Hi! Thank you for reading! I know everyone is wanting Tobias to find out but I promise it's coming up so soon so please just wait a couple of more chapters no more than three maybe even two so please stay with me! I really appreciate everyone reading and sticking with me!

Tris

When Christina said her sister Rose was using her house to host a dildo party, she wasn't kidding. The second I walk through the door, a dick quite literally slaps me in the face. From the ceiling, pink rubber dildos hang around a string, all in various lengths and...girths.

I catch Christina's gaze from across the room, and a laugh bursts from my chest at the expression on her face. If my friend is already overwhelmed by the obscene amount of dicks in here tonight, I'm sure I will be, too.

When I bypass the table in the hall with flavored condoms and dick lollipops, I'm hit with a sweltering wave of wariness. There are phalluses everywhere. Idly, I wonder if I turn back now, maybe no one will notice. Except for Christina, of course. She'd definitely have my ass if I try to leave. Summoning the courage to step into Christina's living room that sounds like it's filled with women, I slam my eyes shut and inhale a deep breath.

It's just a room full of women from my past—no big deal.

The second I cross over the threshold, it definitely turns into a big deal. Conversations dwindle, then the whispers start as if I'm not even there. I can feel gazes from my past drilling holes into me. Heat prickles my skin, settling in my cheeks, uncomfortably so. My steps falter when I spot Nita Matthews sitting next to her best friend, Molly Holloway. Molly rakes her gaze down my body, from head to toe. She leans into Nita and whispers, but it's still loud enough that I can hear it.

"She had a baby, and the father left them. It's just so sad."

A tight cinch squeezes my chest, and I hurry across the room, settling next to Christina. I can feel everyone's curious eyes on me, and for reasons I can't even explain, I'm embarrassed and ashamed. How many of them are looking at me like I'm a failure? How many of them are feeling sorry for me because my daughter's father isn't a part of our lives?

I'm sure all they see is the quiet and awkward Tris, who is now all grown up and still can't keep a man. She couldn't capture Tobias' attention, and she couldn't even keep her baby daddy's attention. I can practically hear their thoughts blending together as one. They're a riot in my head, pounding against my skull, hammering into my fractured soul.

Little do they know, it's my own fault my daughter's father isn't a part of her life. It isn't because I can't keep a man; it's just because I'm an idiot. I'm a horrible person.

"Ignore them. They're too bored with their own lives to mind their own damn business." Christina bends near my ear, whispering the words reassuringly. She pats my thigh, trying to make me feel more comfortable about this whole awkward situation.

It's not working.

I haven't seen Nita Matthews since that morning after the creek when my heart was ripped to shreds. She's still gorgeous as ever. Though now, her hair is a bright platinum blond. It's not natural platinum. It's obvious this is the work of a salon. She wears much more makeup than I remember her wearing years ago, and clothes so tight, I know they can't be comfortable. Even though I shouldn't, I can't seem to stop staring at her, taking in everything about her.

Flashes of the past keep slamming into me, one after another. Nita and Tobias at their prom. Nita and Tobias groping each other in the shadows. Nita and Tobias driving off together the morning after he took my virginity.

There's a burning in my chest. A green spill of envy spreads into the cavity, making it hard to breathe. I'm jealous of her. I've always been jealous of her because she's had pieces of the man I've always wanted. And now...now that he wants to go on a date with me, of all people, I just can't seem to wrap my head around any of it.

When did things in this town get so ass-backwards?

I quickly look elsewhere when Nita glances my way, staring straight at me. My crush on her boyfriend was obviously no secret to anyone here in town. Nita always knew about it, and I'm positive she's always hated me for it. I try not to think about her and Tobias, but I must enjoy pain because I can't help myself. Part of me wonders what happened between them. When I left town, how much longer did they stay together? Or how much longer did they continue their friends-with-benefits relationship?

What made them call it quits?

Do they still have feelings for each other?

I'm all too thankful when Rose finally takes her place centerstage in the living room. She claps her hands together excitedly.

"Thank you all for taking the time out of your busy schedules to be here today. I really appreciate it. If you haven't already guessed why you're here, this is a sex toy party!" She throws her arms in the air and accidentally slaps one of the hanging dicks. I clamp my lips together, trying like hell not to burst out laughing.

"I've teamed up with a local brand to be a sponsor for their products. I'll host these parties every few months to keep you all up-to-date on the newest and hottest products we have in store and online. All participants today will receive a goodie bag, and using my discount, you'll get ten percent off any item of your choosing. Now," she says, clasping her hands together, "I know you all didn't come here today to hear me talk, so without further ado, I'm going to have Chris pass around our first product, a version of the famous Jack Rabbit. Feel free to pass it around and get a good look at it. You can turn it on and watch how it works. There's also a catalog in front of you where you can mark the products you're interested in."

Most of the party is spent doing just that. I watch as sex toy after sex toy is passed around, each one more intricate than the previous one. There's a permanent flush on my cheeks that I'm sure will never leave after seeing the things I've seen here today. I'm not a prude. Or at the very least, I don't think I am, but I'll also say, I've never used any kind of sex toy before.

For one, I've lived with my mother for the past five years, so having a dildo or anything of the like hardly seemed appropriate. And two, I have a curious five-year-old who is much too nosy for her own good. The last thing I need is her finding a dildo and running around the house with it. That seems more like a nightmare than it would be pleasurable.

I can admit that by the time we near the end of the party, I'm sort of enjoying myself. I've missed Christina. She makes me laugh, even in the worst situations, like this current one. We play a few games, and sadly, I'm the lucky winner of one of the products. I try to pass it off on Christina, begging her to take it from me, but she just laughs, pushing the box back toward me.

"Oh, no, that's all yours, girlfriend. You'll be needing it since you've been turning down a certain someone left and right."

I shoot Christina a glare, drilling holes into the side of her head with my eyes, begging her to shut it. It's too late, though. The women closest to us have caught on.

"Who have you been turning down?"

"Someone's been showing interest?"

"Oh, my. Who is it?"

My grip tightens around the box, and I have the sudden urge to chuck it at Christina's head. I mouth the word, "Asshole," to her, but she just grins cheekily in response. I try not to let it bother me that a few women seem surprised someone is showing interest at all.

"It's Tobias. He's been asking Tris here out on dates, and because Tris is a complete psycho, she keeps turning him down. He even brought her flowers."

A handful of gasps sound around the room, and suddenly, I'm the focus of everyone's attention. Molly chokes on a scorn-filled laugh.

"I'm sorry, did you just say Tobias as in Tobias Eaton?" There's disbelief in her tone. It has me wishing this couch would just swallow me whole—anything to get out of this room. I risk a glance at Molly and find her glaring at me. When I glance to her left, Nita is staring at me with an odd expression on her face. It's not quite anger, but she's obviously not happy about this news. She sniffs, turning her nose up at me, and she pretends not to care. But it's obvious she does.

That's just another reason I need to steer clear of Tobias.

"Well, I say it's about damn time you two get together," Rose says.

I shake my head. "Oh, no. We're not...I'm not...I said no."

"Why the hell would you do that?" everyone damn near shouts in unison.

"No offense, but why would he bother with you? You have a kid?" There's no mistaking the disgust that laces Molly's tone. I press my lips together, holding in the cold retort that's on the tip of my tongue.

That's my cue to leave.

"Ignore her. Some people don't understand what fate is," Christina tosses back at Molly. I force a smile on my face and push up.

"I should probably get going anyway. I do have a daughter to get home to. It was so great seeing you all again. And Rose, I had fun. Thank you for...this." I raise the box that's in my hands, still not sure how the hell I'm going to get rid of this thing.

Christina walks me to the front door, her face colored with anger. She keeps muttering under her breath, and I can only imagine what has her this upset. Christina has always been the momma bear in our friendship. Where I'm the quiet wallflower, she's the outspoken one who's not afraid to tell anyone what's on her mind, or more like, put someone in their place.

"Who does that bitch think she is?" she hisses. Snatching the box from my hands, she shoves it inside a nondescript bag, then gives it back to me.

I blow out a sigh. "It's fine. I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't have to be used to anything. People should just be decent human beings instead of assholes who weren't raised right."

I grin at her. "You know I love you, right?"

That gets her to calm down some. "I love you, too. Do me a favor. Bring my niece over soon? I'm kind of dying to fill her head with some mementos she can keep forever."

I roll my eyes, edging toward the door. "Oh, yeah, because that's exactly what my five-year-old needs. Mementos from you, of all people."

"What? I'm great!"

I can't even hold back my laughter on my way out. "Bye, Chris. See you tomorrow."

"Seven sharp!"

"Got it," I toss back over my shoulder, as I make my way down the porch steps. I glance to my left since that's the way back home, but I pause, my head automatically turning right toward the creek. It's already late. I should probably head home and get to bed early before work tomorrow, but I find myself taking the detour anyway. Almost like the creek and the moon are calling my name.

I pass over the hill, and my steps falter when I near the water. I notice something lying in the grass, and when I close in on what it is, my heart trips over itself in my chest. My stomach dips, those pesky butterflies taking flight when I spot the bouquet of daisies. They look a bit wilted as though they've been sitting out here for a day, which makes sense since I didn't have a chance to come sit out here last night. Tobias must've stopped by, thinking I'd be here, and left them for me.

Glitter bursts in my chest at the thought. It's billowy and airy. Like an explosion of sparkles.

I plop down in the grass with a permanent grin etched on my face as I stare down at the flowers.

"I take it you like them."

I startle at the sound of his voice, whipping around to face him. My eyes widen when I finally spot him closing the distance between us, taking in every muscular inch of him. "Oh my God! How do you keep doing that?"

He's dressed casually again in work clothes—only that's not all. He's holding another bouquet. This time, it's peonies.

"Tobias...you shouldn't have."

He shrugs, taking a seat on the grass next to me. He hands the second set of flowers off to me with a grin. "I wanted to. I plan on going through every flower until we find the one."

"The one?"

He leans back, showcasing his incredible body in that shirt. "The one that makes you say yes, of course."

My laughter comes out embarrassingly close to a giggle. "You're insane. Seriously. How did you even know I'd be here?"

"I didn't. I hoped you would be, though. I came last night, stayed for a while, hoping you'd show, but when you didn't, I left the flowers, figuring it was too late to drop them off at the house. I didn't want to scare Luna or piss Andrew off."

I snort. "You really waited?"

"Yeah. Figured I'd try again tonight. I stopped at your house first, but I heard you were out, so I was hoping you'd be here."

At the mention of me being out, I think of Nita and try to ignore the jealousy filling my veins at the thought of the two of them together. I have no right to feel that way. She had him first. He was never even mine to have in the first place. There's a myriad of contradictory emotions rioting inside me at the moment. I'm shocked and pleasantly surprised that he's gone through all this trouble just to see me. I'm angry and jealous because he has a past with a woman I'll never be able to compete with. I'm feeling incredibly guilty because I want to come clean with him about everything, but I'm afraid. I'm so afraid of losing this, of losing my daughter, of letting everyone down.

"Wow. I'm...shocked you did all that."

"Why wouldn't I?" he asks, his brows drawn in, those vibrant blues searching mine for answers. I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth, working through how to respond to that.

Clearing my throat, I glance down at the wild grass between us. I don't know what to talk about or say, so I ask the first thing that comes to mind, even if I already know the answer to it. "So you have your own construction company now?"

He nods, his intense gaze still drilling holes into me. "Yeah, it's been a few years since we've been up and running. It's great. I've always been pretty good with my hands, so it just made sense. Haven't looked back since."

Oh, I know you are, I think to myself. Hell, I can practically feel the heat of his touch on my skin. The memory is both a blessing and a curse.

I smile, glad he was able to find his place, find that perfect something he was always searching for. "I'm happy for you. I always knew you'd go on to do something amazing."

A softness enters Tobias' eyes. There's a warmth there that rolls through my body in waves, making my throat clog with emotion for unknown reasons. He's looking at me like I wished he always would. I always wondered what it would feel like, having his heated gaze caress my flesh.

"What about you? I heard you got a job at Jo's?"

I drop my gaze, blindly picking at the grass between us. A sharp ache drizzles throughout my chest. Why do I feel like a failure all of a sudden? Shame wraps heavily around my shoulders, weighing me down.

"Heard about that, did you?" My voice is a low murmur.

"Small town. News travels fast." As if sensing I'm not exactly proud that I'll be working at a diner, he tries to make me feel better. "There's nothing wrong with working at Jo's, Tris."

I expel a shaky sigh that rattles my chest, my hold on my emotions threatening to crumble. "I guess part of me feels like a failure. Back in Pasadena, I had my own store. Something that was mine, and now, I'll be bussing tables at a diner I frequented as a child. When I thought about where I'd be in life, I didn't think it'd be here. I thought I'd be doing amazing things by now."

"Just because you don't own your own store anymore doesn't mean you aren't doing amazing things. You're raising a daughter on your own. That in itself is amazing."

Slowly, I drag my gaze up, meeting his stare. My heart aches dully against my sternum. He doesn't even know, doesn't have a single clue, and it's all my fault. I force a smile on my face that doesn't quite reach my eyes. It's meant to appease him—anything to steer away from this heavy subject.

"Thank you, Tobias. I needed that."

He nods, and for a second, I think he's going to say more on the subject, but he decides not to. For that, I'm all too thankful. As much as I appreciate him trying to make me feel better, I still feel like a horrible human being. Not to mention, a failure of an adult. This train of thought is better left for the moon and me when no one else is around.

Silence descends between us as we stare out at the creek, each of us thinking about something different, I'm sure. Tobias shifts, and when he glances down at the bags sitting between us, near our legs. I feel my entire face go up in flames. Oh, hell. He pushes himself upright, reaching for the bag. Dread settles in my gut, and I silently curse Christina for making me go there tonight.

"Did you do some shopping?" he asks, picking up one of the smaller bags with all the favors inside.

"Wait, don't!" It's too late. I can see the second understanding dawns on his face because his eyes widen and jerk to me. "Oh, God." I groan, dropping my head into my hands, trying to hide from him.

"Well...I wasn't expecting that."

A mortified laugh bursts past my lips, and I pull my hands away from my face, using it to shove at his arm. That's a mistake, though, because in doing so, I can feel all the hard muscles beneath my palm. I have to fight the urge to curl my hand around his bicep and squeeze the muscle there.

"I can explain that. All of it. I swear it's not mine."

He raises a brow, amusement crinkling the corners of his eyes. There's a crooked grin on his face that's doing strange things to my core. He has a slight dimple in his right cheek that is so adorable that I have a hard time looking away. "Oh, it's not?"

I come up short. "Well, it is. But technically, it's not. My best friend's sister was having some...sex toy party with dildos hanging from the ceiling. It was...it was hell on earth."

Tobias tosses his head back and laughs. It's a no-holds-barred kind of laugh. I watch his Adam's apple bob as he works to accommodate his hysterics. "Ah, that certainly makes more sense." He pulls out a six-inch dick-shaped gummy, and we share a look, then we both suddenly collapse into a fit of laughter. I fall into his side, resting my head on his shoulder as we chortle until tears threaten to fall from how hard I'm cackling.

"Let's see what's in this one," he says, once his laughter is partly under control. He starts reaching for the bigger bag, and I toss myself back on the grass, anything to avoid having to look at him as he opens that one. When he does, I hear him choke back his amusement.

"Christ...this is..." He trails off, and I peek one eye open, raising up on my elbows to see what he's referring to. And sure enough, the toy I won just had to be this monstrosity of a curved cock, fully equipped with beads inside that light up and roll around once it's turned on and there's even a clit massager. "Interesting," he murmurs, eyeing the toy as though he's offended such a thing exists for women. I stare at him, taking him in, the way the silver light shines on him like a spotlight. I'd take having him over that thing a thousand times over.

"I'm sure you measure up just fine."

I don't know what makes me say it, and I immediately regret it. Slowly, Tobias turns to look down at me, something dark and hot passing over his eyes. He stares down at me, heat filling his gaze. It has my core clenching and throbbing, and a thrill coursing down my spine.

I open my mouth to correct myself. "I just mean, I'm sure you're fine. I'm sure women enjoy you just fine. I mean, not that I would know. Because I don't. And I don't want to. I just mean not everyone wants that instead of the real thing."

If it's possible, his eyes grow a few shades darker, and his lips twist ruefully as he tries to hide his grin.

"No, wait. That came out wrong again. I'm not saying I want the real thing. From you. Or anyone, for that matter. But I'm not saying I don't not want it either."

When Tobias raises his brows, and his smile breaks free, I slam my eyes shut and toss myself back on the grass again. "That's not right either, is it? God. This is the most embarrassing day of my life."

My heart lurches, and my stomach clenches with desire when I feel him shift. I don't even need to open my eyes to know he's leaning over me. I can feel his body heat and smell his scent. Something clean and minty mixed with something that is inherently Tobias—all testosterone. My heart is pounding in my chest when I hear his question. He's so close.

"And why is that?"

I peel my eyes open, not surprised to find him leaned toward me. He isn't completely hovering over me, but he's close enough that all it would take is for me to reach around his neck and pull his mouth down to mine. And I find that I want to do that more and more with each passing second I stare up at him. His eyes are a dark blue right now as they take me in, moving from my eyes to my lips.

I find myself leaning up toward him slowly, hoping he'll close the distance and kiss me. Like we're drawn together, like two strings being tugged slowly, we grow closer until I feel his breath ghosting across my face.

"I think you know why," I whisper. We're so close, mere inches apart, all it would take is one small movement, and we'd be kissing. I feel the barest hint of his lips against mine, and I almost moan and fall into him. That is, until we hear the sound of loud voices. We jolt apart, just as some random teens come strolling over the hill. They pause when they see us. No doubt these assholes are the ones constantly making a mess out here.

"Aw, fuck. Let's go, man," they say to each other, going back the way they came. Tobias and I share a look. There's a moment when we stare at each other doused in silence.

"I should probably go. It's late," I mutter, pushing up from the ground. If I'm not mistaken, he looks disappointed, but he still helps me stand, nonetheless.

"Want a ride?"

"I shouldn't. We shouldn't."

He frowns. "You shouldn't be walking alone out so late at night, either."

I can tell he isn't going to give in on this, so I acquiesce. "Okay, fine. Just a ride." I start walking toward his truck when I hear him from behind me.

"Can't forget this one."

When I turn, my lips are thinned into a grim line. I roll my eyes, stomping toward him, and snatch the bag from him. "I'm going to kill Christina," I mumble on the way to his truck.

The ride is mostly silent, a thick tension swirling in the confined space between us.

When he pulls to a stop at the curb, we both just sit there, not saying anything. That was too close tonight. I almost risked everything for one kiss. What the hell was I thinking? I have to be stronger. I can't keep doing this.

"Thank you. For the ride. And the flowers. And just...thank you, Tobias."

He smiles. It causes the corners of his beautiful, vibrant eyes to crinkle softly. "You don't need to thank me. I'll see you tomorrow, Tris."

I pause with my hand gripped around the door handle. Unable to help it, I smile. "Right. Good night."

"Good night, beautiful."

Those words drip down from my pounding heart and settle somewhere low in my belly, like a warm dose of nectar or sunshine. They echo on a boisterous repeat as I unlock the front door and shut it behind me. I rest my back on the wood and sag against it.

God, he's even more charming than I thought, I think as I look down at the two bouquets in my hands. I want to believe I can be strong enough to keep saying no to him, but if tonight is any indication, I obviously can't.

Before this escalates any further, I need to come clean. I need to tell him the truth about that night at the creek and about Luna. He's not going to like it, and it's going to hurt, but it has to be done.

I can only hope tomorrow I'm a stronger person than I was today.