CW: Drug use, child neglect
Thank you for reading! I apologize this one is a bit late. I'm in one of the latest timezones and also working retail during the Holidays :)
It turned out Jamie had a lot more opinions for a wedding than anyone expected– including herself. She insisted on having the wedding in the early fall for peak moonflower season. She spent all spring and summer tending to a moonflower plant along the back of their yard, where the ceremony and after party would be held. She also refused to hire out for the bouquets or centerpieces ("I don't trust anyone in this damn place", she said). Flora was vocal about her opinions, too, and Jamie and Dani let her have some say in the planning, within reason. The girl got to help pick out accent colors and her flower girl dress. Jamie even enlisted her help with the arrangements.
Though it was a small wedding, some people were still travelling in from other places and they all showed up a few days before the ceremony. Owen slipped easily back into his spot in the guest room and as a key member of the family. The more time went on, the more Owen came out for visits. He missed the four of them and had a hard time staying away, but he also wouldn't leave his restaurant in Paris for anything.
Jamie labored over the decision to invite her brothers. They weren't the closest siblings, especially being separated so young, but they had made an effort to reconnect in their early 20s. A few times a year they would call each other and awkwardly pass around small talk. Still, Denny had invited Jamie to his wedding and she went so, in the end, she sent them invitations and they both confirmed their attendance shortly after. She sat with them now, catching up a bit over some drinks.
"Dad says hi," Denny said. He was a big man, tall with dark features. He didn't particularly resemble Jamie, not enough that you would realize they were siblings on the street. The one on Jamie's other side, Mikey, looked like a carbon copy of her despite the fact they didn't even share the same father. He was wearing a short sleeve shirt and his entire right arm all the way up to his neck and part of his lower cheek were covered in burn scars.
Jamie let out a humorous scoff. "No he didn't, fuckface." She took a drag of her cigarette.
Denny took it from his sister and took his own drag while he laughed, too. "He actually said, 'I'll walk her down the aisle when it's a man waiting for her and until then she's a whore just like her mother'."
This was how they dealt with their father who had lung problems and anger issues after the trauma of working in the mines for so long. They laughed so that his words didn't hurt so much. So Jamie laughed again. "Who said I'm having anyone walk me down the aisle?"
"That's my sister," Mikey cried and bumped her arm with her fist. "Now stop hogging that damn cig, you two."
After a bit, Jamie excused herself and meandered through the backyard to Owen and Dani. She set her hand on Dani's lower back as she came up behind her wife. "Hey."
"Owen says we got bad caterers," Dani mused.
"Now, that is not what I said," Owen responded. "I said I don't trust caterers that don't make batter puns while doing cake tastings. Unprofessional, if you ask me."
Jamie sighed and shook her head, "I tried to tell her, Owen, I did. Said, 'get Owen on the phone and let him sort them out'."
Owen pointed at Jaime, "Now, that is the kind of rational thinking I was looking for."
"Do you mind if I steal her away for a moment?" Jamie asked. Owen waved them on and found Ellie on the other side of the yard. Just the two of them, Jamie led Dani over to the wall of moonflowers.
Dani smiled and took in the winding leaves. "No matter how many times I look at this, I can't help but think you did an amazing job." After an elongated silence from her wife, Dani turned to look at Jamie, concerned.
"Uh, look," Jamie started. She stumbled over her words, anxious. Finally, she took a sharp breath and rushed out her words. "Remember Flora's little Christmas wish from last year?"
The topic soothed Dani and she snickered, "Oh, yeah, that. She's ridiculous."
Jamie took a deep breath. Even more anxious energy exuded from her. "I want to talk about that again. Not because Flora asked, but because I am."
"Oh," Dani's face dropped from humorous to serious. "I had no idea, I–."
"Mums?" Miles interrupted, before Dani could continue. He stopped in the grass in front of them and pointed a thumb over his shoulder. "Someone named Louise is here. She's in the living room."
"Oh, bloody hell," Jamie cried. She set her jaw and stomped through the backyard straight up to her brothers. "Which one of you shites told her?" Both stared blankly back at her. "Fucking cowards." Then, she continued her angry trek to the sliding glass doors.
Dani ran through the yard. "Jamie, hold up."
When Dani finally caught up to Jamie, her wife stood before a short woman in her late forties, early fifties. The woman had long dark brown hair lightly peppered with grey streaks and a blue dress covered by a white cardigan. At the sight of Jamie, she smiled and her eyes crinkled. "Oh, Jamie. It's so good to see you."
"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" Jamie yelled. It sent the smile straight off her mother's face. "I told you years ago, I wasn't interested in having you back in my life. So, what, you think my wedding is a good time to decide you deserve a place at the table? You're so selfish, just like before."
Her mom stepped closer to Jamie, but Jamie raised her hands up and took two more steps back. It made her mom look defeated, but Jamie couldn't care less. "Listen, I made a mistake, I was young."
Jamie shook her head. "You don't get to make that excuse. You were too young to raise kids? What about me, mum? I was more of a kid than you and I was left behind to raise Mikey. Or did you forget, huh? I'm sure they told you when they took your rights away."
Louise pressed her eyes closed and crinkled her lips as if she was feeling nauseous. "Please, Jamie. I don't like thinking about that."
"Well, I have to think about it every day, don't I? Every time I look in the mirror or shower." She maneuvered her arm from the top of her dress, disregarding the now visible bra, and spun around so her mother could see the burn scar across her shoulder. "Does this jog your memory? Or should I bring Mikey in here?"
"Jamie–," Dani started.
Jamie refused to look back at her. "Lay off, Dani. I want to hear her say it."
Dani left her position in the door and stood behind her wife. "Is this really necessary?"
"Yeah, actually. It is," Jamie finally whipped her head around to look at Dani. Her stern eyebrows and tight jaw threw Dani off– she'd never seen Jamie like that. "This wasn't some little mistake. Mikey almost died. I was in the hospital for weeks. She's never taken responsibility for the consequences of her actions and yet still thinks she can waltz back in here like nothing happened. So, either butt out and shut up or go back outside."
Jamie's words made Dani stumble back a bit. She didn't know what to say or do, but she was frozen there in shock. Louise's eyes pressed closed. "There was a fire."
"That's right. What happened?" Jamie pushed.
Louise shook her head. "I don't really know the specifics–."
"Sure you don't," Jamie scoffed. A darkness passed over her face as she recalled. "I was hungry. All that was left in the house was spaghetti noodles. No sauce, no butter, not even any olive oil. Put a pot on the stove to boil water. Mikey started crying, the water boiled over. So I set him up on the counter to clean it up, but I forgot to turn the burner off. Went to get another towel and when I came back, the stove top had gone up in flames. He'd picked up the dirty towel and dropped it on the gas flame. He was already burnt so badly and when I went in to grab him, I got burned as well."
"I'm so sorry," Louise whispered.
"Why was I, a seven year old, doing that myself?" Jamie pressed further.
Louise whimpered a bit as she answered. "Because I left you."
"That's right, mum," Jamie said. She put her arm back in her shirt and pulled the sleeve over her shoulder. "You left so you don't get to decide when you can come back into my life. Now get out of our house."
The older woman paused for a moment and then slowly exited. Before she closed the door behind her, she looked over her shoulder one last time. Jamie only stood there, glaring at her mom, with her arms crossed until the door finally shut.
"Jamie, I'm so sorry," Dani cried.
Jamie brushed past her wife and back to the backyard. As she walked by Dani, she hissed, "Save it."
Overwhelmed, Dani hovered in the kitchen a bit, wiping down the countertops and picking up some trash. After a couple of minutes, she returned to the yard and chatted with Ellie and Owen a bit. Shortly after Ellie and a few others decided to call it a night, Jamie called over from the table where she sat with her brothers.
"Oi, Dani," she called. It was clear that, in the past hour, Jamie had hit the beers kind of hard. Dani turned around with raised eyebrows at the disrespectful demand of her attention. Jamie gestured to her siblings. "We're gonna go to the pub and get a couple more pints. You got everything under control here, yeah?"
Before Dani could even respond, Jamie, Mikey, and Denny all stood up and left through the side entrance. "Okay," Dani said, under her breath. "Guess I'll just clean up and get the kids to bed by myself."
"I'm happy to help," Owen answered. He rolled up his sleeves and got to work gathering plates and cups.
Dani thought Jamie would come home after a few hours out. When ten o'clock hit, she told herself that Jamie didn't see her brothers often and they deserved a little time together. At eleven, she started worrying that something bad happened. At midnight, she realized that Jamie was probably fine, just partying late into the night. It wasn't something that happened often so even though Dani felt sure some of it was out of pettiness, she went to bed only mildly frustrated. At two in the morning, she was jolted awake by the sound of something shattering.
For a moment, Dani started to panic. She wondered if someone was breaking into the house, but it didn't quite sound like that. It wasn't glass that broke. It sounded heavier, more like something ceramic– probably a dish. Owen wouldn't walk into a kitchen that wasn't his own for a midnight snack no matter how comfortable he was there and the kids had dedicated snacks for midnight hunger. None of those snacks required plates or cups. It had to be Jamie, drunk off her ass, and wanting some food.
She was right. There, in the kitchen, Jamie was sweeping up shards of a broken plate. "Fuck," Jamie whispered when she caught sight of Dani. "You heard that?"
Dani crossed her arms, "Kind of hard to miss."
"I remembered Owen made food."
Jamie's movements were exaggerated and over the top. It was as if, instead of talking with her hands, she was talking with her entire body. It wasn't typical of someone after a night of drinking. No drowsiness clouded her words, nor were they slurred. Her movements, while choppy, weren't entirely uncoordinated. She didn't seem to have a hard time walking. It was the way she was smiling, though, that tipped Dani off the most. She took the broom out of Jamie's hands and tried to look into her eyes.
"What are you doing?" Jamie cried. She tried to duck away, but Dani just grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She still avoided eye contact, but that didn't matter because Dani found her answer.
Behind them, two pairs of feet padded down the stairs. "Is everything okay?" Miles asked. He was standing a couple stairs higher than Flora, both of them groggy with sleep. Jamie turned her back to the children as Dani turned to face them.
"Just go back to bed," Dani said. Neither one moved as they surveyed the scene. She plastered a smile on her face. "Everything's fine, don't worry. Go back to bed." They were hesitant, but both were tired and didn't need much more urging to go and sleep.
Once the sound of their bedroom doors closing echoed down the stairs, Jamie tried to open the fridge from where she stood a few feet to its left. "I just need a snack and then I'll be good."
Dani pushed the door back closed. "Are you high?" She asked, but she already knew the answer.
"What?" Jamie cried, feigning offense. "I'm not high."
"I can see it in your eyes," Dani stated. "What are you on?"
Jamie leaned up close to Dani's face, staring her down, "I'm not high." Her voice raised in volume and was incredibly harsh, but Dani was not phased. Knowing the game was up, Jamie threw her fist behind her and slammed it into the cupboard.
"Jesus, Jamie, you're going to wake the kids up again," Dani snapped. She looked over her shoulder at the stairs. When she was sufficiently convinced they were in the clear, she returned her focus to Jamie. "What are you on?"
Jamie brushed the front of her hair over the top of her head and sighed. "Coke. Mikey had some–."
"I don't care," Dani cut her off. She ran her hands over her face. "I know it was hard having your mom show up like that today. I know I wasn't being supportive and I'm really sorry. So, I'll give you a pass. But, just this one time."
"I'm sorry, Dani. It really isn't a big deal, though." Jamie tried to step closer to Dani, but she shook her head and Jamie stopped in her tracks.
"No, it is. It is a big deal and deep down you know that." Dani leaned against the island counter and stared at the ground, still dumbfounded. When Jamie had told her a year before about her history with cocaine, she sounded so sure that it was all in her past. It scared Dani how it could so easily become her present again. "You can't go down this path."
"It was one time," Jamie cried.
"I have no way of knowing that," Dani snapped back. "You have two amazing kids upstairs who love you and who have already experienced so much pain. Don't they deserve a stable home? Don't they deserve more than what we had at their age? And what about you, Jaime? What about us? I don't want to spend our relationship wondering if I'm going to find you in the bathroom or get a call from an EMT that you overdosed. We got rid of one Lady in the Lake already, we don't need another one."
Whether or not Jamie's one time relapse of cocaine was going to worsen, or even happen again, Dani was right. They had no way of knowing and it wasn't worth the gamble to stay quiet now in hopes it would just disappear. And Jaime, in her adamance that it wouldn't happen again, had not thought about it in the way Dani described. When she compared it to the Lady, Jaime's composure faltered. Tears slipped down her face.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Sit down over there while I clean this up and get you a snack," Dani said. Anger stirred inside her, but she knew that right now, she was fighting for Jamie. Her reaction was going to either strengthen Jamie's trust in her or push her further away. Jamie was hurting and somewhere, somehow, it felt easiest for her to convey it to Dani by getting high. She needed a few hard truths, but mostly just compassion.
With some of the leftovers from the party in the microwave, Dani quietly began to sweep up what was left of the broken plate and dump it into the trash. She sat next to Jamie as she ate, processing the whole night. After a bit, Jaime started to come down so Dani took her up to bed and the two fell asleep next to each other.
The next day, Jamie slept until noon so Dani, Flora, Miles, and Owen began the wedding preparations by themselves. While Owen made breakfast and coffee, he took advantage of the few quiet moments before the kids barged downstairs to eat.
"You okay?" Owen asked Dani. His eyes conveyed understanding and Dani remembered the guest bedroom was just off the kitchen. He probably heard everything the night before. She nodded, though not convincingly. "How's Jaime?"
"Still asleep. I'm still shocked," Dani said.
"You know, she told me a bit about her history once," Owen started. "Not a lot, by any means, but enough that I could see she's got a will about her. She's not gonna go easy and with you by her side, I think she's got a good chance of letting it be a blip."
Dani gave him a grateful smile, but Miles and Flora came into the kitchen arguing loudly, so she picked up a platter of food and brought it to the table. They asked about Jamie and Dani promised she would be awake soon.
At noon, Owen was busy organizing with the caterers and Dani watched Miles and Flora set out chairs in the backyard from the window of the bathroom in her and Jamie's room. She had just gotten out of the shower and was applying lotion to her legs when Jamie walked in.
Jamie sat on the lip of the bath and scratched her nose. "Good morning," she started. It was an awkward greeting and she winced a bit at herself. Dani continued in silence, trying to figure out what to say.
Finally, Dani put the lotion away and picked up some shorts, but she didn't put them on. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I was completely plastered last night," Jamie said. She snuck a peak at Dani to see if her joke lightened the mood, but Dani's only response was to press her lips together. Jokes weren't going to get her out of this one. "I messed up last night. Big time."
Dani stepped into the shorts and sat down next to Jamie on the edge of the tub. "Why didn't you just talk to me about it?"
"I don't– I don't know," Jamie shook her head.
"What do you need me to do so you feel like you can come to me next time?" Dani asked.
"This isn't your fault, Dani," Jamie said. "It's on me. I knew better than to use that as a coping mechanism. I just have to be better about checking myself, is all."
Dani set her hand on Jamie's and it made her wife look over hopefully. "You're not in this alone. I know I can't fix this, but I can help you so it feels a little easier for you to make a different choice. Just tell me what you need."
Jamie rested her open palm on Dani's cheek and ran her thumb over her smooth skin. "I'll think about it and get back to you, yeah?" She stood up, saying she was going to get clean clothes. Before she could leave, Dani called her name and she paused in the doorway. "Yeah, Blue Eyes?"
"You're worth the effort, too," Dani said. It made Jamie turn all the way around. The way her eyes widened and her face softened, Dani could tell that no one had ever said that to Jamie before. So, she stood up and pulled her in for a long hug, kissing her forehead as she went. "I love you."
"We still getting married tomorrow, or–," Jamie stopped and laughed, hoping Dani would laugh too and she did. She pulled her even closer to her chest. "There's that laugh. I'm sorry I ever made it go into hiding."
The two figured that since they had considered themselves married for nine months at that point, the whole 'it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding' thing didn't apply to them as much so they slept in the same bed. Owen surprised them with breakfast the next morning and left the tray in the hallway.
An hour later, as the two made their way from the bedroom still in their pajamas, Flora rushed down the hallway and wrapped her arms around Jamie's waist, almost causing her to tip over with the tray in her hand. "Careful," Jamie cried.
"She's just excited for the big day, as am I," Miles said. The two had always been very sweet people, but ever since they slipped into the casual relationship family members usually have with each other, a bit more angst and unruliness surfaced. It wasn't often that the two were this sweet anymore so Dani narrowed her eyes a bit at them.
"What do you two have up your sleeves?" She asked.
Flora grabbed one of Dani's arms and one of Jamie's arms. "You must come to my room," she insisted.
As she yanked on Jamie's arm, the tray slipped a bit until Dani caught it with her free hand. "Flora, what did I just say?" Jamie snapped. But, the young girl was already running off to her room so Jamie set the tray down on the ground and followed.
Flora picked something up off the window seat and brought it over to Dani and Jamie. "What's this?" Dani asked.
It was a store-bought card to congratulate a wedding, except the front depicted the silhouette of two women in white dresses holding hands and a bouquet of flowers each. Dani flipped it over and, sure enough, there was an official logo on it representing one of the biggest card making companies. Jamie reached over and touched it, as if she couldn't believe it wasn't handmade.
"How'd you get that?" Jamie asked, in awe.
"It was all Flora," Miles said, nudging his sister. "Tell them."
She blushed a bit and dipped her head. "Remember when Owen came over Valentine's Day?" Both Dani and Jamie nodded. Owen asked if he could come out then. Understandably, Valentine's Day was a hard day for him and he didn't want to be alone. The two happily said yes and took it as an opportunity to take a weekend trip. "Well, he took us to the store to get presents and I was looking at the cards to try to find you one, but there weren't any for two women, you see. I got very cross and Owen said, that much anger deserves to be heard. So I wrote down every card company on the shelves and sent them all letters."
"All of them?" Jamie asked. "Blimey, how many did you send?"
"At least twenty," Miles said. "I licked all the envelopes and got a bunch of paper cuts on my tongue."
Jamie looked at Dani, both had tears welling in their eyes, both smiling.
"One of them wrote back and asked if I had any suggestions, so I told them what I wanted to give you for your wedding and then they sent me this shortly after," Flora touched the corner of the card.
Dani leaned down until she was eye level with the girl. "Is this who your mysterious pen pal all summer was?" Flora let out a mischievous grin and nodded.
"Open it, silly," Flora insisted.
So, Dani stood back up and held the card between the two of them. She flipped it open. There was a beautiful drawing of a moonflower printed in the center and the typed out cursive lettering read, 'Love is love and you two make it look easy. Congratulations on your Happily Ever After'. Around it, was a handwritten note and Dani read it aloud.
"'We're so lucky to be your children, if only in love. Every day, you show us how to be good people and how to love others. It doesn't matter what others think, you are married. We all know it and that's what matters. Lots of love, Miles and Flora'." Dani's breath caught in her throat.
"I know it's in her handwriting, but it's better than mine. We came up with it together, though," Miles said. Then, he looked back at his sister. "You didn't even tell them the best part. Go on."
Again, Flora blushed a bit. "They're going to sell them, too. Starting in November, I think. There's going to be a whole bunch of kinds. Like for Valentine's Day."
Jamie giggled a bit through her tears, the kind of giggle that bursts from pure joy. "You, little miss, have such a good heart. And you, Miles, are so kind to encourage your sister and help her follow her heart. Come here, you too." She pulled both close at the same time and, when she let them go, Dani gave both a hug as well.
"This," Dani held up the card, "was the best present anyone could ever give us."
"Are you going to put it on the mantle with the other important things?" Flora asked. The mantle in the living room was where they kept family pictures (including ones of Charlotte, Dominic, and Hannah) and a few knick knacks.
"Right in the center," Jamie nodded.
The two women let the tray stay in the hall and quietly tucked themselves back in their room where they examined the card again. Jamie tilted Dani's head closer to her and kissed her temple.
"Those kids," Dani shook her head. "Wow, they're amazing. How do they still have so much love to give after everything they've lost?"
"They've got you to show them how to do it, Blue Eyes. That's all they need," Jamie said.
Dani let her body fall against Jamie's and Jamie wrapped her arms around her. "Not true, they need you, too. She didn't get that fire from me, you know. That one's all you, telling her to punch bullies."
Jamie laughed, "I stand by that advice."
"Maybe another one wouldn't be so bad," Dani said. And then she clarified, "Maybe."
Thanks for reading! Leave a comment and let me know what you think!