11/14/20
Lots of thoughts on the last chapter and I loved reading every single one of them. Thank you for sharing them.
I want to be the one in the sun
"So…." Deepi started. "What about the sex? You're on the shot, he's shooting blanks— that's like a free lifelong pass to adult disneyland."
Ana swallowed. "I don't know. It's just…"
"We're all girls here. You can tell us…" Tamika looked towards her encouragingly.
Ana looked at Jose. Talking about sex in detail in front of him was going to be a little weird given her difficulty to talk about sex in general.
"Jose' a handsome girl with a penis." Alice waved her hand dismissively, making everyone laugh out loud.
"You think I'm handsome?" He feigned shock. "I feel so… pretty and loved." he sniffed, wiping a fake tear.
"You know for the longest time I thought he left because the sex was not good or that he was just a fuck 'em and duck 'em kinda guy but... now he wants to get close and I'm just nervous, I don't have experience... I can't reciprocate and I'm too nervous of being naked in front of him and—"
"Listen to me Boss!" Alice cut her off. "We all have seen your body in various stages of undress…. well, not you Jose cause that would be weird." She laughed. "ANYWAY, your bod is smokin hot. I guarantee you, once he sees you naked… he's gonna turn you into a Jackson Pollock."
Everyone burst out laughing.
"I'm gonna carry a blue light and Lysol spray with me now." Tamika sassed.
"It's more so because my scar and the tattoos I got." Ana shrugged. "It's just more explaining I have to do and all this shit is sad and––"
"Again, tell him. He's the only guy who will get it." Jose replied. "I told you, he'll be the only man who will truly understand because they're half of him too."
"Yeah, I guess." She murmured unconvincingly.
"And as for the experience, trust when I say, the man wants in your panties and doesn't give two shits if you know how to ride stick shift. He just wants a hand to hold." Alice gave a cheesy grin making everyone laugh but Ana rolled her eyes.
"I don't know." Her face was growing red and she was even more embarrassed.
"Just spit it out." Deepi snapped.
"I don't know shit okay. I mean…" Ana buried her hands in her face and growled. "Sorry Jose this might get weird." She looked at him apologetically but he snorted.
"Annie, trust me, nothing weird. Sure I've looked at your man with lust filled eyes but then he confirmed his hetero-ness and THEN he turns out to be your baby daddy...I can never look at him that way… again." He chuckled.
Ana giggled and shook her head. "So like, I don't have experience but it's not just like you know… reciprocating but also… he wants to go down on me and I've never... "She shrugged at the loss of her words. "He's so accomplished you know and I can't match that. What if he doesn't like me or gets bored or…" she went quiet, losing her words.
There was silence for a few moments before Alice blurted out her 2 cents.
"BOSS. The man wants to eat you out like a never ending buffet and you're afraid of how the salad dressing is gonna taste or how your customer service is? FUCK THAT."
They all howled in laughter till Ana couldn't breathe.
"There's an important verse in the Wonderland Bible; do not close your legs on the mouth that wants to feed on you." Alice added, raising her wine glass in a toast.
That sparked another round of cackling.
"She's got a point." Deepi responded trying to control her laughter. "Listen, my ex barely went down on me, saying he wasn't really into it. Of course I later found that he was really into it when I walked in on his face all up in his assistants crotch while she screamed like a bitch in heat."
Deepi started having problems with her ex when her daughter passed the 2.5 year mark. Suddenly there were lots of business trips and late nights at the office. She didn't notice much at first since she was doing well at work herself and trying her best to be a present mom. When she got pregnant again, her husband didn't take the news all that well and withdrew from her even more under the guise of work and pressures of the new VP position he had worked so hard to get. One night during the end of her early weeks of her first trimester with her son Rohan, she dropped off her daughter Maya at her brother's house for a sleepover with her cousins and bought dinner to surprise her hardworking husband at the office, in hopes to patch things up a little and talk.
She walked in on him having his assistant for dinner.
They got divorced immediately after that with Deepi talking half of everything he owned, which was a lot.
To this day he has only seen his kids a handful of times due to his demanding work schedule. He is scheduled to marry his ex-assistant next month. They are expecting their first child together.
"I guess the question is, do you want to have sex with him?" Deepi asked.
Ana looked at her knotted hands for a moment.
"Of course I do but… " She shrugged. "I mean it's been two and half years and I feel a little pathetic. He's so accomplished in like… everything especially the sex department with all the—" she immediately stopped realizing it would be TMI.
"Because of what?" Tamika pressed for more.
Alice and Jose pursed their lips and began to chug down their wine.
"Nothing." Ana quickly responded.
"OH HAIL NAAHHH, TELL ME." Tamika roared. She lived for gossip and drama.
Ana shrugged. "He's just really good at it."
"Don't bullshit me. What is it, he's eccentric or some shit?"
"Um, kinda. He's into BDSM, or was… not anymore. I mean not with me. When we had sex it was vanilla and he's been through some abuse which made it impossible for him to have sex without restraining his partner but with me it was different for reasons I can't fully share but I believe him." Ana quickly mumbled and looked at Deepi who had raised her eyebrows in surprise.
Tamika snorted. "Damn, rich white boys and their eccentricities." She took a moment and looked towards Ana. "You wanna have sex with him, go for it. Don't be afraid at all. You should enjoy and learn more about yourself cause if he's as accomplished as he claims well then you're about to have some fun."
"She's right. Whenever you're comfortable, take charge. He wants you, it's obvious so go with the flow. Then report back with your findings." Deepi added with a cheesy grin and everyone chuckled. "You said you had fun the first time, imagine how much more amazing it's gonna be this time around. The standard has now been set and the sex better be explosive, that's all I gotta say."
"But after a quarantine period and also, the dude needs to take you out on a date. He has to work for it. Make him work for it, Boss." Alice joined in on the advice train. "Three to four date minimum threshold. He can feel up and-or taste the cupcakes and sample the lady pie but no cannoli in the holeys!" She wagged her finger.
"GOD, ALICE. Go to Wonderland." Ana groaned, praying for divine intervention and looked at Jose, waiting for him to say something as laughter in the room died down.
"Honestly, you're too good for him but I agree with all that's being said. It's your decision, make him work for it because sex can make things messy and cloud your judgment, so be careful. Most of all, don't do it out of a pressure of a timeline that oh it's been a month or whatever. You've waited 2.5 years, he can wait a few months or as long as he has to in order to earn your trust."
She nodded silently, trying to convince herself it was okay to want Chris and put herself first.
"Damn, I just realized… had I known this was gonna be the topic of discussion I would've brought props for sex ed class. We could have taught you some techniques."
"I have props!" Alice cheered.
"NO!" Ana yelled, completely mortified.
"It's just a dildo and a vibrator, Boss. Relax." She said dismissively.
"Just remember to not forget the balls!" Jose said matter of factly. Everyone cackled except for Ana who hid her face in the cushion.
"I'm never telling any of you anything again."
For a moment she thought of Anabelle. She would have loved this conversation, in fact everything that they were saying was in line with what she would have said, except it would've been a competition in trying to outdo each other.
Deepi caught her attention by addressing her again "All jokes aside, Ana. In the end it's all about communication. Talk to him, tell him what you just told us. The right partner will not pressure you and will go at your pace. He won't know until you tell him." She smiled adoringly at her friend. "He can't hurt you anymore. We've got your back. You are so strong and you should never be ashamed no matter what."
Tamika groaned. "The ONLY way he's gonna learn about being a parent is if you throw him in the deep end. No floaties, NADA. Hashtag happy floating bitch."
"And let my kid drown with him?"
"Obviously not. You're the lifeguard on break but still close by." She shrugged, pouring more wine into her glass.
"I just told Belle that he's Daddy and she's fighting it. I mean it's only been a little over 48 hours since I did so it's definitely going to take time, plus the man can't cook or change a diaper…. God, it's like I have to train another kid."
"You, well we, I guess need to also teach her that he's safe to change her diaper and give her a bath." Alice added.
"Yeah, I know." Ana sank back into the couch. "Man, this is going to be so much work." she laughed a little. "But once he does learn, I think I can get my mornings back and sleep in a little more."
Deepi sighed. "I miss sleeping in."
"Same." Tamika chimed in.
"THANK GOD, we're single." Alice bellowed and reached over to high five Jose.
"Fuck you two." Ana snapped then giggled. "He also wants to eventually make a statement and we all know how I'll get murdered once we do."
"Don't think about that right now. The main focus is that he needs to learn how to be a Dad. That shit takes time, so until he's mastered the art of that, he doesn't get to make no claims. No thank you, NEXT!"
"No, I agree fully. It just sucks a little because we can't go out in public and do normal things like taking Belle to the park or just walking in the neighborhood. I love doing that stuff with her and I'd love for her to have daddy-daughter days or I can't really be seen in public with his siblings and niece too much but yeah… Jose was saying this is all growing pains and that things should smooth over soon."
"How are you guys gonna do date night then?" Deepi asked. "Not to add any fuel to the fire but he was seen with Lillian a lot from my research." Of course what Deepi meant was her thorough stalking. She didn't just do research, she left no stone unturned.
"Of course he did." Ana muttered. "I don't know. That's his problem. I shouldn't have to think of every fucking thing. I've already got enough on my plate." It was absolutely ridiculous for her to be jealous of his past, it wasn't his fault she had no experience but still she felt a little uneasy for fear of unintentional comparisons.
"Damn, the claws are out." Tamika cackled but proceeded to soften the blow. "Hey listen, don't think about that shit. It's his past. You're his present and future. You've literally got him by the balls. That's why that bitch came after you in the first place. You're good, girl. Don't worry."
"Plus, you're so much prettier and fuzzy and warm." Alice smiled but Ana could tell she was tipsy.
"Are you hitting on me, Alice?"
Alice shrugged. "Maybe. I haven't had real sex in 12 days." She frowned and took out her phone. "Time to book myself a ticket to Wonderland for the weekend."
"I hope tomorrow night with Skywalker leads somewhere, I haven't had sex in a year and I'll even be happy with just a little tickle or half a pickle. I'm so easy to please right now." Deepi signed and rest her head on her arms in defeat.
"Mom down." Ana laughed and asked Alice to come sit on the couch so they could drunk browse bumble and tinder for Alice' next booty call.
It was about 11:30pm when Ana said goodnight to everyone and walked into her room. She went into her walk-in closet and took out her phone to call Chris. She wasn't drunk but she was definitely buzzed, maybe even a little tipsy and feeling a little more confident from all the girl talk and girl power vibes.
Truth is, she missed him. Even though they only had spent a handful of nights sleeping together, it had gotten addictive but also realized that she needed her alone time after Belle went to sleep to think out things which she wasn't getting as of late.
Chris answered with a chuckle. Hearing his voice made her feel all light and tingly. "Is this Drunk Ana?"
"No, it's not." She snapped. "I just… you know, needed to confirm something."
He smirked. "Ask away."
"Well, I just wanted to know… you know… that, well! How are we supposed to do date night if we ever do, without getting found out? I mean, your dating life with that witch is so thoroughly documented." She sounded petulant and immediately tried to pull back. "I just mean, you know, in terms of trying to remain private."
"Don't worry about that baby, when we go out next week it'll be completely private and no one will find out."
She scoffed. "Who said we're going out next week? You never asked me."
"Well, Miss Steele, would you like to go out to dinner with me on Thursday night?" He had already checked her calendar and saw that her only free night next week was Thursday. Her schedule was something he was still adapting to and then next Friday she was flying out to LA for a week.
"I have to check my calendar."
"I already did." He laughed.
"Hmm, okay." She shrugged to herself. "Where are you taking me?"
"It's a surprise."
"You better not try to get me drunk."
"But I think it will be a lot of fun if you did, I have a feeling drunk Ana would be really hands on." He said huskily
"HAH, you wish I was handsy." she giggled.
"What are you wearing right now?"
Ana snorted. "My mom uniform."
"What are you wearing under your mom uniform?" He chuckled.
"I don't remember." She huffed and lay down on the carpet with her limbs spread out, closing her eyes for a beat. Her skin was warm and tingly and his voice did not do her any favors.
"I think you should check."
"I think you should keep your suggestions to yourself, Mr. Grey."
"If only you did listen to my suggestions, I think you'd be very satisfied with them especially when it comes to my hands on approach."
"Why do you want to have sex with me anyway. I could be really bad you know, it's been like two and half years, I should probably check for rust. Maybe that night was just a fluke. I mean you're like all info'd up on the kinky sex stuff. I can't even say blowjob without cringing." She hummed out.
Chris laughed out loud and Ana's eyes went wide realizing her lack of a brain to mouth filter.
"Um, I think I should go to sleep." She quickly added.
"Oh no you don't. You're going to stay on the phone with me now, Miss Steele."
"You need to sleep. You have work tomorrow." She tried to deflect.
"My business and I can choose to go in whenever. So tell me Miss Steele, what else have you been thinking about?" He was enjoying himself.
Her innocence was disarming and he couldn't wait to get to a place with her where she wasn't so shy.
"I've been thinking that I should go to sleep. Your daughter will wake me up at the butt crack of dawn and then she might be sad that Chwis my fwen isn't here."
Chris laughed again. "Call me as soon as you guys wake up and i'll talk to her."
"I will." Ana smiled.
"How was your girls night?"
"Very good. Informative, funny, the usual."
"What were you informed about?" He was intrigued.
"Stuff." She replied, pursing her lips to keep herself from laughing at the memory of what Alice and Tamika were saying.
"What kind of stuff?" He laughed softly.
"Girl stuff, no boys allowed, Mr. Grey." She sassed. "Besides, serves you right, you wouldn't tell me the agenda of the meeting… so I guess you'll just have to miss out too."
"Well, Miss Steele, why don't I make you a deal. If you follow one of my suggestions for tonight and let me hear your satisfaction, I'll happily share the meeting agenda with you."
"What suggestion?" Ana opened her eyes, still heavy with a wave of sleep threatening her and blinked rapidly to adjust her eyes to the light, trying to understand his words.
"Where are you right now?" His voice was soft and seductive and Ana felt slightly hazy not entirely picking up on the undercurrent.
"Um, the floor of my walk-in closet."
"Why the floor? Are you okay?" Suddenly there was an alarm in his voice.
"Yeah, yeah." She snapped and closed her eyes again. " I just lie here sometimes so the bear doesn't climb on top of me or wake up."
"Aren't you going to change for bed?" It was an innocent question but of course he had other ideas.
"Hmm, yeah I will. I'm just enjoying these few moments of peace on the floor here." She hummed again, feeling a little more relaxed.
"Are you tired?"
"Hmm, yeah, a little. What about you?" She said softly.
"I'd rather be lying on the floor with you, I'll leave it at that."
She giggled. "Next time you're over we'll take care of that."
"About that suggestion I was talking about." He brought the conversation back to his neighborhood.
"Yeah?" She breathed.
"Unbutton your jeans."
"Why?" she asked lazily.
"Because if you follow my suggestions to your satisfaction, you'll find out the agenda for that weekend meeting I look forward to."
The words rattled around in her brain for a few seconds before it all clicked and she gasped, her brain now fully awake. "Nice try, Christian Grey."
Chris laughed out loud. "I almost had you."
"I am never calling you under the influence again."
"You said that last time. Maybe third times the charm" He smiled, feeling calmer as the time passed with her on the phone.
"Well, there will be no third time and there will be no charm." She said matter of factly before laughing a little.
"Miss Steele, then I'll just have to see you in my office this weekend. I promise you it will be a very stimulating discussion." He teased, hoping to shock her some more. It was so easy.
Ana had agreed to spending the week at his apartment after brunch with his grandparents this weekend.
"Go to sleep, Christian Grey." She giggled. "You need to tell your imagination to take a xanax."
"My prescription of xanax can be found in the Ana special."
"OH MY GOD. You're so bad. I'm going to sleep. BYE." She tried her best to control her laughter but she couldn't and soon she wiped a tear from her cheek trying to come down from the high.
Chris had never been considered a funny guy but ever since that night, she'd made him feel so normal and even now in moments like this, she made his heart soar with the acceptance. After last night's conversation, he wanted to hear her laugh and act like herself.
"Good night, baby. I love you. Give the bear a kiss from me."
"I will. I love you too." she smiled.
After changing and getting into bed, Ana pulled Belle close and cuddled with her, soaking up her warmth and kissing her hair. Then she felt her phone buzzed under the pillow.
11:52PM Christian Grey: Dream of me.
11:52PM Anastasia Steele: You're the only guy I dream about, xx.
11:53PM Christian Grey: And you're the only girl I dream about.
Ana smiled. She knew he had nightmares and he had confessed that he slept much better with her but knowing that he sometimes could have dreams of her, made her feel loved.
She wondered over the years if he ever thought about her and now she knew the answer to that.
He had thought of her just as much as she thought of him and now they were finally together.
AN: Thoughts on part II of girl talk and CG still trying his best to turn on the charm?
Next up, Brunch with the Trevelyn Grandparents. It will be a very eventful day to say at the least.
Don't worry, we'll pivot back to Master/Blue Eyes and Lillian soon. I know you're all dying for some external angst, lol
Reviews lead to more frequent updates!
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Greg Laswell