Leilani

Late that night, I sat on my window seat, staring out the window in my pyjamas. My window was open a crack and I was getting chilly, but I didn't care.

It had become a habit, now. To let in the little things that usually bothered me. Letting my hip get scraped against the corner of the kitchen counter. Letting the bathroom door open against my foot too hard. All small punishments because I was too weak to do anything more substantial. They would have to do for now.

My back against the wall started sliding down, putting my neck at an uncomfortable angle. I closed my eyes, forcing myself to stay there. I didn't know what to do with the Jasper situation at all. Perhaps I didn't need to do anything. Just walk away from him. From everything. Everyone would be all the happier for it. The Cullens could keep all their secrets.

I slid down too far which really strained my neck, making me instinctively sit back up. That was enough for now. Rubbing the back of my neck, the ends of my hair brushing against my hand, I turned the light off and got into bed.

I snuggled down below the covers, taking a few minutes as it started to warm up. Of course, not tired at all, I began browsing some videos on my phone.

A message popped up. From Jasper.

I'm outside.

I stared at the message for a second and then put my phone down. Without thinking, I switched my lamp back on. I went back over to the window and opened it wide. Down below, he was standing in the drive, looking up at me.

"What are you doing here?" I said as quietly as I could so my parents wouldn't hear, but loud enough that hopefully he would hear me.

"To explain. Can I come in?" Jasper asked.

I peered at my door over my shoulder, worried my parents might hear if I opened the front door downstairs. I'd have to disable the alarm too.

"Ok, I'll go and open the door." I whispered down to him.

"No need, step back."

He wasn't going to climb through the window?

He was.

Suddenly Jasper was gripping onto the window frame, pulling himself through into my room with ease. I couldn't stop myself from standing there, staring at his dishevelled appearance.

"You've got a leaf." I nodded, motioning towards his chin length wavy blonde hair.

He ran his fingers through the messy strands and pulled it out before tossing it out the window.

"Thanks."

We stood there awkwardly for a minute, neither of us seeming to know what to say or how to start.

"So, you're a-," I began.

At the same time, he started, "How did you-,"

Both of us stopped, and I smiled slightly.

"You first," he said.

I took a seat on the sofa. "Do you want to sit down? And can you shut the window?"

"Sure," he did what I asked, sitting down beside me, although keeping as much distance between us as possible.

Aware of my hand, I crossed my arms, keeping it under my elbow.

"So, you're a vampire?" I broke the silence.

Jasper nodded. "Yeah."

"This is insane. I… how?"

He hesitated for a moment. "It's quite a long story."

I stood up, retrieving my jacket from the floor and pulling the photo out of the pocket. I held it up, sitting back down. "This is you. From the Eighteen hundreds?"

"Yeah, it is," he replied. "How did you get this?"

I shrugged. "It was posted to me. There was no letter, just this in an envelope. I thought it was some kind of joke. Or that you were a ghost."

I expected him to laugh at me for thinking he was a ghost, but he didn't. Instead he took the photo and looked at it closely, turning it over. "Alice," he murmured.

"Alice send this to me?" I frowned. "Why?"

Unexpectedly, Jasper smiled. "I think she's rooting for us."

I shook my head. "But tell me, you were born in Texas. You became a solider. For the Confederacy?" I cringed. "You're not still-?" I broke off, not wanting to say the words out loud.

Jasper did it for me. "Am I still a racist?" he shook his head. "I have no excuse for my actions. While it was expected of me, I also wanted the glory that came with the war. I've done some horrible things."

I listened, trying to process all the facts.

"After only two years, I was found by another vampire – Maria. She turned me for her own wars. The vampire wars in the South which were constant battles over territory." He continued. "Normally she only kept newborns."

"Newborns?"

"The first year after being turned is when we're at our strongest," Jasper explained. "That's why Maria only wanted to keep them."

"What happened after the first year?" I questioned, already knowing the answer.

"They were killed." He swallowed, looking straight ahead. His eyes seemed very far away. "It was my job, to dispose of them."

That must have been horrible. I wanted to say something, but couldn't find anything that would make any difference.

"I was different – I'm not like other vampires. That's why she never got rid of me. Some of us have gifts."

"What do you mean?"

Jasper turned back to face me. "I always know how you feel. I know how you're feeling now. Curious, concerned, sad, alone."

I stared at him, my breaths shallow and my throat stung. "How?" I mumbled hoarsely.

"I'm an empath. I can feel everyone else's emotions, and in turn change them. I could make someone angry, or excited, or calm."

Instantly one thought came to my mind. "You could change how I feel. If you wanted to," I whispered, looking down at my crossed legs.

Jasper touched my left hand and held it. "I wish I could, Leilani. I'm sorry, it doesn't work like that."

I nodded, pressing my lips together. My throat really ached now.

"I can only change what's on the surface in the moment, not your thoughts or symptoms."

"I understand." I closed my eyes. At least holding his hand felt good. "How did you escape?"

Jasper continued recounting his story. He told me all about Peter and Charlotte, who had convinced him to run away with them. And then how he'd met Alice. She had already been waiting for him, ready to become his little sister and take him to meet the rest of their new family. They'd lived and travelled together ever since.

"We have several residences all over the world that we move to every few years. We can't stay for too long because people would notice we don't age. Of course, there have been a few," he paused. "Slip ups. People getting suspicious, or murders."

"Earlier," I said. "You couldn't stand being near me."

"Please, forgive me for that, Leilani," Jasper grimaced. "It's easier if I'm prepared for it."

"By eating before?" I furrowed my brow.

"Animals," Jasper said, quickly. "My family only drink the blood of animals. That's why our eyes are golden instead of red."

I let out the breath I'd been holding.

"It's not the same, though. Animals can never truly satisfy us. And being the last one in the family to change my… diet, means that I have the most trouble."

I took a few minutes to go through everything he'd said. "So, you don't age, you drink animal blood for food, you can change people's emotions. Tell me more about vampires."

It turned out vampires were also fast, strong, had extremely heightened senses.

"You are taking this a lot better than I thought you would." Jasper exclaimed.

I took a deep breath. "It's quite a bit, but we're friends, Jasper. I know you'd never hurt me." Quickly I remembered he could feel how much I liked him, and I turned away, my cheeks very warm.

"What's wrong?" he asked, an amused smile forming on his face out the corner of my eye.

"I'm just so aware now that you know how I feel."

"That's not a bad thing," he took my hand again. "I love it."

His words did nothing to stop me blushing, and I smiled to myself, holding his hand. We sat like that for a few minutes, enjoying each other's company.

"If I've answered all your questions," Jasper said. "Then I have some for you."

I looked back at him - my eyebrows raised. "What do you want to know?" After everything he had said about vampires, I didn't have anything remotely interesting to tell.

"What happened to your hand?"

My smile faltered. He knew exactly how I was feeling. It would be impossible to lie to him without him knowing it, perhaps only if I was the most confident person in the world. Even without his gift, I wondered if I was possible to lie to any vampire when they could pick out every detail.

"Broken photo frame. It was the glass," I said.

Jasper touched my right shoulder and trailed his hand down to mine, turning it over in my lap so my palm was facing up. "You did this yourself," he stated.

After what felt like a long time, I whispered, "Yes."

"Leilani," Jasper said, looking very serious. "I need you to promise me you won't hurt yourself again."

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat away and took an unsteady breath. "I don't know how to answer that because, if I say yes, what happens when I do? And if I say no, I'm scared I'll never see you again." I blinked a few times, trying to clear my vision. "What do you think happened with my ex?"

"Listen to me," said Jasper.

Slowly I brought my eyes up to his face. "I'm not going anywhere, Leilani. At least promise me you'll try. If you think about hurting yourself, tell me, please."

"Ok," I breathed, one of the tears escaping down my cheek. "I'll try." Letting go of Jaspers hands, I brushed it away.

He had begun leaning forwards, towards me. Soon enough we were only inches from each other. I was still looking down at our hands, but I could feel his presence nearing me.

"Is this too close?" I asked, worried about him being able to smell my hand.

"No," he murmured. "Not close enough."

I didn't move, waiting for him. "Then come here."

Jasper's hands moved to my waist as he moved to pull me into an embrace. I couldn't sit still any longer, bringing myself forwards against him, into his arms.

He held me, tightly, securely. I quickly began to relax against his rock-hard chest, breathing in the wooden scent and closing my eyes. I didn't know whether it was natural or if Jasper was influencing me. Either way, it felt good, and I enjoyed it.

"I think I'm ok with this," I mumbled.

"What?" he asked.

"You being a vampire."

He laughed. "Good."

I smiled against his shirt.

We stayed there a bit longer, until I shivered. I pulled away to rub my arms.

"You should try and get some sleep," Jasper said. "It's past one."

"What about you?"

"Oh," he smiled sheepishly. "I, uh, don't."

I stared at him. "You don't sleep?"

He shook his head. "Never."

"That must kind of suck. Not being able to turn off for a few hours."

"Honestly, I don't remember what that's like."

I stood up, and so did Jasper.

"When will I next see you?" I asked him.

"If you want me to, I can stay."

There was no denying I wasn't pleased at the idea. "Won't you be bored?"

He grinned, "I can keep the other monsters away."

I smiled. "Alright."

Taking his hand, I led him towards the bed. I got under the covers and slid across. I pulled up my pillow against the headboard so I could lean against it. Jasper sat on top of the covers, doing the same with the second pillow.

"I don't get much sleep these days, anyway," I said.

"How come?" Jasper lent his shoulder against the pillow he could look at me easier.

I mirrored him. "It just takes me ages to get to sleep. And then I usually wake up really early. I think it's another depression thing."

Jasper met my eyes. "I could always help you with that."

I looked down at the pink floral duvet cover, fiddling with it between my fingers. "How? Isn't that difficult? Doesn't it use energy," I stammered, feeling my heart rate speed up. I was so aware of everything I was doing now that I knew what Jasper was.

He placed his hand on top of mine, stroking it gently. "It's very easy. I've had a lot of practice."

I took a breath, trying to steady my racing heart, hesitating before meeting his eyes again. They were so warm. Finally, I asked, "Will you show me how it works?"

"Yeah," he said in a soft voice. "Lie down and get comfortable."

I moved my pillow down and pulled up the covers as Jasper switched the lamp off, plunging the room into darkness.

At once, I felt all my muscles melting into the mattress. My heart rate slowed and my breathing evened. I closed my eyes, all the bad feelings so far away. Any awkwardness or embarrassment I'd had just evaporated. I was almost floating. It was bliss.

I couldn't even find the strength to say anything, or even move. I was totally relaxed.

The last thing I heard was Jasper wishing me goodnight, before darkness took me.