In the end it had been a compromise. They hadn't had that long until graduation and in the meantime they'd kept Hazel with somewhere safe. Grace could remember the month or so leading up to graduation so clearly, her and Simon running to check up on Hazel everyday and trying to discuss what they'd do after they were finished with school. But Grace's plan had won out in the end if for nothing than for her insistence about it. She could remember how Simon had let out that long sigh and conceded that she was right about this.
Grace could remember her graduation too. Family members who she hadn't seen in years, who no doubt gossiped about her behind her back rushing up to give her gifts. Each of them competing to see who's gift could be the most impractical and expensive. Her parents had no clue about her skipping out on prom, so they were at least happy. And the rest of her relatives were so busy being locked in conversation about who had the best present that no one had noticed when she slipped out of her own party.
She'd gathered up the gifts from her family and loaded them into Simon's truck and the two of them along with Hazel had sold them all. Grace figured she should have felt more bad about selling all of the things her relatives had given her on her graduation day, but she really didn't. Not because she was a bad person, but because 24k earrings were more valuable to her future as cash. The earrings had been the last things they sold, the gift from her parents. They didn't match any of her outfits, and they were way too flashy for her.
Of course, they hadn't been about what made sense for her. Like all things, the earrings symbolised what her mother wanted to be true for her. It was that moment, selling the earrings alongside Simon and Hazel, where Grace's memory of the rest of that year became fuzzy. She was lucky that Simon seemed to remember it all so clearly because the eight months that came after were a blur for her. Maybe it was just because so much had happened that she was able to really process it. Whatever the reason it was all vague to her mind.
"What are you thinking about?" Simon asked and suddenly Grace was snapped back to her current reality. She realised that she'd been staring intensely into her cup of tea and shook herself subtly before addressing Simon.
"Nothing, just about how we got here." she responded and Simon gave her that stupid smug smile he always did when he thought he was going to say something clever.
"And how far we've come indeed, you've successfully toned down the intense colors in your fashion choices." he joked and Grace rolled her eyes.
"And you went from having no fashion sense to still having no fashion sense." she responded back and Simon feigned being hurt. The interaction calmed Grace down from her previous thoughts about the incompleteness of her interaction was familiar, Simon was familiar. She thought about other things, like how long ago all of this had happened and that was clear. It had been five years ago that they'd met Hazel and decided to reshape their lives around her. They'd been kids then, they still were kids.
"You're making that face that means you're upset again." he said looking at her from across the table, the smugness on his face replaced with concern. Grace looked away and a sad smile crossed her face.
"Can you remind me again what happened that year?" she asked and Grace didn't have to specify because Simon already knew what year she was talking about, they'd done this before. The worry on Simon's face was replaced with relief as he realized this was what had upset her.
"We sold all of your graduation gifts, plus mine. We took the money and skipped town with Hazel and thanks mostly to the value of your gifts we bought this place in cash. I got a job, you got a job, and we sent Hazel to school." he explained giving a condensed version of events. Grace nodded.
"Thank you." she said honestly. If she had really wanted to she could have recalled that on her own. She didn't have complete memories of those events but she remembered being told by Simon what happened before. Still, she liked to hear him tell it; it grounded her. She looked around their house and smiled because it was theirs'. Filled with little bits of Simon and Grace and Hazel, things that indicated all the love that existed within the walls. She squinted her eyes at a new poster which hung on the wall behind her. "Simon," she said
"Yes," Simon responded nervously.
"If I move that poster is it going to be covering up something that we'll have to fix that you don't want me to worry about?" she questioned and Simon gave his response.
"No, it won't be." he said seriously and Grace looked at him before getting up to look behind it anyway. Just as Simon had said the poster wasn't being used to cover up anything and Grace did feel bad that she hadn't taken him at his word. Turning back around to the table she began to apologize before she saw that Simon had gotten down on one knee.
"I know that this isn't very fancy or elaborate but," he began. "I am really in love with you Grace, and I know that there's no question we'll be together forever but I still want to make it official if that's alright with you." he said sincerely. Grace could feel herself tearing up and simply nodded as she wiped her eyes and willed herself not to burst into tears. Simon stood up and gifted her the ring, in response she gave him a kiss. It was just as intense as their first but with the depth and passion of all that had come after it. After the kiss was broken all Grace could do was chuckle.
"I love you." she said smiling and Simon nodded, their foreheads pressed together as he held her in that kitchen. The two of them could have stayed like that forever so close and in love but as all things that moment had to end. "Let's go pick up Hazel." she said and Simon nodded as the two prepared to go pick up the girl from school. When things had first started their relationship to Hazel had been more like that of older cousins and neither was sure when it had shifted to that of parents, but it had.
Maybe it was the fact that people had often assumed they were her parents anyway. In Grace's opinion she didn't look anymore like them than any other brown skinned child but that had never seemed to matter to anyone. And as far as the school was concerned they were Hazel's parents; though as far as the school was concerned they were also older than they truly were. Grace found that it was easy to get people to overlook things when money was involved, even institutions which were supposed to be free from corruption.
The two pulled up to the school and quickly spotted Hazel who ran to the car and climbed in. Looking at Hazel was always the thing that surprised Grace the most. She'd grown so much over the course of the five years since they'd met. She was taller now, and her hair was longer but most importantly to Grace, she was Hazel who she'd met five years ago was so young and had already gone through so much, but the Hazel who sat in her backseat wore a smile on her face and didn't have a worry in the world.
"I had a good day at school today!" she said excitedly. "Lucy showed me how to make a rubber band bracelet." she explained showing off the bracelet on her wrist. Grace smiled as she looked at the ring on her finger and gestured to Simon, a silent way of asking if he wanted to tell her. He apparently did as he quickly rushed out the information to the little girl.
"We're getting married." he said happily and looked at her. Grace could see Hazel's reaction in the rearview mirror and that meant she could see the girl's jaw practically hit the floor. She quickly began with a million questions a minute about preparation and outfits and venues and whatnot.
"You're really excited about this huh?" Grace questioned and Hazel nodded vigorously.
"It's your fault for making me watch all of those wedding shoes with you, now I'm invested." she responded before adding something else. "Are your parents coming? I want to meet them." Hazel said happily. Grace's grip on the steering wheel tightened but other than that her reaction was negligible. So much of that first year was missing but her mother's reaction was something she could still remember vividly. She'd known when she left that her mother would track her down but she'd hoped that it would be later rather than sooner.
And her mother had gone off on her, told her that she was destroying that family, told her that she was the worst child imaginable. Every trick in the book had been used to try and guilt her but none had worked. Her mother hadn't gotten access to her address thank god but she knew the general area and would pop up, waiting around to find Grace. And when that didn't work she'd be hit with a flurry of texts and phone calls. Even when Simon convinced her to just block her mother's number she would still get messages on any platform that she could find.
Grace chuckled thinking about how many nights she'd lost sleep being terrified that somehow her mother would make her come back, destroying the new life she had. Grace knew now that she couldn't, that her mother was human and nothing more, but back then it was terrifying nonetheless. For years her mother had manipulated her and at the time it felt like she still could. That wasn't the case at all anymore. For the first time maybe in her entire life Grace was one hundred percent sure her mother had no power over her.
"Did I say something wrong?" Hazel questioned at the change in Grace's expression and she waved her off.
"No, you didn't." she responded honestly. "I don't think they'll be coming though, they aren't very nice people." she explained and Hazel nodded seemingly understanding this.
"My mom will be there." Simon said changing the topic of conversation and Hazel lit up again.
"She makes really good cookies!" Hazel exclaimed and the two of them talked about that instead. As Grace pulled into the driveway of their home on that Friday afternoon there was a permanent smile on her face. She wished that she could speak to that scared little girl on the train, or that teenager who felt powerless against her parents and against her trauma. She wanted to tell herself that it got better, that she got better. But, because that wasn't an ability she had Grace would settle instead for being thankful of how far she'd come everyday.
As they walked inside Grace caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror that was in the hallway. She could see her mother in herself, but she was so clearly Grace Monore. Her white dress embroidered with pink flowers would have been far too gauche for her mother. And besides that, everything she was and everything she would be was in her face. She was older now, more mature. She had a child who she'd call her daughter and a fiance who'd be her husband. But more than anything when she looked in the mirror Grace saw who she had been. She had been Grace Monroe, Train Hunter and now she wasn't. She was something better.