A/N- Minor character death. Don't worry, it's not any of the main ones, but someone from Emma's past. Please R&R, and have fun with chapter 12! Well, maybe not fun, because, well, actually, just read and find out.
"Mama?" Jesus asked.
It startled both Lena and Emma, who were so lost in thought they didn't hear the door open.
"Yeah Jesus?"
"Mom's in your bed with Neal. He fell asleep on her."
"Ok. Why did you feel the need to tell me this?" she asked curiously.
He seemed to be reluctant to answer, and this worried Emma immensely.
"Jesus, is my brother ok?"
"I think so," he said, then realized that was the wrong thing to say.
"You think so?!" Emma asked incredulously, jumping up from where she was sitting with Lena. "Jesus, it's a yes or no question! Is my brother ok?!"
"He's fine now," he said hastily.
"Now?!"
He winced, seeming to be making the situation worse with his explanations.
"Ok, let's all take a deep breath," Lena said.
Emma
I ignored Lena in favor of stalking up to Jesus and poking my finger at his chest with each word. "What. Happened. To. My. Brother?" I snarled.
"Nothing happened to him," he said timidly.
I gave him the deadliest glare I could muster, ordering him to tell the truth.
"Emma," Lena said softly, placing a hand on my shoulder.
That was all it took. My finger dropped from his chest and my shoulders slumped. I dropped my head in my hands, trying to stave off the tears. I didn't register Jesus' shock or Lena's concern.
"Jesus, please, is Neal ok?" I asked meekly.
"I promise, Emma, he's fine. Mom and him were talking and he fell asleep."
"Are you sure that was it?" I asked, picking my head up from my hands and searching his brown eyes for any sign of deception.
"I'm sure," he confirmed. I was too upset for my lie detector to work properly. "What about you, Emma. Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry for that Jesus. You didn't deserve it."
"It's fine, I'm used to being glared at with all the girls around here," he responded teasingly.
I gave him a small smile before turning to Lena. "I'm sorry, I was way out of line. I'd understand if you wanted to send me back after that."
She shook her head. "Ems, I'm gonna tell you a million times if I have to. We're never gonna send you back for arguing with someone. We might ground you if it gets too out of hand, but we would never put you back into that system. I'm afraid you're stuck with us."
Before I could respond, Jesus did, and rather sheepishly at that. "Speaking of grounding…" he trailed off at Lena's look.
"Go on," she said. "What about grounding?"
"BrandonandIgotintoafightwhichmayhaveresultedinmyphonescreenbreakingintoamillionpiecesI'msorryMamaMomalreadygroundedusfortwoweeksandwehavetotellherhowithappenedlaterotherwisewe'llbegroundedforamonth," he said in one breath.
I was impressed that he could say all that in one breath. Lena, however, was not.
"I didn't get a single word of that, Jesus. Repeat it in a way I can understand please."
"Brandon and I got into a fight which may have resulted in my phone screen breaking into a million little pieces. I'm sorry Mama. Mom already grounded us for two weeks and we have to tell her how it happened later otherwise she's grounding us for a month."
She sighed, exasperated, before responding. "What did Mom ground you from?"
"Brandon can't go to piano lessons, I can't go to wrestling, we can't have friends or girlfriends over or hangout with them, and they can't come over either."
"Well, I agree with Mom's grounding."
Jesus didn't say anything, probably knowing that would've been the case.
"I'm also going to join when Mom is talking, because I for one would like to know how an argument led to your phone breaking."
"Ok," he mumbled resignedly.
"And Jesus?"
"Yeah Mama?"
"We're not getting you a new phone. You're going to have to either buy it yourself or work very, very hard to earn it."
"Ok Mama. Can I go now?"
Lena raised an eyebrow at him, and he amended his question.
"I meant, may I be excused?" he said in more of a question than a statement. It amused me that such a big dude was terrified of a woman about half a foot shorter than him."Yes, you may."
He hastily opened the door and closed it just as hastily once he was inside.
"Is there always some type of drama happening in this house?" I asked, easing the tension after Jesus' quick exit.
She barked out a laugh before responding. "I suppose there is now that I think about it. I can't remember the last time we just relaxed and had fun as a family without someone trying to keep some sort of secret."
"Maybe you should do that this weekend?" I suggested. "After Neal and I get what we need, maybe you guys could head to the beach and just have fun? We could keep an eye on the house while you hangout as a family."
Lena's brows furrowed. "As wonderful as an idea that is, what makes you think you and your brother would stay here instead of coming with us?"
"Because usually the foster kids are excluded from fun activities with the actual family. I thought…" I stopped talking when I realized how stupid I sounded. Of course this family wouldn't exclude us.
"Emma, we—"
"Aren't like most foster families, I know, I know," I interrupted. "It's just, it's hard."
"What's hard?" she asked, concern written all over her face.
"To believe that a family actually wants me and wants to get to know me."
Her concern melted away when my words sunk in.
"Well, we're always going to be here to remind you."
"But that's the thing, you're not always gonna be there. What happens if I do something that gets me forcefully removed? What happens if one of you gets seriously injured or sick and you can't afford to keep us? What happens when I'm eighteen since legally I'm not a part of the system anymore?"
She blew out a breath at my words. "That's a lot of ifs, sweetheart."
"But it's true, isn't it?" I shot back. "Any one of those things could happen, so don't try to tell me you'll always be there, because you can't promise that. You just can't."
"Come on," she said firmly.
"Come on?" I repeated, confused, the anger suddenly vanishing into thin air.
"Yes, come on. We'll go wake Stef and Neal, and we're gonna talk."
Lena brushed past me and opened the door, waiting patiently for me as I was still very confused as to what was happening. I stepped inside, but not before taking hold of my notebook and clutching it to my chest. Once I was inside, she closed the door and started to make her way to the stairs, my still confused self following. We reached her room, and she opened the door. My heart melted into a puddle at what I saw, and I could tell Lena's did too. Stef was asleep, Neal on top of her, also asleep, with her arms wrapped around him, as if she was protecting him from all of the bad things in the world. She quietly made her way over to the bed, being mindful of the creaky floorboards. I waited in the doorway as she set to waking Neal, seeing as though he was on top.
"Neal," Lena whispered, carefully shaking his shoulder to rouse him. "Neal, buddy, we want to talk to you and Emma. Wake up bud, come on."
He slowly opened his eyes at Lena's prodding. When he saw her, he sleepily smiled.
"Hi Lena," he said rather groggily.
"Hey bud, do you mind waking Stef? We want to talk to you and Emma about something that's really, really important."
"Ok," Neal said, lifting his body off of Stef's.
She sensed the change at once, for her arms wrapped around him, holding him even tighter as she woke up.
"Hey baby, you ok?" she asked, eyes still half-closed.
"Yeah, but Lena said you guys have to talk to me and Emma about something."
Her eyes shot open at this, and she gestured for Neal to get off of her so she could sit with her back against the headboard.
"Are you sure?" Stef asked, looking straight at Lena.
"I'm sure," she confirmed, waving at me to come sit in front of Stef as Neal was sitting in front of Lena.
"We haven't talked to the kids yet."
"You know they'll be perfectly fine with it."
I made my way over as they continued to argue about something that had to do with us, and set my notebook on the nightstand.
"What happened to waiting until they were ready?"
"They are ready."
By this point, it seemed as though we weren't in the room with how intently they were staring at each other. Neal grasped my hand in his, probably feeling nervous, and I couldn't blame him, for I didn't have a clue as to what was happening.
"Do you really want this?" Stef asked, her hazel eyes searching Lena's dark brown ones.
"I know I do, but do you? You seem awfully hesitant about it."
"Of course I want it, my love, I just thought we were going to wait a bit longer, that's all."
"Stef, they're ready."
"Ok, what's this about?" I asked impatiently.
Neal's small voice filled the room. He had tears in his eyes as he said, "Are you sending us back?"
Lena and Stef started reassuring him almost immediately.
"Oh my love, of course not. You're stuck with us, remember?" Stef asked, her voice light.
"Then what's this about?" I questioned, relieved that they weren't sending us back, but made me nervous about what else it could be.
They looked at each other, silently communicating, which just made my nervousness more prominent.
"Is it something we did? Are we in trouble?" I prodded, trying to get more information.
"No, you guys aren't in trouble," said Lena.
"In fact, Lena and I wanted to know how you guys feel about making this a more permanent arrangement," Stef said.
We must've looked confused, for she began speaking again.
"We were wondering how you guys feel about us adopting you?" she said.
It felt as though all of the air had been sucked out of my lungs. I struggled to come up with anything to say.
"You want to adopt us?" Neal asked, his voice filled with hope.
"We do, but only if you want it," Lena said.
He lunged at them, hugging them so tight I thought they couldn't breath. It didn't seem to matter, for they hugged him just as tight.
"I want it!" he said, laughing with pure joy, and they laughed and cried while hugging him, seeming absolutely ecstatic that he agreed.
Meanwhile, my mind was still reeling. Stef and Lena wanted to adopt not just my brother, but me too.
"Adoption?" I finally managed to croak out.
Neal was now sitting between them, and they all looked at me with wide, hopeful eyes.
"Yes, Emma, my love, we want to adopt you, both of you," Stef confirmed.
"Even if you don't want it, we will love you all the same, and you'll still be here for as long as you like," Lena added.
I simply stared at them, unbelieving.
"Why?" I whispered.
"Because, we love you, Ems, so so so much, and we want you to officially be a part of our family," Stef said.
"I, I don't know what to say."
"Please say yes?" Neal begged me, pleading with his bright blue eyes.
I quickly looked away because I didn't want to agree simply because my brother asked me.
"You guys really want me?"
"More than anything in the world," they said at the same time.
"But we've only been here for a few days," I meekly protested.
"And we've come to love both of you in that short amount of time," Stef said.
I couldn't say anything else because of the lump in my throat. Tears were now making their way down my face, and I didn't do anything about it. I sucked in as much air as I could while nodding my head.
"Yes?" Stef asked hopefully.
"Yes," I choked out before being enveloped in the most wonderful hug I've ever had.
I embraced it full heartedly, crying and laughing into their shoulders. When they pulled away after a few minutes, they had the biggest grins I've ever seen on them, almost looking like the Cheshire Cat. Their eyes were sparkling with unshed tears and happiness. Neal was also grinning.
"Does this mean we have to call you Mom and Mama?" he asked.
"Only if you want to," assured Lena.
"Ok," he said, seeming satisfied. Then he said, "Mom, Mama, I love you."
They started crying again, though I'm not sure it ever stopped, and engulfed him in a hug.
"We love you too baby, so so much," Stef said.
"Thank you, for wanting to adopt us," said Neal.
"We should thank you, Neal, for letting us adopt you."
"Why wouldn't I? I love you guys, you all love both of us, and you treat us like we should be treated, as an actual family member."
It seemed as though they couldn't stop hugging him, and quite frankly, I couldn't blame them. I don't know when my brother became so mature for his age, but it was amazing to see.
"Stef?" I asked, my voice sounding shaky from all the tears I've shed.
"Yes Emma?" she responded, pulling away from Neal to look at me.
"Are the others ok with this?"
"They couldn't be more excited."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, if you really want to know, we'll get them in here."
"I would, if you don't mind."
"Not at all, although I think I'm too tearful to call them in here."
"Me too," I said. "Why don't you just text them? I'm sure more than one of them is on their phone, besides Jesus since he broke his."
"Good idea love," she said while reaching over to the nightstand to grab her phone, being careful not to knock over my notebook.
Soon enough, everyone piled in, looking concerned at the tears but confused at the happiness shining on our faces. As I looked at them, at Callie who's always been there for me to talk to, at Brandon who understood my passion for piano, at Jesus and Mariana, who have stuck by my side despite me being hostile to both of them, and at Jude, who came to me for advice, who looked up to me and who I adored as much as Neal, I burst into tears once more. I was overwhelmed by the thought that they would officially be my siblings. Stef held me close as I was crying.
"Moms? Is everything ok?" Callie asked.
"Everything's perfect, sweetheart," said Lena.
"What's with all the tears?" asked Jesus.
"Well, we asked Emma and Neal if they wanted to be adopted, and they said yes!" Stef exclaimed, still holding me as the tears wouldn't stop coming. I didn't understand why I was being so emotional about all of it.
"Really?!" Jude said. "This is awesome!"
He jumped on the bed making us all bounce a little. Since my tears had stopped, I let out a laugh while sniffling.
"Emma!" Neal suddenly proclaimed.
"What's wrong? Are you alright?" I hurriedly asked him, moving from Stef's secure embrace to look at him.
"We're never gonna get separated again!"
That hadn't even factored into my mind until Neal said it. I then became lost in thought about how, despite only being here a few days, they know me better than any other foster parents I've had. They managed to poke cracks into my walls, the ones I believed were impenetrable. They made me feel wanted, like I mattered. They loved me, and even though I couldn't say it back just yet, I think they knew, because they've gotten to know me. I responded to Neal.
"Yeah kiddo, we aren't," I confirmed. I looked to the rest of them, who were standing stock still.
"Do you guys want this?" I asked softly, afraid of what the answer would be.
"Are you kidding me? Emma, we'd love you two to be a part of our family!" Mariana said.
"I'm cool with it," Jesus said.
"Me too," Brandon said.
That left Callie. I chewed anxiously on my lip, waiting for her response.
"Callie?" Lena asked.
"I'm good with it," she sincerely said.
"Can we celebrate?" asked Mariana. "We could invite Grandma, Grams and Gramps, and make a whole weekend of it!" she exclaimed excitedly.
"I think that's a wonderful idea, sweetie, but we need to see if Emma and Neal are comfortable having them over," said Lena.
"Right! Are you guys ok with it? I mean, if you're getting adopted, then they'll technically be your grandparents too!"
"Yeah!" Neal said.
"Emma, my love, are you alright with this?" Stef asked.
"Mariana's right, if we're getting adopted, then we should get to know our future family."
"Yes!" she said, jumping on the bed and giving me a hug.
Neal quickly joined, and before I knew it, someone, I think Stef, called "Group hug!", and everyone was piling onto the bed, laughing and smiling. When everyone pulled apart, the laughter died down at Stef's serious statement.
"I think I need to tell them about it first."
Lena reached over and clasped Stef's hand in hers, giving her an encouraging smile.
"Tell us what?" I asked.
"I don't want to freak you guys out, but I'm in remission from breast cancer."
"What does that mean?" Neal asked innocently.
I, however, knew all too well what it meant.
"Cancer?" I asked shakily.
"Emma, what's cancer?" he asked me.
"It's a disease that makes you really sick, and a lot of people die from it," I explained, doing my best not to freak out.
I felt bad when Neal started tearing up, but I couldn't push down the fear I felt. It was overwhelming me.
"Emma," Stef started.
"No," I seethed. "You don't get to drop a bombshell like this and then expect me to accept your apology for not telling me. People die from this, and when you realize that you never get to see them again, it's the worst feeling in the world."
I had gotten up from the bed and taken hold of my notebook, clutching it like it was the only thing keeping me afloat.
"Emma," she tried to reason.
I just shook my head in the negative. "Oh, and you can forget about the whole adoption thing. I don't need this, and I certainly don't need any of you," I said before sprinting out of the room and into the kids bathroom, quickly locking the door and sitting against it, my head in my arms as they were resting on my propped up knees. I clamped a hand over my mouth to try and muffle the sobs. I didn't want to believe it, but it's true. The words cancer and die were running through my head. I closed my eyes as the sobs kept coming, thinking back to one of my first foster homes, after Neal and I got separated.
The woman who ran the home was in her 50s. She had a haircut much like Stef's, only her hair was a lot grayer. Her eyes were a vibrant blue with specks of brown here and there. She was about average height and weight, and her name was Helen Davidson. She was probably the nicest woman I'd ever met in the system. She was also the closest thing I ever had to a good mother. She had three other kids in her care, all younger, and one of them was hers, but she always made time for me. Helen made sure I ate properly, that I kept my grades up, and that I knew I could come to her for anything. I've never told anyone before, but Helen was the one who taught me how to sing. Granted, I've always had a good voice, but she taught me everything, from simple warm-ups to the toughest techniques a singer could learn. Her voice, however, was an angel's voice. Whenever I was mad or sad, Helen was there, ready to listen and to help me calm down. Just by singing one line, she could make me go from completely pissed to making me forget why I was pissed in the first place. After I'd been there for about a year, I noticed she seemed shaken about something. I could tell something was off. Helen wasn't her usual self, so I decided to help out as much as I could. I did whatever she asked of me, no complaints whatsoever. This went on for a few weeks before she sat me down and told me what was wrong. She explained that she had cancer, specifically breast cancer. That it was attacking her body, making her feel weak and not her usual self. Helen said she was going to the hospital to get treated, but it might make her sicker than she already was before she could start to get better. I remember her exact words when I asked if there was anything I could do.
"Duckling, just continue being who you are. If you do that for me, then I'll be perfectly fine, knowing I raised you to be you. Now, why don't you sing for me, hmm?"
And so I did. Whenever she was having a bad day, or even a good one, I'd be there, singing. It always seemed to help. I think it reminded her that she had someone to fight for. She told me once that her parents kicked her out because she got pregnant before being married, and she hadn't talked to them since. She said, "Duckling, I want you to listen, listen real good. If people don't accept you or your decisions, don't stay around them. Don't apologize to them. If they want you, they'll be right by your side no matter what."
Even though she seemed to be getting better, it wasn't. In fact, it progressed so fast that she was in bed rest not a week later. They had already removed the younger kids because she simply couldn't keep up with them. Her kid went to go stay with his father. They had two nurses who switched out every twelve hours in order to keep an eye on her. I snuck into her room one night, because I wanted to see her. She looked nothing like the Helen I remembered. She looked so weak, so fragile, I didn't want to touch her, for I was afraid she would break if I did. Somehow, she knew I was there. She always knew.
"Duckling," she said raspily. "What are you doing in here?"
"I wanted to see you," I said on the verge of tears, sitting in the chair next to the bed.
Her eyes looked so dull, so lifeless as she stared into mine.
"Shh, it's alright baby."
"But it's not!" I cried out. "You're gonna leave me like everyone else!"
"Duckling, I would never leave you, not if I could help it."
"Really?" I hiccuped.
"Really," she said.
Helen opened her hand for me to put mine in, and I obliged.
"Duckling, I need you to promise me something."
"Anything," I said desperately.
"I know I'm not gonna be here much longer, so I want you to promise me you'll never stop being you. That means you keep singing, you keep your head up high, and you keep loving as fiercely as you already do, you hear me Duckling?"
"I hear you," I said, the tears coming faster and faster.
"I love you so much Duckling, please don't forget your promise," she said weakly.
"I love you too, and I won't. I promise I won't," I said, sobbing.
Helen Davidson passed away peacefully that night, my hand still gripped tightly in hers. The nurse came to remove me, but I clung as tight as I could to Helen, kicking, screaming, and crying. I didn't want to leave her, and I continued to fight the nurse as she managed to get me out of the room. The funeral was a few days later, but I was completely numb to the world. There were a few of her friends, some kids that she fostered, and surprisingly, her family. I ignored them, because I knew she wouldn't have wanted them there unless they wanted to apologize. I also ignored everything else around me, including my social worker as she led me to the car to take me to my next family. That was the first and last time I said I love you to any of my foster parents. It was the last time I allowed myself to get close to anyone, and the last time I had my walls down. Until the Fosters. Now, the same thing was happening all over again, and I didn't know how I would survive it a second time, or if I even could.
Stef & Lena's Bedroom
Stef was hurt and angry. What had been one of the happiest moments of her life turned into one of the worst. "Forget about the adoption?! What does she think she's saying, forget about the adoption?!"
"Stef," Lena said, trying to calm her wife down.
"Ok, ok," she said, trying to keep her cool. Stef took a few deep breaths, knowing that she had the tendency to allow her emotions to cloud her judgement.
All of the kids had congregated to the bed after Emma left, trying to figure out what went wrong.
"I think Emma lost someone close to her to cancer," Callie said.
"Why do you say that?" Stef asked, considerably calmer.
"You didn't see her eyes, Mom. They were so full of pain and fear it made me want to cry," Callie explained.
"Mom? You're not gonna die, right?" Neal asked.
Everyone except for Stef and Lena were gaping in shock at the fact Neal called Stef mom.
"No sweetheart, I'm already pretty much cured of it. I just wanted to tell you guys so you didn't find out on your own and get scared."
"I think Emma's scared," he said matter of factly.
"I think so too baby. But, if she'd let me explain, she wouldn't need to be so scared."
"Mom, I get that you're upset and hurt, but think about it. Yes she probably should've let you explain, but she just heard the word cancer and froze. Remember when we found out? How terrified we were?" Callie stated.
"You're right love, you're right," Stef admitted.
"Woah! Mom admitting she's wrong? I should be recording this!" Jesus exclaimed teasingly.
Stef leaned over speedily and socked him in the shoulder.
"Oww!" he whined.
"That's what happens when you make fun of your mother," she said.
Everyone chuckled at their antics.
"Ok children, that's enough," Lena said, feeling amused.
"I'm not a child!" Stef scowled.
"Then quit acting like one," Lena responded.
"Mom? Mama?" asked Neal quietly.
"Yes sweetheart?" Stef answered.
"Did Emma mean it? That she doesn't need any of us?" he asked, trying to keep his tears at bay.
"No, honey, she didn't. She just got scared and lashed out," Lena explained.
"Come here," Stef said, motioning for him to come in her arms.
He complied, feeling safe and sound in his new mom's arms.
"I promise Neal, Emma needs you. She needs all of us. Mama was right, she's just trying to protect herself from her feelings."
"Why?" he asked curiously.
"Well, for one, it might be too painful for Emma to deal with, and for another, it might be because she doesn't want us to see her upset since she doesn't want to seem weak," Stef explained.
"But she's Emma. She's not weak, she's one of the strongest people I know."
"We know that Neal, but sometimes, people who have had trouble opening up also have trouble seeing that not being ok is the strongest thing a person can feel or admit to feeling," said Lena.
"Is someone gonna go after her?" Brandon asked.
"No. I think the best thing we can do right now is to let her be alone, to process what she's feeling," said Stef.
"What can we do in the meantime?" Mari asked.
"Great question, Miss Thang. I think we should get back in our pajamas and play some board games. We can make a bunch of snacks and wait patiently for Emma to come to us," Stef responded.
Everyone agreed, and as they left Stef and Lena's room, they pretended very hard not to notice the obvious but soft sobbing coming from the bathroom as they walked past.
A/N- Ok, so I wasn't planning to have the adoption thing so soon, but this chapter practically wrote itself. And I'm not crying, you are. Anyways, I don't own OUAT or The Fosters, even though I really wish I did. I do, however, own Charlie, Evan, and Helen, as well as their moms. Let me know what you thought of chapter 12!