She Sees Dead People

The worried looking older man tapped his writing instrument nervously against his flimsy pad as he read the report. "How are you feeling today, Princess Leia?" he asked politely.

"Fine," Leia responded curtly. "I don't know why I'm here."

The doctor cleared his throat before answering, "General Rieekan seems to think it's a good idea that you see me."

"General Rieekan is the one that needs a psychiatrist, not me."

"Well, assaulting members of the Alliance - "

"The scruffy-looking spice trader is NOT a member of the Rebellion," Leia shouted, then lowered her voice when she saw the doctor cringe. "Solo is a free-trader. He refuses to join us."

"So that gives you the right to strike him across his face whenever you feel so inclined?"

"Ha," Leia snapped back. "He's lucky I only hit him. I'd like to shoot him with my blaster. Right where he'd actually care about being shot."

"Don't you think that's a bit, um, of a violent response to his lack of commitment?" the doctor asked carefully.

Leia jumped off the sofa, and the doctor dropped his flimsies in fear. "That's just a tiny part of his problem," Leia screeched out. "Solo does everything he can to get me all worked-up!"

"Don't you think you're a bit worked-up right now?" the doctor squeaked out. "Solo isn't even here."

"General Rieekan is in cahoots with that cad," Leia continued to rant. "Maybe Solo is his long-lost son or something."

"That seems unlikely..."

"Or Solo is paying him to make me talk to you!"

"Well," the doctor admitted reluctantly, "Solo did complain to General Rieekan... "

"I KNEW IT!"

"...that you've hit him countless times across his face..."

"He's exaggerating as usual," Leia replied frostily. "He just can't count."

"There are witnesses to these multiple events..."

"HE DESERVES IT!"

"And he did say if you don't stop the assaults, he's leaving the Rebellion for good," the doctor concluded in a rush.

"Good," Leia said, her lower lip quivering. "I hate that man."

"If you say so."

The Princess spun toward the doctor, her brown eyes narrowing. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you either hate him with a passion... or you love him with a passion."

Without warning, the Princess's hand flew out, striking the poor doctor across his face. "How dare you!"

The doctor rubbed his burning cheek, and stood up as he tried to put a safe distance between himself and the overwrought Rebel leader. "Did you ever witness your father hit your mother?"

"What type of awful question is that?" Leia shot back hotly. "My father loved my mother. He'd never hit her."

"I'm just saying, that oftentimes violent behavior is learned from an early age by watching the example of our parents."

"My father was not violent."

"What about your mother, then?"

"Never."

"But you must approve of hitting, correct?"

"I... I... never considered it," Leia admitted, suddenly ashamed. "I don't approve of physical violence. I'm sorry I hit you, Doctor."

"What about Captain Solo?"

"What about him?"

"Are you sorry for all the times you hit him, too?"

"He provokes me," Leia muttered. "On purpose."

"But you just told me you don't approve of violence," the doctor pointed out.

Leia sat down on the sofa with a thud, buried her face in her hands and gasped out, "Why can't he join? Why can't he say he'll stay?"

"You don't want him to leave."

"I might have feelings for him," Leia whispered. "But I can't."

"Why can't you?"

Looking up through tear-flecked eyelashes, Leia spluttered out, "He's a smuggler... I'm a Princess."

"Is that you talking? Or the ghosts of your aunts?"

Eyes wide, Leia asked, "How did you know?"

Confused, the doctor prodded, "Know what?"

"The ghosts of my aunts visit me every night," she said quietly, leaning forward. "They accuse me of betraying them..."

"You do know, Leia, that there are no such things as ghosts," the doctor said gently.

"Of course there are ghosts," Leia said, annoyed. "There's one standing behind you right now."

The doctor spun around and looked over his shoulder, but saw nothing. Turning back toward the Princess, he asked, "Have you considered taking medication?"

"I already do," Leia said haughtily. "I drink myself senseless every night. If that's not good medicine for what ails you, I don't know what is."

Looking at his wrist chrono, the doctor stood up. "Well, it was nice talking to you, Princess. I believe I can safely report back to General Rieekan that you won't be hitting Solo anymore, right?"

"I don't hit Solo," Leia said, standing up. "I've never hit Solo. What are you talking about?"

"Nothing... nothing at all..." the doctor said, hurrying out of the room.

The 'doctor' paced the room, shaking his head. "That's one strange woman," he muttered. "Crazy as a rabid vrleth-mouse. I'd advise you to stay away from her, Solo. You could have warned me about her temper."

"You were supposed to get her to apologize for all the times she's hit me, Seth," Han said, miffed. "But I guess getting her to admit she has feelings for me makes up for it."

"Why would you want a crazy woman to have feelings for you?" Seth, a former smuggler and new recruit for the Rebellion asked. "She sees dead people!"

"Are you sure that's what she said?" Han asked dubiously.

"Positive. And then she said she never hit you. Crazy. Crazy as a rabid vrleth-mouse."

Han stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Ghosts, huh? Well, maybe I'd better keep my distance."

"You'll be glad you did," Seth agreed.

"Solo thinks he's so smart, setting me up to see a phony doctor," Leia said with a snort. "General Rieekan would never send me a flimsy ordering me to see a psychiatrist. I could tell that was forged the second I saw it."

Luke shook his head in dismay. "But telling the guy you see ghosts? Wasn't that going too far?"

Leia smiled. "Solo will think twice before he sets me off again. He'll never get me to apologize. Never."

"Never's a long time."

"WHAT?"

"Nothing," Luke said quickly.

"See? It's working already," Leia said smugly.

THE END