Needless to say, soon enough the inside of Mabel's bubble disintegrated into chaos, and the little rescue party were forced to flee for their lives on the back of Waddles, who was somehow a) here, even though as far as Dipper knew he'd been back at the Mystery Shack when all this madness started, and b) giant-sized. Despite that, he was glad to ride him to safety, as Mabel used an enormous knitting needle to quite literally burst her bubble.

The six of them resurfaced in a giant pile of confetti, back in the real world, and back in their old torn-up clothes. A few seconds later Waddles, back to normal size, poked his head out of the confetti too; Mabel squealed and pulled him into her arms. Ford reached into the front pocket of his hoodie, and sighed with relief when he found the quantum destabilizer still snug inside of it.

To Dipper's alarm, there was no sign of McGucket's robot. Also, as he stood up to look for it he saw instead a series of large, dark shapes on the horizon, coming rapidly closer. Even from this distance, he could hear them laughing and screeching on the wind.

"Um, Great Uncle Ford…"

Ford looked up-and blanched.

"QI'yaH!"

He immediately covered his mouth, and glanced at them apologetically, before realizing they had bigger problems than whatever it was he'd just said. "We need to hide! Quickly, this way!" He began herding them towards a nearby rock formation that even Dipper could tell wouldn't be of much use in the long run...but had to admit, their other options were kind of limited.

All around them there was nothing but flat, empty wasteland, and the car they'd used to get here in the first place was still on the other end of the canyon.

They were well and truly trapped.

"Great Uncle Ford, what do we do?!" he asked as they ducked behind the shelter.

"You are all going to stay here," Ford ordered. He pulled the quantum destabilizer out of his pocket, and after looking back and forth between them, handed it to Dipper as apparently the most responsible-looking one of the bunch. Then he drew one of his other guns. "I'll lure them away. When I get far enough-"

"Dude, I gotta ask, are you nuts?" Wendy demanded, stepping right into his path. "You don't stand a chance against all of those freaks!"

"I've done it before!" Ford snapped. "Besides, I'm pretty sure it's me they're after, not you!"

"Which is exactly why it's a stupid idea! You'd just be giving them what they want! How about you try again, and come up with a plan that doesn't involve giving Bill any kind of advantage over us?!"

Ford growled in frustration. "Must you question all my decisions, St-"

"LOOK!"

Everyone was distracted from the mini-drama taking place by Candy's cry; they turned, and saw what she was pointing at.

The creatures were almost upon them now, revealing that, as they had suspected, they were Bill's various minions. And they were almost upon them by now, just reaching the canyon.

Mabel whimpered a little, and Dipper instinctively grabbed her hand.

Ford tried to shove past Wendy, but she shoved him back, showing far more strength than her thin fifteen-year-old body seemed capable of.

And then a giant black tentacle rose up out of the canyon and smacked the giant sentient teeth out of the sky, sending them flying to smash through one of the few billboards that was still standing in town.

Slowly, like the great leviathan that was supposed to rise from the ocean on Judgement Day, McGucket's robot oozed up out of the giant crevice. It roared, and balanced itself on one set of tentacles, while using the ones composing its other "arm" to grab two more monsters and smash their heads together before dropping them to the ground.

Another monster, the pink one that was maybe a female, lunged with a shrill cry; the robot lassoed her with one of its tentacles, pinning her arms to her sides, and hurled her into the other monsters like a bowling ball amongst nine pins. It took advantage of their dazedness to turn and come lunging over towards the group's hiding spot.

Candy and Mabel both screamed, and tried to run; Dipper and Soos had to hurriedly grab them.

"It's okay, that's McGucket!"

"He built another robot?!" Mabel looked up at it in amazement-just before it grabbed them up in one tentacle, pig and all, and thrust them into its mouth.

For one horrifying moment Dipper wondered if they'd made a mistake, and this actually was some kind of surreal monster that McGucket had based his robot on and they were about to be digested by it.

But then, when the jaws closed, a green light began to glow inside the mouth, and a familiar screechy voice came from an intercom in the wall.

"Hold on tight, everyone-Ah jes' gotta get us away from these critters!" McGucket whooped, and they were suddenly being thrown around like pinballs as the robot began moving again.

Ford grabbed Dipper and Mabel, holding them against him so his body would absorb most of the impact. To his relief, no matter how complicated their emotions might be towards him right now they both clung to him, burying their faces in his chest as they went flying forward to collide with the robot's front "teeth."

Fiddleford really does need to install some kind of safety precautions in this thing.

Then he felt his stomach get left behind as a distinct sensation of plummeting downwards occurred, and managed to grab onto the tip of one of the teeth to keep them anchored in place.

There was a loud "WHOA!" and a thud above them, indicating that Soos had not been as lucky; Ford just held both his kids as best he could and hoped Fiddleford knew what he was doing.

The robot surged up and down several more times-almost like being on a roller coaster-before it finally came to a stop.

Ford lifted his head and looked up at the other children. "Is everyone all right?"

Dipper sat up. "Groan to let us know you're alive."

A chorus of "Uggggghhhh" rose up, along with a pained-sounding grunt.

Mabel hurriedly scrambled away from Ford. "Waddles! Stay where you are, Waddles, I'll come to you!" She rushed off to find her pig.

A few seconds later there was a ding, and the elevator at the back of the throat opened up. Fiddleford came hobbling out onto the tongue.

"Didja get-" he saw Mabel- "oh good, ya did! Good ta see you're okay, munchkin! So, where to now, folks?"

Ford sat up and ran a hand through his hair. "...Where are we?"

"Somewhere a couple hunnerd feet unnerground, last I checked!"

Wendy blinked. "Whoa, really?"

Fiddleford nodded and grinned. "Most of the monsters ain't interested in goin' below the surface, not when there's a lotta people up there they can mess with, so in between rescuin' whoever I can find we mostly jes' hide out down in here, do a bit o' explorin'. Kinda like Captain Nemo, 'cept we ain't in the ocean!"

Mabel stood up. "We need to come up with a plan to rescue Grunkle Stan."

Fiddleford piloted the robot further along the canyon until he found a ledge they could safely rest on, and then everyone gathered for a council of war in the eating area. Ford idly noticed that a couple of new people appeared to have been picked up while they were gone, but again, nobody he was all that familiar with.

"Great Uncle Ford, what happened to your trench coat?" Mabel asked as they waited for everyone to get settled in.

"Wendy made him switch clothes because Bill's probably looking for someone dressed like he usually is," Dipper leaned around Ford to tell her.

"Oh." She looked at him thoughtfully, chewing a strand of hair. "...It's actually not that bad. I mean, it doesn't swish around dramatically like the trench coat does, but it can still work."

Ford's shoulders inadvertently hunched. "As soon as I can I'm getting my regular clothes back."

"Oh come on, dude!" Wendy sighed. "Look, the reason why you're hating your new outfit so much is because you're not putting any effort into owning it!"

Ford blinked. "...Technically you stole this, so I can't really own-"

She groaned. "It's an expression. Look, just-stand up for a second."

Ford reluctantly did so. Wendy pulled him over to one of the walls, which had a kind of reflective surface, and lifted his hood up until it was partly covering his eyes.

"Okay, now shoulders back, and hold one of your guns loosely by your hip."

Ford did so, even as he felt increasingly bemused.

Wendy nodded her approval; so did the other children, who had all clustered around him. "Yeah, that's a lot better. Nice and intimidating."

"Dude, you look totally sick!" one of Wendy's brothers piped up.

Ford gave her a look. "See? He thinks I look terrible."

Wendy guffawed. "No, that-that's a compliment now."

Ford blinked. "...I do not understand modern vocabulary at all."

At that moment, though, the last people showed up for the meeting, and they all went back to their seats.

Fiddleford sighed and scratched his head under his hat once they were all settled around the tables.

"Up to this point I've mostly been able ta wander around freely, since all the monsters jes' think this here's another monster, but after I rescued you lot there's a chance the cat's outta the bag. Otherwise I'd just march right up ta that ugly peer-amid right now."

"Thanks for saving us, McGucket," Mabel said, beaming at him.

Fiddleford smiled a little shyly, and reached out to ruffle her hair. "Ah hush-it was nuthin'."

"Maybe we could use this robot to dig a tunnel to under the Fearamid, and then burst out and punch right through it like Rumble McSkirmish!" Soos suggested, punching a fist in the air for emphasis.

Fiddleford let out a slightly long-suffering sigh. "We've talked about this, boy. This machine ain't equipped for digging or punching. It's got tentacles. You caint use tentacles for punchin'."

Soos's shoulders hunched. "Sorry, dude."

"Do you think you could build another robot?" Dipper asked. But then he flinched. "Never mind; we probably don't have that kind of time."

"We should go back to the Mystery Shack," Ford finally spoke up.

Everyone looked at him in surprise.

"It's been specifically fortified for protection against Bill; it's probably the safest place in Gravity Falls right now. That way all of you can stay safe."

Despite how casually he tried to say it, Fiddleford's eyes narrowed; so did Wendy's and Dipper's.

"What about you, Stanford?" Fiddleford asked, folding his skinny arms.

Ford sighed. "I have a weapon we can use to destroy Bill." He produced the quantum destabilizer. "If I go alone, I can probably get into the Fearamid and-"

"What part of 'come up with a plan that doesn't give Bill a potential advantage over us' did you not understand?" Wendy demanded. "I swear, it's like you got some kinda martyr complex or something!"

"Yeah! Great Uncle Ford, there's no way you can take on Bill by yourself!" Dipper's voice cracked with anxiety.

"Dipper, you don't understand-"

"Don't understand what? That you feel like this whole mess is your fault so you have to be the one to fix it?"

Ford froze. His nephew stared up at him defiantly.

"Yeah, I know what that feels like. And it's not true, no matter how much you think it is."

Ford flinched. "Bill wouldn't be in this dimension at all if it wasn't for me. He persuaded me to build the portal, and give him access to my mind, and-"

"Do you hear yourself?"

To his surprise, it was that blonde-haired girl from earlier who spoke. She was leaning her elbow on the table and giving him a very unimpressed stare.

"You're saying it's your fault that someone else tricked and manipulated you? That-that's like a whole new level of victim blaming!"

Ford spluttered, until he felt a tiny hand slip into his.

"Pacifica's right, Grunkle Ford," Mabel said, squeezing his hand. "This isn't your fault."

Ford felt a small lump rise in his throat, tried to swallow it. "But-"

"No buts." She sat up on the edge of the table, and gave him a stern glare. "Look. Is it Dipper's fault that Bill tricked him into letting him steal his body and try to destroy the journal?"

"Of course not!" Just the thought made Ford's stomach churn.

"Is it-" Mabel flinched, and looked down guiltily for a second, before appearing to change whatever she'd been about to ask. "Then it's not your fault Bill tricked you either. He's a big yellow jerk who likes to hurt people, and you should stop beating yourself up for what happened."

The lump was becoming rapidly harder to swallow; all Ford could manage was a tiny nod.

Dipper stood up on his chair and looked around at everyone else. "I do think Great Uncle Ford is right in that we should go to the Mystery Shack. We can figure out our next move from there, maybe after we get a chance to sleep. That okay with everyone else?"

There were eager nods all around.

Dipper turned to Fiddleford. "You think you can get us there?"

Fiddleford grinned and saluted. "Don't you worry none! Ah'll bring us there in double the speed-I've been meanin' ta see how fast Ah can make this baby go!" And he scampered off for the elevator towards the control room.

Everyone looked at each other nervously.

Fortunately, they managed to make it to the Shack with minimal injury and bouncing around, and hurriedly made their way inside. Somehow it was still unoccupied, but it swiftly became way more crowded than usual with so many people coming in; regardless, they made themselves comfortable as best they could. Ford (somewhat reluctantly) allowed some of them to set up down in the basement, and all the kids decided to have a sort-of slumber party up in the attic.

Despite (or perhaps because of) all the stress they'd been undergoing, before long virtually everyone was fast asleep.

Late in the lack-of-night, however, one person was wide awake, and composing a letter in the room that had been his ever since he returned. It took him quite some time to figure out exactly what he wanted to say, but at last he was satisfied with the end result.

Dear Dipper and Mabel,

I understand what you told me about Bill's presence in Gravity Falls not being my fault, and I appreciate it. However, whether or not it is my fault, it is my responsibility, and I don't want to risk anyone else's life on my account.

I am going to go save Stanley alone, by any means necessary; I beg all of you to stay in the Shack, and not attempt to come after me, because if Bill were to harm any of you I would never forgive myself.

One way or another, I mean for this insanity to come to an end.

-Ford

Ford left the note in an envelope on the kitchen table, addressed to his niece and nephew. Then, carrying Dipper's flashlight and the quantum destabilizer in the pouch of his hoodie, he slipped out the front door.

I think I can guess everyone's answer to the chapter title. :P