A/N: Thank you so so so much for your kind words! Shoutout to Twin68! I'm so glad you love this story! It makes me so happy to hear your take on the story! More things are coming so get ready :)

Disclaimer:
All recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. I do not make money from this.

Chapter 17: Lessons

"Holy Toledo," Charlie jumped back at he took in my appearance. His coffee swished in his cup with the movement.

"Thanks, Dad." I grumbled and moved towards the stairs.

"Uh, what the hell happened? I thought you were going out with Leah and Phoenix?" he asked, his eyes still bugging as he looked me up and down. "You never called."

Oh fuck. How the hell do I even explain this? I walk in, my hair a mess, raccoon eyes, and wearing giant ass clothes with a pair of heels in my hands.

"Um, I saw Jacob," I muttered quietly.

"What was that?" he asked and held his hand behind his ear.

"I saw Jacob," I said louder. "Seriously Dad. It's time for that hearing aid," I mumbled and continued to the stairs.

"Whoa, hold on there," he said as he stuck his arm out in front of me. "I'll forget you said that. What do you mean you saw Jacob?"

I rubbed my face. I needed another shower or a nap or, I don't know, I minute to process my life.

"He was at the club and I went home with him," I told him bluntly. I know what it sounded it like and it was technically the truth. He didn't need to hear the other shit.

His eyes bugged out and his cheeks turned pink. "Oh, uh. Isn't he with Leah? I didn't know you guys were…" he gestured with his hands in a weird way.

"Oh please don't do that," I groaned. "Leah only said that to piss me off. And it's not what you think. We just talked."

He raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, right. You're both grown adults. You don't expect me to believe that."

"Oh my god," I moaned into my hands. "Dad, believe whatever you want, but I'm being honest here."

"Mhmm. Well next time tell him not to bring you home looking like that. I swear Bella he didn't even try to hide it. This is full on walk of shame," he gestured to my figure.

I frowned and placed my hands on my hips. "Hey. A woman has the right to do whatever she wants with her body. She shouldn't be shamed for having sex. I'm not saying that's what we did, but still. We sorted through a lot of shit and it took a toll."

He held up his hands in surrender. "Alright. Fine. I believe you. But if you come back home wearing his clothes again I won't hesitate to shoot him," he shrugged.

"Good luck with that," I grumbled under my breath and stomped up the stairs.

/

I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling.

I was freshly showered, hair brushed, face clean, and in my own clothes. Despite all of that, I felt less like myself than ever before.

Jacob's words and explanations swirled around my head. I was still conflicted. Conflicted because Jacob supposedly went on his sexcapades to prove a point to his wolf while also proving to me that he could move on. He needed control and that was his solution. I couldn't stomach it. It made me sick thinking of all those women he preyed on just to fulfill his agenda. He didn't care about those women. He probably didn't even know most of their names. Whether he was mentally stable or not, that was his solution to his problem. I didn't know how to process that. Did I feel bad for him or for those women? If I felt bad for those women, who were all willing to have sex with him, I would be disregarding his pain and torture. His depression and darkness. If I felt bad for him, I was disregarding those women and their right for respect. They had every right to sleep with him. That was their decision and I couldn't be upset about that. But, it was upsetting to know the true intentions on his end. It made me uncomfortable to think about the things he would tell them to get them into bed. He disrespected them. Treated them like sexual objects. He knew he could have them. Whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

It did help to know he didn't physically abuse women or take advantage in the way that scared the living daylights out of me. It was a good and bad thing. Good because he at least had some morals. Bad because he was well enough in his head to differentiate. Meaning he was coherent enough to take advantage in other ways. He fully knew what he was doing. That was perhaps the most frightening thing about sexual assault and predators. They're calculated acts. They're planned. Thought out. They've been executed time and time again. Without a thought of the good and bad behind it. Without a thought of the lives they were ruining. I couldn't let myself believe that Jacob wasn't fully unaware of his actions. For him to still have his morals, that was a sign to me he was still there enough to know. That coherency frightened me. But that man I saw in the bar and the man that I spent the night with, they were two very different beings.

I couldn't make my decision just yet. I needed some time. That's what I told him. I needed time.

After his long spiel about loving me and wanting to spend every moment with me, I would be lying if I said I didn't want that. No matter how sick and twisted he was, a part of me would always love Jacob. Even after I witnessed him attacking Phoenix. He painted the picture that I yearned for. I had spent so much time alone without my Jacob. Without my best friend. Without that boy that I loved so dearly. A part of me clung to that all these years. That maybe somehow we could work it out. I would come back and he would want to try that. But I had fully believed he would never want anything to do with me after he saw all the damage that had been done. It would make him sick if he knew. He wouldn't want me if he knew what really happened. I spent so many years convincing myself of that, I couldn't just let that go. He may want me right now, but he doesn't know the full story.

And there was another aspect I was worried about facing. I was leaving in a week. I had no intention to stay here. At least that was the plan. Now, I had no idea what the fuck I was going to do. I couldn't stay here. I wouldn't. My women needed me. They would never understand. If I stayed I would be staying for the very reason I ran. I would be staying for this supernatural life I fought so hard to forget. I fought so hard to gain my normal human life back. And here I was, battling against the tide, neck deep in a world I shouldn't have a part in. I couldn't stay. I was running out of time. If I leave again, there's no telling what would happen to Jacob. Or the pack. He was better, but he wasn't out of the woods. He could very easily slip back into his old ways. He could fall down the dark path again all because of my decisions. I had to choose, yet again, to either be selfish and run, or face the life that has forever changed me. But, even if I ran, that decision wasn't selfish. I would be returning to my women. My women who needed me. My team who needed me. The team I missed. The team that built me up. It would be selfish to choose the life they worked so hard to help me heal from. But, they never knew the whole story. They could never know the whole story. I was caught in the middle. Whatever I decided, someone would always end up with the short end of the stick.

/

"Bella."

Something shook me.

"Bella!" they hissed and shook my again.

I cracked my eyes open. I had dozed off in my bed.

"Hmm?" I groaned and rolled onto my back.

"Wake up," they whispered.

I opened my eyes again and they adjusted to the light of dusk in my room.

Leah was sitting at my side, concern etched on her face.

I sat up groggily. "Leah," I yawned and stretched my back. "What's up?"

"Bella," her face crumpled and she gathered me tight in an embrace. She squeezed the living daylights out of me as she quietly sobbed in my ear.

I rubbed her back softly

"What's wrong?" I mumbled, my voice still thick with sleep.

"Bella," she sniffled. "I'm so sorry," she squeaked. "I wasn't watching your back. I let my fucking guard down and I put you in danger."

Oh shit. So much was swirling around in my brain I could only process so much at one time.

"Leah," I sighed. "It's not your fault. Please don't blame yourself. The club was crazy. There's no way you could have known."

"Bella, I should have been watching you. I shouldn't have encouraged you to go off with that guy. I honestly didn't think that kind of thing happened so often," she breathed brokenly. "I would have never let you out of my sight."

I pulled back to look her in the eye. Her pointed features twisted in sadness. "Leah Clearwater, you listen to me. You can't blame yourself. You have to understand something, the only people to blame are the predators. You cannot blame yourself for letting me have fun. These things happen a lot. A lot more often than I think most people are aware of. But never, ever blame anyone except the predator. If you keep focusing on all the things you should have done differently, you will just make yourself sick."

She sniffled. "But you're pack. I was responsible for you. You're an imprint. I feel like all I keep doing is fucking you up more and more and I just feel so horrible. I can't help it."

I brushed the loose strands of hair out of her eyes. "Leah, you have been the best possible friend to me. You are always there even when I don't ask you to be. You can't focus on the past. Shit happens. You can't protect me from everything. The pack can't protect me from everything. But the fact that you try is enough for me. I'm not upset with you. I can't imagine not having you as my friend."

She continued to sob quietly. "I don't deserve you. The pack doesn't deserve you. All you've done is try to help us. You go along with Phoenix's shit just so she can be happy. Even after I yelled at you in the store. Even after Jacob was an ass to you because of me. Even after all this time, years later. You put your life aside to help us. God, Bella. You don't deserve the shit that's thrown at you."

I smiled softly. "Leah, I'm okay. I promise. I'm a lot more resilient than you think," I smirked and nudged her shoulder.

She giggled through her tears. "Yeah. Who would've guessed?"

I laughed with her. "So don't beat yourself up, please? I'm okay."

She nodded and wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. "Okay. God, after Jacob showed us what happened, I expected to find you a lot differently. He really rang my ass about not protecting you," she shook her head.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "He did?"

She nodded. "Yeah, he showed the whole pack. He was pissed."

"When did he do that?"

She took a deep breath. "Uh, like an hour ago. I came straight from the meeting."

"Can you call another meeting?"

She straightened up, her sadness was quickly replaced with seriousness. "Yes. Come on," she grabbed my hand and led me out of my room.

/

The faces of the pack sat in front of me. The guys and Leah were all sprawled out on the damp grass in Jacob's backyard. They all had looks of sadness and guilt on their faces.

Jacob stood off to the side, a stoic mask on his face, his hands clasped behind his back. Full alpha mode.

They all watched me as I paced back and forth in front of them.

"So," I sighed and came to a stop, finally gathering my thoughts. "Who knows why I called this meeting?"

Leah raised her hand.

"Besides Leah," I muttered.

She lowered her hand and the rest of the pack just stared at me.

"I had no idea an imprint could call a meeting," Quil whispered to Embry.

"No whispering," I scolded and he quickly straightened up, shutting his mouth. I had forgiven him for the Bella Crocker comment, but he still chose to be a nut.

I took a deep breath. "I called this meeting because your alpha showed you something that happened to me, correct?"

They all nodded.

"Alright. And it has come to my attention that your alpha made you feel as though your sister is to blame," I said and shot a glare to Jacob who returned my gaze evenly. He gave me nothing.

"I want to say that one, Leah is not to blame for this incident."

"Yes she is," Jacob barked out in his deep alpha voice.

"Zip it, Alpha," I hissed. He narrowed his eyes at me but said nothing more.

The pack started to snicker quietly.

"As I was saying, and please no one else interrupt me," I said, digging into Jacob just a bit more. "There is only one person who should be blamed for such an incident. Who can tell me who that is?"

Quil raised his hand.

"Yes, Quil."

"You?"

Paul whacked him on the back of the head and Jacob growled lowly.

"Hey, none of that," I snapped at them. "He gave me a valid answer. But it was not the correct one. You see, the victim can be an easy target. Me, for example. I shouldn't have dressed the way I did. I shouldn't have gone off without Leah. I should have trusted my instinct. I should have fill in the blank."

They all nodded in understanding.

"And I could easily blame myself for those things. Leah blames herself for what happened to me," I said and looked at Jacob again. Still stoic.

Leah had her head lowered and absently played with a blade of grass.

I sighed. "She isn't to blame either. Let's look at the circumstances. We were at a club. What is a club like? Give me some examples."

"Loud!"

"Crowded!"

"Hot!"

"Bright!"

I nodded. "Exactly. The visual and physical stimulation is overwhelming. It's overwhelming for a human with weak senses. Imagine how it feels for a wolf."

They all nodded and mumbled at that.

"And what do we typically go to a club for?"

"To dance!"

"Have fun!"

"Get laid!"

Another smack to the head.

I laughed at that. "Yes. Those are all good answers. But, let's clarify. Getting laid implies that it is consensual. It is something two or more people agree upon, yes?"

They all nodded and snickered at the mention of multiple sexual participants.

I grinned and continued. "Alright. So we go to the club to have fun, maybe have a few drinks, listen to music, dance, etcetera. However, we should always be aware of our surroundings. Regardless of our intentions, things can go wrong very quickly."

They all looked at me somberly.

"For example, Leah saw me go off with a man. He seemed friendly enough. He pulled me onto the dancefloor and far away from my group. I was in a vulnerable position. However, I was there to have fun. So, I danced with him. Maybe a little too much and he got the wrong idea. He put his hands under my dress."

I was met with a chorus of growls, the loudest coming from Jacob.

"Yes, but luckily I knew how to fight back. I was able to inflict enough damage to stop him from pursuing further. I got away. However, due to the overwhelming stimulation, I got lost. I ended up on the wrong side of the club. So, I had to find my way back to Leah. However, I was intercepted by the predator. He was sitting at the bar and I wasn't paying attention. He grabbed my wrist and held me in such a way that made it nearly impossible to fight back. He was a lot stronger than me. In my opinion, it was something he did often."

The pack started to shift and shake in their seats. Jacob shuffled in his standing position trying to hide his discomfort.

"And so he overpowered me. He pushed me back to the opposite side of the club in a darkened corner. He led me to a back exit that was hidden from the main area. Like I said, it was something he has done before. And he," I swallowed. "He pinned me to the ground, held a knife to my throat," I clenched my eyes.

I took a deep breath, my hands started to shake. Nausea rolled in my stomach.

I was enveloped in his warmth. He wrapped his arms around my body.

"Shh," he crooned. "You're safe. You're safe," he chanted quietly in my ear.

I breathed in his scent. The tension eased off my body, my anxieties melted away at his touch.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and clung onto him.

"Don't apologize," he breathed and pressed a warm kiss to my hair.

I patted his back and he pulled back to look at me, nothing but concern on his face.

"Bella, you don't have to do this," he frowned, his eyes scanning my face.

I swallowed. "I'm okay."

He nodded and turned me back to face the pack. Their faces were filled with worry and pain.

Jacob stood behind me, his hands firmly at my waist. His comfort kept me solid and grounded.

I took another deep breath.

"I want to share what happened on my end because I need you all to know what it means when women go through something like this. It's incredibly traumatic. It can break the strongest of people. I want to emphasize that the people you blame in these situations are the predators. These acts are calculated. Executed many times to perfection. He physically overpowered me. He took me to a place where no one would find us. It was so incredibly scary, my body shut down. I lost consciousness. It's a common thing that occurs in these situations. It's our body's natural way to protect the psyche. I have no memory of anything that happened after that."

Paul raised his hand.

"Yes, Paul."

"Um, would you want to know?" he asked warily.

I clenched my jaw and Jacobs arms circled around my waist.

I nodded.

Paul cleared his throat. "So, uh, basically the dude didn't get to the end goal. Jacob got there just before he," he swallowed. "And you weren't conscious when he found you. He got him off of you. He beat the dude to death."

I tensed in his arms and leaned my head back to look at him. He was staring off into the trees.

"You killed him?" I whispered.

He swallowed thickly and nodded once.

"He showed us the amount of rage he felt. Bella, any one of us would have done the same thing," Embry muttered.

"That dude can't hurt anymore women. A guy like that doesn't deserve life," Paul said through gritted teeth.

I sniffled. I wasn't sure when I started to cry.

"Many predators who are taken to court either get a slap on the wrist or walk free. And many who haven't been caught will continue to attack innocent people for their own sick desires," I squeaked through a tight throat. "As much as I wish you didn't have to kill a human for me, I feel better knowing he can no longer do to women what he did to me. You're probably saving more lives than you took," I sniffled.

Jacob suddenly pulled me tighter against him and buried his face in my neck. I could feel his chest heaving softly behind me.

I twisted in his arms and turned him around so his back was facing the pack.

I took his face in my hands. His eyes were filled with tears, the mask of the alpha has crumbled.