CW: Christmas, grief, PTSD, chosen families
:THIRTY-FIVE:
They just stood there, staring at each other for a moment. It was too horrible - neither of them wanted it to be true.
"Well," Remus began shakily, rubbing his hands on his pants. "Maybe Dumbledore is wrong? It wouldn't be the first time he was wrong about something."
"Yes," Sirius nodded. "But until we can prove that, Harry's life is compromised. I don't think Dumbledore will hurt him without confirmation, but that doesn't guarantee anything."
"I know, I know." Remus ran his hands through his hair. "But we have to at least try, Sirius."
"What if he is, though?" Sirius looked at Remus, the same haunted look he'd worn right after his release from Azkaban. "What if our boy is a…"
But Remus shook his head dismissively, coming to sit beside Sirius.
"It doesn't matter! If he is, then we'll find a way to get it out of him and destroy it."
He looked firmly into Sirius' face, holding both of his hands. "We're not going to let Dumbledore hurt Harry, Sirius. We can figure this out just like we figured out the Chamber."
Sirius looked at him, the faintest glimmer of hope in his eyes.
"I'm just so tired, Remus." He murmured quietly, looking ashamed. "I just want us all to be free from all of this - but it just never stops."
Remus felt tears spark in his eyes as he nodded. "I know, Sirius. I know."
And they held onto each other, finally giving way to the grief and massive amounts of stress they'd accumulated over the past few weeks. Remus and Sirius had been shoving down those feelings for the sake of others, but now they came barrelling out to the forefront. Determined to be reckoned with and processed, the two men just held onto each other while their emotions rocketed around.
Only after a long cry did they both fall asleep, exhausted and curled up around each other. Maybe the world was falling apart, maybe they didn't have all the answers, but they had each other. And they would protect Harry, even if it all fell apart anyway.
They woke up, feeling a little better despite the headaches they got from dehydration. Remus handed Sirius a large glass of water, coming back to sit beside him in bed. Sitting together on the bed in the quiet morning, everything felt easier to deal with than it had the night before. Together, they decided to not mention anything to Harry or begin their research until after the holidays.
"We need a break from all of this." Remus said as they got ready for the day. "And Harry's so observant that he'd catch on if we tried to hide it."
Sirius nodded, smirking at Remus. "You're right, as always."
Remus preened under the praise, though he pretended not to. "Right. Well, let's go pick up Harry?"
"You know," Sirius mused as they walked up to the castle. "This is the second time in a row that we've picked Harry up for the winter holidays."
"Yeah, that's true." Remus acknowledged.
"Maybe we ought to make it a tradition?" Sirius smirked, throwing his head back to embrace the snowflakes falling all around them. "I love coming back here."
"You just like the idea of rattling Dumbledore at least once a year."
Sirius shrugged unapologetically. "Why can't it be both?"
Remus scoffed, putting an arm around Sirius' waist. "Let's go get Harry, shall we?"
They found Harry and his haphazardly packed belongings in the Great Hall. He raced over to them both, grinning ear to ear as he hugged them. He did this every time he saw them, no matter how short their separation had been. All three of them thrived off of touch, having gone without it for so long.
But then the moment was over, the Weasley siblings crowding all around Sirius and Remus to pester them. Fred and George were still set on learning everything they could from the 'masters in mischief'. Remus felt a little conflicted still, but Sirius adored the attention so much that he let it go. After a rather noisy breakfast, they took Harry home via side-along apparition.
"Oh," Sirius mentioned casually as they walked up to their flat. "You should know, we moved Kreacher in while you were gone."
"Kreacher?" Harry looked confused, but then amusement slowly overtook the confusion. "Hermione's going to murder you both when she finds out you've got a house elf."
But Sirius waved him off. "He's basically retired! He only cleans when he feels like it these days, and Petunia spoils him rotten."
Harry laughed, just picturing the two of them, thick as thieves and discussing cleaning materials. Only to be confronted with that exact scenario right in front of him when they opened the door. Kreacher and Petunia were sitting at the kitchen table, mugs of tea in their hands. Though Petunia had only brought out average-sized mugs, it looked positively massive in Kreacher's small hands.
"Master Sirius, Master Remus," Kreacher nodded his head at them. "And young Master Potter."
"Oh, hullo Kreacher," Harry said, looking flustered by the formality. "Just call me Harry, please."
Kreacher nodded politely, turning back to discuss the properties in bleach with Petunia.
"...Alright." Harry nodded, accepting the new reality before himself. "I'm going to go unpack now."
"Okay, kiddo." Sirius patted him on the shoulder. "We'll call you when dinner's ready."
"Oh!" Remus called after him. "We've got to pick up Dudley tomorrow!"
"Alright!" Harry called back, closing the door behind himself.
It was a very loud and very happy Christmas that year. The Weasley family made good on their promise, visiting their flat and inviting the misfit family over in turns. Dudley was incredibly weary of the twins at first, but soon fit in with Ron when it came to any topic involving food. Both of them had become foodies, though Dudley got more practice cooking in his home economics class at school.
"We don't have to cook," Ron bragged. "The kitchens just send the food up at meal times."
"But what if you don't like it?" Dudley asked, dumbstruck. "There's nothing better than making food on your own!"
Hermione also connected with Dudley, if only because she could relate to being a muggle better than Harry's other friends. She was always good about explaining things to him whenever the others got caught up in a discussion about something magical without context. Her family had decided to stay home for the holidays, so she was able to come by and visit while they were at work sometimes.
It was hard, given the clean white snow outside and the warm cheeriness inside, to imagine anything bad had ever happened in the world. So they did - the family of misfits chose to ignore the rest of the world the entire holiday season. And, when Christmas morning came, Harry presented Remus and Sirius with an incredible surprise.
It came in the innocent form of a manila folder, which by itself immediately made Remus and Sirius suspicious. Harry's too-innocent expression didn't help matters, but he refused to say anything until they opened it by themselves. There were several pages worth of paperwork, but Remus barely made it past page one before he started crying.
They were papers to change their names so they'd all be under the same last name.
"Are you sure about this, kiddo?" Sirius asked, looking at Harry with wide eyes.
Harry nodded, looking nervous as he watched both of them.
"I want us to be a proper family - I know that my parents loved me - but I want everyone to know that we're connected to each other. Aunt Petunia showed me how to file it after she had her and Dudley's names changed back to Evans."
Remus and Sirius looked at each other, then back to Harry. It was sad that they all had such negative emotions tied to their last names, but happy as well because they had found each other through it all.
"Well, kiddo," Sirius said finally. "Your timing is actually perfect."
He turned to look at Remus, pulling out a box from his bathrobe and getting to one knee.
"Remus," He began, smirking to avoid crying. "I love you so much. And I don't care if the rest of the world chooses not to accept us. I accept you - all of you. I know we're practically married already, but can we do the thing properly now?"
Remus blinked back tears, laughing at Sirius. "Of course! Of course, love!"
Harry came over to them both hesitantly, then was swooped into the two adults' arms as they curled up together on the floor. A mixture between crying, laughing, and cuddling made for the perfect Christmas morning.
They benched finding a new last name until later though, as they still had a Christmas party at the Weasleys to do later in the afternoon. Harry bundled up in all his warmest jumpers, well aware that he would be playing quidditch at Ron's house as soon as they arrived. Ron had been considering trying out for the team next year and wanted to get some practice.
Sirius and Remus announced their engagement to everyone once they'd arrived, to tumultuous applause. The twins snarked about how they expected it sooner, but their signature grins took all the venom away. They were pulled away outside soon after, leaving the adults to toast the marriage over mulled wine while their children played in the snow.
"I'm so, so happy for you both." Molly said tearfully, pulling them in for hugs at intervals throughout the day. "You both deserve to be happy."
"Thanks, Molly." Sirius grinned broadly, kissing Remus on the cheek. "We'll get planning after we get a few things sorted."
"Of course, of course." Molly smiled warmly. "Oh! I've got to get back in the kitchen, my pies should be almost done."
And she bustled away, leaving the two men alone for the first time that day.
"You mean the research, don't you?" Remus murmured into Sirius' hair, nuzzling him.
"Yeah," Sirius whispered. "I want our wedding to be the happiest day of our lives. We'll sort out these dark clouds, and then spend a whole blissful day in the sun."
"A summer wedding does sound nice." Remus agreed, smiling bashfully.
"A whole lifetime of summers for you, love." Sirius promised, kissing him by the fireplace.
Notes:
I'm sorry it took longer than usual - this just did not want to come out normally. But a whole chapter of mostly-fluff for you! I also need last name suggestions, please. My top three right now are: Foster, Marvel, or Weatherly. In other words, I need help.
Happy Reading!