A/N: This is the chapter I had in mind when I first started this story. Ronnie writes a book based on her experiences, with a big focus on John's role in her life. In this chapter, she gives John the book and he reads the dedication and the preface, both of which I've written out here.

I might write out the book too. I'd probably do it as a separate story, chapter by chapter, but I haven't completely decided yet. I don't have any other ideas at the moment, so if anyone has any requests (Kayla, Evy, Savannah, or any other type of story), I'll consider it. I've also been considering finishing some of my other stories that are incomplete (Sky Blue Winchester, The Plague of Time and Space, etc.). We'll just have to see.

Epilogue

Twelve Years Later

"Please welcome Veronica Winchester, who will be saying a few words in Gil's memory."

Ronnie stood and made her way to the front. She was still in shock and wondered what she could possibly say that would be good enough for Gil. He'd died five days earlier, and Ronnie had spent the last four going over and over what to say. She'd stayed out of school, feeling unprepared for this, but she decided to do what Lisa had advised her to do. Speak from the heart.

The small podium felt huge as she looked out into the audience. There were a few people Ronnie recognized as other kids that Gil had helped during his long tenure as a social worker. Gil's wife had died years earlier, and Ronnie didn't recognize any other family members. Guess us kids were his family.

"Um, it's been a long week for me." Ronnie began.

Ronnie looked down where she had just been sitting. Her father smiled at her and nodded his head, the best encouragement she could get. The years were wearing her father down. When the two of them had first become a family, John's hair had been raven black with a few spots of gray dotting them. Now, it was snow white and thinning out. His beard was white as well, and he'd long ago given up shaving it. Ronnie joked often that she hadn't believed in Santa as a kid, so she'd gotten him as a dad when she was older. Ronnie took a breath and pushed on.

Dean and Lisa were also in the audience. Dean was the typical big brother, and Lisa was one of her best friends. When Ronnie had gone on her first official date at the age of sixteen, Lisa had helped her dress for the date, finding her a dress and doing her hair and makeup that night. Dean had invited Ronnie's date into the kitchen, along with John, to share a few 'words' with her date. Ronnie had pretended to be embarrassed, but she loved Dean's response and knew that Dean would always be there for her. It had been Dean she called when her friends were drinking at a party at seventeen, Dean she called when she got caught shoplifting at fifteen, and Dean she called when she just needed to get a guy's perspective on something and didn't want to go to John.

Ben was away at college. His teenage years had sent his parents and grandfather on a roller coaster ride. Ben had gone so far as to run away at age fifteen, railing against what he saw as his parents 'unfair rules'. After a two day search for Ben, in which Ben refused to come home unless he was given 'more freedom, Ronnie had asked to 'speak to Ben alone'. She had only spoken a few words, choosing to let her fist do most of the talking with a swift hit to Ben's nose.

"You little ungrateful shit. You will never make your mother cry like that on purpose again. You have not just one, but two parents that have loved you and cared for you from day one. Some kids have no one. Some kids have parents that would beat the crap out of them before they'd even look at them. You're gonna go in there, give your mom a hug, and apologize until you're groveling if that's what it takes. And if you don't, then you'll come here and live with me and your grandpa, and I'll make you appreciate them. Got it?"

Much to the surprise of Lisa, Dean, and John, Ben never had any major problems again.

For three months after she'd moved back in with John, the feeling of insecurity took over again, and she did everything she could think of to get him to kick her out. She talked back constantly. She ignored curfew. She picked fights with Ben. She refused to do her chores. Every time she did, John responded. Ronnie wrote lines, ran laps, went to bed without dinner, even got put in time out and spanked for it a few times, but before and after every single punishment was over, Ronnie was embraced and told the words she'd longed to hear someone say and mean her entire life.

"I love you."

Ronnie noticed her father mouthing the words I love you to her. It gave her what she needed and she continued on.

"I met Gil for the first time when I was six years old. I was this skinny little kid that was scared to death of everyone. Gil came to the hospital and sat with me for three days straight. He made the doctors keep me there until I talked. He sat next to my bed and told me stupid jokes. For three days. I told him later that I only laughed to make him go away."

The audience laughed, and some of the former foster kids were nodding their heads in agreement.

"But seriously. I can't say Gil was a great guy. That's not enough for him. He was phenomenal. He never had kids of his own, but he saved so many of us. I can't count the number of times I called him crying in the middle of the night and he just showed up. No questions, no nothing. Every time I had to move, he was right there. He'd check on me every week, even when my foster family didn't want him to. He made sure I was fed and clothed and made sure I knew that…" Ronnie choked, and she had to take a drink of the water on the podium before she continued. "He made sure I knew that I was worth something. That somebody cared. And he didn't give up. It's because of him I got the best gift I've ever gotten. My dad."

Ronnie dared a look over to her father, who was barely containing his emotion. Ronnie told a few more short stories about her time with Gil, then dismissed herself. Gil was buried, and Ronnie followed her father home.

There were a few pictures of Gil up in her father's house. The one she was staring at after dinner was her college graduation photo. Ronnie had received a Bachelor's degree in English and was an English teacher at a high school three towns away. Gil had told her many times since she graduated that she was his pride and joy. She was one of only two of his foster kids to graduate from college. Ronnie jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. John handed her a can of beer from the refrigerator.

"Sorry. You look like you could use this."

"Thanks." Ronnie took the can and took a sip before turning and taking a seat on the couch. "I miss him."

"I know. He loved you."

"I still feel guilty."

"Guilty? For what?"

"Well, I hadn't talked to him much the last couple of years." Ronnie explained.

John smiled. "You have no reason to feel guilty. He was so stinkin' proud of you he could barely stand it. He bragged on you at our poker games more than I did."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"I want to go back to what I did in school." Ronnie said. "At least for a while."

"What do you mean?"

"Work during the week and come home for the weekends. That okay with you?"

"You know better than to ask. Of course it's okay." John said. "Just don't let that stop you from living your life, okay?"

"I wouldn't have a life without you or him." Ronnie answered. "But okay. I promise."

"You going back to school Monday?"

"Yeah. I am. I, um, have something to give you too. Stay here for a second."

Ronnie left and went out to her car, coming back inside with a small cardboard box in her hand.

"What's this? A present for me?"

"Yep. For all of us, actually." Ronnie said. "The first thing I need to show you is this."

"What is it?"

"First thing I need to know is this. Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do." John said.

"Then I need you to sign this."

"What is it?"

"Just sign it, please. I'll show you what's in the box if you just sign it."

"Fine. Give me a pen, then." John quickly scribbled his signature on the bottom of the page where Ronnie indicated. "Alright, show me already."

"Okay. Here." Ronnie handed John a letter that was hidden in the bottom of the box.

Clarkson and Jackson Publishers

Ms. Winchester,

Upon review of your manuscript, we have approved it for publication. There are a few waivers enclosed that need to be signed by the family members mentioned in your book, but once those are signed and turned in, we will begin the process of releasing your book for fall publication.

Congratulations on joining the Clarkson and Jackson family of authors.

Yours truly,

Arthur Clarkson

James Jackson

"You…you wrote a book?"

"Yep. I did." Ronnie said.

"And it's being published?"

"Yep. That paper you just signed? It was your waiver."

"Waiver?"

"I needed it signed since I use your real name in the book. It is okay, right? It's not too late to change your mind."

"What's it about?" John asked.

"Pull it out and find out. That's one of two advance copies."

"Oh, wow. Kiddo, I'm so proud of you!" John pulled Ronnie into a tight, suffocating hug.

"No chick flick moments. Not yet anyway. Pull it out and read the first page."

On the cover of the book was a picture of Ronnie. The title was Gentle Toughness: a Story of Tragedy, Life, Love, Kindness, and Family by Veronica Winchester. John stared at the cover, overwhelmed for a moment with pride, before Ronnie reached over and opened the book to the first page.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to three people.

First, my mom Lily. I still miss you every single day.

Second, my friend Gil. You took care of me at a time when I didn't recognize that's what you were doing. I love you, friend.

Finally, to my dad. You taught me what a real parent is, and you taught me the meaning of home. Love you always, Daddy. I'll always be your Ronnie.

"Aw, kiddo. You're making me cry again. Twice in one day is more than enough."

"Why don't we try for a third strike?" Ronnie asked. "Turn the page."

Preface

I named this book for the man that would eventually become my dad.

I was a sad, angry, lonely teenager the day we first met. I had just turned thirteen. I had been forced to leave my twenty-seventh foster home. I had been in a few good homes, but most of them I wanted to forget. In those homes, I'd been yelled at, screamed at, beaten, starved, and just generally treated like trash. I didn't know the meaning of a good parent. I was just trying to get one day to another in one relative piece.

The first time I saw John Winchester, I put on an act. I pretended to not be afraid of him, but I was terrified. He was six feet tall, sturdy, and a scary looking Marine type that could intimidate you just by looking at you. I was a five-foot-tall girl, seventy pounds soaking wet. He terrified me, but I couldn't let him know that.

"You were afraid of me?" John asked sadly.

"For a minute or two." Ronnie said with a smile. "Keep reading."

Over time, my dad taught me something that I've never forgotten. My foster parents to that point had been one of two extremes. Either they were great but not able to keep me, like the first foster family I ever had, or they were too harsh, like the foster dad that beat me into a coma at seven years old. My dad taught me that it was possible to be both. I messed up with him. Lord, did I ever mess up with him. And while he was tough with me, correcting me every time I misbehaved, he always loved me with a fierceness that made me feel safe and secure. That feeling has never left me since.

The last page of this book contains a list of resources for anyone that needs them to call. On the chance that anyone reading this book has suffered from abuse and/or neglect, I hope this book will be a source of peace and comfort for you. Know that you are not alone, and other people do understand. If you are reading this book and are suffering through these things right now, call one of the numbers I mentioned or call 911. Please don't suffer in silence. There is always someone out there able and willing to help.

"Damn it."

"What, Dad? Don't you like it?" Ronnie asked.

"Like it? Kiddo…"

"Listen. You saved my life. Seriously, if you hadn't taken me in, I don't think I would've made it. I just wanted to make sure you knew that. Okay?"

"Get over here." John embraced Ronnie again. "You've given me much more than I've ever given you. But thank you. This means a lot."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. I'm hungry. Let's go raid Dean's fridge for once."

"Not that sounds like a plan. Let's go."