A/N - I was going to say Happy New Year but...the first eight days of 2021 have been a doozey. Anyway, a new chapter to hopefully help us all with the post-holiday, pandemic, crazy January blues. And a huge thank you to Yuen Kiu Au for talking me through a bit of writer's block. xoxo - tmtcltb
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Chapter 15 - Daring to Dream
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"I'm heading over to the Howards to drop off some clothes and personal items. Do you want to come?" Andrea asked as they finished their coffee. The question casual, and yet so loaded.
Did Kara want to go visit an orphanage?
Not that they called them orphanages anymore. They were group homes. Kara could recall the arguments between President Michener and Allison Shaw on the issue, one of the few times that Kara saw Jeffrey truly passionate about a proposal - perhaps because of his obvious guilt over the deaths of his own children. Jeffrey had flat out rejected Allison's initial suggestion that up to fifty "unaccompanied minors" be housed in a college dorm with two or three dorm parents, comparing it to jail and insisting that children under sixteen needed a family environment in order to thrive. Instead, Michener established a specialized task force to address the problem, one that survived his death and Shaw's coup, the result of which was the creation of a national foster care system. Kara recalled few of the rules, except for the one that prioritized keeping children who were found together, and not merely siblings, together. A rule that Kara herself suggested with Ray Diaz and his group from Alabama in mind.
Kara bit down on her lip. Since their conversation on the Nathan James, Danny hadn't raised the topic of children again and, other than talking to Andrea, Kara had been content to backburner the issue. After all, no point in worrying about children while she was still figuring out how permanent of an addition that Danny was to her life.
Except, Alisha's voice cut into Kara's thoughts, you already know what you want. You're just afraid to admit it.
Kara scowled. Damn that girl and her ability to get into Kara's head. Because, as usual, Alisha was right. Spending so much time with Danny again made it virtually impossible to stop old plans and dreams from creeping back in. Making Kara wish that she could be that naïve girl again, the one who truly believed that, in the end, things would work out.
Still, a visit hardly committed Kara to anything. Frankly, she didn't even need to tell Danny - or anyone else - if she went to see the Howards. And if it were to come out, Kara had the perfect excuse. After all, Andrea could hardly be expected to deal with all of these boxes herself and watch Liam. The fact that Kara had never gone before, never considered going before, not until Danny raised the possibility...
She was startled when Andrea started laughing. "You should see the look on your face right now. Like an overheating engine. Anyway, at least help me load the boxes. I'm not as young as I used to be."
Kara bent down to pick up one of the boxes filled with clothing, household supplies, and dry food, making a snap decision. "Sorry, I got distracted. I would like to see the place. How often do you go anyway?"
"About once a month," Andrea replied as they lugged the first set of boxes down to the car. "Either Tex and I used to go weekly when the kids from the Alabama camp were still there. Kat got close to them, you know, while they were all on the James. But Lexi was the youngest and since she moved out we only go about once a month. Just to make sure they have enough supplies and to visit."
"Why did the Howards move from St. Louis?" Kara asked, waiting for her turn to deposit the boxes in the trunk of Andrea's SUV.
"Pretty sure they followed Ray and Colby," Andrea replied. "Ray was old enough that he was never officially in care and Colby joined the Navy about six months later. They used to stay with the Howards between enlistments to visit the younger kids. They got very close. I think Ray, in particular, reminded the Howards of their own son, who died early on."
Kara let that settle as she followed Andrea back to the house for a second load. Wondering how very difficult it would have been for the Howards to open their home to a bunch of strangers only months after losing their own child. "I'm surprised that these homes still exist. These kids would have been what? Twelve or younger when the virus hit? There were no families to take them in?"
"Most of the kids who are still in care were at summer camp or school when the virus hit hard and fast," Andrea explained. "After the dust cleared, the lucky ones had family or friends who came looking for them. But for most of them, there wasn't anyone left."
Kara recalled what Danny said about Laura being a teacher. Had she seen children that she knew orphaned? Was that what got Danny thinking about this option?
"I remember Michener putting a moratorium on adoptions," Kara noted. The decision was controversial, with so many children living informally with others. But Jeffrey felt strongly that parents should have the opportunity to look for their missing children, another decision no doubt colored by his experience with his own family. "But that was lifted after a year, wasn't it?"
Andrea was panting a bit as they lifted the last of the boxes into the trunk. "A month before the Red Rust hit, unfortunately. Bad timing. People didn't want to take in an extra mouth when they had no idea where their next meal was coming from. According to Elena, Mrs. Howard, things never really picked up again after that. Lots of reasons. Fear of what might happen next. People settling into their new lives and not wanting to make changes. Besides, the survival rate was higher for older children so about half the kids aged out of the system in the first three years."
That Kara could believe. Dropping the age to enlist in the military to seventeen had been another controversial proposal, one that Tom Chandler had been adamantly opposed to until he realized how many teenagers had nowhere to go. The military provided them with some structure, at least, and additional schooling and training. Ray was living evidence of how well the system could work. But Kara had seen the other side, kids who were too young to understand what military life involved.
"And then there was the baby boom," Kara added, more to herself than Andrea, although the other woman nodded. Whether it was due to a lack of reliable birth control or because people were feeling optimistic, the birth rate in the United States and abroad had exploded over the past three years. Even the conflict with South America seemed to have no effect on people's desire to procreate.
Andrea shut the trunk on the last of the boxes. "I'll get Liam and then we can go."
On the way to Howard House, Andrea kept up a running chatter on completely non-controversial subjects. Kara found herself smiling, and then chuckling. Andrea looked over, her face transforming from relaxed to the stern senior officer that Kara first met on the Nathan James. "What?"
"I was thinking that Tex has rubbed off on you," Kara teased. At Andrea's blank look, she added. "The chit-chat."
Andrea snorted, a smile crossing her own face. "Liam fusses up a storm when it gets too quiet. I've gotten used to talking to him."
A minute later they were pulling into the driveway of a large home in what used to be a relatively ritzy area of Jacksonville. The kind where people owned their own boats and small airplanes, as evidenced by the runway behind the house. The perfect place to house a dozen or so children.
As they excited the SUV, a tall, dark-skinned woman exited the house with a smile. "Andrea! Let me get the boys out here to help you with all of that."
"Perfect." Popping the trunk, Andrea retrieved Liam from the back and Kara followed her across the lawn. The woman, Mrs. Howard presumably, disappeared for a moment and returned with three teenage boys. "Elena, this is Kara. We work together and she helped me get all of this stuff packed up. Kara, this is Elena. She manages to keep better track of twelve children than I do of one."
Elena chuckled. "You hardly give yourself enough credit, Andrea. The first is always the hardest and most of mine are old enough to follow simple instructions. Lovely to meet you, Kara."
There was no apparent recognition in the other woman's eyes and Kara felt herself relax. Being a relatively well-known public figure had some downsides. "You as well. Ray Diaz says nothing but positive things about you and your husband."
"Ray! That child never comes to see me anymore." Elena clucked her tongue, but she was smiling. "If you see him, say hello for me. Now, Andrea, come have some ice tea while I fuss over that baby. Kara, would you like to join us? Or, if you're interested, I could arrange a tour of the house?"
Again, Kara felt herself waffling, before remembering that today was simply about information. For her. That's all. "I would love to see more of what you have built here."
Waving them inside the elegant entrance, complete with cathedral ceilings, a stunning chandelier, and a divided staircase leading up to a second-story foyer. Elena moved to the side of the door, pressing the buttons on an intercom. "Stella, could you please come downstairs?"
A moment later a young girl emerged, skipping down the stairs, her sandy braids swinging. "Hi Miss Elena."
"Hi sweetheart. Miss Kara is here visiting and she was hoping for a tour. Could you please show her around the house and then come find me and Miss Andrea in the kitchen?"
"Sure." Stella turned to Kara, smiling broadly, and held out her hand. "This way, Miss Kara."
"This is the school room," Stella explained as they entered the first room to the left. "We all go to the local school now but Mr. Bob used to be a teacher so he likes to supervise our homework. Daxson said that before the school opened again, Mr. Bob taught everyone, but I was little then so I don't remember."
"How old are you, Stella?" Kara asked, surprised by how comfortable she was with the child holding her hand, pulling her from one part of the room to another.
"I'm seven and in first grade," Stella said proudly. "I was sad leaving Delilah when I went to kindergarten, but now I can read her books. Del likes that."
"Delilah?" Kara asked, as they exited the schoolroom and moved on to the next door.
"My sister. She's three," Stella explained. "This is the playroom. We can play with anything we want but we have to pick it up after ourselves. Except for Delilah. Miss Elena still helps her."
The room was literally filled with toys. Legos taking up one wall, a dollhouse/puppet stage another. A small trampoline sat next to several very well-worn bicycles. Still, with twelve children of various ages living here, Kara imagined that all of them were used.
"What are your favorite things to play with?" Kara asked Stella.
Stella's brown eyes brightened and the child almost danced in place. "I love dressing up my doll. Her name is Amelia and we go everywhere together. New York and London and Tokyo and South Africa. We wear beautiful ball gowns and dance with princes. It's all pretend, though. You can't really wear gowns and meet princes."
Kara leaned down. "Can I tell you a secret?"
Stella was practically bouncing on her toes. "What is it?"
"I went to a ball a few weeks ago. I wore a beautiful gown and danced with a guy who I think is a prince. And it wasn't pretend at all."
"Really?" Stella gasped.
"Really," Kara confirmed. She stood back up, taking Stella's hand again. "Now, what shall we see next?"
After viewing the swingset, the small garden, multiple bathrooms, a library, a dining room that looked more like a mess with the long tables, and Stella's very pink bedroom, Kara followed her guide to what was termed "the baby's room." Entering the room, Kara could see that it was actually a suite. The room where they stood was filled with toys designed for small children, along with some gear that Kara recognized from Tex and Andrea's house, with three doors leading into what Kara guessed were bedrooms.
She glanced at Stella. "Are there many babies here?"
"No," Stella shook her head. "Just Del now. Miss Elena said that there used to be more babies but most of them went home with their families."
Kara assumed that Stella was using the term babies loosely, given that Delilah was three. But before she could ask, they were interrupted by a small child wandering into the room, dragging a blanket behind her. She was tiny, much smaller than Kara would have imagined for a three-year-old, with dark hair pulled up into two pigtails. Rubbing at her eyes, she wrapped her arms around Kara's leg. Not wanting to scare the girl, Kara stood stock still.
Stella tapped Kara's arm. "That's Del. She wants to be picked up."
"Okay." Still uncertain, Kara knelt down next to the little girl, who promptly wrapped her arms around Kara's neck and nestled into her shoulder. Standing, Kara cradled the child against her, realizing that she smelled like Liam. Like milk and soap and something so uniquely baby. Kara ran a hand down the child's back, feeling a strange sense of...rightness.
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Kara was looking at Andrea, both of them laughing at something that Tex had said, when Danny entered the tent. She watched him, half surprised that Captain Chandler had let him come back again. It was one thing when she was on the edge of death. The Captain wasn't cruel and giving Danny a chance to say goodbye was entirely in character. Now, however, Danny seemed to be doing nothing more than hanging out and occasionally getting in Rachel's way. Or Quincy's way, Kara amended, as the two men shuffled around each other awkwardly in the narrow space between the cots.
He sat down next to her after handing the cup that he was holding to Andrea. "Hey sweetheart."
"How's it going?" Kara turned to him, smiling happily, teasing him. "I'm surprised that Rachel hasn't kicked you out yet."
But Danny didn't respond to the teasing, instead reaching out to take her hand, appearing almost nervous. "There's something that I have to tell you." Danny took a deep breath, his hand clasping hers tightly, and Kara felt her happiness slipping. Surely if Kara was actually dying, Rachel would have been the one to give her the bad news. "You're pregnant. Rachel found out when she was checking your bloodwork and..."
"What?" Kara interrupted, feeling dazed. Pregnant? The thought had never ever occurred to her. They had been careful, well, mostly careful. And it wasn't that often. And... She studied Danny's face, looking for any sign that she might have misheard. "What did you say?"
Danny smiled, a chuckle slipping out at her reaction. "You're pregnant, Kara. We're going to have a baby."
Kara jerked her hands away, raising them to her face. Unable to believe what Dany was telling her. Tears blurred her eyes as she stared at him. Pregnant. She was pregnant. What... And then she was laughing. A baby. A little bit of her. A little bit of Danny. A bit of happiness in a world gone crazy. "A baby? Really?"
"Yes." Danny grinned, smiling in that way she loved. The one that never failed to melt her insides. "Rachel thinks that the baby will be immune. Because of the trial. Assuming..."
And just like that, Kara's joy dissolved. Her hand dropping to her stomach as she realized what she had done.
She had volunteered for this trial.
She had been injected with the virus.
She had most likely killed her own baby.
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Kara suddenly realized that Stella was standing there, tapping her toes. She glanced down at the toddler filling her arms. "What now?"
"We need to let Miss Elena know that Del is awake so she doesn't get worried," Stella explained.
"Lead on," Kara replied, following Stella as she led them through a hall and down the stairs to a large kitchen where Andrea and Elena sat drinking ice tea.
"Del's awake!" Stella cheerfully announced but, when Kara went to pass Delilah over to Elena, the child snuggled into Kara's neck with a whimper.
Elena smiled, appearing oblivious to Kara's discomfort. "You must be comfortable, I think she fell back asleep. Have a seat. Deliliah must be getting heavy." She turned to Stella. "You go find Miss Stephie. Say goodbye to Miss Andrea and Miss Kara."
Stella's smile turned to a pout as she turned to Kara. "When will you come back?"
"Next month," Andrea replied without a moment's hesitation, and Kara wondered if she was being played by a seven-year-old.
Still, she couldn't resist those eyes. "I'll come back soon. You can tell me about where you and Amelia went the next time I see you."
Elena waited until Stella was gone before turning to Kara. "That's kind of you. Stella and Delilah are the youngest children here and I think they struggle a bit, always being around teenage boys."
"Stella mentioned that Delilah is only three?" Kara said, not really knowing what to ask, but Elena seemed to understand.
"The girls' mother arrived here right before the Red Rust hit. Stella was four and Delilah just a newborn. Mom had cancer and was looking for someone to take in the girls once she passed. Our doctor managed to extend her life but she died about a year ago. No word on their dad, or even if they have the same one." Elena sighed. Then she looked directly at Kara. "I hope that I'm not speaking out of turn here, but I couldn't help but recognize you, Captain Foster."
Biting back a groan, Kara straightened. "That does seem to happen from time to time."
Andrea laughed. "Nothing to worry about, Kara. Elena was simply wondering whether you would be interested in hosting a fundraiser for Florida's Orphaned Children Fund. Apparently funds are low and..."
"And having a name like yours would give us a lot of publicity," Elena finished. "Andrea has already committed to attending with Tex."
In other words, the publicity for the fundraiser would focus on the presence of three of the Vaccine Six.
So much for keeping this visit quiet.
"Of course." Kara glanced at Andrea. "Perhaps we could get Rick and Russ to attend as well. Rick won't be a problem. Think you can convince Russ?"
Sitting back in her chair, Andrea nodded firmly. "Leave it to me." She turned to Elena. "Let us know when and where, and I think you just got your special guests."