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The first time the silver teen had broken into tears, he couldn't decipher what his heart was telling him. His soul, so distant in those hollow eyes of his couldn't investigate the cause. All that he knew was how it felt as if his mind had shut down, given up on him for a torment he couldn't quite click with.
Why were his eyes secreting water? Why did his cheeks flush, his lips tremble, his body shake and shiver as if it was cold when it was far too hot to function? Was death knocking on his door another time? Had he no knowledge of what the process of the end was? Had it been a time too long that he could no longer understand what the battlefield had him learn?
Had he become a fool once again? To revert back into a blank slate when he was offered a flurry of emotion, feelings that gave him a sense of himself? These senses.. these colours that filled his new life.. did it not have a place for Sephiroth to savour? His life was only but a mere existence who had to lift a blade and skillfully drain the crimson of passion of his opponents, that's all it should currently be?
Sephiroth blinked his eyes shut that time, gnashing his teeth as this heated sensation flowed through him. Fury, anger, frustration… flowed through his veins as he could not come around what symptoms he was displaying. What were tears? What was this inability to carry his body forward?
Rhapsodos knelt before him, his fluffy auburn head falling to rest at his chest. Sephiroth's tears landed on the bright strands as the older boy showed no signs of movement. The small of his back that was draped with the long royal blue blazer was now in a repulsive shade of purple and brown as the scarlet did not properly mix with the shade.
"Vincent Valentine..? That fool I put out of commission. His capabilities were subpar, not meeting our expectations. You can even say he overstepped his boundaries."
By all mighty ones, Sephiroth could no longer control his need to drive Masamune through the sorry soul of the one who rid him of his new-formed protection merely because he's attained the age of majority. There was no telling what they had meant by putting him out of commission, for the silver teen took that as a filtered form of, 'killed him'. There wasn't a need to slay the agent who was only watching over him, was it that huge of a violation that he gave Sephiroth a life without abusing his beautiful blade?
Without expression, without any senses.. that was all he was to them, wasn't he?
Unable to hold himself back one last time, he lifted his long blade and pointed it in the direction of the Headmaster. His eyes were blurring with these churning thoughts, breaths harsh as his lungs struggled to keep it together, his veins burning as if he was inside of a furnace, unable to simmer the temperature, unable to let his mind rationalize the situation.
This is what happened to all the souls he had taken in the battlefield. They begged for their lives, wept to be spared.. of this. This feeling is what they never wanted to feel, and he made them experience it. By the vile command of this rugged man. There was nothing that was going to stop him from plunging his blade into this old man, was there? It was damned time he paid for his sins.
It was time to throw the cross he forced Sephiroth to bear. Leave it to die.
And as the only being that obeyed his command, Masamune made its mark, twisting, turning. The brilliant silver of the moon's light showered in the fiery passion, in blood that was warm to the touch. What kept the body active. What his body appeared to be lacking, so frozen and almost still, save for the pathetic shuddering and shaking.
A blood-curdling cry ripped through the air, but Sephiroth let it fall upon deaf ears, shutting his eyes and plunging Masamune deeper.
.
..
…
It was then the oddity registered his mind.
That was not the howl of an old man bawling like a baby. It was not as gruff as a man of his age and form.
Had he erred? Why was the figure that he stabbed not.. hefty? Not bulky and large? When he opened his eyes, he was met with a startled gaze, none in agony. Why was the Headmaster still seated on his large velvet chair as if he was not writhing in pain by the magnificent odachi of his? Why wasn't his body draining him of the crimson that kept him so alive? Why was the bastard still given the privilege to breathe?
Moreover, why did it feel like he forced his blade into a child?
A gurgling cough sounded, followed by a spit of blood.
"My soul.. corrupted by vengeance hath endured torment to find the end of the journey." That was not the Headmaster's voice that struggled with each syllable, not when it was as familiar as the one he knew every day of his life. So small, thin yet resolute, calm and chilling, so heartfelt when those words of his cherished book were to be quoted. "In my own salvation.. and your eternal slumber."
As reality dawned upon him, Sephiroth's eyes travelled down in horror. His sword delved deep into his auburn friend's right shoulder, a perfect pierce that the boy couldn't stop, hands clutching the metal tightly. Blood poured like rivulets from the wound in a pace akin to a racer doing laps on the track field. Even do, the child resisted to cry, gnashing his teeth but unable to hold out whimpers as the blade sunk too far. His eyes were squeezed shut as blood drew down his chin.
"Ge… Genesis."
Why.. Oh why in the everliving hell was Rhapsodos here!?
Whipping his head to the side, he found Hewley darting up to them, calling their names in a panic.
Sephiroth couldn't hear, he couldn't feel, he… he almost killed one of his best friends in an attempt to kill the Headmaster, the one who allowed him to be under Vincent's care, whether he liked the man or not. The Headmaster was still the final word why he wasn't chained to his father's laboratory.
He tried to slay him, and now the blood of his friend was on his hands, dressing pale fingers in a horrible dye that burnt inches of his skin. The very same child who refused to gawk at him like an exhibit or treat him as if he didn't matter, who showed him the ropes of a normal life, on how to communicate what was inside of him, remaining dormant for so long.
Who now leaned onto Sephiroth, completely limp after struggling to unlatch the blade from his hand, crumpling to his knees. Removing the blade would cause the wound to worsen, so he left it in position, resting fragile hands on his shoulders that was beginning to shudder. His breaths were so heavy, loud and croaky like a fish on land, flopping around for water.
"Why.. why did you stand in my way?" you fool, you… you…
The boy shook his head, almost nuzzling his chest if it was an affectionate moment.
"I can't.. I promised." He rasped, falling short on words as he wheezed. Sephiroth could tell by the way his body winced, he was struggling to keep it together, resisting cries of pain that shot through him with every breath he attempted to take. His ears caught on each slip-up, eyes on the lines of blood oozing further down his chin. "I promised.."
"Promised.. who?"
He didn't earn an answer as the Student Council President Deusericus, followed with the members of the Council and the Administrative Staff darted in, hearing the commotion occurring in the Headmaster's room.
"What is going on in here?" the blond child shouted, rightfully astonished by what his eyes caught on. Sephiroth with Masamune stabbed into a student who was losing conscious and blood rapidly, and Hewley who stood there, petrified and ever so terrified, trembling in disbelief.
The silver teen couldn't imagine what was going on in the raven teen's head.
Like a punch to the face, a knife right in the back, a bullet to the head.
Why couldn't Sephiroth understand.. the blood is on his hands, and his alone.
"Angeal… I didn't.. I couldn't. I didn't want to!" Sephiroth begged to reason, wished it in him to give the boy a reason not be staring at him with those eyes. Those lost eyes.. oh goodness, why was he such a fool? How wouldn't Angeal glare with those intense eyes, unable to pretend his best friend was not dying in his arms. "Please.. understand!"
Those royal blue eyes that gleamed with the calm cool of the river, so strong and resolute as a tree, as a mountain were wide, unable to stay in place as it went from Sephiroth to his bloodied friend, then back to the silver teen. Contrary to his pleas, Sephiroth truly disdained Hewley's sense to connect the dots, his need to reason. He was trying to understand that something was very wrong—not with the fact that Sephiroth quite possibly killed his childhood friend, but that Sephiroth made a mistake while trying to kill the Headmaster.
And is struggling.
"Sephiroth.." he stuttered out, unable to do more than gape. Deusericus' gaze darted to him before trudging to Sephiroth, glaring with sharp, piercing eyes.
"Sephiroth.. what have you done?" The student was perplexed at that, and it admonished Sephiroth. He was insulting Sephiroth's lack of self-control and current overreaction, ignorant to his true goal. No way in the Planet's energy source did he want to hurt his friend for no reason—even if he did, he wouldn't. His aim was at the Headmaster, but of course, he didn't expect the son of that wretched man to understand.
To Deusericus, this was a direct offense to his family. There was no other way to take it than Sephiroth trying to deprave him of his loved one, for some reason, made a misstep and hurt one of his own.
Thankfully, the discomforting confrontation between the son of the Headmaster and he was set aside due to the two Doctors stepping in. Doctor Hollander as if he was running a marathon and Doctor Hojo who merely snickered at the scene.
"Looks like my son was doing us a favour and silencing that failure."
"Speak for yourself, Hojo. Your disobedient child almost mauled our honourable Headmaster!" the stout, bearded Doctor knelt by Rhapsodos' side, glaring at the silver teen as if he was a demon, without words commanding to step aside. "Mine's saved him!"
As Sephiroth could not make a single step back, the Doctor pressed a hand on his chest and shoved him. The force of such push removed his hand off the boy's shoulder and he lost balance. Hewley gasped as he reached for Sephiroth who soullessly fell back, completely out cold as Rhapsodos was bunched in Hollander's arms. Sephiroth's eyes darted to the ceiling, so wide and unaware of his surrounding, he truly couldn't move a muscle, barely breathing as his body's weight fell completely onto Hewley, the only one outside Rhapsodos who showed concern for his well-being.
Mr. Heidegger was immediately at the Headmaster, checking for wounds as he glared at Sephiroth as if had committed an atrocity too serious to be forgiven. The Headmaster's son adjusted his glasses.
"Hewley, please debrief this incident to me in my office." As Sephiroth could no longer focus, it was a last bit of surprise for him that Deusericus did not seem remotely disturbed by an attempt for his father's head as he was about the safety of fellow students.
His world was finally going black.
The agent in the gabardine suit was walking. As every step he took had a meaningful purpose, he continued to walk.
The little silver teenager watched him leave, tilting his head with a curious smile. He knew his caretaker worked within the Academy to maintain his position, but what kind of work, he was never too sure. Surely, being a nanny wasn't his job twenty-four/seven. He didn't mind if Sephiroth was a wee bit curious, did he? The boy tried to speak to him.
"Vincent, is everything alright?"
No response.
"Hei, umm.." how could he ask his authority… oh yes, "where are you going?"
He had the right to inquire, this man was taking care of him, his legal guardian till he reaches the age of majority. In that time, he would be free to choose and decide whatever he wanted and no longer required Vincent to sign his documents. Legal obligations aside, it was never said that Vincent could not stay with Sephiroth had he chosen such life.
Becoming 18 only meant that he had autonomy to make choices by himself.
Once again, no response. The elder just continued to grow the distance between them. Sephiroth's smile shifted to a frown, furrowing his brows and pondering the probabilities of the older male's reason for not only heading away from him, but ignoring him as well.
"Vince…?"
Could he even hear him?
He could understand if the lad was busy preparing for something important. He would try and understand if he was under pressure to respond.
He didn't want to understand or ever think that his caretaker no longer liked him.
"Vincent…?"
His eyes shot open and caught on a white ceiling. It had little pinpricks that he was unsure what use it had than protecting spiders as it was more difficult to run a shoe at them with the protruding little spikes.
Was he dreaming?
It made more sense that it was a mere projection of his mind's doubts than a reality. When Vincent left his side, it was in a moment the adult knew he wouldn't know. He wrote his goodbye, claiming that he had to investigate a matter too big to bat an eye to. It was after his eighteenth birthday that he woke to this letter on his nightstand, and Sephiroth was left to figure out what it meant for him.
Taking in his surroundings, he found himself in the infirmary of the Academy. Hewley must've taken him here, recalling the lad reaching for him after Doctor Hollander roughly wretched him away from Rhapsodos who…
Who was currently being medicated due to a wound by Sephiroth's blade.
Then it all came back to him. He was in the Headmaster's room, shaking off tears after he heard the whereabouts of his caretaker. When the Headmaster smirked, informing him that he was no longer necessary in the Academy and was dismissed without consulting Sephiroth, a dependent on him up till a couple of days ago.
He aimed to kill the bastard.
Had Rhapsodos not stand in the way, he would've succeeded.
The backside of his palm rested on his forehead, heaving a sigh. He should be furious that the foolish child stopped him from eliminating the one who had caused him nothing but trouble, yet he understood the auburn child's fear. He was protecting Sephiroth by protecting the freaking Headmaster. By keeping him from offing the sturdy older man, he saved him from a sanction he might not be able to uphold.
He would've only gotten isolation, death or worse.. a brainwash and recondition by Doctor Hojo. That would mean full custody once again.
That didn't happen yet, given he was still able to process thought, he could remember all those he had met in his life, what he has done for the past 18 years. The only thing he couldn't do was comprehend the recent events playing around him like a whiplash. Vincent leaving, to Headmaster ShinRa appearing as an accomplice to a murder case, hurting his best friend…
He regret waking up in this moment. With all that was returning to him, he was not ready to face reality.
As he lowered his gaze from the ceiling, he found Hewley fiddling with his fingers, sitting in between Sephiroth's bed and the one next to it. His eyes so unfocused as he kept fidgeting, completely unconscious that he was doing so. When the silver teen lifted his head from the soft pillow, his friend perked up. Sephiroth shifted himself to a sitting position, keeping his eyes on the white blanket that was draped over his lower body.
"Goddess, Seph, are you alright?" his tone was hushed yet urgent, so ridden with fear, it was a dump of ice water down Sephiroth. Poor guy must've been so worried about both his friends—Rhapsodos for his condition, and Sephiroth for his sanity.
"Angeal.." once again, his eyes were doing that strange mechanism. His sight was blurring as if water was filling it. His lips were unsteady as he reached out to the usually firm yet gentle friend of his. "I'm fine, you and Genesis?"
"I'm fine," he finally sniffled, and relief filled Sephiroth's form when the slightly older male took his hand and gave it a little squeeze, holding onto it as if it would provide comfort. "Gen's.. I don't even know. Doctor Hollander said that he lost a lot of blood, but transfusions could help in restoring what was lost."
"Transfusions?" he wasn't dead? Sephiroth felt the need to allow himself to breathe. Oh, thank goodness he was kind of alright.. "are we going to do that?"
"We're barely adults, Seph. I doubt that Doctor Hollander is going to make us." It was all a speculation, but he believed Hewley's words only because it was Doctor Hollander, the one he was not all too familiar with. That Doctor usually checked on the two and other students, since Doctor Hojo was his personal doctor, being his father and all..
"Fa—Doctor Hojo wouldn't care about that. He'd take blood wherever he needed it." He couldn't take the horror that etched in Hewley's beautiful blue eyes. For people who had their hearts on their sleeves, it was scratching walls to explain that Doctor Hojo had no sense of care for anything unless it was a scientific discovery. There was no capability in him to love anything that wasn't his experiments.
Even his own son.
"You know I didn't mean it…" he uttered a mumble, feeling two feet small. "I didn't want to hurt Genesis."
"I know.." Hewley gave him a wry smile, "Gen knows that too."
"What does Genesis know..?" The silver teen's brows furrowed. It wasn't as though he was upset in the boy for stepping in on this, but what did he know of Vincent and the Headmaster that he correctly pinpointed when Sephiroth was going to attack, "how did he know I was in the Headmaster's office?"
"I don't really know.. he told me nothing." At Sephiroth's inquiry, Hewley raised a brow, smile subsiding into a frown as he turned his head in the opposite direction.
Where the boy in question rested, covered in tubes and respiratory devices. If Sephiroth felt small, then Rhapsodos looked even smaller. So pale and almost dead, his hair the only shred of vibrance to him. At least his wound was covered up, if he appeared this weak, it must've been worse than what Sephiroth was used to.
How did they know he was still alive? Sephiroth couldn't sense that fire that flowed within him, only a chill that froze the infirmary to a hopeless desolation. It felt so bleak, so pointless, and yet.. if Doctor Hollander was determined to keep him alive, then the silver teen would trust in his work.
"Genesis mentioned a promise." Sephiroth mentioned in a matter-of-fact tone, his expression cross as his tone dropped lower, almost gutturally low, "just who did he promise and why?"
Surely, he wasn't loyal to the Headmaster. It was obvious Rhapsodos disliked most of the staff—perhaps all of them that were not Vincent or Veld. He had a good complaint for the rest, Sephiroth and Hewley would find themselves agreeing to. Perhaps he promised Hewley something he does not recall, or he does not want to confide.
As a friend, Sephiroth could understand, but for that to be something that almost cost the fiery boy his life? The silver teen did not appreciate being left in the dark.
"A promise?"
With the way his friend shifted his head to face him told Sephiroth he wasn't the one he made such a vow to. But… why would Genesis promise something to Vincent? Surely, they did not know each other long enough to trust each other with something he couldn't share with Hewley.
Sephiroth did believe the auburn teen would be able to extract the information he wasn't aware of, the bits of the jet-black agent's life that the silver teen had no privy to know. To what extent was what had him wondering, thinking, pondering. How much did Genesis know that he was able to thwart Sephiroth's plan to end the Headmaster's pathetic life right there?
Sephiroth feared to know.
"I don't really know of a promise, necessarily.. but I know Genesis had an awful hunch that you would be there."
Sephiroth's gaze leveled onto his, urging him to continue.
"He was running like a madman from room to room. I tried asking him what was up, but only ended up following him. He said it was something urgent he needed to do." Hewley elaborated, shifting his eyes from the silver teen, to the ceiling, and then to his sleeping friend.
"Urgent enough to leave his weapon behind?" if he had his weapon, he could've intercepted the blow.. unless he panicked.
"He can't run fast with Rapier strapped to his back, says it's still a little too heavy right now."
Taking another glance at Rhapsodos, he gave a small nod. Truly, Sephiroth forgot he didn't have the enhanced strength that Hewley had, nor did he have the experience in combat as Sephiroth did. He ran on instinct, relying on his gut to keep him up to date with everything, to battle Sephiroth in the gymnasium. It only made sense for him to leave his weapon behind.
He barely made it to the Headmaster's office with his agility. If he had Rapier, then the Headmaster would've been in a heaping pool of his own blood. Rhapsodos had to take the shot for he was too late to knock some sense into him, too late for Sephiroth to lower his blade once poised to kill.
He ran a free hand through silken tresses, grumbling. There was nothing they could've done to avoid this.
"I'm sorry about.. all this, Angeal." And he meant every word of it. There was no time in this life where he wanted to harm his new friends. Those who made his life worth truly living for, rather than merely existing in. He didn't want to lose them any time sooner.
"Don't worry, Seph. I know it's not your fault." The boy ran a hand to wipe at his face, offering a brighter smile that was wryer in nature. "Gen's just that careless.. remember the drowning incident?"
"Yeah.. he hadn't been one bit disturbed by the fact that he witnessed the revolved lanterns." Sephiroth recollected that time a couple of months ago. They were sparring for the first time when Hewley had them know about Rhapsodos' infamous near-death experience that he rolled his eyes to. Sephiroth found it strange that time how he had no regard for his life then, even now it was the same.
Stepping right in between Masamune called for death through the emergency line, and he dialed without hesitation.
"Any particular reason as to why he seems to discern himself with longevity of life? Surely, he's not actively trying to die."
If there was anyone to know about the auburn boy, it was Hewley. His grade about Rhapsodos was higher than all of his rather good grades. With a mental shrug, Sephiroth found that it should be fine to elicit information about him. The two knew more about Sephiroth than he did about them both.
Having an interest in their life stories boosts their rapport, no?
Hewley smiled with a sentiment that was unfitting to the expression. It seemed bitter in nature, "his family were not the nicest in town. In fact, my mother was more of our mother than anyone else."
Sephiroth frowned as Hewley heaved a sigh, shifting his gaze to his childhood friend.
"I'm not exactly sure what the cause was, that you should ask Genesis himself, but his parents hurt him more than once."
"Did he tell you this?"
Hewley shook his head. "At first only my Mum saw the bruising and cuts on his body, but later I even seen him when he slipped up. Y'see, he had layers of clothes to hide it."
"So when you two played in the gardens, you would roll up your sleeves, and.." Sephiroth had to make sure he took in a breath, finding himself breathless as he pressed. His friend nodded.
"Yeah. I thought he hurt himself, but he told me wasn't the kind to do that to his 'excellent figure'." While sullen, he couldn't seem to resist a snort at the end, before frowning again, "his parents never wanted me to be around the house, and he was very uncomfortable when my Mum did a couple of times with me."
"Why is that?" Surely, they were not the same as Doctor Hojo who hadn't a shred of love for his son… they should be pleased to have a pretty child who everyone had a good word about. Sephiroth was happy to feed his ego as well, tell them of a best friend their son was.
"They never wanted a child, yet they had Genesis. Maybe they wanted a girl.. he didn't misbehave with other people," Hewley ran a finger over his chin, "he didn't even bother interacting with them, to be honest. I was his first friend."
"What about your parents? You have a mother, what about a father?" it was truly new to him, this information of his friend's families. Sephiroth had to remind himself that not all children were born in rooms of white and black, with a Doctor for a father who did not hesitate to use him a guinea pig—using the biology of his to excuse all his actions.
He was a Doctor, he knew what was best for him, and his father, so he had the legal authority to decide matters for him.
"My father, I have no idea who he is, but Mum spoke very well of him. She says he has the heart of a hero, the true making of a warrior." There was a ghost of a smile on his lips, one that Sephiroth couldn't quite read. "She's wrong though."
The silver teen's eyes widened, speaking no word.
"I think she has the making of a hero. She took care of me, and even saved Genesis. She shown him how to be loved."
"Was your father killed..?" he began to hope he wasn't the one who ended the life of father Hewley. There were many faces he could not think of off the top of his head that he had to fight when in the Wutai battlegrounds. If he had the workings of a warrior, then Sephiroth would've had that face stuck to his psyche.
He was good at that, recalling memorable opponents. None of them were a Hewley.
"No idea, he could be alive for all I care. I respect him, grateful that he gave me my blade, but my Mum, she made me. She gave me honour." The raven teen's stiff figure began to relax as he spoke with him, Sephiroth found his eyes on the loosely curled fingers of the boy, earlier they were wrought in a knot, pressing into another, and now, it had recoiled, staying onto Sephiroth's.
Sephiroth felt slithers of warmth pass through his cold body at the thought of being able to elevate the stress off his friend. The poor guy must've been the most torn about it all. If he was so concerned with hurting his friends during their spars and little games they played, this was ten-fold of it. For the first time, Hewley must've felt truly helpless, watching two of his best friends nearly lose themselves.
One psychologically, and one physically. Both losses were too painful for a young 18-year-old to sit calmly to.
Even Sephiroth had guilt welling up his system when the warzone was drenched in a flood of blood. And the crimson liquid was far thicker than water, it was eventual that sprays of it would suffocate him.
"You think he's used to.. this?" he shifted the subject, pointing to Rhapsodos with a nod of his head, and Hewley let out a low growl.
"Unfortunately, yes. I didn't get to see him every day, y'know. Who knows what happened in those days." There was no ruling out the possibility that his parents had hurt him to the point of passing out—with how Rhapsodos seemed so damned cynical despite his inexperience in battle, he had an inkling of how it felt to watch life pass him by. Perhaps that was why his demeanor was so open with his two friends, smiling more, allowing them to sit beside him to the point their bodies touched.
Sephiroth thought of a time someone bumped into him, he almost burnt them. There was a time where he had to choose a partner for an assignment, and Rhapsodos immediately clung to Hewley and he, giving his "partner" such a fright, he begged the instructor to change the team arrangement.
Sure, he didn't have the mental fortitude that Hewley had, but in his own way, Rhapsodos was very caring. He knew what Hewley and Sephiroth couldn't express, where they fell in a pinch, he would step in and smoothen the corners. Sephiroth was able to think for himself due to his strange friends, because of Rhapsodos giving him the space to.
If they wanted to, he could even say that the boy did save him when he was left to die. While Sephiroth could not understand why he was forsaken in that moment by the Academy, soon he heard from his caretaker Vincent that Doctor Hojo, his father, had dismissed him—claiming that Sephiroth had been performing poorly, not to his expectations.
From Mr. Heidegger, he heard it was a mere accident. They were not informed of his dispatchment until the two students found him.
The two teens sat in silence while the nurses and their superiors stepped in to resume their work. They began refilling their apparatus, with one of them taking measurements for the silver teen. Would he be listed as one who had gone insane? Be admitted to a Court to explain his actions before they kill him for good? The silver teen did not want to have this feeling acknowledged, but he was a little afraid. If he was sent out another time, he wouldn't be able to see the one he looked up to, and his two friends who saved him from his own darkness.
Regarding the swirling questions in him, Sephiroth had to have a long talk with Rhapsodos. That kid had answers held so close to himself, so tightly secure that even Hewley had no clue.
For now, he had to wait.
