Travelling the villages in the land of rice had brought me troubling information so far.

One, I was in a universe where I either did not exist, or the Orochimaru here did not possess knowledge of a previous life.

Two, it was public knowledge that Sarutobi was the current Hokage. Somehow, In this universe, Minato had died along with Kushina. It brought back flashes of memories where I had stopped Minato from tampering with any seals that required the shinigami's assistance. It was obvious he hadn't had my interference this time.

Three, The land of rain was still in existence, but borders were closed. I could safely assume Hanzo had been killed and whoever was in charge now did not want anyone to know who he or she was.

Four, and this is something that truly irks me. Jiraiya was well known, and unfortunately popular. His smut novels had almost zero competition without my novels making rounds in different villages. Everyone was so deprived here that they believed Jiraiya was something like a love genius. Idiots. Not to mention he was known as a fuinjutsu master with his atrocious seals. The man had never had an intrinsic understanding of the art like I had, and it only proves that my counterpart was even worse.

It's been twelve years since the kyuubi attack, so either Naruto was twelve right now or as dead as his parents. Which left Kurama's whereabouts almost unknown, besides being in Konoha of course.

If I wanted to find my way back to my own dimension, I'd need to find a way to speak to the bijuu again. If my shoddy memory of the dreadful shinigami attack was right, then the people that had been surrounding Minato and I had been the jinchuuriki.

They would have needed their combined chakra to assist in shoving me into another dimension to save me.

Which brought me back to my current circumstances. I wasn't entirely sure about what to do. I didn't have any information on the seal used to bring me here, nor did I have a way to strengthen my own soul to fight the shinigami on equal grounds to earn my place back in my own dimension. If I went on another reviving spree, it would only bring the shinigami of this realm to my attention. So I could not revive this Minato to question him.

Though with enough experimentation, I should be able recreate the seal myself. For now, I left hiraishin seals in places I've been and continued my travels out of rice country towards the land of fire.

I made a pit stop at the capital to get my own romance novels published just to spite Jiraiya first and get a source of stable income.

Yaoi was a genre unheard of before I started making it, I could safely assume it would be the same here. I even published Sai's manga version of my novels. Those had sold like hot cakes to the younger female audiences in the elemental nations after all.

I did have to take my names off the author section and create my own alias though.

"Just a bisexual man, looking for a good lay and some easy cash" I muttered under my breath as I strolled through Tanzaku Gai.

A few civilians who heard that did a double take as I went by. I ignored them and followed the familiar chakra of my old team mate.

Tsunade had always been something of a friend to me since we were young. We shared the same sensei for years, and even went on shopping sprees together.

I doubt that my counterpart had such a relationship with her, but I wanted to see how she would react to my presence. It would certainly give me direct information about who I am in this dimension.

This plan isn't something done on a whim, simply because I felt her chakra in my proximity. It was more of a lucky break. I could break multiple birds with one stone.

First off, I can discover why Tsunade wasn't in Konoha. Second, I can learn more about this dimension, and third I can learn about myself.

My mannerisms and goals, and everything in-between. I also haven't seen the woman in years. I wouldn't mind speaking with her once again, despite her being a Tsunade born in another dimension.

How much of a difference could there be?

I stepped into a well known gambling establishment and followed her signature to the back where she was winning a high stakes game of Texas holdem.

Ah, I used to love that game back on earth. Perhaps I should try..no. I was broke right now.

Instead I went to stand beside her and curiously looked over her pair of aces with a small lift of my lips. How amusing, her luck seems the same as ever in this world.

"Orochimaru." She spat as she tossed down her cards and began picking up her winnings. I stepped back and deactivated my disguise seal since she seemed to have recognized me from my chakra alone. It's what I expected, but the vehemence was new.

Tsunade stood, and seemingly towered over me with her anger, despite being half a foot shorter. She blinked when she looked me over again and looked vaguely disgusted. "What have you done?"

I glanced down at my youthful body and slightly shrugged. Perhaps my counterpart never figured out immortality. My body was a Hashirama cell body, made to live for hundreds of years. Theoretically, I should look to be in my twenties for fifty years, give or take a decade.

"I suppose you would be interested to know, Tsunade-hime." I murmured carefully, using the old nickname from when we were children.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes at my body before scoffing and stomping past me, shoving my shoulder as she went. I followed after her with a pleased smile, ignoring the fearful whispers of the people around us. I looked down at her outfit and raised an eyebrow at the plain green haori over a pale pink tunic.

My Tsunade at least had a modicum of style. Though I didn't help the spark of fondness I felt as she angrily slammed the door to her hotel room in my face.

Some things didn't change, even within an entirely different dimension.

I knocked politely and waited as Tsunade seemed to fume behind the door. I could still feel her chakra, but sound seemed to be blocked by basic privacy seals. I felt her chakra darting around the room and hummed when she finally came to the door and opened it once more with a scowl on her pretty features.

"What do you want."

"An ally." I responded with a soft smile.

Tsunade froze and seemed to contemplate something before moving from the door to let me in. I nodded and walked in silently, quickly looking around the room. One large bed, a mirror, a bathroom, a television, and a small open window showing the view of the civilians below. I noticed with a hint of amusement that the room had been cleaned in a rush.

I went over to the counter and filled the waiting tea pot with water in the sink beside the counter. Tsunade closed the door as I put the pot over the electric element burner and plugged the contraption into the wall.

As I waited for the water to boil, I took a couple tea bags available in the small basket by the burner and plopped them into the pot.

When I turned I saw Tsunade seated at the round table by the window with her head on her hand. She watched me with undisguised hostility.

So far I'd reamed quite a bit of information.

In this dimension, my counterpart had done something so atrociously evil, that I'd been made a traitor of the leaf. Whatever it was, had deeply hurt Tsunade, but not to the point where reconciliation was out of the question.

So it seemed obvious that I had been friends with Tsunade in some form of the word. I was glad my counterpart wasn't so different to not make friends with teammates he'd known since he was six. A bond had been made that couldn't be severed so easily, even in the face of defection.

By the fact that she easily accepted that I was now younger, I seem to have been known as a scientist in this dimension as well. Though without the memories of a previous life, I cannot imagine my counterpart had gone very far in the profession.

"So what, now that you got your immortality bullshit over with you finally going to turn over a new leaf? After everything you've done?" Tsunade snarked as I settled down in the seat across from her.

"I suppose it was too much to ask." I agreed easily. Not that I knew exactly what I'd done.

"How many kids did you experiment on to get that fancy new body huh?"

"I assure you, this body did not require such sacrifices." I hummed thoughtfully.

From that I could assume my counterpart had been scouted by Danzo, and convinced to go through with the unethical Mokuton experiments.

Sixty civilian children dead.

Surely he must have known there was no chance for that shoddy experiment to work? Unless he had taken Danzo's word about the experiments being fully authorized and endorsed by Sarutobi-sensei. I suppose that Konoha propaganda nonsense had actually worked on my counterpart then.

Don't ask questions and do as ordered.

We kill for the good of Konoha.

Questioning your Hokage is treason.

I hadn't believed a word of that nonsense. There was such a thing as free will, and freedom of speech, and I wasn't going to let some silly army village change that.

"What do you want from me then? You've got your immortality. Isn't that everything you've ever wanted?" Tsunade grunted. I glanced at her for a moment, reading from her tone and posture how low her self confidence really was. The woman clearly didn't think she had any worth.

"I am searching for a way to strengthen my soul."

Tsunade scoffed. "Impossible, what your asking is something only the Uzumaki were capable of doing. And you can't steal techniques from the dead."

I forced down my surprise with a thoughtful hum. The Uzumaki were dead? That's quite..horrifying actually. Who would be stupid enough to even attempt an attack against Uzushio?

"Even so, I still need those techniques." I said calmly.

"Tch, well I can't help you there. I'm barely a fourth Uzumaki, my bloods too diluted to get past the blood seals surrounding the dump."

"Of course, A full Uzumaki would be preferable, but a half would work just as well." I hummed as I stood slowly to get us the tea.

A plan finally began to form in my mind as I poured the tea into the cups available.

I did know of a full Uzumaki that wouldn't have been killed. Nagato, he called himself. He had been the leader of Akatsuki, and had possessed the infamous Rinnegan. The man had fancied himself a god until Naruto converted him and his little world domination crew into the bijuu religion. I hadn't spoken much with the man, but he had become fast friends with Naruto.

"Let me guess, you want me to go to Konoha and kidnap Kushina's kid?" Tsunade barked out a laugh. "If you think I'd betray Konoha and steal their jinchuuriki, you've got another thing coming Orochimaru."

I rolled my eyes as I turned and set the teas on the table before taking my seat. "Don't be ridiculous, I don't need Naruto for anything. Konoha can keep their little bijuu for all I care." For now at least.

Tsunade visibly relaxed as she leaned back in the chair and looked down at her tea grumpily. She then dumped the tea out the window and pulled a bottle out from between her breasts.

I visibly swallowed at the sight.

Her breasts seemed to be... a lot bigger somehow? Had she done something to enhance them in this dimension? Those are beyond ridiculous.

It wasn't like I was suddenly attracted to her or anything. I certainly wasn't. Not when I knew what was hiding behind that deceptive little seal on her forehead. It's just that, those breasts were...disproportionately huge.

Tsunade coughed awkwardly.

I quickly tore my gaze away from her breasts and felt my face redden against my will. "Apologies, Tsunade-Hime... my new body is a lot younger than before and... it has come with some unfortunate...complications." I said honestly. This body truly did have a higher libido than my original one. I had been lucky in finding Minato when I did, but now that luck was working against me.

I had gotten used to being sexually satisfied everyday. And with Minato a whole dimension away, it was clear to me that I wouldn't be getting anything remotely close to satisfaction anytime soon. Not if I wanted to cheat on my husband.

And I didn't.

Cheating was bad.

I needed to stop thinking about it.

"Right. Go sit on the bed, I'll give you a quick check up to make sure you didn't screw something up with your stupid experiments."

I wanted to protest and refuse. I truly didn't need it, not when I was a certified medic myself. However...it was clear to me that my counterpart wasn't. My Tsunade would have never forced a medical check up on me, since she'd known I was perfectly capable of looking after myself.

I scowled slightly and went to the bed to sit.

Tsunade smiled fondly for a moment before wiping the expression off her face to run a glowing hand over my body meticulously.

"Did you also change the face of the body to look girlier?" Tsunade asked as her glowing hand reached my neck. I fluttered my eyes open and looked up at her with a smirk.

"This is how I truly look, Hime." I replied smugly. And it was true. If my counterpart seemed manlier, it was probably due to a different training focus. Or perhaps he was born with a few extra genes from mothers side of the tree? Maybe he got facial surgery to look manlier?

There were plenty of reasons. And I'd probably never know the answer. It wasn't like I could go up to the other Orochimaru and ask why he looked like a man. That seemed like something Naru would say, and I didn't feel like taking any personality pages from his book.

"That can't be right. Your skin is a lighter shade, your chin is thinner, and your clan markings are less prominent." Tsunade grumbled as she noted the differences.

"Perhaps this body received more from my fathers genes at the infant stage." I shrugged noncommittally. I did look a lot like my father after all, with my mothers colouring.

"Infant stage? You cloned yourself? Scientifically?" Tsunade blinked curiously as she ran her hand down my back.

"Of course, I do most of my projects scientifically." I said with a hint of snark. Tsunade snorted before she brought her palm to my abdomen and paused.

"Oh."

"Excuse me?" That didn't sound good.

"You uh..you seem to have an unnaturally loose rectum." She toned.

I froze.

"You mind explaining that one? Oro?" Tsunade hummed with a raised eyebrow as she straightened and looked down at me like disappointed mother. I couldn't even appreciate the fact that she was using my nickname with how embarrassed I was.

"I frequently...participate in..." I looked away as I remembered the long delicious hours of amazing chakra sex from my wedding night.

I was glad the Shinigami had at least been polite enough not to attempt to murder me while I was busy like that.

"Gay sex?" Tsunade guessed. She didn't even need to see my nod before she snorted. "I knew it. No really! I swear I saw you checking Jiraiya out on more than one occasion!"

I made a face and she burst out laughing immediately.

"Be serious Hime." I grumbled sourly.

Tsunade was slow to smother her giggles. I scowled at her. I was sorely tempted to hiss in defence.

"Fine, fine. You're perfectly healthy, you seem to have looked after yourself properly for once." She grinned with approval as she put a delicate hand on her hip.

"You could at least trust me with that much." I huffed as I flipped my pony tail behind my back and went to refill my cup.

I spent the next few days 'catching up' with Tsunade. During that time I had explained Danzo's involvement behind my counterparts actions and accepted an apology on his behalf.

I'd also received as much knowledge about this dimension as I could and helped her win a fortune every night at the gambling den.

After being caught up on this worlds happenings, I said my good byes and went on my way to Konoha in my disguise.

I discovered that my counterpart had been thoroughly duped by the village and cast out as a scape goat. It was quite the pathetic story, but it didn't really affect me all that much.

I wasn't him, and he wasn't me.

This wasn't my world, and anything that happened here truly had nothing to do with me. Considering I now had a plan to get back.

First I needed to find Nagato, and either force him, or convince him to come with me to Uzushio to open the seals.

Then I needed to search their libraries and learn what I can about soul strengthening. I then needed to recreate the dimensional seal and gather the jinchuuriki to help me get back to where I came from.

Easy.

It's as simple as that.

I didn't have any other way to get back, so this way had to work.

I just needed to believe it.