"I just have to ask you about something, something Addison said."
"What is it?" He asked, caressing his fingers over her cheek.
"She said I wasn't your first affair. Is that true?"
"Addison told you that?" He asked with a slight frown, "When?"
"The first day she was here," she said, her voice quiet still as she felt the nerves build up in her stomach, keeping her eyes on his, "Was she right?"
"There was one night, a few years ago," Derek started, moving on to his back as he ran his hand over his face, "I was out with Mark and I got quite drunk, and well, I don't remember much of it to be honest. I just remember waking up naked in a hotel room with a random girl and knowing I had done something. And I left."
"And that's the only time?" Meredith asked, her fingers drawing invisible patterns slowly on his upper arm, "She made it sound like you'd done this before."
"I promise you, Meredith," he turned to face her again, capturing her fingers with his and entwining them together, "I have never felt so strongly about someone than I have felt about you. I know I might not seem the most trustworthy given how this relationship started, but I love you. Only you. It'll only ever be you"
His words murmured against her skin as he pressed soft kisses over her fingers, and over her inner wrist before holding her hand close to his chest, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.
"Thank you," she whispered softly, "for being honest with me. I trust you, I do. I've just been replaying the words in my head over the past few days."
"I'm glad you spoke to me about it," he said, pressing another kiss to her lips and one to the tip of her nose, "Now, we should probably get some sleep, we do have that surgery in the morning."
"I just need to go lock up downstairs," she said in a murmur, with a soft smile as she returned a short kiss to his lips, "I'll be right back."
She got out of the bed reluctantly, grabbing her thin robe and putting it on, lifting her hair into a ponytail after doing so. She could feel Derek's eyes on her and she gave him a questioning glance.
"Aren't you going to walk around naked for me?" He asked with a slight smirk, watching as she fastened the robe around her middle.
"Maybe another time, but there's big windows downstairs," she said, returning his slight smirk as she left the room, hearing his soft chuckle as she went downstairs.
She went to the living room, clearing up the empty coffee mugs from earlier and taking them into the kitchen, placing them into the sink before clearing around a little. She checked the back door was locked and turned out the lights before heading to the front door. As she approached, she noticed a small white envelope sat on the door mat, having been posted through the letterbox.
She picked it up, seeing her name written on the front in Addison's familiar handwriting. She sighed softly and decided against opening it right now, instead making sure the front door was locked and the rest of the lights turned off before heading back upstairs. She kept the envelope close to her as she slipped into the bathroom, using the toilet and brushing her teeth before going back into the bedroom.
Derek was still awake, and if he noticed the envelope in her hand, he didn't say anything as she put it in the drawer in her desk. She switched the room light off, turning on the lamp beside her bed instead before closing the curtains, glancing outside a moment into the quiet street, briefly wondering when the envelope had been posted.
"Everything okay?" She heard Derek say from the bed, and she turned to look at him with a soft smile.
"Yeah," she said as she took the robe off, climbing back into the bed beside him, settling with her head against his chest as his arms moved around her.
"Goodnight, baby," he said in a quieter voice, pressing a kiss to her forehead, his fingers running through the end of her ponytail.
"Goodnight," she returned, pressing a soft kiss against his jawline, his head tilting slightly to touch his lips to hers a moment before she settled back against him.
When she woke, the bed was empty and she could smell the coffee aroma coming from close beside her, the sound of the shower indicating Derek's whereabouts. She sat up a little in the bed, picking up the mug of coffee off the bedside table and sipping at it.
She set the mug down again before climbing out of the bed, pulling her robe on and opening up the curtains, the early morning light from the sun streaming through. She walked over to the door adjoining the bedroom and her en-suite, leaning against the doorframe as she watched Derek in the shower, who turned to look at her with a grin.
"Joining me or just watching?" He asked, opening the glass door of the shower.
"Definitely joining," she said with a soft laugh, dropping the robe off her shoulders before stepping into the shower with him.
His arms slid around her waist, moving them so that she was under the water and his lips pressed against hers in a soft kiss.
"Good morning," he murmured softly.
"Good morning," she murmured back, her hands resting against his chest, gently biting her lower lip as she felt his hard length pressing against her.
"Here," he said, picking up the soaped sponge and running it over her body, letting the water rinse away the suds. As the sponge pressed against her lower back, she pressed into him, her fingers sliding into his damp hair as her lips started kissing at his neck.
He dropped the sponge as a low groan sounded from his chest, his hands grabbing at her ass as he lifted her up against the cold tiles, a soft gasp escaping her lips. Her legs locked around his waist as she tilted her head back, beads of water travelling down over her chest and her nipples hardened against his chest from the cool air. Recognising their familiar rhythm, the way they moved together with such synchronisation, his dick slid inside her suddenly, pushing deep between her walls as she moaned his name.
He started to slowly move his hips back and forth as his lips found hers, giving her deep, passionate kisses as the shower water continued to fall around them. His fingers gripped her ass tighter as he thrust up into her faster, and her moans growing louder each time he pushed deeper inside her. Her hands gripped at his shoulders, her fingernails digging into his skin slightly as she steadied herself and her head tilted to the side as he kissed and nipped on the skin of her neck. His movements deep inside her and the grazing of his teeth against her sensitive skin instigated the build up of her climax, the familiar knot tightening with each thrust.
As he hit his own orgasm, his come spilling inside her, her own orgasm released around him, her walls pulsating as she moaned his name out loud, her voice echoing off the tiled walls. Both were breathing heavy as he lowered her back to her feet, attaching his lips to hers in soft kisses.
"We're going to be late for work," he murmured softly against her lips, his fingers gently pushing her damp hair out of her face.
"Do you think my boss can be easily persuaded to not write me up for being late?" She teased, gently nipping his lower lip with a slight tug.
"Quite possibly," he groaned slightly, his hand cupping her cheek, "Perhaps since he is the one making you late, he can cut you some slack."
"I'd be very grateful if he did," she murmured softly before pressing another kiss to his lips.
"I'd stay in bed with you all day if we could," he said quietly, as his lips inched along her jawline to just below her ear, "We'll definitely pick this up later."
She groaned softly as he pressed a last kiss to her lips, lingering a moment before pulling back and stepping out of the shower, and she watched as he wrapped a towel around himself and headed into the bedroom. She quickly snapped out of her slight trance and finished up in the shower before stepping out herself, wrapping a towel around her body and joining him in the bedroom.
They found themselves falling back into the familiar routine they had adopted around each other before everything had seemed to start falling apart, before Addison had turned up, and it felt comfortable. They were dressed and ready to go quickly, and Meredith considered picking up the envelope that had been left on her doorstep last night to read, but in all honesty she had completely forgotten to take it with her.
At the hospital, Addison had already arrived hours previously after being paged in on an emergent case, and had just left the scrub room having lost the mother and only the baby surviving. She ran her hand over her face as the emotions of the situation really hit her and she steadied herself, ready to go and speak to the family involved.
After having kept herself composed, even as the woman's husband had broken down in front of her and had been taken by the comfort of his own family, she found herself aimlessly wandering the halls. How had things become so screwed up?
And she didn't mean the woman dying, that had been a high probability from the start, even though it didn't change how deeply Addison felt the loss. It was Meredith she thought about. She thought about how things had been left three years ago when she'd run away to California. It was no wonder Meredith couldn't give her the time of day, as much as the love may still be there between them. Addison had abandoned her, knowing full well how people had abandoned Meredith so much in the past.
She did love Ryan, and when she'd told him she wanted to marry him, she really did mean it. Seeing Meredith again, that possibility of being with her, the pull was too strong to deny. But Meredith was right. She had Ryan, she had moved on in California, and maybe the jealous, spiteful part of her that had finally realised Derek Shepherd had fallen in love with Meredith Grey, didn't want to see them happy together.
She'd done things over the past week that she regretted, that she never thought she'd be capable of doing. She'd cheated on Ryan, she'd messed Meredith around, and she'd probably lost any friendship she once had with Derek.
Ryan had stayed as well. She had explained and admitted everything to him and he still stayed. He didn't run away. He wasn't happy, and he had made it very clear that Addison had a choice to make, but he hadn't run away. Meanwhile, Meredith was on the brink of running away, of being out of any of their grasps. Addison could only hope Meredith had found the letter that she'd posted through her door last night.
That was painful in itself. She had seen Derek was still at the house, and maybe he was just helping her study, but part of her knew that wasn't the only possibility. She had witnessed the attraction between the pair, and when left alone for any period of time they were like magnets; they were inseparable. It made her green with envy.
Which is why, as she left the on call room she'd disappeared into for privacy during her slight breakdown, and she saw Derek and Meredith walking in through the main doors of the hospital together, not touching but with an obvious energy between them, she made sure to stay out of sight, and to keep them out of her sight as she locked herself away in her temporary office.
Surgery had been exhilarating. They hadn't operated together since before they went away to Napa Valley, and she had missed both the energy in the room and the synchronisation in which they worked as equals - you wouldn't have been able to guess she was only a fifth year resident and he was her attending.
It had been a success and after relaying the good news to the family, they made their way back to his office, still feeling the high between them that previously led them to clandestine meetings in his office, on call rooms, a hotel suite, or sometimes even the backseat of his Porsche. The charged atmosphere that came from holding a life in their hands would stay with them long after the surgery had finished and they had left the operating room.
Meredith found herself itching to touch him, their hands inches from each other, standing outside of his office, but she internally groaned when she saw Alex approaching them, heading straight for her.
"Meredith, there you are," he said, seemingly out of breath, "I've been looking for you for ages."
"I've been in surgery, Alex," she asked with a raised eyebrow, internally wishing he would hurry up and leave, "What's up?"
"I think, erm," he paused for a moment, glancing at Derek beside her before continuing, "I think Addison needs you."
"Addison?" The charged atmosphere between her and Derek immediately dampened at the sound of her name, "I thought she'd gone back to California."
"She was called in early this morning, she lost the patient, Mer," Alex said, a soft edge to his voice as an understanding passed between them, "She's been locked in her office for almost five hours now and doesn't seem to be emerging anytime soon."
"Oh," Meredith breathed out, understanding the gravity of his words as a sinking feeling made itself known in her stomach.
"Please, come and speak to her," Karev said, pleading with her now, something he rarely did, "I know things have been complicated, but I think she needs you."
He gave one last glance to Derek who had been watching the interaction with intrigue, before turning around and heading back the way that he came. Meredith turned to face Derek, feeling herself slightly speechless and unsure what to say. Only moments earlier she'd been happy for them to hide away in his office, get lost in on another. Now, she knew she needed to go and comfort her ex-lover, who she'd essentially rejected only the night before.
"Go, Meredith," Derek spoke first, his voice quiet but with an edge of pain to it that he was trying not to show in his expression.
"I'm sorry," she breathed out, "I'll come and find you soon."
"Just, one minute, please?" He said, taking her hand as he opened the door to his office, gently pulling her inside and closing the door behind them.
He turned to her, gently pressing her against the wall, one hand on her waist and the other gently cupping her cheek. His forehead rested against hers a moment before their lips met in a simple, slow kiss. She could feel the outpour of emotion from him in that single kiss, and she couldn't help but return the same emotion.
"I love you, Meredith," he murmured softly as their lips parted, foreheads still touching, "I need you to know, I love you so much. So insanely much."
"Hey," she responded in a soft voice, her hand reaching his cheek as her fingertips edged against his hair, "I love you too, Derek. That hasn't changed, and that won't change, okay?"
"Okay," he said with a slight nod, turning his face to press a kiss against her palm before taking the hand in his with a gentle squeeze, "I'll see you soon."
"I'll see you soon," she said with a soft whisper, pressing another brief kiss against his lips before slipping out from under his hold and leaving the room. She paused a moment just outside the door, taking a deep breath before finding herself almost jogging in the direction of Addison's office. Maybe she owed her this one last thing.