NOTES: I apologize for the formatting in the previous chapters. I didn't realize the horizontal lines that separated events/voices weren't coming through. I went back and fixed them. Thank you for reading!

It was a nightly routine for Rey to check her handgun. Though it gave her anxiety to carry it on her person, she regularly released the magazine, cleared the chamber and wiped it down with a soft cloth. She held it, aimed it, memorizing the weight and feel of it in her hand. She would holster it at her side or under her arm and practice drawing it on the pristine white wall of her room.

The gun was indeed a terrifying gift, but Kylo had been the one to give it to her. Holding it connected her with the man who had left such a drastic mark on her life.

The self defense classes also connected them. All those months ago, Kylo had been an intimidating teacher, but he had helped her to realize that she was not defenseless. She and Rose had attended many classes. They'd also started lifting weights together before each class began.

Rey could tell she was stronger than she'd ever been in her life.

All because of Kylo Ren.

Trouble was, Finn had told her to cool it during a few sessions because she was too aggressive with the other participants in class.

"I know I said if you wanna hit hard, you've got to take some hard hits," Finn had said. "I like your fire, but you're taking it to a new level, Sula. You need to back it down a couple notches."

Perhaps Kylo had let her attack him with more ferocity than he should have. It certainly wouldn't be good to give someone else in her class a black eye or a broken limb. Perhaps Kylo had just wanted to give her every chance to know how to defend herself and made his attacks more real than Finn allowed in class. She made sure to be more gentle with the people who were learning alongside her.

At night, nestled in a bed fit for a princess, when the quiet weighed heavy on her and there wasn't anything to distract her mind, she thought of him. Sleep would elude her when the day's work hadn't exhausted her. Sometimes she would dream of him, foreboding in all black, his face devoid of emotion, but his eyes… His hot eyes never left her in dreams. She longed to know where he was and if he was okay.

She didn't want to forget him, and she feared she would never see him again.

It hurt.

Would she be able to get over him?

The life she now led wasn't really her own. Han and Leia were wonderful to her and she was growing more fond of them as time moved on.

They'd given her a job and a place to stay, but she knew she couldn't make their house her permanent home. She knew she couldn't turn them into her very own family. She couldn't even use her own name.

Rey was adrift, so she held on tight to the things that made her feel like herself: work, the handgun, and the classes.

Most nights she drifted off to uneasy sleep. Hidden dangers, unseen phantoms and dark shadows followed her. She couldn't fight against what she couldn't see.

And Kylo had left her all alone.

She startled awake most mornings, drained and exhausted from the nightmares that plagued her.

She began to carry her gun. After leaving the Solo Flight hangar or the gym in the evenings, she had the sinking feeling that she was being watched.

Rey held on to the scrap of paper that had Kylo's number written on it. It had been a few weeks since Han had given it to her. Her nerves had failed her every time she picked up a phone to dial.

But tonight was different.

The hole in her chest wasn't healing. It had been difficult for Rey to form relationships growing up in an orphanage, and even afterward. Kids would come and go. The ones that stayed were usually already hardened by the unfair and unfavorable experiences of their young lives. Teedo and Meru had been friends, but they'd shared very little in common with each other besides a house and living expenses.

Something special had happened during her time with Kylo Ren. An unsevered connection tethered them together even now. She wanted to hear his voice. She wanted to be near him. Maybe a phone call would suffice for the time being.

Alone in her own room at the Solo house, she picked up her new cell and punched in the same numbers Han had written out in his sloppy penmanship. She took some deep breaths before she connected the call.

Her pulse roared in her ears and her breath was too loud as she listened to the ringing on the line.

He didn't answer.

She ended the call and flopped back on her bed in slight relief.

It wasn't late. Where was he staying? What was he doing? She closed her eyes, afraid she was bordering on the obsessive.

She had no hold over Kylo Ren, nor did he of her. If only she could notify her heart of their no-go status. Rey had never had a boyfriend. Not that Kylo was her boyfriend. Or that he even wanted to be. Ugh.

She decided to try one more time. And if he didn't answer, she wouldn't bother him again.

She dialed.

Ringing.

Waiting. Then…

"Ren."

She sat up with an audible gasp, phone clutched to her ear. Oh, shit. He sounded pissed. Why was he pissed?

This was a mistake.

"Who is it?"

She scraped a palm over her forehead.

"It's Rey," she breathed.

He cursed. "Are you all right? What's happened?"

She huffed, falling backward on her bed.

"No, it's not… I'm fine. I just wanted…"

She stared blankly up at the ceiling.

"I don't know why I called." This was stupid. She was so stupid.

There was rustling on the other end of the line. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything."

"I'm not following, Rey."

"It's good to hear your voice." She smiled. "So good."

"Rey, I don't think we…"

"How are you?"

Kylo grunted.

Rey waited, but he said nothing. Fine. He could listen.

"You shouldn't have given me all that money. I don't feel right taking it. I work for Han Solo now. I can earn my own way." Irritation laced her words.

Speaking of Han…

"Do you know how much he misses you? How much Leia misses you? It breaks my heart every day because I can see their utter devastation. Every day, Kylo. You have two parents who give a damn about you. Do you know how much I wish that I…"

She couldn't say out loud how much she wished she'd had parents like Kylo's. She sighed.

"I know your real name," she continued. "And I know about Luke—"

"Stop." She heard him take several trembling breaths. "Stop."

She clamped her teeth together. "I suppose nothing I say will make a difference to you."

"Why would you want it to?" he grumbled in her ear.

"Because I care. I care about you. I care about your parents."

Silence.

She released a frustrated sound. "I shouldn't have called."

"You shouldn't care about me."

"I can't seem to help it," she admitted woefully.

There was a hitch in his breathing. "I'm not like you."

"No," she replied. "I know that. And that's why it's scary."

"You should be scared," he whispered.

Rey swallowed hard.

In a tormented voice, Kylo said, "I'm the one who killed Luke."

After a sleepless night Rey bumped into Han the next morning in the kitchen. The sun had yet to rise. It was gloomy out, just like her soul.

"Hey, kid. You look like you had a horrible night. You sick?"

Bleary-eyed and dragging, Rey shook her head. Her gaze settled on Han's steaming mug of caf. She'd never been a fan of the beverage, but today she would make an exception.

"May I?" she pointed to the caf maker.

"Have at it," Han said, taking a sip from his own mug.

Once poured, Rey sat down and gathered her mug close. She held her face over the steam and breathed.

"I called him last night," she murmured into the quiet kitchen.

Han's mug hit the counter with a clack. "I'm gonna take a wild guess that it didn't turn out so well."

She bit her lip and rolled her shoulders, cracking her neck in the process. "Can I ask you a painful question?"

Han was looking right at her, a frown pulling at his wrinkled face and scarred chin. "Spit it out."

Her eyes fell back down to her mug and she gripped it tight.

"How did Luke die?"

He breathed slowly in and out, blinking hard before he said, "It was his heart."

She could hear the rasping sound of his hand running over the stubble on his chin. "We found him in the yard. Slumped over in the sandbox. He still had a toy plane in his hand. It was like he had just fallen over to take a nap.

"But he wasn't breathing." He spun his mug in a circle on the counter.

"Autopsy showed he had a condition, uh, a defect in the heart. It went undetected because he was healthy. Well, we thought he was a healthy kid. But he had always been such a little thing.

"The Doc said it was only a matter of time before… the end."

They both sat quietly for some time.

"I'm so sorry," she finally said.

Rey wanted to ask Han about Ben. Had he been mistaken about Luke? All these years, did he really think he'd killed his little brother? Should she tell Han?

When she looked up again, Han had his hand at his forehead, rubbing his fingers back and forth across his brow.

No.

She didn't want to add to his grief. Her speculation would only heap more pain into this heartbroken house.

Kylo thought he'd killed Luke. But that most likely wasn't true.

She didn't believe it.

Couldn't believe it.

Yet, Kylo Ren had gone on to become a professional killer.

At the time he'd run away from home, he had already thought he was capable of murder, and it seemed like he'd just given in to the monster he believed himself to be.