Author's Update: So I made it through my editing despite being under the weather. I wanted to release the two chapters together but better late than never. Hope this gets you through your Monday better!
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. Never have, never will. I simply play in their world.
Reviews! Reviews! Like it so far? Hate it?
"It was all I wanted for the longest time-
to open my eyes and see you there.
To stretch out my hand and touch
the soft, yielding warmth of your skin.
But now I have learned
the secret of distance.
Now I know being close to you
was never about the proximity."
-Lang Leav
Rey
Am I dead?
The last thing I remember is being pulled beneath the sand, reaching desperately for the person I wanted most in this life.
Ben.
I can't take a breath and panic overrides everything else and I begin kicking furiously as my lungs burn and I begin to fade out of consciousness again.
No! I don't want to die! I haven't seen Ben yet!
He is the reason I cling to life. The thought of dying...of not seeing him again...I redouble my effort to break free and I feel something grab me, voices muffled.
Let go! I open my mouth to scream and sand pours in chocking me...I'm going to drown...
"..almost...ouch!"
A wrenching pain in my hips and I tumble free, gagging and spitting sand from my lungs.
Grit in my mouth, coating my tongue and I've landed on something yielding yet oddly hard.
"Rey..." a wheezing cough, "can you...get off me!"
It's Poe and the sand in my lashes, in my eyes, makes him nothing more than a blurry image.
I roll over automatically and as soon as I pull in a breath I begin chocking.
"Easy Rey," hands patting my back as I'm sick to my stomach releasing all the sand that I swallowed, "get it all out. Here, you'll want this when you're done."
A canteen at my side, the slosh of water barely discernible over my dry heaving.
I wipe the back of my mouth and feel the grit between my teeth. There is nasty taste on my tongue liked burned oil and I quickly pick up the canteen and take a drink, swishing it in my mouth before spitting it back out into the sand.
"Th-thanks Poe."
"Anytime Rey. By the way did you know you have the boniest hips ever. I swear you dented my ribs.
I choke on my second mouthful of tepid water at that quip.
"We nearly died and that's the first thing you say to me?"
I splash water on my face to get rid of the sand in my eyes and blink up at him when he stands next to me.
I thought it was the grit in my eyes that was causing me not see properly but wherever we've landed has almost no light.
I feel, more than actually see, his grin.
"Well we didn't die and you do have bony hips. On your feet, we need to find the others and get topside pronto. Maybe we got lucky and the First Order thinks we did die."
"Right..."
But I'm still on my knee's.
I'm not dead...I'm somewhere underground and I remember...
"Ben." I mouth his name, remembering his scream when I lost consciousness.
He sounded terrified as called my name...or was that something I just imagined?
I get to my feet. Poe is right we need to get topside.
I needed to find Ben. I know he's here on Pasaana and I know him.
He will never stop looking for me and in this place that is cold and dark, I hold onto my memory of him.
He has become my light in the darkness.
Ben, I reach for him, I'm alive.
My pulse is fluttering madly as I wait for his touch.
Seconds go by...and I can't feel him.
Panic threatens to undo me and I have to take a deep, calming breath.
I don't know why I can't reach him. He wouldn't be blocking me not after he screamed for me...not after I reached for him with my last thought.
There must be something blocking us.
But what could block the Force down here?
A hand on my shoulder and I nearly jump out of my skin and stumble away.
"Easy Rey, it's just me."
Poe's voice and I place a shaking hand over my heart.
"Don't sneak up on me like that!"
"Whoa you sure are touchy all of the sudden."
"I'm...I'm fine. Where's Finn and Chewie?"
"Haven't found them yet but this place," Poe clicks on his flashlight which barely breaks the gloom, "is like a maze. Tunnels everywhere and I really don't want to run into whatever made them. So let's find our friends and get the hell out of here."
"Master Poe! Mistress Rey!"
We turn as the light bounces off of Threepio and I hear the soft whistles of BB-8.
Two found, two more to go.
"Come on they couldn't have gotten far."
This was ridiculous stumbling around in the dark with only Poe's small light to see by. I reach for Anakin's lightsaber strapped to my hip and ignite it.
At least I didn't lose that to the sinking sands.
The blue glow of the kyber crystal pushes back the darkness and now we can see more that just a foot in front of us.
"You couldn't have thought that sooner? Nice glow stick."
Poe snaps off his flashlight now that I have a better light source for us to use.
"It's a lightsaber," I huff at him, "not a glow stick and will you-"
"Rey! Poe!"
Finn stumbles from an adjacent tunnel, Chewie hard on his heels.
"Finn! Buddy!"
Both men exchange exuberant hugs and Chew wraps me up in his embrace as well.
"Yes, I'm glad to see you alive too!"
"Rey!"
"Finn!"
We swap partners as Finn holds me tight. I return his hug...and become slightly uncomfortable when he won't let me go.
"Uh, Finn, I can't breath."
"What? Oh...oh! Sorry Rey."
He lets go and I step away but his hand grabs my wrist.
"Rey...I'm really glad you're alive."
"Yeah, me too. We should get going."
He hasn't let go and with the saber at my side I can see his face clearly in the gloom of the tunnel.
There is an intensity to his gaze that makes my stomach clench and not in a good way.
"Finn what is it?"
"I," he takes a deep breath, "back up there...when we were sinking. It made me realize something."
Ice slipping through my veins as his voice softens and I no longer like the way he is looking at me.
As though I am something strange and wonderful and he's only just realizing it.
"Hey, I hate to break up this happy reunion but can we save it for another time. Like after we find the way out of here."
I have never been more relieved to have Poe stick his nose into my business.
I take back my wrist from Finn's grip and motion for Poe to lead the way.
"After you Dameron."
"So kind of you Rey."
Chewie growls at our bickering and it is the most normal I've felt in hours.
"Rey," Finn at my back and I can only wonder when he got so close to me, "we need to talk. Soon."
"Sure Finn," a cold lump in the pit of my stomach, "just as soon as we get free of this place."
Somehow I know what he wants to talk about and it was not a discussion I wanted to have with him.
Not now, not ever.
I love Finn but not the way I think he wants me to.
His feelings for me...I don't think even he understands what they are...and I'm praying fervently that I'm wrong about them as well.
He is my best friend. My brother that I never knew I wanted.
But it could never be anything more than that.
Ben, I clutched his name to my heart like a talisman, can you hear me?
I continue walking but my silent plea goes unanswered and that, more than anything else that has happened, scares me.
"Phew! Can anyone else smell that?"
"Master Poe as you aware I am unable to process stimuli of the..."
"Yeah, yeah goldenrod I wasn't talking to you."
"I can smell it."
It was stronger now, a faint metallic odor with a heavy musk that reminded me something...but I can't place it. My head feels woolly in this place.
As though there was a veil over my mind.
We're further into the tunnels but they seem to go on endlessly.
"So...who else is getting the feeling that we're rats in a maze?"
"I hear you Poe, I don't like this one bit."
Finn has moved ahead to talk with Poe but something else has caught my eye. Something in the distance that is shining and I move towards it.
"Guys, come here! I think I found something."
I brush the accumulated sand away and realize that what I'm looking at is an old speeder. Made long before I was born.
There's some kind of sigil on the front but I had no idea what it is.
The speeder's in a bad way. Dust and age have carbonized the metal until even touching it makes it crumble beneath my fingers.
"Rey what did you...hell is that a speeder? What's it doing down here?"
"I don't know but there are strange markings that haven't carbonized. Poe? Finn? You recognize them?"
Neither of them could identify the markings.
"Oh my! That is a hex charm sigil."
I look at Threepio and Poe drags him closer to the crumbling speeder.
"You can tell what that is goldenrod?"
"Master Poe I do wish you would use my proper name."
"Just answer me!"
"Very well. That sigil is a hex charm used by Sith loyalist. Each charm was unique and given to members as a way of identification."
"Great so identify it for us."
"The markings are for Sith assassins Master Poe..."
Threepio is still talking to Poe but a shiver across my skin, a whisper of evil along my senses turns me from them and I move further down the tunnel.
There was something in here calling to me.
Something that I need to find.
My footsteps scatter the sand and it dislodges bones that were buried beneath it.
The shattered remains of an eyeless skull stare back at me and it is one I've seen before.
"Lando was right. Ochi was here all along just not where anyone could find him."
"Rey did you say something? What are you doing way back there?"
"Hey you shouldn't wander off like that it's...eurgh!"
Poe backpedals from my side when he see's what I'm staring at. I look at the pilot and there is a slightly green tinge to his skin.
Finn is also looking at the scattered remains of Ochi and his countenance is grim.
"So this is where he died."
"Yeah. Looks like it."
"So what does that mean for us?"
I shake my head, wishing I had an answer for him. If Ochi made it down here but not back up...
I refuse to believe that we're going to die down here as well.
The Force whispering in my mind...screaming pain...terror that cleaves through my soul...
BB-8 is whistling excitedly at me but I can barely hear him as I dig through the sand.
Something evil...something monstrous is down here and its calling to me to find it...
My fingers brush the tip of cold metal and I stumble, snatching them back instantly.
My skin feels like it is burning and the screams are loud echo's all around me.
"What...what are you?"
I grit my teeth and strap some steel to my spine. Whatever this thing was...it had to be connected to Ochi.
I take a hard, quick breath and wrap my hand around the protruding metal and yank it free.
"No! Please...no..."
"Get away...stop it! STOP!"
Am I screaming or is the voices in my head that are screaming? Such pain...fear that has become mindless panic...malicious glee that seeps into the blade with every cut, every strike of agony it inflicts...
"Rey! Finn she's in some kind of seizure..."
The dagger is pulled from my grip and the visions of death, the screams in my mind are abruptly gone and all the strength goes out of me as I slump into waiting arms.
Bile in the back of my throat and I feel like the water I just drank is about to come back up again.
"Easy Rey, I got you. Easy."
Cool hand pressed to my brow as I stare blankly at the dagger in Poe's hand. The saber is on the ground a few feet from where I'm sitting.
I must have dropped it when I grabbed the dagger.
"So much pain," I whisper, "that dagger holds the memories of everyone its ever killed...so many voices screaming..."
Poe is looking at me as though I've gone crazy but I haven't.
"There's strange writing on it. Rey...look I know you...sensed something but can you come over here and tell me if you can read it? This might be the clue that we're looking for."
"Poe," a growl in Finn's voice and I shake my head, pushing myself away from him, "It's fine Finn."
The echo's of the screams are still in my mind but I snatch up the glowing saber and make my way back to Poe's side.
He was right, I could make out the strange runes on the blade...but they meant nothing to me.
"Sorry Poe I've never seen anything like this."
"Great. Well there goes...hey gold-Threepio! Come over here a sec!"
"Master Poe how might I be of service and let me just say that I am glad to hear you call me by my proper name."
"Yeah whatever. Look at this and tell me you know what is means."
Poe thrusts the dagger at Threepio who takes it from him.
"Oh my Master Poe..."
"You know what those markings are?"
"I am fluent in over six million languages as well as..."
"Do you know what the writing is?"
I cut him off before he can get going and before Poe looses the last bit of patience he has left for the protocol droid.
"Yes Mistress Rey."
All of us crowd around Threepio, waiting for him to read what is on the dagger.
But he remains oddly silent.
"Well," Poe demands after several seconds, "read it to us! What does it say."
"I cannot tell you Master Poe."
"Damn it! I thought you said you knew what the writing was!"
"I do Master Poe."
Poe looks like he wants to throttle the droid right there and then.
"Threepio," I motion for Poe to step back and make the droid look at me, "you said 'cannot'...does that mean you've already translated the runes?"
"Of course Mistress Rey."
Poe makes a strangled noise and I shush him.
"What can you tell us about the runes."
I've never known a droid to hesitate and yet that is exactly what Threepio does before answering me.
"These runes are Ancient Sith Mistress Rey and they are proscribed."
"Meaning?"
"It is against my programming to speak a proscribed language Master Finn."
"So...what? You've read the message and now you can't tell us what it says?"
"That is correct Master Poe."
Poe throws up his hands and begins muttering underneath his breath.
I look at the dagger, a Sith dagger that no one but Threepio can read and cannot speak...and my mind turns to Ben.
No, not Ben.
Ren. With all of his training, his connection to the dark side of the Force...could he read what is on the dagger?
I remember the ancient Jedi runes on Emphameira that he was able to translate...and my guess is that he could read the script on the dagger as well.
I don't know whether to scream or laugh.
The only person who can read this dagger, other than Threepio, is Ren.
A shift in the sands...the odor of musk and iron clogging the air...I turn, my saber flashing in the darkness as a piercing scream rends the air and something monstrous emerges from the sand beneath our feet.
"Rey!"
"Rey get back here!"
I backpedal to my friends and watch the monster unfold itself before our eyes, hissing and screaming.
"Oh my! Oh my! A Vexis! We're doomed!"
"Shut up Threepio!"
The 'Vexis' as Threepio called it looks like a giant...snake.
The musk...the metallic scent that I couldn't place earlier...it was from this creature. It's enormous. It has to stand at least ten feet tall, the protruding teeth as long as the Sith dagger with rows of smaller ones behind it.
Three eyes on either side of his head, like chips of onyx, stare directly at me.
It screams again at us, coiling its long body as though poised to strike...
Poe has drawn his pistol and so has Finn, both ready to start firing at any given second.
"Well," swallows Poe, "I think we know how old Ochi died."
He clicks off the safety, taking aim at the creatures head.
The creature screams again...and all I feel is pain and fear...endless agony that brings tears to my eyes.
"Stop."
Poe and Finn look at me like I've gone crazy but I refuse to take my eye off the creature.
"Poe, put your gun down."
"Rey that's crazy! This thing is about to attack us!"
"No...it's not."
The creature is still coiling around itself...protecting itself.
It's afraid of us.
"Trust me. Finn take this."
Slowly, so as not to scare the creatures, I hand the saber to Finn.
Something was wrong with the Vexis and I was going to need the light to see by...but I didn't want the snake to think that I was there to hurt it.
"Rey...Rey!"
Finn frantically whispering my name as I gently move towards the creature.
"Easy," I whisper, motioning for the other's to stay where they are, "easy. I'm not going to hurt you..."
The creature makes that piercing cry again and it is not one of rage...but of agony.
It...no...not an 'it' he was hurt...
Gently, barely breathing I place my hand on the hard scales of his body. Coiled as he was his body came up to my thigh and I had to swing my legs over him without making any threatening movements.
I stumble into his coils and he rears up as if to strike.
"Easy," I whisper, using the Force to project calm onto him, "I'm not here to hurt you."
He screams darting for me...and stops inches from my face.
Tears stream from my eyes, he is in so much pain.
"Please, let me help you."
A soft, chirping noise from the Vexis, almost a question.
I open my eyes and sink to my knee's...and I see the problem.
A large, gaping hole in the underbelly of his scales. A raw, oozing wound that looks as though it has been burned.
Like a shot from a pistol or plasma gun.
"I'm not going to hurt you..."
Slowly, gently I place my hand on the wound and bite down hard on my lip to stop myself from screaming as his pain becomes my own.
A memory from a lifetime ago comes back to me.
"The Jedi have the ability to heal," Ben tells me, "but at a cost. To heal another, you must use your own life force. The deeper the wound...the heavier the cost."
My first lesson in healing from Ben. The terrible wound on his chest from Exegol...the wounds on our hands from our fall on the cliffs of Emphameira...
A Jedi can heal...
I could heal this creature, take away his pain.
But I was scared. I've never done a healing on my own. Ben had always been with me.
Guiding me.
Ben, a sob catching in my throat, I don't know if I can do this...
Cleansing rain in my mind...the cool touch of starlight in my soul...
Yes you can, the caress of his midnight voice in my mind and I feel the touch of a phantom hand over my own, you are stronger than you know...
I close my eyes and give myself to the Force.
To him in this moment.
Help me, he is pain...there is so much pain...
I feel his hand over mine, guiding me to the wound and the creature screams...but it is in fear and hurt...
Calm, he whispers in my mind, to heal you must be calm...
I take in a ragged breath and pull myself away from the creature's pain...but it is nearly overwhelming and I lose my focus...
Center yourself Rey...let the Force flow through you...
His voice is my lodestone and I feel his power flowing into me, a dance of darkness and light...I can feel the Force...the energy of life around me...
Channel your energy...focus your will into your intent...feel the blood stop flowing...the flesh to knit...
Our hand moves over the wound and I feel the change beneath our fingers. The pain is becoming less...the scent of iron no longer coating the air...I pour my energy into the healing...and it's not enough.
Ben...I don't have the strength...
For a moment I feel his body around me, the living heat of his strength surrounding me.
Yes you do, cool starlight and the caress of shadows that is his voice, believe in the impossible Rey...and it is no longer impossible...
The strength of his faith in me...his unwavering belief in my own power...I redouble my efforts and focus solely on healing the Vexis.
Believe in the impossible...
Ben believes in me...now I need to believe in myself.
I gasp as the Force becomes a tide and power flows out of me and into the Vexis.
The wound that I had been struggling to heal closes within seconds. The Vexis has become still beneath our touch.
There is no pain, no fear.
Only tranquil calm and peace.
He is whole once more.
The strength goes out of me...and for a second I feel Ben's arms around me, protectively cradling me.
I...Ben...
Hush Rey...you healed him...
He's fading from my mind. The soft, scent of rain and gentle starlight leaving me.
No...please...
I'm alone.
I clutch my hand to my chest, tears blurring my eyes as his touch lingers over my skin.
For a second our powers had melded and I no longer felt split in half.
His loss is almost more than I can bare.
A soft chirping noise that makes me look up and I see the Vexis peering at me with dark, liquid eyes.
"You're welcome."
I lift my hand to his face and he gently presses his head into my hand, the cool touch of his scales strange but oddly comforting before he pulls away and uncoils his body.
Revealing another tunnel and with it the scent of warm air and light.
It was the way out of here.
"Rey!"
"Rey...what did you do? You were just sitting there..."
"A Jedi can heal." I murmur softly to them, clutching my hand to my chest.
"Well whatever you did, it just saved our butts. Let's get the hell out of here! I've had enough of creepy tunnels and their occupants."
"Yes...of course..."
BB-8 at my side, a soft whistle and I smile for the little droid.
"I'm...I'm okay. Right behind you."
I get to my feet, the healing has taken a toll but I still have strength to stand.
I healed that creature and in doing so I saved all of our lives.
But I couldn't have done it without Ben.
He's out there, searching for me.
I had better not keep him waiting any longer.
We have unfinished business, he and I.