Chapter 13 - Soulmate

Marco remembered getting into bed late, well after his wife was already asleep. Entering their dream he found that he was standing at the edge of a dark forest. The night sky was cool and damp, much like their bedroom when a window was left open during a rainstorm. In the distance he saw a simple yurt and his mid-50ish wife sitting on the ground in front of a roaring outdoor fire. With just a few dream steps he was next to her.

"Hey hun. Sorry those calls went long but I think everybody now knows. Everyone I spoke to wanted to talk about how much they are going to miss him and wanted to send you their love." Marco sat down next to Star and put an arm around her.

Her eyes were focused on the fire and listening to the occasional pop and crack of the heated wood. Eventually she acknowledged him. "Did you see this?" Star was suddenly holding a handwritten letter tightly in her fist. She raised it slightly but did not hand it over.

Marco shook his head. "No, is that a memory or…"

"No, it is a real letter. I was reading it before going to sleep. I thought you might have seen it next to me on the bed. It is from dad. He wrote it the day I traveled to Earth that first time but never gave it to me. *sniff* It was at the bottom of a box. I found it while going through his things tonight." Star said this with a blank expression as if she had been crying to the point where she had become numb to it.

Marco leaned into Star so they could be closer.

She took a deep breath. "You were right about my dad Marco. Mom was all set to send me to St. Olga's Reform School. All the plans were made. Mom was going to send me there for a full year. After St. O's I would have a year to practice magic at the castle. Then...then if I had no suitors by 16 she was going to set up an arranged marriage for me. Evidently she was already getting that process started before I left. Dad didn't say too whom but I assume they would have tried to set it up with Tom's parents. Evidently she had my life all planned out. All of it. Totally all of it. And I had no idea. None."

Marco had tried to give a supportive smile as she talked but his mouth dropped once he heard 'arranged marriage'. "Whhaa?"

She sniffled. "Yup. His letter talks about how much he loved me. He loved my energy. The crazy, hyper, no fear child that I was…*sniff*...he loved who I was." The tears started back up. "...he loved me…he didn't want to see who I was killed."

Leaning into her husband she completely let go. He tried to just support her but soon they both had tears that were mixing together on their faces and clothing.

It was a long time before the husband and wife regained their composure. When they did she was holding his hand tight. "So...yeah, he ended up turning to Glossaryk of all creatures for help. He says that he offered him anything and everything with the hope that the little blue guy would help me find my soulmate and that I would live happily ever after. And they made a deal, somehow they both agreed that I needed to grow up...unbroken. He talks about how he begged and begged that I end up happy. He doesn't say in the letter any details of the deal other than he had sworn not to tell anyone about it until I was married. *sniff* Glossaryk told him that it would not be a straight path. He told dad that I needed to go to Earth…*sniff*...he showed the path, the path that would lead me to you. *sniff*."

Her head was now on her husband's shoulder. "He couldn't tell mom why he wanted me to go to Earth because of his promise so he spent hours and hours and hours arguing with mom that going to Earth would be best for me. She was dead set against it but...but he convinced her. I was to be banished to Earth instead. He said it was the first time he ever completely changed her mind on anything, the first time he fully stood up to her and would not back down. Anyways, I don't think he ever told mom...even after we were married. Never told anyone, he just wrote it in this letter that he never gave me. And now he is gone so I can't even talk to him about it. I can't thank him."

After a pause Marco squeezed her hand. "Honey, I'm so glad he loved you. So glad that he would fight for you like that. The world without us as us...I don't even want to imagine that world. Never."

"Marco, should I be pissed at mom or incredibly happy I had him? I mean how could she have planned all that for her child? Her 14 year old? That would have killed me. Totally killed me. How could she think that would be best for..." Star let out a sigh, suddenly all the jigsaw pieces in her mind came together to form a clear picture. "No. She wasn't thinking about me, she was only thinking about the future of the kingdom."

They both turned to the fire as the damp log made a loud popping sound as it burned. Watching the flames dance on the wood they thought about the chaos of the flames, the chaos in the world. If that one decision had been made differently all those years ago worlds could be on fire. Or they could both have lived dark separate lives, never knowing that the other existed, forever aching to know the warmth of a flame.

Finally Star turned to him and kissed his damp salty cheek. "I'm so glad I have you."

Marco continued looking into the flames. "What surprises me is...well, we've always talked about being meant for each other. That once again confirms it. The most all knowing being in all dimensions saw that there was no better combination for us then us. This is the best...the best us we could ever hope for. Never better."

Star looked at him slightly stunned. "You say that like it is a bad thing? Like this is the best and it still sucks." She was getting ready to push him away. "Now is not the time for mid-life-crisis-Marco to show up again!"

"No hun! No, I didn't mean it like that. I'm happy with us. I mean I'm not happy every day, you are not happy every day, but it is like even when everything is a perfect match it is not always perfect every minute of every day. It just makes me think it is never perfect all the time for...for anyone." He watched her eyes and could see the light of the flames reflecting in them. He thought that she still might push him away and was surprised that she didn't.

"Alright, I know what you mean but that was an awful way to put it when I'm feeling upset. When I'm feeling insecure. Kingdom or not my mother was ready to get me married off! Assigned me a husband because maybe she thought I was so wild that no one would love me. Marco, my mom must have seriously thought no one would love me! She thought I couldn't be anything more then another Butterfly in the long line of Butterfly princesses and queens! Didn't matter who I was or how I felt, I just needed to pop out the next generation of princesses and keep the throne warm for the next generation to take over." Feeling more angry then before she finally did push him over.

Marco stood up, cleaned off his pants, and then moved over so he was sitting a few feet away. Once he was settled he looked back into Star's eyes, the fire now danced in them as if she had embraced the rage of the uncontrolled flame. Taking a deep breath he tried to think of how best to bring her back from the chaos in her head. "Star, I don't know if this is going to help you feel better but...in the end she didn't. She listened to your dad. It must have been hard for him but he got through and she listened. He wouldn't have put this on paper, knowing that you might one day read it, just so you could be mad at your mother. Maybe he wanted you to learn from this. Maybe it is to show that your mom did love you being you, she just needed your father to help her get past her royal duties. She was always putting the kingdom first. She gave up everything when she lost her mom at 14. She gave it all to the kingdom."

With an angry face Star stood up and tossed a log on the fire. Then a second. Then a third. "He said not to be mad at her so...so you are probably right. But I'm still mad. I'm angry and upset and...and I miss them. I miss my dad. I miss my mom. I miss...I miss so many people now. I want to talk to them and I hate this getting old crap. I hate losing the people that I love and who love me." She threw one last piece of wood down into the center of the flames as hard as she could. It created a cloud of sparks that spread out across the sky in all directions.

Marco watched as the flames danced across the trees surrounding them. Kneeling down, Star wrapping his arms around her husband for a long tight hug. "Don't let anything happen to you. Nothing. Nothing at all. I need my soulmate. I need you. I need you. I need you. I'm sorry that life is not perfect for us all the time. But I would never-never want to live in a world where we are not us. We have made us so much better."

He simply nodded.

She squeezed even hard. "What I also hate is that I'm a grown adult, I have done so much, and yet I still get upset by decisions my parents made forty years ago. Even now it still hurts me, it's like that little kid is still in me, she still needs her parent's love."

He put his hands against her arms to make sure she could not let go. With that they sat together gazing at the now burning forest. The noise of the flames and popping damp wood was loud. However they were not scared, they just sat in the center of the fire until their sad dream ended and they awoke.