice was surprisingly gentle, and yet there was a hint of steel laced within, a firmness that told Tonks to look up as she pointedly ducked her head down and to the left, looking away from Remus so that she wouldn't see the disappointment brimming in the man's light brown eyes, to see the hurt within.
She just bloody could not do it. What kind of a partner was she, to have worried him so badly to the point where she had woken him up and caused him to search the castle, just for her?
How could she possibly call herself Remus's partner, much less a friend to the man? How could she say that she liked him when she had done nothing to him but caused him to worry?!
"Tonks, please." Now Remus was practically begging her, and Tonks could no longer hold back the tears as they slid down her face. "Lift your head and look at me, Tonks. Please. I—I did not mean to yell at you like this, I—I just…" His voice trailed off as he paused, seeming to struggle to find the right words to say to her.
It seemed to take the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor an eternity spent in silence before the man found his voice again.
"The moment you spot Sirius Black again, even if it's just from a distance, or if you think it might be him, even if it isn't, you will tell me so that the problem can be rectified. We need to tell Professor Dumbledore in the morning and alert the other teachers. Do you understand, Tonks? I need you to look at me…"
Tonks shrunk down slightly, still keeping her gaze turned away from him, hearing the steel laced within Remus's quiet tone.
She heard him sigh softly before Remus spoke to her again.
"Open your eyes." His voice was much more subdued than before, and Remus sounded exhausted as if he really did not want to press his partner, and yet, found it imperative that he did so.
"I…" Tonks tried to make her voice level but couldn't. "I can't." She ducked her head, still keeping her eyes squeezed tightly shut.
Lupin paused for a moment and then asked the one question that was burning on the tip of his tongue, just begging to be asked.
"Do you trust me?"
That did it. It was enough to elicit a response from Tonks. Tonks felt her eyes flung wide open and her head shot up so fast to meet Remus's questioning, pleading gaze with wide, shocked eyes.
Did she trust her partner?! Of course, she did! She trusted Remus more than she did her own partners, which spoke volumes.
"Yes," she responded instantly, still struggling to stem the tears that she knew by this point were falling uncontrollably down her cheeks. "With my life, Remus. There's no one I trust more than you, Rem."
Oh, damn! She didn't mean to voice that thought out loud!
Tonks was right in that yes, she did trust Remus wholly but suddenly revealing that she trusted her new partner of two weeks so much that she would willingly put her life in his hands and had earlier today when he had helped her stave off Buckbeak's temper.
Well, that kind of confession would scare the hell out of some people. Tonks could practically feel Remus stun at her words.
Great, she thought bitterly to herself. Now he'll pull away—
Before Tonks could so much as even think about finishing her thought, Lupin shot forward and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled Tonks close, careful to be mindful of her arm in its sling as he gently rubbed her uninjured arm.
Despite the heaviness in her stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of her body pressed against his. Tonks sunk into the warmth of Remus's side, appreciative of the simple and yet intimate gesture, in her mind.
He was warm, comforting. Something Tonks at this point desperately needed.
"It's all right, Dora," he murmured, his chest almost vibrating rhythmically as he whispered it into the shell of his ear. "Let it go. For fighting against a hippogriff, and then despite your foolishness at searching for Black alone, you still did considerably well. You managed to take on a fully-grown agitated Hippogriff with an injured arm and you did not kill it, though you could have," he muttered, relinquishing his grip on Tonks and smiling softly as he reached up a stray hand and brushed away the last stray tear that traveled in a gentle tract down her pale face.
He watched, slightly amused, the worst of his anger towards her reckless and thoughtless behavior tonight slowly evaporating, as a light pink blush speckled its way along her cheeks as Lupin reluctantly broke their embrace, though he secretly wished to hold her again, for longer next time, if Tonks would allow him to do it.
Lupin gave Tonks a wide smile, hoping to ease the burden the young witch carried on herself and to start to mend their relationship. "Did you sleep well earlier, at least, Tonks?" he said.
"Wh—what?" Tonks stammered, startling at his question. What on Merlin's green earth did he mean by that?! Did Remus…did he know about her dream? Surely, the man didn't.
Her face flushed at the memory and she quickly averted her gaze. Tonks recovered quickly, swiveling her head, and gave Remus a nervous acknowledgment. "Y—yes, I did, thank you."
Tonks tried her best not to notice how Remus's intense gaze practically bore a hole in her, or his confused, furrowed eyebrows.
She really did not want to go into the details of her dream. It was far too intimate, and highly inappropriate, considering she'd known her new partner for all of two weeks. No. She'd keep it to herself and would take it to her damned bloody grave if need be.
Lupin reached out a gentle hand to her uninjured shoulder and gave it a firm but reassuring squeeze.
"I meant what I said to you earlier, Tonks," he began, hardening his voice slightly, just enough that he hoped he was not coming across as condescending to the young woman. "If you spot Black again, please inform me."
"I will," Tonks answered in a small voice, shrinking down in her bed, and collapsing back against her mountain of pillows.
While it had not been Remus's intention to upset her, at the very least, the only consolation he could offer to assuage his guilt was that Tonks was taking his words seriously now, as his partner.
"Good." He offered her a nod, and a soft, gentle smile. "I don't think you've eaten anything since your admittance earlier. I'm going to head to the kitchens to fetch you something. Are you up for eating? Is your stomach upset? What can I get you to eat?"
Tonks looked surprised at the offer of food but recovered.
"A—anything is fine with me, Remus," she muttered, resting her head back against the pillow and reaching up with her uninjured hand to tuck a wisp of her bright pink pixie back behind her ear where the stray strand rightfully belonged. "Thank you."
Lupin nodded, rising from his spot on the edge of her bed, and left Tonks in the Hospital Wing, hoping this time, she'd stay put.
Though before he left the Hospital Wing, he risked one last glance over his shoulder at his partner's form. She was already asleep. She looked every bit like an angel, injuries notwithstanding, in her white silk and lace nightgown, celestial like her pale skin cut from the finest of pearls, her vibrant pink hair cut a vibrant contrast to the white cotton of her pillowcases.
The nightgown she wore was flattering to her slender, petite figure, and Lupin could tell just from the outline of her form that his partner was perfect. He allowed himself to imagine as he looked at her what she would feel like wrapped in his arms if he were to attempt at some point to hug her again, even…to kiss her.
His body began to react inappropriately to the thoughts of her, and Lupin almost growled in frustration as he shook his head and Remus forced himself to lose his imaginations on other wonders of Tonks.
Remus was grateful that Tonks had opened up to him slightly and had shared her thoughts on why she had behaved the way that she had tonight. It was painful, but at least it was a connection. Perhaps something to build the foundations of their new partnership and eventually, in time, a friendship upon, yes.
He wondered what other experiences had shaped her as he walked out of the Hospital Wing and headed towards the kitchens.
Though she was fast asleep already, he still fully intended to have the house-elves in the kitchens prepare her a plate of something that he could set on the table by her bedside, just in case she was hungry when she woke up, hopefully, a few hours from now. The poor thing was exhausted and needed to rest.
He did not like being so harsh to Dora with his words, but Tonks needed to understand that Remus was not about to tolerate the young witch attempting to play the part of the heroine here and getting herself into dangerous situations like she had tonight.
Remus knew he was still angry with Tonks, and not because Lupin wanted to be, and certainly not because Dora deserved to have him angry with her. But rather, he was upset with Nymphadora because Remus had felt so much fear that he knew he was honestly offended that the Metamorphmagus and Auror did not seem to care about her own well-being as much as Remus clearly did.
Professor Dumbledore had appointed him as her partner to watch her back, and Remus intended to do just that, and he was not about to stand for Dora making choices like wandering after Sirius alone, choices that were so self-destructive.
Lupin had thought that, as he had stormed out of the Hospital Wing when he'd first discovered Tonks was missing when he woke up, for he missed the warmth that the feeling of her body pressed against his had given off, that the unthinkable had happened to her, that perhaps Sirius had gotten to Tonks and had killed her.
That maybe he was too late to save her, and Remus was not apt to soon forget the horrible sick feeling he had felt when he'd first laid eyes upon his partner when she'd come off the topmost step of the dungeons' staircase, how relieved he had been to find his partner still alive and in one piece, injured though Tonks was.
That cold, sinking feeling in the pit of his chest and churning stomach, wondering if Nymphadora Tonks, who was perhaps the sweetest and most innocent witch he'd known his lifetime aside from Lily Potter and Alice Longbottom, to meet such a grisly end.
Remus was not angry with his partner for any other reason than for the fact that Nymphadora had scared him so badly tonight.
And as he strode down the hallway with his hands in the pockets of his trousers, he knew the two of them were not at all finished having their conversation, but he needed to wait until she was of a better sound mind to discuss it.
Lupin realized that was a fear, the fear of losing her, that he never wanted to face again if he could help it.
A difficult conversation but it needed to be had, I think.
Coming up in Chapter 14, we take a peek inside Neville Longbottom's head a few minutes before Professor Lupin's famous boggart class, where he encounters Draco Malfoy, who is hellbent on making Longbottom pay for not letting him copy an assignment, but hopefully a certain someone can help get him out of his spot of trouble...