Chapter 13
Unread...
There was a moment of silence between the two. Polybius studied Harley Quinn to see what she was going to do. However, all she did was sit down in a chair not too far from him and smiled.
"I like you, Polybius." Harley said.
"A lot of people do." Polybius replied, "I know the Joker said he did the one time I met him."
"Fuck the Joker!" Harley shouted angrily, taking Polybius off guard.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Polybius said, "I thought you two were together."
"Not anymore!" Harley said, "I dumped him for the worthless garbage he was!"
"Well, congratulations!" Polybius cheered.
"Thank you." Harley replied, clearly a little confused by Polybius's response, "But why are you congratulating me?"
"Cause I know he didn't treat you right." Polybius stated, "Batman hasn't told me much, but I know Robin's said a few things here and there I've picked up on. I'm surprised you didn't do it earlier."
"Well, he really had me under his thumb." Harley admitted, "But when he left to join the Injustice League without me and left me for dead, I decided that enough was enough."
"Well, I'm glad you ended that toxic relationship." Polybius cheered.
"I just wish I could smash his face in!" Harley stated angrily.
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, the last time I saw him, I roasted the shit out of him." Polybius said, "Told him he looks like Ellen Degeneres."
Harley laughed before saying, "He does! Why did I never realize that!?"
This led to a brief moment of silence before Polybius started talking again.
"So, uh, if you don't mind me asking if the Joker isn't behind this and directing this, why did you kidnap me?" Polybius asked.
"Because I want to prove to everyone that I'm not a D-list villain!" Harley declared.
"Okay…" Polybius said, "What do you mean?"
This caused a change in Harley's attitude as she let out a long sigh and dropped her head.
"It ain't easy going solo." Harley said, "Ever since I split with Joker, I've been trying to prove myself, ya know? But all I'm getting is C and D list heroes if any. I'm not getting any of the A-listers like Batman or Superman."
"So you want to be feared?" Polybius questioned.
"Of course!" Harley said, "I wanna be seen as a great villain! Not some low life criminal!"
"Pizza's here!" Poison Ivy interrupted the two.
Ivy then walked in with three pizzas. She freed Polybius's arms just enough to where he could feed himself and joined the two in the room by making a seat out of vines.
"So, back to my question." Polybius said, "Why did you kidnap me?"
"I… I don't know." Harley admitted.
"I thought you wanted to get the attention of the Justice League!" Ivy countered.
"I did!" Harley said, "But I don't think they're gonna care too much if their janitor vanishes off the face of the Earth."
"Eh, you're a little wrong there." Polybius said, "I know Mom and Wonder Girl are gonna freak out."
"Are you dating Wonder Girl?" Ivy asked.
"It's… complicated." Polybius said, "We're not officially a thing, but we sorta are, not really."
"How?" Harley asked.
"Well, as you know, with her being an Amazon, the idea of her dating a man is, uh, not really one she wants to get out. So we just say we're 'best friends cause we've been through a lot together, and we can get away with that. But I know she wants to take it further but is more scared of how her sisters and mother would react if they found out that she was dating me. So we are just really close friends instead." Polybius explained.
"Makes sense." Ivy agreed.
"Yeah, well, thing is… I think she needs to step back from me." Polybius stated.
"She's clingy?" Harley asked.
"Honestly, I've been enabling it." Polybius admitted, "I should have done what I'm doing now a long time ago. Gotten her professional help."
"Is she messed up?" Ivy asked.
"Oh yeah." Polybius said, "She does a really good job of hiding it from everybody, but she's… She's been through a lot, and I am her comfort and support person."
"So she's totally dependent on you?" Harley asked.
"One hundred percent." Polybius said, "I just hope my Mom can help her."
"You're Mom's a therapist?" Harley asked.
"No." Polybius lied in an effort to protect his mother, "But I'm hoping that by bringing somebody else I trust in, I can get her off her dependence on me and finally confront the issues she's been avoiding all these years."
"If I weren't a villain, I would offer my help." Harley stated, "I was a therapist before I became Harley Quinn. A good one too."
"Didn't know that." Polybius said.
"Yeah." Harley said, "That was before Joker ruined me."
"Well, going back to my original question, and let me see if I'm understanding this right, you kidnapped me either in the hopes of attracting the attention of the Justice League or just cause you could?" Polybius asked.
"Just cause we could." Harley stated, "And… honestly, I don't know what we're doing. I don't want Wonder Girl. I want Wonder Woman! If that's all we're gonna get, then let's cut him loose."
"Hey now, hold on!" Polybius said, "I think we can help each other here."
"We can?" Harley asked.
"Oh yeah!" Polybius said, "You see, you have a small error in judgment about my relationship to the League. Fact is, they love me. You're gonna get the attention of A-listers like Superman and Wonder Woman, I promise."
"Really!?" Harley piped up.
"Unless the B-listers up there get to me first, they'll show. Hell, they'll probably show up together." Polybius said.
"Alright!" Harley cheered.
"I just have one request to make." Polybius said.
"You want to make a request?" Ivy said, "You're not really in a position to make requests."
"Well, just hear me out." Polybius said, "You see, all of my friends and family are heroes and are either in, or have extremely close ties to the Justice League. I literally have no one on the outside to talk to. I wouldn't mind if you all held on to me until Thanksgiving."
"And why would we do that?" Ivy asked.
"Cause I promise you, if you threaten to do stuff to me, they'll most likely listen. That, and we can also help Wonder Girl!" Polybius pointed out.
"Like we care about her." Ivy said.
"Now hold on." Harley said, "I like where Polybius is going with this! Think about it! We might be able to get the heroes to commit crimes for us!"
"I'm trying to protect the environment!" Ivy countered, "I agreed to help you with this, so you'd stop nagging me."
"But think about it!" Harley said, "If what Polybius is saying is true, just think about what we could do."
"Well, first off, you've gotta find a different place." Ivy said, "Remember, you being in my apartment is supposed to be temporary."
"I'll help do the chores." Polybius offered.
Ivy looked at him for a moment and then back at Harley.
"Alright, he can stay." Ivy agreed.
"Now hold on." Harley said, "How do we know he isn't gonna escape?"
"I'm in a freaking wheelchair!" Polybius said, "I'm no Joe Swanson, I'm not going anywhere fast."
"Oh yeah." Harley said, "Alright then, we have our hostage!"
"How should we let the League know we have him?" Ivy said.
"Oh! I know! Let's let him call his Mom, begging for help!" Harley said, "Have her desperately appeal to the Justice League, and give them a closed channel to contact us on so they can't track us!"
"Yeah." Polybius said, "That should work."
"Alright!" Harley said, "Good thing we stole those high tech phones from LexCorp. Batman shouldn't be able to track them, right?"
"No, he shouldn't." Ivy agreed, "At least, so long as the calls stay short."
"Sweet!" Harley said.
"Or you could text them a video of, I don't know, Ivy, having a pea plant shoved up my nose, threatening to crush my brain on the inside if they attempt anything." Polybius offered.
"I'm not gonna put a poor pea plant through that!" Ivy said.
"Then get another plant you don't like!" Polybius said, "There's gotta be one asshole plant around here you can use, right?"
"There is one green bean stock that has been giving me an attitude…" Ivy admitted.
"Perfect." Polybius said.
"But I like the phone call!" Harley whined.
"Then let's do both!" Polybius said, "We do the call first and then send the video to Mount Justice to get everyone involved!"
"That's brilliant!" Harley agreed, "Do a good old double whammy!"
"Yeah." Polybius agreed, "Now, bind me up again so we can make this convincing!"
Ivy then wrapped Polybius up in the vines again, and Harley Quinn went and retrieved one of the phones. It didn't take her long to come back with them, and it took even less time to setup.
"Hold on." Polybius said, "To make it even better, we need to have a caller ID for me. If it's some random number, she may not pick up."
"So pop in your sim card?" Ivy asked.
"Bingo." Polybius said.
After popping Polybius's sim card into the new phone, it didn't take long for Harley Quinn to get to his contacts and call Polybius's adoptive mother. She put the phone up to Polybius's ear and let it ring. However, much to everyone's surprise, she didn't pick up.
"What mother doesn't pick up when their own kid calls them?" Harley asked.
"Well, she's probably getting dicked down." Polybius bluntly commented.
"WHAT!?" Poison Ivy shouted, her face in total shock, "WHAT!?"
Harley, meanwhile, broke down into a laughing fit. She quickly went from standing to her knees to the floor. Polybius, meanwhile, while not laughing as hard, also couldn't help but laugh at their reactions.
This laughing fit lasted ten minutes before Harley recovered. On the other hand, Ivy came out of her shock in five but ended up staring at Polybius with the same shocked expression for the other five minutes.
"I didn't think you two were gonna react like that." Polybius admitted, "Hell… I didn't even think about that one, that just came out."
"That was not at all what I was expecting to hear!" Harley laughed.
"What did you expect me to say?" Polybius laughed as well.
"Not that!" Ivy shouted.
"Especially about your own mother!" Harley laughed as she picked herself up off the ground.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" Ivy said, "Didn't you say earlier that all of your friends and family were either in or had close ties to the Justice League?"
"I did." Polybius confirmed.
"Who is your mother?" Ivy asked as both she and Harley looked at him curiously.
Polybius let a few seconds of silence pass to let the tension build up before he revealed who it was.
"Black Canary." Polybius answered.
"No way!" Both Harley and Ivy said in unison.
"You're lying to us!" Harley said, "She's not old enough to be your mom!"
"She's my adoptive mother." Polybius answered.
"Oh…" The two replied in unison.
"That makes sense." Ivy agreed.
"Yeah." Polybius said, "The age difference between us is not huge. But she is my legal guardian."
"So what happened to your biological parents?" Ivy asked.
"Never knew them." Polybius lied, "I was one of them prom night dumpster babies."
"Geez." Ivy groaned as Harley laughed again.
"Is there ever a dull moment with you?" Harley asked.
"Not really." Polybius said, "I'm just trying to have a good time, ya know."
"Well, I guess we had better do that torture, threat video." Ivy said, "If you'll excuse me, I've gotta go get a certain bean plant."
"Say, who should we send the video to Polybius?" Harley asked.
"Um… Send it to Black Canary and Wonder Girl for sure." Polybius commented, "And then send it to the main computer MJ as well. That will definitely warrant some attention."
"What about Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman?" Harley asked, "If we want them here, shouldn't we send it to them as well?"
"Nah." Polybius said, "You hit Wonder Girl and Black Canary, as well as that main computer; everyone in the League is gonna see it fairly soon."
"You sure?" Harley asked.
"Yeah." Polybius said, "They care about me enough. They won't leave me on unread for too long."
About an hour later, Superboy, Miss Martian, and Kid Flash finally returned from the Halloween party they were attending. The trio were laughing and joking about how much fun they had. Miss Martian was also kind enough to bring a few treats from the party as well, as the trio knew that Polybius wasn't going out.
"I'll go drop these off at Polybius's room." Miss Martian said as she morphed back to her usual appearance, "I hope he hasn't been bored to death with everyone gone."
"He's probably enjoyed it." Superboy said, "I mean, he's just now starting to get around the cave on his own and is trying to get away from the round the clock care the doctors ordered him. I mean, I'm sure he wouldn't send Wonder Girl off to go hang out with someone else if he didn't want to be alone."
"You know, speaking of Wonder Girl, I have yet to actually see her." Kid Flash commented.
"That's because you avoid Polybius's room like the plague." Superboy countered, "And she's always in there with him."
"If not her, then Black Canary." Kid Flash added.
"Hey guys!" Miss Martian called out as she floated back into the main room, "Polybius isn't in his room."
"I'm sure he's around here somewhere." Kid Flash stated.
"Or maybe he went outside." Superboy offered, "I'm sure he probably took the chance to get outside again. Get some fresh air."
"You're probably right." Miss Martian agreed, "Come on! We've still got time for a late-night horror movie marathon!"
"Alright!" Kid Flash said.
Meanwhile, back in Poison Ivy's apartment, Polybius stuffed his left nostril with a new tissue. Poison Ivy, admittedly a little angry with him because of how hard he had roasted her earlier, was a bit rough with him. And Polybius didn't know what she hit, but it was refusing to stop bleeding.
"Do we need to take you to a hospital?" Harley asked, looking at the trash can full of bloody tissues.
"Man, I don't know." Polybius replied, "If this doesn't stop bleeding soon, then yeah, we might have to do something."
"Oh yeah, because taking a hostage to the hospital is a great idea." Ivy added.
"I don't want to see him die." Harley said, "Honestly, he seems like a pretty cool guy."
"Oh, so you want to date the hostage now!?" Ivy asked.
"No, it's not like that!" Harley said, "I mean, he really isn't any use to us dead, is he?"
"No, I suppose he's not." Ivy agreed, "But taking him to a hospital is out of the question."
"Then what can we do?" Harley asked.
"I don't think I'll die from a nosebleed." Polybius chimed in, "I'll be fine."
"Yeah, well, you had better get some rest then." Ivy said, "Cause I've got a long list of chores for you to do."
"It's a good thing I'm a janitor then." Polybius commented, "A good one too."
"Yeah, well, this place needs a good deep clean." Ivy said, "And Harley, you're gonna help us too!"
"Okay!" Harley replied gleefully.
"Say, have they seen the video yet?" Polybius asked.
"No." Harley said as she looked at the status.
"That's strange." Polybius encouraged, "I'm surprised they aren't reacting."
"It's Halloween. They're probably busy." Ivy said.
Another two hours later, Wonder Girl finally returned to the cave, and she was wasted. Between her not drinking a lot and the group of people she decided to hang out with, it spelled a recipe for disaster. In fact, she was so drunk, she not only had to look at the ground to navigate but also had to have a hand on the wall as well in order not to fall over, and she could not walk in a straight line to save her soul. How she managed to make it back to the cave in her condition was nothing short of a miracle.
And as she stumbled down the hall, she was at least able to tell herself that she had to make it to Polybius's room. Once there, she knew she was free to pass out like she wanted to.
"Wonder Girl?" The voice of Artemis asked as she and Zatanna watched her stumble down the hall, "Are you okay?"
Wonder Girl's speech was so slurred, whatever she said was incomprehensible to the two. However, instead of helping her, the two just watched and laughed at her as she stumbled backward and landed on her butt.
"Oh she's wasted." Artemis laughed.
"She's gonna have a hangover from hell tomorrow." Zatanna added.
"No!" Artemis corrected, "A hangover from Tartarus!"
The two girls laughed as Wonder Girl managed to pick herself back up and continue to stumble down the hall. She managed to make it to Polybius's room and open the door. However, as soon as she entered, she lost her balance, and as she tried to catch herself, she landed in Polybius's bed and passed out.
Meanwhile, Polybius's nose had finally stopped bleeding, and he was enjoying a horror movie with Harley and Ivy that the former had insisted he joined them.
"Hey, have they seen the video yet?" Polybius questioned during a slower part of the movie.
"What video?" Harley asked.
"The one we made a few hours ago." Polybius said, "Where you threaten to crush my brain with a bean plant."
"Oh yeah!" Harley said, "Let me check…"
Harley then looked down at the phone and saw the status of the message they sent to the computer in the cave, his mother and Wonder Girl. The two had kept possession of Polybius's phone, so he couldn't call for help.
"Dang…" Harley said, "You're still left on unread."
"You serious?" Polybius asked.
"Wow." Ivy said, "Sounds like you have some shitty friends and family."
"Yeah!" Harley agreed, "I mean, firstly, your own mother doesn't pick up on you, nor does your supposed 'best friend.' And then, on top of that, you get left on unread for hours! Seriously! Who does that!?"
"Man, I thought they cared about me!" Polybius commented, a clear sense of genuine unhappiness in his voice.
"It is Halloween." Ivy commented, "They are probably all having fun or asleep."
"Or watching bad horror movies!" Harley added.
"You're telling me there isn't a single person in the Justice League who can't answer that email?" Polybius asked, anger now rising in his voice, "People who claim to care about me, and say that they're always a 'call away?' Ugh!"
"Maybe they're all just busy!" Harley said, trying to calm Polybius down, "Let's just hop over to the news real quick and see what's going on."
Doing that turned out to be a mistake, as the news anchors were marveling at how quiet of a night it was, one of the quietest in years for it being Halloween night. And upon seeing and hearing this, it enraged Polybius even more.
"Nope." Polybius said, "They are all in that freaking tower partying away while my life is in freaking danger!"
"You're not in that much danger." Ivy countered.
"You shoved a bean stock up my nose!" Polybius shouted, "They just need to think I'm in danger!"
"Is there anywhere else we can send that video to that will get an answer?" Harley asked.
"At this point, screw it!" Polybius said, "The MJ one should have set off a whole lot of people. Guess none of them care enough to even read it, though!"
Polybius then let out a long and frustrated sigh.
"Let's get back to the movie." Polybius asked, "I can't deal with this anymore. I'll leave it for tomorrow."
"Okay…" Ivy said as she hit the play button for the movie.
And there you have it! Chapter 13! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, don't be afraid to leave a review letting me know what you thought of it, and as always, have a good one!