You know, I think I started the other fic so I could write SoMa romance again because this has mostly turned to plot. I swear I'm working as quickly as I can to get them together.

That night had been the last time Spirit allowed Yaara in the house. Instead, Maka would wake each morning and brew a pot of tea to bring out into the backyard and she and Yaara would sit and talk. Maka realized quickly that talking with Yaara mostly meant listening, interjecting only when asked or, as it often felt, allowed. It was strange to find herself so heavy with child but still being treated like one, but her mother's words were honeyed and trickled into an empty spot that she hadn't noticed before.

Both Spirit and Black Star stayed far away during those moments though Maka could feel them skulking around the periphery. Black Star's soul was mostly a loud yell wherever it went and it always blared somewhere close enough that he could catch sight of her in a minute. Spirit was another thing entirely, sitting solemnly in the kitchen any time Yaara was nearby and barely offering a word to Maka. The disorientation of having one voice so strong while the other fell silent tugged at her mind. More often than not, when her mind did wander as Yaara's tales went on, Maka found herself wondering what Papa would say, what he would think. It'd been a long time since her thoughts had drifted there.

She would end the day in much the same way, bringing out the meal that usually she cooked and eating in an only slightly broken silence. Yaara seemed quieter at night and Maka forced, even though she knew it should not feel forced, stories of her steps before coming back home. Talking about Soul always brought that tightness to her throat, but she found with each recollection of his name, the babies would flutter in reply, easing that terrible wave of loneliness. "Soul was… still very sick when I first came for the contest but somehow, even with all the problems with his memory, he said he felt like he knew me." It was supposed to be a romantic gush, since breaking that spell with her touch was just that, but Maka let it warble with the melancholy of missing him.

"What was he sick with?" Yaara's interest seemed piqued especially as she offered no bridges to other stories of her own, just the question, simple and short.

The pinprick of tears hit her eyes and Maka bit her lip to force them back. After a breath, she smiled sadly at her mother, "He was cursed by a witch. It was supposed to be me but he protected me."

"Then you should have been able to dispel it," Yaara replied with an easy roll of her shoulders. "I know you inherited that much from me."

Maka shook her head softly, her forehead wrinkling in thought, "It's more than that, I guess. It's in his blood and his soul, so I can calm it, ease his worst moments, but overall… I've only been successful in resonating with him and-"

"Resonating?" Yaara snapped. "You mean you did that? By yourself? With that boy?"

"Yes," Maka answered tentatively, trying to read the undulation on her mother's face. It looks like rage. Definitely confusion but fury at the idea that the two of us would be that close.

"Maka…" Yaara shook her head quickly and to Maka it reeked of disappointment. "To think that you risked yourself, your soul, to bond with, well… he's barely human anymore, not with that curse on him."

"What?" Maka balked and mirrored her mother with the shake of her head, trying to clear what she thought she must have misheard out of her ears. "Mama, Soul is still himself. He's still-"

"Sick, that's what you said," Yaara pressed. "And now he's passed that to you through these babies. I know you see them, I know you see the warped way their souls look."

The bitterness struck Maka, tightening her jaw and her grip on her stomach. "Stein said they were fine."

"Stein lies," Yaara eased back, a sad smile coming to her face. "Stein says and does what will benefit him. He always has. Why do you think he took you in the first place? He always knew my daughter would be powerful and having her on his side, believing she was indebted to him-"

"Stop!" Maka stood as quickly as her legs would let her and for a moment she was sure she would stumble until she felt the soft hand on the small of her back. She turned her head and it was Black Star, still silent but no longer creeping, just eyeing her with mild annoyance.

Without a word, he jutted his chin back at Yaara.

Maka turned her head back, her eyes narrowing on her mother. "I wouldn't have died without Stein. I don't owe him my life, and he's never made me feel like I do. He took me, he and Marie took me, and all they did was love me. That's what Stein thought I was dying without, and maybe I wasn't dying but I was going mad. So did he need me for some grand scheme? No. He just couldn't bear to see an eight-year-old girl who'd been abandoned by her mother and her father."

"I wanted to bring you with me, Maka," Yaara started but Maka raised her hand and batted the words out of the air.

"I don't even want to start on that," Maka's voice trembled but she swallowed it down before taking a deep breath. "Because-" I don't think that's the truth. I don't believe you, came furiously to her mind. "Because all I have the energy to do is tell you if you speak that way about Stein or about Soul again, I will not listen. I will-" Maka gut off with a grunt, her hand clenching into her dress at her stomach.

"What is it?" Black Star's hand was no longer just a touch but a full grab at her sides, ready to hold her on her feet.

"I think they're just as angry as me," Maka replied with a gasp of a laugh. "Can you help me inside?"

"What is it?" Yaara echoed but Black Star was already putting himself between them.

"She's tired," he spat back. "There's no way in hell I'm going to carry you especially with that belly, so get going."

While she had to force the laugh it still ran away some of the chill. "I didn't say carry."

One hand planted on her hip as the other held her up by the elbow, bringing her in through the door. He was running through other options for jokes, hoping to thaw her voice even more when Spirit popped into the hallway. "Are you alright?"

"Papa-" but before Maka could even get a soft reassurance from her mouth, Spirit was pressing past her, sandwiching her protectively between Black Star. Maka turned her head, following his glare and saw Yaara starting in through the door behind them.

"I told you, you're not allowed in here," Spirit spat as he filled the hallway as best he could between them.

"Something is obviously wrong," Yaara motioned.

"Yes, you being in here," Spirit grated back as he put a firm hand on the door, letting her only halfway in.

"Those babies-"

"Are fine," Spirit hissed. With a struggle, the door clapped shut and Spirit rested his head against the wood for a moment, willing her away with more than just his words and his hands.

"Papa," it was as soft as her hand on his back.

"Are you alright?" he repeated as he turned and the breath hitched in his throat.

Maka's eyes were slightly glossy and while her smile for him looked out of practice, for a moment he could imagine her as a girl again, looking up at him with that earnest appreciation. "Fine, and… thank you."

"Just go and rest," he whispered.

She let her fingers drift down his arm before she turned back and slipped into her room. Black Star was already inside, having drawn the blinds and pulled a chair next to the window. "She's not going to break in," Maka let out an exasperated sigh.

"You don't think she's capable?" Black Star balked and the annoyance swayed into his voice as she rolled her eyes. "I think she's willing, able, and ready. And for some reason, she has a bug up her ass about Soul's babies and I'm not about to let her fuck that up."

"Our babies," Maka corrected. "I'm kind of carrying them, so give me a little credit." She made her way to the bed, easing down as she moved to her side. After pulling the other pillow down she hugged it to her chest, trying to stuff it under her stomach to ease the weight. "And you're right, she doesn't like them."

"And they don't like her, right?" Black Star pressed. "They reacted to her."

Maka sighed as she shook her head into the pillow. "I think they just reacted to me overreacting."

"You didn't overreact," he corrected quickly. "You just finally said what you thought with her. I was fucking happy to hear that."

She wanted to narrow her eyes, to produce something close to a scowl but she mostly pressed her face into the pillow instead, the words garbled into the fabric. "And you were listening the whole time?"

"I've listened every day," Black Star scoffed. "To all the bullshit she's spouted to try to make her sound like a hero mother back from some thankless battle. And for a second there, I was afraid you bought it."

Maka hugged tighter, feeling the burn for air from her lungs as she smothered against the pillow. When she surfaced for air she sucked in deep before turning eyes that reminded him of that first night at the house, the desperation he saw at the stable just without the tears. "You were right."

"I enjoy hearing that," he tried to crow but it was lackluster. He leaned forward a grim smile on his face. "About what?"

"Remembering Soul," she murmured. "Neither of them, no matter how much I want them to, is going to be what I want or need them to be. Soul… he's always been just what I need and it's him I want to go back to."

"Good," Black Star rushed out a breath with some relief. "But, and don't you dare yell at me for a fucking second, you see your dad trying, right? I mean, doesn't make up for his shit, but he's at least not conniving like your mother."

"Black Star," Maka cautioned but received a steady glare right back.

"That bitch is up to something," he muttered.

"Don't call her that," Maka sighed in return. "But I do want to find out what she's planning. I've just been so… wrapped up in seeing her that I didn't want to admit it but the way she talked about them today…" She let the frustration build as she held the breath in her chest and she anxiously shuffled her legs. "I'm not stupid enough to believe that Stein isn't planning something either, but… why do I trust that Stein wants what's best for everyone in the end while my mother wants what's best for her?"

"Because you're not stupid," Black Star chuckled.

"Thanks," she grumbled.

"And while I don't like the idea of you even talking to her again…" Black Star popped to his feet and took the few steps to the bed, easing down next to her. "Find out what she wants. Play stupid like the sucker she thinks you are for a little bit longer. We only have two weeks until we leave and being out there on the road, not knowing what she wants, well, I'd rather kill her, to be honest, but I'm fairly sure you'd never forgive me."

"You can't do that," Maka whispered as she dug nails into his arm.

"For fuck's sake, I know," he pried her hand away with a hiss. "But I'm saying, better dead than unknown. So figure it out." Black Star stood up. "Keep that blind closed. I'm going to hang around the doors for a while. I'll send Crona in."

"Actually," Maka half-murmured into the pillow, almost hoping he didn't hear her.

"What do you want now?" he grumbled.

"Send Papa in, please."

Black Star let his mouth gape for a moment before snapping it shut, clenching tongue between teeth so he didn't bray out the first thought on his mind. Instead, he ground it to dust against his tongue as he walked out the door, leaving it askew as he turned in the hallway. Spirit was easy to find, seated with his back pressed against the rear door. "She wants to talk to you."

"Thanks, errand boy," Spirit grumbled.

"Fuck you," Black Star spat as he left the hallway free for Spirit to slowly cross.

In a way, Spirit was hoping for the gentleness to be gone from her and to be received with nothing more than the cold distance he'd gotten the first few weeks. That soft look had already replayed in his head too many times and the hope of it was something he knew he had to kill. He didn't have a right to it. "Maka." It was more of an announcement of his presence, already feeling like an intruder as she lay prone on the bed.

"Come to this side, please," she waved a hand at him without looking, too sunken into the bed now to dare move.

"Something wrong?" Spirit quickened his steps to her bedside but checked himself before daring to sit on the space next to her, instead kneeling to the floor.

"Tired," Maka's shrug became more of a hug to the pillow. "And they're getting heavy. I think this is becoming my favorite position."

"Riding will be hard when you leave," he cautioned.

"Oh," Maka groaned but let it drift off into a sharp laugh. "Don't remind me."

"Could always get his royal highness to send a carriage." It was a risk, but Spirit took it, cracking half a grin at the idea.

Maka sighed through the curve of a smile, "I'd ask, but I'm afraid he'd probably come with it and I can't put him at risk, too." She let the smile slip away, her forehead wrinkling slightly. "Because it would be a risk, wouldn't it, Papa? With Mama here."

"Listen, your mother…" he started but stopped as she patted a hand as far as she could reach towards him, just touching the bedspread at the edge.

"You've never been honest with me," she murmured. "Not once. So I think you owe me to be truthful now, Papa. I know you don't know anything, she wouldn't tell you for sure, but you think she'd hurt Soul, she'd hurt the babies?"

"I don't know anything," Spirit echoed, "but I… wouldn't be surprised."

That was as far as she had rehearsed in her mind because she'd honestly hoped for him to continue on his trail of lies so she could shut him out again, lock that door and toss away the key. The look in his eyes told her that she was going to get what she asked for and that derailed her, sent her groping for truths that she'd long since given up on.

In the pause, Spirit lifted his hand and let his fingertips touch hers. "What else do you want to know?"

"Why?" Maka let the word crack in her throat and she had to swallow to clear it. "I can remember when we were happy and then we went to sleep one night and the next day we weren't. Why?"

"We made mistakes." It should have been a murmur but the sharp sigh that came after pushed the words between them. His hand crept forward so that his fingers just overlapped hers. "I wasn't good to your mother and the only excuse I have was that she wasn't good to me, but in the end, neither of us was good to you and that's what I hate most of all."

Maka wanted desperately to unhear the last part in order to keep herself out of the sordid history, the mucky feelings about to come. She did her best to swallow it as she offered with a shaking voice, "You were unfaithful to her."

Spirit's eyebrows shot up his forehead, "You knew?"

"When I got to Marie's… or really, a few months after, I received a letter. It was from Mama but… so venomous that I stayed in my room for a week." The memory was lapping at her, pulling her back to the darkness unless she spat the next part out like poison. "It was easy to hate you then because Mama told the truth and you always lied."

"I don't deny it," he let fall from his lips bitterly. "And you're… your hate is what I deserve."

Maka sighed at the idea as it spun in her head. "I don't like it," she murmured as she closed her eyes. "I'd prefer not to."

Spirit sat in stunned silence, only letting his fingers flex slightly.

"So, tell me why," Maka echoed herself. "Why did you do that to her? And why did that mean she had to leave me behind?"

Spirit shook his head, "I can tell you what I think but that's unfair. Your mother can't defend herself and…" That yellow cowardice crept up his spine, "I'd rather not have this argument with her."

"All I'm asking is what you think," Maka replied back quickly as she let her eyes bat back open slowly. "I can talk to her myself if I actually want any of it corroborated." Because I'm not sure I will. Or now, really, it's not so black and white. You're both liars.

Spirit took in air that felt stale, that didn't feel like enough to shape the entirety of the past. "When you were born, we were happy." He wanted that to have some kind of weight and to create some kind of protective barrier around her. "You were all we wanted, even if you were a surprise to both of us. And when you were born, I don't think we spent a minute away from you and Yaara especially tended to your every need. But that was… as a baby, you were easy. Food, warmth, cleanliness was all you wanted. You were very clear about it too, rarely crying for no reason. The perfect baby, honestly."

He let a linger sigh hit his lips as he weighed the excuses in his mind. "We were both young but Yaara… when your mother gets frustrated she runs from whatever it is. That's always been her way and when you stopped being easy, started to have a personality and wants and needs you couldn't tell us about, Yaara struggled. So she started taking missions again." Spirit forced a pause so he could bitterly grind his teeth over it so that the words wouldn't come out as a blistered yell. "Which left you alone with me. First, it was a few days at a time. Then maybe a week or two. By the time you were five, she'd graduated to spending a month completely without us, without telling me where she was going or what she was doing."

A frustrated groan eked from his lips, "I don't want you to think that I didn't want that time with you, but… I wanted my wife, too. I'm not sure you'll even understand that until your own kids come but you can't just be a parent. And when you are, when the other person isn't there mentally or physically, it takes a toll and I…" Spirit shook his head slowly, "I did what you said. Since your mother wasn't here, I found that affection somewhere else. That night that you mentioned, the one where we went to bed happy but woke up not was because while you were asleep, I admitted it, and I begged your mother to come back, to start over again."

Maka blanched as her fingers clutched into the sheet under his. "She said… she said she found out on her own, that you made excuses-"

"I made excuses," Spirit nodded, "Just like I did right now, but I told her. I was clear about what I'd done and that I wasn't proud of it and that all I wished was that she would stop for a while, try to come back and make this work."

"But she left," Maka croaked.

"And maybe it was wrong," he murmured softly as he ran trembling fingers over her knuckles, "but I lied to you so that you could at least keep loving one of us. I wanted you to feel like at least one of your parents wasn't useless."

Maka's lip trembled as she rolled her eyes to keep the tears from coming. "You weren't," she groaned, "until the drinking you weren't. You were everything to me. But when you drank you stopped being there. I needed you at least there."

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "I feel like that means nothing and neither does stopping but I hope… at the very least you don't let it hurt you anymore. I can't make up for it but I hope at least now you've found what you need."

"I have Soul," Maka murmured back before pulling her hand away from his to run it over her stomach. "I'll have them soon and I still have Marie and Stein, Crona, and even Black Star." She tentatively brought her hand back, letting it rest over his. "Maybe, in time, we can… work towards making memories that don't hurt. Maybe Mama can do that, too, but… I guess I'm more hopeful when it comes to the two of us since while you don't like him I'm at least fairly sure you're not out to hurt my husband."

Spirit stopped himself from clinging to the hope and kindness in her words as his attention was forced to the problem at hand. "I don't think your husband is the first concern. I think your babies…" he shook his head swiftly, "Again, this is what I think, and I hope I'm wrong, but I don't think she wants you to have them."

"What?" And while it had been an inkling, a threatening thought in the back of her mind, to actually hear it sent a lightning strike to her gut and it forced her to sit up in the bed. "Get rid of them before they're born?"

Spirit tightened his jaw, feeling the grind of his teeth before he released the words. "She's convinced they're hurting you, maybe killing you, so…"

"No," Maka's voice fell like a hammer. "No. I don't care if they're hurting me or if they do kill me, the answer is no."

Spirit smiled at her softly, "It's alright. I'm not saying I agree. But you're scared of them, aren't you?"

Maka bit harshly into her lip for a moment, letting the pain clear the urge to cry. "Of course I am because I don't know anything. Half of it's not knowing what being a mother is like and the other is whether or not they'll be perfect like Stein promised but… they're ours." That cry echoed in her heart again, Remember Soul. "Even if I'm scared, I won't make a decision without Soul. I won't worry about them unless he's the one worrying with me." Maka sharply turned her head towards the door. "And if you're going to snoop, at least come into the room."

Black Star opened the door, moving it from the crack it had been so he could lean in the frame. "You're yelling is freaking Crona out," he chuckled. "Was just waiting for you to be done. And while that voice of yours is annoying, I'm at least glad that bitch isn't brainwashing you."

"I told you not to call her that," Maka huffed. "And there's no brainwashing. I'm having these babies."

"Didn't expect anything else," Black Star answered with a shrug. "You done yelling though? Again, annoying, stressing Crona out."

Maka frowned mockingly at him before turning back to her father. "You said it was normal. Stein said it was fine. And while I see Mama's point, their souls having the same mark that Soul does, I'm not going to let that drag me back into worrying, but… I need to make sure that's what Mama thinks."

"How?" Both of the men echoed each other with worry and Maka sent glances both their ways before continuing.

"Talking, alone."