Episode 13

"So this episode is a flashback? Why?" Dazai inquires.

"Because we're doing fillers."

"Why?"

"We got ahead of the manga." Mori confesses.

"Ha. Great. And it's about me. That's wonderful! I get to be the star!" Dazai cheers.

"It's pretty tragic…" The director warns him.

"Hi, I'm Odasaku. I'm playing Dazai's friend in the Mafia."

"And I'm Ango, the same."

The chaos that greeted Fitzgerald and Kajii is absent for this introduction. It is a quieter day, with nobody acting out at the moment. Casual waves greet the pair.

Dazai stands. "I'm Dazai."

Odasaku and Ango nod at him. Suddenly, Kunikida glares at Dazai. "Dazai, give it back."

Dazai raises his hands. In one is the notebook. "I'm innocent."

"I can literally see it in your hand, Dazai."

"Fiine."

The new pair are befuddled.

"I had to PEE in the middle of a shootout?!" Dazai yells. "That's ridiculous!"

Mori grins. "It suits you."

"They get to drink during the scene?" Chuuya asks. "And I can't?"

"Chuuya, it's only a little, and it's because they're at a bar. You want to chug wine by the bottle and pass out after acting like a madman. That's best saved for when you're not on set."

"But…"

"Who's writing your paycheck?"

"You are…"

"I gotta advocate suicide again!? This is a TV SHOW!"

Odasaku blinks. "You're not really suicidal?"

"Hell no I ain't!" Dazai snaps. "Life is worth it!"

"Not to your character, apparently." Ango deadpans.

"Ooh, nice one." The brunette winces. "Thanks."

Ango snorts. "Only you would take that as a compliment."

"It's a compliment to my acting skill!" Dazai says eagerly.

"OK..." Both Odasaku and Ango say confusedly.

Atsushi draws them to the side. "You'll get used to him eventually. Mostly."

"Fuzzed?"

"Yeah, we're fuzz buddies. Do I really have to say it like fuck buddies? I'm not into redheads or dark haired people. Be they man or woman."

"You're just going to come out like that?" Ango questions.

"We have a gay couple among the cast, Higuchi's also gay, and if someone says something, the rest of us will beat the shit out of them."

"It's not surprising!" Tanizaki enters the room. "The Dazai being bisexual thing. As for the beating up thing, most of us are like family to each other. Work with people for months constantly and that tends to happen. Especially since most of us don't have any family to begin with."

"Makes sense." Odasaku nods.

"CUT!"

"So that's why the show is called Bungou STRAY DOGS!" Atsushi realizes after watching the scene with the others.

"Possibly."

"Come on, man, tell us."

"I just do what the higher-ups ask. They wanted the name so I stuck with it."

"You have a boss, Mori?" Akutagawa asks.

"Yeah, the people funding the show and the Chief of Film Production, who will probably pop in in about a month or two to check on us."

"So do you want a good or bad reception for him?" Naomi inquires.

"For the love of all that's holy, GOOD! He writes my paycheck and I write yours, so please…"

Mock salutes around the room.

Ango fumbles the camera and it goes off before the three are ready.

Gin steals the camera to develop the photo.

In it, Ango is halfway out of his seat, Dazai is yawning, and Odasaku is blinking.

"Heh."

The makeup artist calls Mori in. When he exits, he looks ten years younger.

Dazai frowns. "How come I didn't get a makeup job?"

"Because you're young enough you don't need one." The makeup artist says bluntly.

Mori flinches. "That one stung."

"Why do I have to try to make Elise change her clothes?"

The scriptwriter grimaces. "The script we wrote has you as a pedophile."

"I'M NOT A PEDO!" Mori protests. "I like people my age!"

"It's the script, director. You okayed it."

"That was before I knew it was ME!"

Akutagawa, Tachihara, and Atsushi are listening in with Gin. The latter has a camera pointed at Mori to record the whole thing.

Akutagawa pipes up "Director, as you would say, live with it."

"OOOHH!" Gin and Tachihara hoot. Atsushi laughs.

"Damn, Mori, you have bad handwriting." Odasaku says, then covers his mouth.

"Let me guess, you didn't mean to say that." Mori deadpans.

"Nope." The redhead confirms. "Sorry."

"It's fine…I'm a doctor. We don't have good handwriting as a rule. Also CUT!"

"Are you commanding me as the leader of our organization to respond?"

"No, it's a personal question. Just simple curiosity."

"Then I prefer not to answer."

"Savage." Higuchi whispers from offset.

"CUT! Higuchi, don't do that!"

"How come Hirotsu doesn't need a makeup artist for the flashbacks?"

"He's aged gracefully, unlike you." Dazai snickers.

"Very funny Dazai, now shut up."

Odasaku doesn't dodge fast enough. A paint bullet hits him in the back. He falls to the ground.

"Sorry!" Higuchi calls from the other building, holding the sniper rifle. "I thought he'd dodge!"

"He was SUPPOSED to!" Mori replies. "CUT!"

Odasaku groans from the floor. "Ow…"

"He's sure clever with his hands." Odasaku's nose wrinkles. "That sounds dirty."

"Just like fuzz buddies." Dazai adds. The pair look at Mori.

"It's a coincidence! I swear!"

"Suuure."