I don't have a clue what's going on with this website but I posted this chapter yesterday in celebration for blasting almost 3k words on my first day of NaNoWriMo and even though I had an email confirming it had uploaded, I couldn't view it on the site. I thought it was really strange then when the usual people didn't reply. So I'm trying to fix it, but I recommend you find me on Archive of Our Own (AO3) under the same handle, cos the chapters seem to be updating properly on there. I just get more response from my fics over here. Anyway, I hope you get to read this and enjoy it :(
Ron has worries about continuing with his career as an Auror in the aftermath of the explosion.
The feel of Ron shifting in bed next to her for what felt like the hundredth time was enough to pull Hermione from her light sleep. She forced her eyes open and glanced wearily at the clock on the bedside table. It was just before 3 am. She sighed and turned in the bed carefully to face him. He was lying on his back, his eyes wide open and a look of concentration on his face.
She watched him thoughtfully, giving him a few moments alone to deal with whatever was going through his head. She tried her best to ignore the dull ache of pain in her leg, arms and muscles. She felt as if she'd done a hundred rounds with Grawp. The healer at St. Mungo's had sent her home with a vial of the essence of dittany and she knew she'd have to apply more before she'd be able to get back to sleep again tonight. Ron had broken a couple of ribs, but it was nothing a couple of rounds of skele-gro couldn't fix. They were both otherwise unharmed, apart from the cuts and bruises that adorned both their bodies. They knew they were lucky; when they had left the hospital, the healers were still struggling to rebuild Perch's leg and they hadn't been optimistic that he would last the night. If they hadn't been so exhausted, Ron probably would have tried to stay.
They had gone from the hospital to the Burrow to be fed and to assure Molly that they were okay. The matriarch had pressed two bottles of dreamless sleep into Hermione's hand as they had left around midnight, but once they were back at Ron's flat they had decided not to take it. Both of them wanted to be able to wake up should they need each other. It wasn't as if they were strangers to nightmares now anyway.
Hermione let out a louder sigh in the hope of letting Ron know she was awake if he needed her.
"I didn't mean to wake you up…" Ron's voice was quiet and heavy with sleep.
"I wasn't asleep, not really. Maybe we should have taken the potion…"
Ron let out a sad, heavy sigh and Hermione felt like it would break her heart. She pushed the duvet from her body, ignoring the chill in the early morning winter air and carefully closed the small gap sleep had driven between them. Every movement caused her muscles to cry out in pain but she ignored it as she moved across the bed to him. Carefully, she curled up to his side, nestling her head against his neck and pressing her body tight to his.
"What's wrong?" She pressed a kiss where his neck met his collarbone, being careful to avoid a particularly angry looking cut.
"It's just yesterday. It keeps on replaying in my head. I've been trying to work out what went wrong, what I could have done to stop it going so horribly wrong. I've ruined Perch's career, even if he survives. I should have known something was wrong; Quinn was far too eager to let us into the house. I keep on getting praised for my instincts in training, but that's all bullshit isn't it?"
Hermione stretched an arm carefully over his stomach, rubbing his skin softly in the hope of giving him some vague sort of comfort. "There was no way you could have expected a muggle bomb. Robards will say the same. It was just Quinn being sneaky. Probably the only way he could defend himself…"
"Stupid fucking Squib…" Ron mumbled it quietly, but Hermione still heard him. She sighed against his skin, closing her eyes. He sounded like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and she hated that she couldn't do anything to help him relieve it. She lay there just holding him, listening to the rhythm of their breaths for a while. His breathing changed and for a moment, she thought he had fallen back to sleep, but then he spoke again.
"It could have been me. Perch was only a few steps in front of me. I wanted to act first; I was so keen to take charge of the mission so I can help you with your work…" Ron ran a hand over his face. He was torturing himself; Hermione could tell. He always did this when something happened that he couldn't control.
"You can't think like that sweetheart. The only person to blame for Perch's condition is Quinn. I know what you're like; you won't rest now until you've captured Quinn. And you'll do it because you're a bloody great Auror. You were pivotal in planning out that mission and we met its purpose. It was only supposed to be a quick interview and for us to scope out the cottage. None of us expected it to go the way it did."
"I still should have been prepared for the worst…" Ron sniffed and Hermione wondered if he was crying. She tightened her grip on him, her muscles giving another cry of pain. That didn't matter right now, only that she did her best to make Ron feel better the way he'd helped her over the past few months.
"You're such a good Auror, Ron…" Hermione repeated like a mantra. "I could feel how you had positioned yourself so I was protected. I felt so safe there with the three of you and I know you tried to cast a shield charm over me as the bomb went off. Please stop beating yourself up about Perch. You really need to rest…"
"Maybe I'm not cut out to be an Auror…" Ron rolled away from her suddenly, presenting her with his back so she couldn't see just how upset he really was.
"Come on Ron…" Hermione automatically adjusted her position, cuddling up to his back to spoon him; despite her petite frame being ten times smaller than him. She felt a sob rack his body and she bit her lip, trying her hardest not to cry out loud too. She pressed a kiss to the base of his neck.
"I mean it, Hermione. Maybe I'm not meant to be an Auror. Maybe I can't cope with going out and putting my bloody life in danger all the time. I've had enough of it and it's unfair to put all the stress and worry of my working a dangerous job on you…"
Hermione sighed and rested her head against the back of his neck. "I'm always going to worry about you, no matter what job you're doing; but I'm not going to lie and say that's not heightened because of the career you've chosen. Why do you think I send you so many internal memos during the day?!" Ron gave a small laugh, so she pressed a kiss against his skin again. "It sounds silly given the perils we've already lived through and survived but I do still worry about you. I fear that one day an owl will come to me with bad news about you."
She raised a hand to stroke the back of his hair, pausing to steady her voice. She could feel her bottom lip start to tremble, but it wouldn't do for her to cry right now. It was her turn to comfort him.
"You were so close to that blast; my first fear when I woke up was that you were gravely injured. But we live in a magical world – it's a part of our everyday lives. Just living in our community is a massive risk. Just look at everything we got up to in school, a place where we were supposed to be safe. Our reading list included a book that tried to attack us every time we opened it and never mind all the creatures and evil we came across…"
Hermione smiled softly as Ron let out another laugh, although it was muted from where he had his head buried in his pillow.
"If you don't want to be an Auror, then that's okay. I promise that I will support you no matter what you choose to do with your life, as long as you talk to me about it first. You can even be a stay at home dad for those millions of children we're having, and our pet dog and I'll focus on taking over the world for us. But please don't use what happened yesterday as an excuse. Especially not on only a couple of hours sleep. You will regret it…"
Ron let out a sigh and carefully rolled over in her arms, burying his head under her chin. "I guess you're right…"
Hermione pressed a kiss into his hair. "You know I'm right… now come on, let's try and get some sleep, yeah?" She moved onto her back, letting out a soft sigh as she sunk into Ron's comfortable, old mattress. It felt like such a relief on her sore limbs. Ron moved with her, his head still nestled under her chin and the whole weight of his body against her side.
"You always know the right things to say, Hermione…" His words slowed down as sleep started to steal him back away from her. "I love you so much…" Within a moment, he let out a rolling snore.
Hermione smiled down at him and pulled her arms closer around him. She closed her eyes too. "I love you too…" She spoke softly so as not to wake him up again. Eventually, she drifted into a much deeper sleep, without help from the dreamless sleep or the dittany.
No less than 12 hours later, Ron found himself walking a grey corridor in St. Mungo's following a healer in a blue set of robes. He was aware of Harry next to him; his best friend had a cut that matched Hermione's on his right leg. He too was walking with a small limp, though it was a lot less pronounced than it was the night before.
The pair had been summoned to the hospital by an early owl and Ron couldn't help but think the worst had happened. He hadn't wanted to get out of bed; Hermione had promised him they could spend the day lazing around, which was unlike her. They'd been signed off work for the day to have chance to recover, so it must have been important for them to be summoned.
Ron threw Harry a concerned look as the Healer stopped in front of a grey door and knocked once before opening it. She stood aside and let the two trainee Aurors step into the room.
"You can't stay long; Mr Perch needs his rest. Try not to overexcite him…"
Ron was relieved to see the Senior Auror sat up in bed. He looked pale and he was wired up to various magical contraptions that seemed to be measuring his vital stats but he was awake. He gestured for the two trainees to step in and the healer shut the door behind them.
"Weasley, Potter… I wanted to check for myself that you were both okay after yesterday…"
Ron shrugged and eased himself into one of the empty chairs in the room. His ribs ached like hell and he felt as if he'd been hit by the Knight Bus and a thousand bludgers all in one go. He hated to admit it, but Harry had been right all those years ago; fixing bones was not a pleasant experience.
"I've felt better, but it's nothing compared to you. Just a couple of broken ribs…" Ron trained his eyes to stay on Perch's face and not drift down to the bottom end of the bed where the blanket wasn't doing a good job of hiding where Perch's leg was so obviously missing.
"You can look at it Weasley; it'll still be missing. There was no way they could save it in the end so they cut it off…"
"That's one more step to being Mad-Eye Moody, Perch…" Luckily, Harry was better at dealing with this sort of thing. His eyes were bruised from yesterday's broken nose but he seemed to be less cut up than Ron and Hermione.
Perch smiled. He'd spent some years working with the late Auror.
"Yeah well, when I start shouting 'constant vigilance' you can get me put down!"
Harry sat down next to Ron.
"So what's next for you Perch?"
It was Senior Auror's turn to shrug. "I'm not thinking much past my recovery at the moment. I guess I'll get a prosthetic leg and we'll see how it goes from there. Probably a desk job, I'm not quite ready to call things a day just yet…"
"That's good. It'll be strange if you weren't around to nag us for getting things wrong…" Harry gave him a small smile, though it wasn't very convincing.
"Nah, I don't think you're quite ready for that yet. I just wanted to get your word that you'll do everything you can to catch the bastard and that you'll keep me updated with the investigation. He deserves to spend the rest of his life in Azkaban."
Ron sat up straight. He knew then he'd remain an Auror, at least long enough to capture Quinn. He would wait to decide on the rest of his career until after then.
Perch's eyes started to droop, so Ron signalled to Harry that they should go. They stood up carefully, both of them wincing with their own pain.
"Before you both go, I have just one more word of advice. When you get back into work tomorrow; Robards will probably read you the riot act. It was my responsibility and we did not check for booby traps. You'll know for next time. It's best just to smile and take it and learn. And get your bloody paperwork done so you don't piss him off anymore…" The Senior Auror closed his eyes. "When you visit next Weasley, you should bring me some of your mum's cakes. That'll help me feel better…"
Ron smiled. "Right-o. Try not to get into too much trouble." He rested his hand on his mentor's shoulder before following Harry out of the room.
The pair waited until they were back in the hospital reception before speaking again. Ron let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. "When I got the owl this morning, I thought that was it. I really thought we were coming to say our last goodbyes…"
Harry leaned against the wall next to a water cooler. "I know… I almost didn't come…" He looked slightly ashamed. "We're going to do everything we can to catch Quinn, right?"
Ron felt a red mist cloud over his eyes; even the sound of the Squib's name made him angry now. "Yeah – Robards has to let us see the case through, even if we have to be supervised by five other Aurors. For Quinn's sake if nothing else…"
Harry nodded and rubbed the spot above his eye where his lightning bolt scar was starting to fade.
It didn't bother him anymore, and it was mostly just a force of habit. "I'm going to head home; Ginny will be made if she gets back from training and I'm not on the sofa where she left me…" He grimaced, but his eyes showed he was only playing.
"Yeah alright… I need to meet Hermione back at Primrose cottage; we're going to stay there for the rest of the week 'cos it's closer to mum and dad's. And tidier… and there's more food there…" Ron gave Harry a more genuine smile. "See you tomorrow, I guess?"
"Yeah see you for our morning meeting with Robards… bye mate…" Harry stepped into the fireplace and took the Floo network home. Ron decided to leave by the muggle exit instead.
Ron eventually apparated back to Hermione's cottage not even half an hour later. The smell of roast dinner filled the small house and he smiled. Hermione had been working hard on improving her cooking skills and she could almost rival Molly now. He followed his nose and smiled as he watched her limp around the kitchen.
"You're supposed to be resting 'Mione. We only moved over here so that you could have access to your stuff…"
Hermione turned slowly, smiling at the sight that greeted her. Ron held out a small bunch of flowers. She headed over to him and took the bouquet from him with a kiss. "What's this for?"
Ron shrugged slightly. "It's what you're supposed to do when your girlfriend is poorly. And I guess because I love you…"
Hermione grinned. "You meant it last night then?" She teased briefly as he nodded, a blush creeping up to his ears. "I love you too…" She gave him another kiss then accio'd a vase and filled it with water before starting to arrange the flowers. "How's Perch?"
"He's going to be okay…" He felt the weight he didn't even know was on his shoulders disappear. He felt like he had a better outlook now on his career and what happened yesterday. "He's lost his leg, but his spirit doesn't seem to be too broken…"
"That's really good news Ron…" She set the vase on her kitchen table and leaned against a unit. "You feeling a bit better about things now?"
"Yeah…. It's going to be okay. Just need to survive the bollocking we'll get from Robards tomorrow. Harry and I promised Perch we'll find Quinn and put him into Azkaban…"
"Good! I knew you would. You know I'll do what I can to help…"
"Yeah but you have Dobby's law to focus on too 'Mione…" Ron smiled anyway; he could tell from her steely look that she meant it. It felt so good to have her on his side.