Megamind and Roxanne, both in holographic disguises, were having coffee and doughnuts at one of the blue hero's favorite bakeries. He had decided, after seeing Roxanne become increasingly restless in recent days, that she needed a change of scenery, and had announced after training that morning that he was taking her out.

"It won't be much of a date," he'd said apologetically, "Unfortunately we don't have much time to spare. But you need to get out of the Lair for a little while. And Ares is unlikely to target somewhere that close to Central Precinct on a whim, especially in broad daylight. As long as we're in-cog-nitto, we should be safe enough for a short outing."

"Incognito," she'd smiled. "And you know I never say no to Dani's Donuts!"

"Only a crazy person would," he'd assured her mirthfully.

They were sitting at one of the little cafe tables inside, near the back corner, well away from the large windows. Megamind had positioned his chair so that he could see all of the other customers despite the fact that two brainbots, both with newly-installed invisibility shields, were keeping watch just outside.

It was nice to do something so incredibly normal again, chuckling and chatting in a bakeshop over lattes and sweets. Roxanne was on her second cafe mocha and enjoying what had to be the best chocolate eclair in Metro City. Megamind was on doughnut number eight— he'd ordered one of nearly everything, two of his favorite raspberry jelly doughnuts— and was busily describing a hilarious mishap with a super adhesive he'd invented years before. It was a safe enough subject as he'd sold the patent once he'd tweaked the compound, and anyone who happened to overhear would assume he worked for a chemical manufacturer.

"...And then it exploded. Of course, what do I do? Without thinking, I start to run toward the lab table to stop anything else from going wrong. I take two steps. Exactly two. You can guess why! So, there I was, boots permanently affixed to the floor. There was nothing to do but untie them and accept them as a casualty of science, but I certainly didn't want to walk across the mess barefoot— can you imagine?!— so I got the bright idea to sit down in my office chair and wheel it really fast across to the door before it could stick!"

"Wait, but didn't you…?"

"Yes. The beaker of the final product," he leaned closer for emphasis. "In the seat of the chair." He laughed along with her. "Do you know that moment when you realize you've left your keys in the car just as the door slams? Yeah. This was exactly like that. Only worse. I was balanced on one leg, trying to untie the remaining boot without touching my bare foot to the floor, and I just sort of fell back into the seat! The moment I did, I knew I'd made a terrible mistake. But I was completely committed by then— stuck if you will— so I went forward with Operation Maybe if I Wheel It Fast Enough Today Won't Get Any Worse!"

Roxanne coughed on her latte as she laughed.

"I pushed off as hard as I could from the desk, sailed across the room, and SPLAT! Right into the wall two feet left of the door! So now I'm glued to a chair that's glued to a wall in a secret lab nobody knows about, and all I can think is: Oh, God, I'm going to be in one of those Darwin Awards books!" He glanced around quickly and leaned close again, lowering his voice. "Thank heavens for brainbots! They had to cut all my clothes off of me and lift me out of the chair!" He laughed again. "Just a naked blue man soaring through the air! Nothing to see here!"

"Shhh!" she hissed, patting the air with one hand, but she giggled while she did it. "Why would you be blue?"

He didn't miss a beat. "Have you ever been in an abandoned warehouse? It was freezing in there!" he chortled. His phone rang, Heavy Metal is the Law blaring.

"Ugh, Simmons, please don't let this be a call to duty," Megamind said before he answered. "Ollo?"

Megamind deactivated his disguise before he exited the invisible car, and motioned for Roxanne to do the same.

"I doubt Ares will decide to voluntarily visit police headquarters," he explained, "and the holowatches are not really public knowledge. I'd like to keep it that way."

She nodded, turning her own holographic image off before following him through the dim parking garage and into the precinct doors. Several officers greeted Megamind cordially, Officer Hanesley among them, although Roxanne noticed veiled suspicion still lingering in a couple of pairs of eyes. They passed through an office where detectives worked at cubicles.

"Hey, Defender!" one of them called. "You got time to help with a missing person?"

"What can I do?" Megamind turned toward a man in his late thirties with tired eyes and two days worth of stubble on his chin.

"Fourteen-year-old kid, last seen at the King Pin Bowling Alley with a couple of friends. Never made it home. Parents just went through a nasty divorce, and they're worried he's run away. If he did, he did a real good job getting lost. We can't find a single lead."

The hero nodded. "Send over all of the information, Detective Tully. I'll get the brainbots on it right away."

"Thanks, Blue," the man clapped Megamind on the shoulder. "You know how mean these streets can be. Hey, we never see you at the Tuesday night dinners. We're at my place this time, and you haven't lived til you've had Farida's Chicken Bastilla. You two want to stop by?"

Roxanne hid a smile. Her heart felt like it was filling with warm air until it might float. A year ago, her lover had been reviled by the entire city; it was good to see him surrounded by camaraderie and acceptance.

"I'll try," Megamind was saying, "but I can't make any promises. The case I'm on now is demanding most of my time."

"One of those. I feel you."

"Indeed. If we don't make it this time, let me know when the next one is, and I'll be delighted to join you."

"Sure thing, Blue! I'll try to save you some Chicken Bastilla if you don't make it, but don't hold me to it!" the detective patted his stomach.

Police Chief Simmons was pacing his office when they entered.

"I've got some bad news, Blue," he said as soon as Megamind closed the door behind him. "You know, of course, that Nelson is wanted in a lot of different states. Well, I've just been informed that this is a federal case, and we've been saddled with an FBI agent."

Megamind frowned. "That doesn't need to be a problem. I'm certainly willing to work with this federal agent as well, and if that helps us catch Ares faster, it can only be a good thing."

"I keep forgetting you're pretty new to this," Simmons rubbed a big hand across his face. "Feds can be… territorial, and this guy is a dick even by the usual standard; not exactly cooperative. He barely tolerates my officers, and he's made his opinions about what he calls 'interfering civilians' pretty clear."

"Has he indeed?" Megamind casually sipped his coffee.

"He's going to cause problems, Blue. He's already demanding that you be taken off the case, and since it's been deemed a federal matter, he can do it."

"I'm certain he'll try."

"I don't think you understand—"

"With all due respect, Simmons, I ran circles around every officer and agent they could throw at me for twenty years. It took a hero with literal superpowers to match me."

Simmons opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted as a perfunctory knock on the door was followed by it swinging open. A tall, thin man in his early forties, dressed in a dark blue suit, strode in like he owned the place. He had a bearing that spoke of military service and authority. Roxanne didn't need to see a badge to know that this must be the fed in question.

A second later Simmons confirmed her suspicions. "Agent Rickard," he said blandly. "I'm in the middle of a meeting."

Rickard was staring daggers at Megamind. "Oh, good, the circus has come to town."

"Ooh, really?!" Megamind beamed. If Roxanne hadn't known him so well, she would have thought he was sincere. "I love the circus! What's your favorite part? Is it the clowns? I'll bet it's the clowns."

Rickard turned to Simmons. "What is that?" he asked, pointing back at Megamind.

Megamind lifted an incredulous eyebrow as the agent looked back to him, then glanced down at the disposable cup in his hand. "It's called a latte," he explained. "They sell them at the cafe down the road if you're interested."

"I know what a damn latte is!"

"I fail to see what the point in asking about it, then."

"Because I wasn't asking about the coffee!" Rickard growled.

"Oh, a guessing game!" Megamind grinned. "I haven't played one of those in ages! Let's see..." he looked down, taking stock of his appearance. "These are called clothes," he explained, gesturing at his shirt. "And this is a watch. Let me know when I'm getting warmer!"

"Cute," Rickard scowled. "Really cute."

"Do you like it? I made it myself! Have I won the game?"

"What are you talking about?!"

"Okay, I'll keep going! This is called a belt!"

Rickard looked at Simmons, his expression eloquent with bewildered fury. "Is he fucking serious right now?"

"Oh, no, no one but Roxanne," the hero in question threw an arm around his lover's shoulders. "And not at the moment."

Roxanne hid her smile, simultaneously amused and impressed when she realized what her brilliant blue boyfriend was doing. Eager to play her part, she jumped in. "Oooh! Megamind! I think he's giving us a hint!" She turned toward the agent. "You're talking about what's below his belt, right? That's his pride and my joy!"

That did it. "You fuck that thing?!"

"Oh, I know," Roxanne cooed sweetly. "It really is huge, isn't it? And between you and me—"

"I do not need—"

"It's even bigger than it looks—"

"To hear about his alien dick!"

"But he's so good at using it that I never have any trouble."

"STOP!"

"I'm sorry," Roxanne gave him a look of pure, innocent contrition. "Am I making you feel inadequate?"

Rickard glared at them both. "Do you know who I am?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"I'm afraid not," answered Megamind blithely. "No idea."

Movements jerky with anger, Richard pulled open his suit jacket to show his badge. "That's who I am!" he snapped.

Leaning in closer for a better look, Megamind pretended to study the words stamped on the badge for a moment before looking up.

"It's very nice to meet you, Mr. F'bee Ah-gint!" he said.

"Do you realize I could arrest you?!"

Roxanne turned toward Megamind with a bemused look. "Could he really, Darling?"

Megamind put on a thoughtful expression. "No, Dear, we're only talking. There's no law against talking."

"This is fucking ridiculous!" the Fed threw up his hands.

"Ridiculous?" asked Roxanne tartly, recognizing her cue. "No. Do you want to know what's really ridiculous, Agent Rickard? The idea that today, in the year 2011, with all of the strict anti-discrimination policies in place throughout government agencies— including yours— you still walk in here and call the Defender of this city a thing just because he happens to look different from you! That's fucking ridiculous!"

Rickard stopped dead, nostrils flaring, but there was tension around his eyes.

"I mean, just imagine the complete shit-storm if that got into the media!" Roxanne continued.

"That is true," Megamind rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "And I happen to know there are no fewer than two hidden security cameras in this room. It would certainly be headline-making news in this city! FBI Agent Disciplined Following Racist Remarks Against City's Defender. I may be a thing to you," he added to Agent Rickard. "But to most of the people in the city I now protect, I am a person and I am a hero. Public opinion is firmly in my favor."

Rickard seemed to be recovering quickly. "I guess nobody had better tell the media, then!" he snarled.

"Oh, it's too late for that, I'm afraid," Megamind grinned. "Agent Rickard, I'd like you to meet Miss Roxanne Ritchi, star reporter for KMCP News."

"Nice to meet you," Roxanne stuck out her hand.

Rickard didn't take it. "Fuck!" he nearly shouted, eyes boggling. "That was NOT a command!" he added frantically as Megamind shrugged and reached for Roxanne. He returned his attention to Simmons, who had gone board-stiff in an effort to keep a straight face. "You! You knew! You knew and you didn't warn me!"

Simmon's voice was admirably calm as he said: "you didn't give me a chance. The video will bear that out."

"I'm confiscating that footage!"

"In connection with what crime?" asked Megamind.

"In connection with— with— Shit!"

"Indeed," Megamind said, coolly amused. "Luckily for you, I am not a thing. I am not an inferior creature, ruled by instinct. While I can hold a grudge with the best of them, I am capable of controlling such base impulses— especially when I have far more pressing matters to worry about, such as catching an assassin. So, if you can agree to a few minor things, I see no reason why we can't civilly work together toward our common goal."

"Blackmail?! Really?!"

"No, no, no… Hero, remember?" Megamind gestured to himself. "Blackmail entails extortion, and I am not asking for money or political favors… I only want you to work with me, not against me, and to remember three simple things while you do," he held up a black-gloved finger. "One, I am a person, not a thing, and I demand to be treated as such," another finger joined the first. "Two, I am the Defender of Metrocity— you know, the reason why crime rates here remain famously low?— so I don't fall into the hierarchy of law enforcement. That means you do not get to pull rank on me." He lifted another finger. "Three, I have an IQ of 372, a huge intelligence network, and a personal knowledge of Eric Nelson, also known as Ares. In fact, I am closer to catching him than anyone ever has been since his first arrest. You ignore my insight at your own peril."

"And you'll make sure the footage disappears?"

"No one who has not already witnessed the incident in this room will ever even know it happened."

Rickard glared at him. "Alright. I admit it. 'Thing' was a shitty thing to say and I shouldn't have said it. But let's make something clear: I may have to let you work on this one, but I don't have to like you. I don't have to like letting an egomaniac in a leotard screw around with my cases, and I don't have to like having a loose cannon on my hands. So, you're on the case. I won't block you, but I'm not your buddy either. You stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours."

"You're right," Megamind shrugged. "You don't have to like me. You don't even have to agree with me. But you do need to work with me. I can help you—"

"Just stay the fuck out of my way!" Rickard repeated with a growl, and, pushing past to the door, he stormed out.

They waited until his footsteps faded down the hall before Megamind closed the door again.

"And that, Simmons," he said with a bow and a flourish, "is how you do it."

"Blue," Simmons was chuckling and shaking his head helplessly. "When this case is over, I owe you both a drink. Hell, I owe each of you a whole damn bottle!"

Megamind laughed. "I'm going to remember that," he warned with good humor.

"A shame he wouldn't agree to work with you, though."

"I didn't really expect him to. That was just basic diplomacy: take two steps forward and one step back. I got what I wanted, but he thinks we each won a point, which will make him less likely to directly undermine me for the sake of his injured pride."

"Rickard will shit bricks if he ever finds out there are no security cameras in here."

"Actually…" with dramatic flair, Megamind pressed in the hour stem on his watch, and the new invisibility shields dropped from two brainbots. "Ta-da! I always have a backup plan, and a backup plan for my backup plan!"

"Damn, Blue, that's– Wait, you don't film all our conversations, do you?"

"Of course not! You I trust, but judging by your voice on the phone, I surmised something was wrong."

"Well, I've got to admit I'm glad you did!"

"Do you want me to make you a second copy of the footage?"

"You're making a copy?" Simmons was instantly serious. "You notice something I didn't, Blue? Think we're going to need something to hold over him?"

"Oh, no, no, I just want a copy for posterity!" Megamind turned toward Roxanne. "'His pride and my joy!' Brilliant!" he laughed. "You realize, Miss Ritchi, that you are never going to live that down?"

She thought about the way Megamind had once been driven to bitterness, despair, and finally villainy by unfair biases and ostracization. She considered the way he had once felt like he and Minion stood alone against the world. Compared with that his plan for dealing with Rickard— positive, constructive, even humorous— was testament to how much his emotional state had improved, and a part of the reason, she realized with shocked delight, was because she stood with him, accepting him, supporting him. Minion was a faithful friend, but when you got down to it, he was just as alien and just as much an outsider as Megamind himself. All Megamind had ever really needed was someone who represented the local populace– someone ordinary and human– to see the good man beneath all the black leather and bravado. It struck her that her openness about their intimacy had been a reminder that there would always be someone other than his henchfish who was unashamed to be on his side.

"Totally worth it," she assured him, a smile stretching her lips.