A/N: This one is a bit of a change of pace from the others. No smut, no flirting, just…some drama. A little. Only a tiny bit. : )

Day 13: "Santa's not the only one who wants to shimmy down your chimney tonight."

The Bakers', three streets north, four houses away from the main road. They were the talk of the town all week for their spectacular Christmas light display. And the first thing Zed says upon seeing it—and the elaborate chimney and Santa show made entirely of lights—is, "Santa's not the only one who wants to shimmy down your chimney tonight."

It's insanely funny but also hella inappropriate, mostly because there are tons of kids around (maybe they won't get the innuendo, but that'll only prompt them to ask what it means). And also a couple of people hear him, and while most have the good sense to ignore, some throw them judgmental looks.

It's one thing to stick out in the crowd. Being the only one with snow-white hair accompanied by your zombie boyfriend does that. But making sex jokes. In Seabrook?!

Zed's still laughing at his own lame joke when they get back to his dad's house. He's quiet now, because his dad and sister are sleeping already, and they have to be silent so not to wake them.

They get to his room and lock the door. Zed starts changing into his pajamas while Addison heads over to his desk for no reason other than wanting to pout a little more.

"I thought it was funny," he says as he pulls on a pair of pajama pants.

She glances at him, then gives him the stink eye. "You think farts are funny."

Zed cracks a grin despite his offended gasp. "You do too!"

"I don't think sex jokes are!" she cries. Quietly. They may be arguing, but she has respect for Zevon's house. "And I don't like other people knowing what we're doing! What if they tell my parents? Or Bucky?"

"Your parents know we have sex, Addy. They gave us that super awkward talk."

She fights the urge to roll her eyes. Zed pulls on a tee-shirt, then crosses the room and kneels next to her.

"And who cares what Bucky thinks? Or what anyone thinks!"

"I don't like people talking about me."

"Let them talk if they wanna."

"That's when they're talking shit about a human and a zombie dating," she points out. "You don't get it. You're a guy."

"What does that mean?"

"It's not funny because people who know we're having sex talk so much shit."

"They're just jealous—"

Addison ignores him. "Oh, Zed's a stud," she says, her voice high and mocking. "Oh, I heard from Braden he's got a huge dick. I'd love to tap that." She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. "Oh, Addison is a huge slut. She's probably slept with everyone in Zombietown. I bet the whole wolf den's had a piece of that ass. The whole football team's probably run a train on her."

For the first time all night, Zed doesn't say anything.

Good, she thinks. She always hates thinking about all the stupid shit she's overheard, the rumors Bree and Willa warn her about, all of it. It's honestly so exhausting having to deal with, so insanely dehumanizing, and right now Zed isn't making it any better.

"I just think our private life should be private," she mumbles tiredly.

Again, Zed doesn't respond for a while. Not until she looks over at him and sees his shocked face.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers. "I didn't know it was so bad. I-I mean. It's not like I didn't know. But I swear, anytime I heard someone talk about you like that, I always stopped it. But—Shit, I'm so sorry. That's…it's awful. Really."

His words bring her some comfort. They never talked about those things—all the rumors and gossip and shit talk about them—so she never knew how he dealt with it. But the image of him overhearing some idiot jock in the locker room and going off on them makes her feel a lot better.

"People are…terrible," she concludes.

"Yeah."

"You don't like…brag or anything? Right?"

"Only with Bonzo, and only rarely. It's more like 'my girlfriend is better.' You know."

She nods.

Zed stands up, then pulls her to her feet too. "Hey, I'll save all the lame personal sex jokes for when it's just you and me. I promise."

"And beat up people who call me a slut?"

Zed chuckles a little. "That'll probably get me kicked out of school. But I'm sure we can find a much better way to intimidate those good for nothing, lowlife assholes into submission."

Addison smiles softly. She leans into his chest, whispering, "Thanks."

Minutes later, once they're all cuddled up in bed, Addison asks, "What did it even mean?"

"Oh. It was a blowjob joke. Chimney being your throat."

"I think that's your worst sex joke yet."

"Meanie."

(But she does give him a pretty killer blowjob in the morning.)

A/N: Gosh, the next parts of the gala series and "in the house" are killing me (LOL). But we're working...we're gonna get through this. Oh and no we're officially passed the halfway Mark between Day 1 and Christmas!