My Reader – Chapter Thirteen - If My Friends Could See Me Now
Wednesday was a whirlwind trip around New York. They had already gone to several museums, art galleries, and gardens since they'd come to stay at the Anderson apartment and today was to be a handful of touristy sites.
"You'll love this one!" Blaine exclaimed, getting his clothes on. He chose a pair of ivory pants with an aqua button-down shirt and pink bow-tie. Blaine lifted his pants legs to show Kurt that he was wearing orange socks.
"Gosh, Blaine. All you need is some glitter, you look like an ad for a gay pride parade," Kurt teased, not realizing that his natural snark was showing through. Blaine blushed and hurried back to his room to rethink his outfit for the day.
"Oh, hey, Blaine! I didn't mean anything by that," Kurt rushed to apologize. He hadn't meant to hurt Blaine's feelings.
"No, you're right. Here, how about the ivory pants with a teal blue polo shirt and gray bow tie? Better?" Blaine asked, holding the shirt in front of himself, a sweet smile on his face.
"You look good in anything you wear. New York is a bit more flamboyant than Lima, Ohio. Go ahead and wear whatever your heart desires, Blaine. I know you'll look good and I will be proud to be seen with you," Kurt said, kissing Blaine on his cheek.
"What are you wearing?"
"I thought my navy linen trousers with a short-sleeved white shirt. It has little anchors embroidered in the fabric, and a red tie? I guess I'm feeling kind of patriotic with going to see the Statue of Liberty and all. Would that work?" Kurt asked. He was still in the running suit he'd worn early that morning to take Macushla to the park with Blaine.
"Perfect! Wear good shoes, we'll be walking a lot today," Blaine suggested.
"Is that okay for you? I don't mind doing a bit less because I don't want you to strain your leg. You've only just recovered from that accident. Maybe we should bring your wheelchair?"
"NO. I will be fine, Kurt. I promise to let you know if I get tired or sore, okay?" Blaine pleaded. He was so sick of being babied.
"Okay, I'll trust you to tell me then," Kurt agreed, but he planned to keep a close eye on his friend.
"First stop...Top of the Rock Observatory," Blaine grinned.
He had purchased New York passes that included most of the best tourist sites and put them to the head of the line. Top of the Rock was at the top of an art deco building near Central Park.
"Wow!" Kurt said, looking out over the city.
"Yeah, it's pretty spectacular," Blaine said, coming up in back of Kurt and putting an arm casually around Kurt's waist.
"Is that – the Empire State Building?" Kurt asked, pointing at the building.
"Yeah, it is," Blaine said. He wanted to kiss Kurt, but there were a lot of people in the observatory and he settled for an arm around his waist.
They looked out the glass at the beautiful buildings for a long time before leaving for the next stop.
"Where are we going now?" Kurt asked.
"We have several choices...there's the Fashion Windows Walking Tour that takes us by all the famous fashion houses in New York City, or we can visit the Catacombs under St Patrick's Cathedral...or we can go over to Battery Park and take a cruise of Lower Manhattan and the Statue of Liberty, Governor's Island, and Ellis Island aboard a Tall City Clipper Ship?"
"Oh, my stars in heaven. I don't know...the tall ship? Is that one with big sails?"
"Yes, see?" Blaine opened a window on his phone and showed Kurt the picture.
"Yes! That's the one!" he crowed, excited to see so much in one trip, and to do it aboard a clipper ship.
If my friends could see me now, he thought, they'd never believe it.
He'd picked this one because it seemed to have the least amount of walking. He was still worried about Blaine overdoing it with his leg after just getting out of the wheelchair. The fashion tour sounded good, as did the catacombs, but both were walking tours. This was definitely the best choice.
The weather couldn't have been better as they sailed around Lower Manhattan, the wind in the sails of the ship as they sailed past landmarks. Kurt took photos with his phone camera, but the sites took a backseat to the fun of being on the ship.
"Oh, Blaine, this is the best thing ever. Have you done this before?" Kurt asked.
"Sort of. I've never been on this ship, but we did sail in Greece a few years ago. It's twice the fun being with you, though," Blaine smiled at him.
"I don't know about that – I think seeing the coast of Greece would be so much fun with those white towns with blue roofs?"
"I did see a few of those, but I went with Cooper while our parents were in meetings. You are better company than my goofy brother. Believe me, I'd rather kiss you..." Blaine laughed, leaning over to kiss Kurt.
Kurt nervously looked around, not able to stop the habit after growing up in Lima. He'd been bullied for too long.
"What's up, Kurt? Did you see someone you'd rather kiss?" Blaine asked, only half kidding. Blaine was wondering why Kurt looked around every time he kissed his cheek this morning.
"Oh...nothing. Sorry. I'm not used to being able to show my true self what with the homophobic attitudes in Lima. But you live there – you know what its like," Kurt stumbled.
"I guess so. I guess I forgot what its like away from Dalton."
"Why is it different away from Dalton? That's your high school, right?" Kurt asked, chewing on his cuticle – a thing he never did unless he was incredibly nervous.
"No bullying policy, everyone gets treated the same no matter what," Blaine said in a sing-song voice as if he'd repeated it a thousand times.
"Really? Does that work?"
"Yeah, it does."
Kurt was quiet for a minute, then looked out across the harbor, spotting the Statue of Liberty and pointing. Their attention was captured by the landmark and taking pictures took precedence over their discussion.
It was nearing evening when the boys got home, stumbling into the apartment with wide smiles and sparkling eyes. Macushla greeted them at the door, whining to go out.
"Okay, okay. Let me get your leash..." Blaine said, entering the apartment to grab it. They didn't even stop to change before they were back on the way to Central Park to run the dog.
Forty-five minutes later, food bags in hand, Kurt and Blaine were back at the apartment. They'd stopped by Rosie's food stand to get their favorite lobster sandwiches for the last time.
"Let's eat and then veg in front of the television?" Blaine suggested, clearly tired after the tour of the city.
"Sounds like a plan to me," Kurt said. He was tired, so he knew Blaine had to be exhausted.
They changed into pajamas and cuddled up on the sofa together, popping in a movie.
Blaine turned the sound down.
"You know things are going to be different when we get back," he said, taking Kurt's hand in his.
"Yeah, I guess they will be."
"What way were you thinking?"
"Ah...between us? I mean, well...what did you mean?" Kurt asked, suddenly shy to say what he was feeling.
"We will be good this summer – it's not even half over. We can hang out together, right?"
"Won't you want to be with your other friends? The Warbler guys, Sebastian?" Kurt asked. He didn't know how much it would hurt to say Sebastian's name out loud.
"Yeah, we can hang out with the Warblers – but I'm in no hurry to be with Sebastian. I mean, I hold him no ill will, but I don't want to spend time with him. I want to spend time with you, Kurt."
"You do?"
"Geeze, what do you think? That I have sex with every guy I can get to go to a hotel with me? Really? That didn't mean anything to you?" Blaine asked, incredulous. He sat up away from Kurt's side and stared at him.
"Blaine, wait. You didn't understand – or I didn't. I like you. I like you a lot. But I'm not used to...any of this. I'm used to getting beat up for wearing clothes that are more colorful that the average jock. I'm used to getting slammed into lockers and the teachers turning a blind eye. I'm used to getting invited to the girls' sleepovers because I'm 'safe', where they treat me like one of the girls. I know I'm more comfortable with them – at least they don't hurt me physically, but I'm not a girl.
"To have someone treat me like a..ah...ah...boyfriend? Can I say that? To be treated with respect? As if I mattered? I don't know what to do with that, Blaine. I'm sorry," Kurt blurted, getting up from the sofa to walk into the bedroom he was using. He shut the door quietly.
Blaine just sat on the sofa, stunned. This was the second time he'd felt this way this week, flummoxed that Kurt could go from cuddly pal to cold bitchy attitude in sixty seconds. Would he never figure out how to talk to Kurt?
Knock knock.
"Kurt? Can I come in, Kurt?"
No answer, but Blaine opened the door and walked in anyway. Kurt was curled up on the bed, his face to the wall. Blaine crawled into bed next to him and put his arms around the boy. He didn't say anything, just held him.
Blaine expected Kurt to be crying again, but he wasn't. He just laid there, face to the wall. After a few minutes he pressed back against Blaine.
"So sorry, Kurt. I had no idea it was that bad for you. Want to tell me about it?"
"No. I don't want to think about it, but I guess I do owe you an explanation. You know when I didn't come over to your house and didn't call? I was in the hospital – they hit me so hard they tore my kidney. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to tear your kidney? And it wasn't the first time. Plus, most of the time I have to hide it from my dad. He had a heart attack last year and I can't let him get upset, so I never tell him about the abuse. It hurts me – but it might kill him," Kurt stopped to get some air in his lungs. He was so upset, but he realized it had nothing to do with Blaine so he took a much needed breath and started over.
"This trip, well, it was amazing. Not just because of all the places we saw but because I never had to be on the lookout for some colostomy-seepage asshole to sneak up on me and hurt me. I can't even walk to the park at home without worrying about who might be out there," Kurt went on, not daring to look at Blaine in his rant.
Blaine grinned for just a second. Really? Who called someone 'colostomy-seepage'? Kurt was the snarkiest person he'd ever met and he really appreciated his humor.
"On top of that? I got to spend time with you, Blaine. I mean, it has been so good to watch movies with you, be with you through all of this – but it got even better. I feel so much – and I wasn't sure at first if that was returned. We got closer and then at the castle. . . I'd never have thought of being that close to anyone, but..."
Kurt turned over and kissed Blaine's mouth. Blaine kissed back, holding Kurt next to him.
"It won't be like this back in Lima, will it?" Kurt asked, his face sad.
"What makes you think so? I'm not going to stop wanting you just because we change time zones," Blaine said.
"We won't be together – not alone together. I doubt your mother will allow that, I'm just a paid employee in her eyes, Blaine. You might not see class lines, but I'd bet the farm that she does."
Blaine sighed. Kurt was right. Blaine would have to work hard to convince his mother that there was someone he loved – wait, loved? He examined it, turned it over in his mind and realized that yes, he did love Kurt. He smiled at the thought but it was new and tender, not a thought he could say out loud yet.
"Kurt, I think we can make this work. I'll take care of Mother. We'll be fine," he said in a reassuring tone that was more wishful than it sounded. He leaned forward and kissed Kurt again.
"This is our last night together, Kurt. Let's not waste it because we might not get another one for a while."
In the end they just kissed and cuddled and fell asleep early.
Back in Ohio
"He's fine back there, Blaine, the crate is tied down securely to the bed of the truck and he's safe inside," Burt assured Blaine. He'd picked the boys up at the airport and was going to drive Blaine home before taking his son back to their house.
The three of them got into the pickup, Kurt in the middle, and hooked their seat belts before Burt started the engine.
"Are you glad to be home, Blaine?" Burt asked.
"Of course. I love New York, but our home in Ohio is so green. I don't miss the smoggy air and loud traffic at all," Blaine grinned. He was happy to be home, happy to be here with Kurt in his dad's truck where Kurt had taken his hand and was holding it out of sight between them.
Burt hadn't fallen off the turnip truck yesterday and noticed the boys holding hands, in spite of the fact that Kurt had them hidden between them.
"I bet your mom will be glad to have you back home," he continued. Blaine smiled again, though it wasn't quite so enthusiastic.
"Yes, I know Mother worried about me, but everything is fine," Blaine said. "The surgery went well, I can see just fine, and my legs and arms are all in working order."
"Oh, Dad! I had the best time. The last day we went for a cruise in the harbor on board a clipper ship – the tall ones with the big sails! You would have loved it. I know we will go back some day and take you on a cruise!" Kurt crowed, so full of enthusiasm for his time in New York City. "I know now more than ever that I want to live in the City, it felt like home."
"I'm so happy for you, Kurt. Happy for you, too, Blaine, for your recovery. Your folks have a nice place there."
They chatted all the way to Blaine's house, mostly about the things Kurt got to see and do. Burt could feel that his son was holding back something, but he couldn't tell what it was. He had a pretty good guess, however, considering they were holding hands and sending each other certain looks. Burt liked Blaine, but he wasn't too certain about the two of them getting together. Maybe it had been a mistake to let Kurt go? Burt shook his head, no – it was better for Kurt. Summers were not always the idyllic time they had been when Kurt was younger. He was sad a lot of the time, spending his days in the backyard reading in the hammock instead of hanging out with pals. When he did hang out it was with girls where Kurt looked the odd one out. Maybe finding Blaine would be a good thing? At least he could act like a boy. Not meaning a football jock, but like a gay young man not forced into being 'one of the girls'.
Burt sighed. He missed Elizabeth at times like this. What would she do?
"Its the next right turn, Mr Hummel," Blaine instructed.
"Burt. My name is Burt. When you say 'Mr Hummel' I look around for my granddad," Burt frowned. Blaine blushed.
"Burt."
Kurt hid his smile in his shoulder.
They made the turn and drove down the long, long drive to the circle in front of the mansion. Blaine got out and ran up the stairs into his mother's loving arms.
"Mama, I missed you," he said, holding her tighter.
"I missed you, too, darling. How are you feeling?" she asked.
"I'm fine, really good. I can see perfectly, I can run again. Everything is back to normal," he told her with a smile.
Margaret was immediately suspicious. Blaine was a happy child, but this enthusiasm? Something more was afoot here. She glanced up to see Mr Hummel getting Blaine's suitcases out of the back of his truck. Kurt was in the bed of the truck opening the large metal crate that held Machusla. The boy was gazing back at Blaine.
Ah, that was it. He perhaps had a small crush on Blaine? Well, it wouldn't be the first boy to like Blaine in that way. Jeff Sterling had been a close friend for years but Blaine never showed any return of affection for him – just a healthy friendship. The same for that shy boy, Trent Nixon. Even Sebastian didn't get a second look and he'd been after Blaine since they were thirteen. No, Blaine had a good head on his shoulders and wouldn't waste time on puppy love.
Macushla jumped down from the truck and came running over to greet Dr Anderson. She patted the big dog, happy to have him home, too.
"It looks like Macushla had a good time, too. How did he do in the apartment?" Dr Anderson asked.
"He was fine. Kurt took him running every morning in Central Park. I was glad when I could run with them," Blaine said, looking past his mother at the Hummel men walking towards them.
"Mr Hummel, good to see you. Welcome back to Ohio, Kurt. I trust you had a good time in New York?"
"It was wonderful, thank you so much Dr Anderson," Kurt said politely.
"I'll have a check for you in the morning. I'll need your address to mail it," she said with a kind smile.
"Its okay, Mother, I'll take it to him," Blaine grinned.
Dr Anderson looked at her son. He had a new glow about him, something intangible but definitely there. What was going on?
"Of course, Blaine," she said, then turned to Burt as he walked up, carrying Blaine's suitcases.
"Oh, Mr Hummel. Thank you so much for fetching my son from the airport. I hope it wasn't any trouble," she said, shaking his hand.
"Its Burt. No, no trouble at all. I was happy to do it. Next time I'll borrow a horse trailer for the dog, though."
Dr Anderson laughed.
"He's a beautiful dog. Blaine tells me you have others?"
"My brother breeds Irish wolfhounds and we have several. Macushla is the only one that is allowed to roam the grounds unencumbered, though," Dr Anderson gave her son a direct look. Blaine blushed. He knew his dog was a bit wild and not as well mannered as the rest of the dogs.
"It was good to see you again, Dr Anderson," Burt started to say.
"Please, call me Margaret," the doctor said and Blaine barely closed his mouth after his astonished look at his mother. She never invited someone to call her by her first name unless she'd known them for years.
"Margaret, then. I need to get my son home, I am due at my garage this afternoon. Can't leave it to the mechanics," he smiled. "First, can I help Blaine in with his luggage?"
"Oh, no. The gardener should be here in just a moment to take the crate off of your truck," she smiled. "Ah, here he is now."
"We'll take the suitcases up to my room," Blaine said and he and Kurt were gone before Dr Anderson could protest.
"I guess this is goodbye for now," Kurt said, setting the suitcase down at the end of Blaine's bed.
"I will come over tomorrow to bring you your check," Blaine offered. He knew he was going to miss having Kurt with him every day.
"Okay. Oh, about that – I don't want your mother paying me to be your friend. That's just not right, Blaine," Kurt said, looking intently at Blaine.
"Do you want to explain to her that we are more than simple friends?" Blaine asked. Kurt blushed to the roots of his hair.
"No, I guess not," he whispered. He dared a look at Blaine through his lowered eyelashes.
"But we are more. More than just friends, right?" Blaine asked, stepping closer.
"Yeah, we are," Kurt whispered, leaning over to kiss Blaine. "I'm going to miss you tonight."
"And I'll miss you," Blaine whispered back. His arms went around Kurt and he held him close. "Nothing is going to keep us apart. I promise."
They kissed once again and walked back down the long staircase, holding hands until they reached the entrance door. Blaine risked a last kiss and they dropped hands before opening the door and joining their parents in the garden.
"Goodbye, Dr Anderson, and thank you for the privilege of accompanying Blaine to New York," Kurt said, shaking her hand.
"You are quite welcome, Kurt. Please come visit with Blaine whenever you wish. Thank you again for picking my son up at the airport, Burt," she ended with a warm smile.
Blaine thanked Burt and shook his hand and it was time to go. With a wave at Blaine, Kurt walked back to his dad's truck and they were off.
"Want to tell me what's going on, Kurt?" Burt asked as they drove along the highway back to their house.
"Ah...what do you mean?" Kurt asked, looking so, so innocent.
"Kurt, how long have I known you?"
"Point taken, Dad."
"Well then?"
"I had a wonderful time in New York. I got to see all these cultural things – museums, galleries, gardens – everything I ever dreamed of, Dad. We went on a clipper ship!" Kurt enthused. He glanced over at Burt to see if this was going to be enough. Obviously it wasn't. Burt was looking like he was going into full-on protective Dad-mode. Not good.
"Kurt."
"Okay. Yes, Blaine and I got very close. I guess I have feelings for him. I know he has feelings for me – he told me so – but even if he hadn't said anything I would have known. He was so kind to me from the beginning. He was hurting and scared and lonely for his family but even though he was going through all that, he made sure I was taken care of. He took my expectations of the city into account and we did all the touristy things that he'd probably done a hundred times and he made it fun for me."
"That's good, Kurt. I can see he was well brought up by Dr Anderson. He did those things because he wanted to be a good host," Burt speculated.
"It might have been like that in the beginning, but not after the first few days. He had as much fun showing me his New York as I did seeing and experiencing it," Kurt continued. Would this be enough to satisfy his dad? Nope, apparently not if the glare Burt was giving him was any indication.
"I think I like him. Blaine. I like him a lot," Kurt confessed, his voice low and shy.
"I kind of thought that's what was going on. I saw you two holding hands," Burt told his son, a smirk on his face.
"Dad!" Kurt shrieked.
Burt laughed.
"He's a nice boy, Kurt. Its okay, I'm glad you found him," Burt said, turning onto their street and hitting the garage door opener.
Kurt blushed to the roots of his hair and was very glad to be home. His room was his sanctuary and he'd be glad to be back there among his things once again.
"Thank you, Dad," he whispered, hugging his father before he took his suitcase up to his room. Burt patted him on his back, so happy that his son was home once again.
"If My Friends Could See Me Now" is from the 1966 Broadway play Sweet Charity by Cy Coleman and Dorothy Fields.