(Tom's P.O.V)

Harry hesitated before he followed me down the steps. I needed to get my head together, because I was trying to be fair to him. I didn't want him to hate me, but there was no way I was letting him leave me. Even if I had to find a place to tie him up or a spell to bind him to me. And I knew that would scare him as much as it scared me. I paced in front of the fire before asking him to sit with me, and perching in front of the fire as a shiver overcame me. He sat on the opposite end of the couch.

"Harry, I'm having a lot of trouble containing myself right now. You must have noticed by now that I don't like feeling pain or sadness and subconsciously change it to anger because it's easier for me. But I don't want to scare you with what I'm feeling. I don't know what to do."

"Tell me what you're thinking. I've said what I've been thinking and how we should move forward in my mind. So what's going through your head?"

I wanted to be honest, but I didn't wanna scare him so I shot him a warning. He wanted my honesty anyway. So I told him what I was thinking down the stairs, that I was torn between tying him away and forcing him to stay with me with a magical pact. I had nothing before him, and there was no way I was letting him go. I realised with a chuckle just how accurate it would be to say that someone would have to pry his hand out of my cold dead fingers for somebody else to have him.

"But I don't want to do something like that, I want you with me because you love me and can't be away from me. So I need you to tell me what needs to change to make you happy, cos going our separate ways will not make me happy."

My Harry looked to me with watery eyes, "I need to spend more time with you. I need to feel loved sometimes. And maybe to try dirtier things, so I'm not waking up with an uncomfortable stiffy and just crying until it goes away because I'm alone in our bed again."

"Then I'll make time for you. I swear, I just need you to give me a chance."

I reached for his hand, wanting his warmth for my seemingly freezing skin. I felt cold all over and all this worry about losing him had given me the shivers. He asked if I was okay and I answered honestly. As long as he didn't leave me, I'd be just fine. My Harry seemed to shrink into himself and asked if he was being an asshole about everything. The question floored me entirely so I had to ask what he meant. He was talking about how hurt I was about him leaving and he was the one who suggested that, as well as staying out all night and making me worry. He was going to keep going but I cut him short.

"Don't start overthinking this, my love. The problem needed fixing, and you were too emotional last night. Yes, I would have rather talked it out before you pushed yourself into a corner thinking about splitting up, but you needed time. And I should have made time for you, not just assumed you knew I loved you and didn't need me around. Honestly, I was getting through it because I link all my plans to being with you. And if I get a full beautiful future with you then it made it easier to not spend all my time with you presently. But I didn't even think about what you thought about it. We're similar in so many ways I just assumed it'd be the same. This is my fault, not yours."

He smiled before biting his lip in thought. He starting pushing my back to the sofa's backrest and curled himself into my side, "Is this okay?"

I relaxed into his touch, tugging him closer with an arm around his waist. I kissed the top of his head and smelled his hair. I'd missed being this close with him. He asked if I really meant I would have bound him magically. I apologised because I couldn't lie, but that would always be my default thought. Not to mention brutalising anyone who laid a hand on him or said anything bad in general. I told him about Abraxas' error the night before with a grin and watched him gape at my smug pride. I told him he was the most important thing to me, and I'd protect him in any way I could.

"What about protecting me from yourself?" He smirked.

"I said any way I can. That is unfortunately outside my range of capability."

He giggled gently, a sweet sound that warmed me completely. I asked where he'd been hiding if his friend Black didn't know where to find him. He tensed a little as he asked if I'd hurt him, given he comes across as close to my Harry because he was grateful for the tutoring that helped him pass his homework assignments. I assured him his friend left exactly the way he was when he started speaking to me because I could tell he was talking platonically. And I appreciate anyone that looked after Harry while my judgement was skewed.

"So, gonna tell me where you ran off to?" I smiled.

He looked up at me through his lashes and a little pink blush coloured his face, "it's private, and near enough unaccessible. So if I show you, can we do something..."

"Dirtier?"

He nodded, tongue sliding across lips and dragging his bottom lip between his teeth. My eyes were drawn to his lips, and I asked if he was sure. The old tales he used to tell after nightmares in the orphanage rolled through my mind, of what his uncle used to make him do or the vulgar things he used to say. It was clear where my mind went in my eyes and he teared up. I felt guilty and immediately apologised for bringing it up.

"It's not that. I just remember you saying before that you waited to get more physical because you wanted to be sure I was ready and wanted it after the shit with my uncle. That's sweet, but you don't need to. It might not be the healthiest way to look at it, but I see those years as somebody else's life. That stuff didn't happen to me, it happened to a poor kid too scared to say a word, not the kid who burned them to death and smiles when he remembers. Because I genuinely smile when I remember them screaming. That kid isn't me. I want my Tom to touch me and make love to me. Is that okay with you?"

I nodded, but made him promise me that if it got too much for him and he remembered what that poor little boy went through then he had to tell me to stop and not try to toughen it out. He promised, even if he made it sound like it was for my benefit alone and not his. I pulled both of us up to stand and kissed him as I'd always imagined. Full lip lock, getting my tongue involved so I could swallow his moans like they gave me life.

"Breakfast and then your secret hideout, or the other way around?"

"What do you think?" I grinned, pulling my hand towards the exit. "We can get food where we're going."

A/N: The steam has been planned. Now I just gotta write it and think of a way to end the story...wish me luck