A/N - Not dead, just busy :')
Ahtohallan. The place that stole the lives of almost everyone she loved. The place that was threatening her future; her happiness. Threatening the lives of countless others.
She stood tall, though uncertain. She had an overwhelming amount of determination- and hesitance. She took a deep breath.
Astrid looked up at her, squeezing her hand tightly. "Are you ready, Miss Anna?"
Was she ready? No. Absolutely not. But she had to try. They had no time to waste. This was it. No matter the cost.
She held her hand out in front of her, holding her palm flat to the sky. "Mama." Her voice was full of hesitation. "If you're there… now's the time to show yourself."
They waited a moment before she spoke again. "Come to me. We have to finish this."
Two days ago, Anna and Astrid had been in the lake they'd found. They were getting clean and talking about the possibility of their futures. Their journey on was rough. Anna's body wasn't being nice to her. She was physically deprived and it was having side effects. She feared for her unborn child- she had no idea how far along she was. Her bump wasn't big, but it seemed to be growing fast. She knew it was still a while away, but how long?
Two days ago, Astrid had been on a vocal tyraid. She'd told Anna tales about her life; what she could remember from when she was alive. She said she was born in 1799. It surprised Anna; she herself was born in 1821. It was weird to know that Astrid should be double her age.
Two days ago, Astrid told Anna where the forest spirits were hiding. She'd revealed it accidentally, and tried to cover, but the queen was too quick. They'd talked about where those spirits had disappeared to: they were with the Northuldra. They were all, mutually, already planning on destroying Ahtohallan.
Astrid told Anna that she'd spoken to Yelena and Honeymaren, notably, because they knew Elsa personally. They confirmed that destroying Ahtohallan had a risk of destroying Elsa's magic, too, and quite possibly her life. Anna didn't know what to do with the information. Destroying the glacier would mean freeing the spirits and mending the past.
It would also mean killing her entire bloodline.
It was a risk they had to be willing to take. For the sake of everyone. Iduna was supposed to meet them here; her lack of presence worried Anna.
"We don't have much time," she'd said aloud. "We have to hurry before it's too late."
"Are you sure it's worth it?"
The voice wasn't one they were expecting. The duo turned around to face Silja. Astrid seemed more surprised than Anna; she soon ducked behind the queen. "Silja," Anna said simply, almost stunned. "You're okay?"
"I told Elsa about what's coming," she told her, ignoring the question. "I warned her of the consequences. She's safe with your lover. They're together."
It made her heart feel good. She almost sighed in relief, but it was too early for that yet. "Do you know where my mother is? She was supposed to meet us here. The glacier has to fall."
Silja nodded. "I know. I'm not sure where Iduna is- she may have met with Eira. or perhaps your father wanted to stop her."
That last comment caught the queen off guard. "My- Why would my father want to stop her?" she stuttered.
"They chose different paths in the end," Silja told her. "Your mother wants to spare the world. She believes that is your familial duty. But your father only wants to spare you and Elsa. He believes the world is not your responsibility."
"He understood that I wanted to live; that I had a purpose here."
She nodded. "Yes. He will not steal your life; he wants you to live. But you cannot live if you die for the world. Or if you kill Elsa for the world."
"Elsa won't die," Anna countered. "Even if it affects her magic."
Silja shook her head. "Elsa gets her magic directly from Ahtohallan, but it is still within her. It pulses through her veins. She herself is ice- there are fragments in her blood and skin."
She didn't know what to say.
"She is more than us, in that sense," she explained. "And if she loses her abilities, she will lose her life."
The circumstances changed in an instant. Everything was different now. Losing her parents twice was hard enough to accept, but losing them all was not an option. She felt anger in her core. "Then we find another way."
Silja shook her head again. "There is no other way," she told her. "Unless…" she hesitated, as if searching for approval, but she and Anna weren't on the same page. "Unless you want to destroy the forest and let the Ahtohallan spirits win?"
"No." She didn't hesitate. Then she regretted it, "maybe?"
"If the forest spirits fall, then… Ahtohallan will stand." Silja's voice was quiet. "Eira, Astrid, myself, and many others will cease to exist. But your family will survive."
"My parents are already dead," she replied. There was a tinge of bitterness in her tone.
"They may be returned to you," Silja told her. She lightly crossed her arms over her bare stomach; her chest bound with cloth. "Perhaps that will be the reward for choosing Ahtohallan. They will make your family whole again."
She didn't love that outcome, either. She was frustrated. Why was it always her that had to make these decisions? There was no right answer. There was no right thing to do. People were going to lose either way. People were going to die. She'd already destroyed her kingdom for the sake of mending a past… The same past that was still lingering; haunting her every move. If she were to make this sacrifice, what would the cost be? What if it's a trap? She has no way of knowing for sure.
She felt sick again. Physically, violently ill. She turned away, shoving Astrid aside as she took a few steps. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe, but instead dropped to her hands and knees and vomited on the stone. Astrid quickly ran to her side and pulled her hair back, holding it in a knot behind her head. "It'll get easier for you."
Silja struggled to look away, though also struggled to watch. She wasn't sure what to do. She hesitated for a moment before approaching, kneeling beside the other woman, putting a hand of comfort on her back. "I'm sorry this is so difficult for you. I didn't realise it was making you ill."
Anna shook her head, running the back of her hand over her mouth. "I'm fine." She pressed her other hand into her abdomen.
Astrid perked up and made eye contact with Silja, "she's making a person."
The woman seemed surprised. She looked down at the queen; "you are with child?"
Anna nodded. "Apparently." Although she sounded uncertain, she knew for sure. "I didn't know before all of this. I don't know when it happened..."
"Then you absolutely cannot let Ahtohallan win."
The worry and stern-tone in her voice made Anna sit up and look at her. "What am I supposed to do? The forest needs to be freed, right? Ahtohallan is bad?"
Silja sighed. "I cannot help you, Your Grace. You have to help me, remember? We," she took Astrid's hand, "want to live."
Anna nodded. She remembered their speeches. Their desires. Their fears. It has to be the forest. We have to destroy Ahtohallan. She immediately remembered her family. It felt as though her childhood flashed before her eyes. She was going to have their blood on her hands. It felt that way, at least. She felt evil for even considering such a thing. She'd be responsible for….
She trailed. Wouldn't she be freeing her parents? They're trapped as spirits. She'd be setting them free. That gave her ease.
But Elsa. She'd be killing Elsa. Sealing her future. Her chances. Her life.
She felt sick again. Elsa… I'm so sorry.
Elsa and Kristoff had been reunited within twenty-four hours. She told him everything that Silja had told her- and everything that happened between them. She'd told him in order to justify her trust for Silja, despite the circumstances. It was difficult for him to accept, as he'd never met this other woman, but he trusted his friend. She'd also, most importantly, told him that Anna was in fact alive, according to Silja. This gave them a new boost of hope. The clouds parted a bit, and they all felt more motivated.
They'd agreed on the obvious: Ahtohallan was a problem. They'd disagreed on the more complicated matters: whether or not Eira could be trusted. It had been a long while since anybody had seen or heard from her. Whilst Elsa was worried the woman was working against Anna, Kristoff was convinced that she was keeping the Ahtohallan spirits at bay and helping Anna.
They'd taken a break from each other. They were both battling hunger and sleep deprivation which led to short tempers. They stopped talking before an argument could break out.
Elsa let out a deep breath, letting her head fall back. She opened her eyes to look at the stars above. It brought her some peace. No matter how far Anna was, they were still under the same sky. They may be looking at the same stars, even. She may not be too far. As long as she's in this world, there is hope. So long as she's breathing, there is hope. I will find you.
"Anna has entered Ahtohallan."
Elsa spun around. Kristoff did the same from the other direction. Silja was between them; her black gown flowing gently in the breeze. "I tried to convince her not to, but she was too determined."
Whilst Kristoff put a concerned hand over his heart, Elsa felt a wave of rage. "You overpower her!" she exclaimed, moving closer to Silja. "You could've stopped her! How could you let her go there?!"
"She knows what she's doing," the woman told her, though she didn't sound so convinced. "I tried to tell her, but she and Astrid went in very early this morning. Anna insisted that you and her lover were worth the risk."
Elsa didn't know what to say. She stared for a moment, speechless. Then the words came to her. "You set her up?"
Silja only barely shook her head. A tear ran down her cheek. "We want to live."
"And you'd let her die to save you?" Kristoff intervened. There was an anger to his tone; one that Elsa hadn't heard before. Silja turned to him. He looked more devastated than angry. The exhaustion and trauma from the past year was starting to severely catch up to him. "After everything. You set her up to take the fall for something that happened decades before she was even born?"
"If one person falls so that two-hundred others can live-"
"You sacrifice innocence for a crime she did not commit," he snapped. "She has her whole future ahead of her!"
"We did too!" she exclaimed, nearly shouting. She wasn't angry. She was desperate. She pleaded. "We had our lives ahead of us! All of us. Our children! Our children, even younger than Astrid! We deserve a fair chance."
"So does Anna." It was firm. It was true. "But nobody ever stops to think about her. About her future. About what she deserves."
Silja's head lowered a bit. "She made her choice. I could not stop her, even if I wanted to. This is what she's chosen to do."
"Did you lie to her?" Elsa asked, voice quiet.
Silja shook her head. "I told her nothing but the truth. Though, it was twisted in with what Eira and Iduna told her. But I'm sure she knows every detail because of it."
"And she'll give her life to destroy Ahtohallan and free the forest?"
She didn't know. "The future remains unknown."
Kristoff and Elsa exchanged a look before he turned and walked away in defeat. She let out her breath, eyes slipping shut for only a moment. When they opened, Silja was gone, and she was alone.
A/N - Last chance to vote on the type of ending you want! Happy, bittersweet, or sad? I'll also start replying to reviews again, and hopefully the next update won't take as long. I'm off work at a reasonable hour this week so hopefully I'll have the brain power to create haha
Thanks for the love and support. Hope some of you are still around xx