THIRTY-FIVE
A GOOD MAN
ALPHA BLACK
The bonfire atmosphere started off tense, as to be expected. Sam showed with his family, but was not very chatty or seeking anyone's attention. After the elders made speeches lauding him for his successes and bravery, he found a spot to sit with Peter and nursed a beer, discussing whatever plans with his ally. I've made it a point thus far to block their hushed words out, focusing instead on bonding with my pack and the little ones, even Levi, who seems starved for the attention of someone other than his mother.
Although Sam is not too happy about the situation, Emily looks happy to have the distraction of the pack around, which I assume is giving her a sense of security and comfort. We all know that Sam will be difficult to handle for a while, until he makes peace with the Spirit Wolf's departure – and the fact that our ancestral chiefs made the decision to strip him of his title.
"Are you alright, Emily?" I ask, while accepting one of the ice-cream cones she's doling out to the pack.
"Yes, Jacob, thank you."
The way she looks up at me, I can tell that her gratitude is beyond the gesture of exchanging niceties.
"I hope…I hope everything will be alright…" I tell her lamely. She and I haven't really ever been close in the way that she is with other members of the pack, but I hope she knows that I'll always be here for her, that I'll never forget all the good she did for us over the years.
Emily sighs and her eyes mist over, proving that this day has been just as overwhelming for her as it was for Sam and the rest of us. She nods, seeming unable to find her voice.
"Just holler whenever you need us, me or Lee. You know?" I shrug and take a lick of the pistachio cream that's starting to melt from my body heat.
"Of course, thank you Jacob, and congratulations to you both. Truly, I'm so happy you found each other. I don't think I've ever seen Leah so happy before."
I smile and thank her, before taking my leave, settling once more in my spot between Embry, Paul and Seth.
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Quil is still upset. The way he's slouching at the side of the tool shed in the darkest spot of the backyard, slinging beer after beer, doesn't exactly hide his current state of misanthropy. It doesn't take me more than a minute of observation to read that all his anxiety is being directed at Leah and Nessie. He won't stop watching them, as they sit in a group around the fire with Emily, Sue, Kim and my sisters.
The women of my pack are sitting together for the first time ever in my life, with the children running all through the open area. It should be a good thing, a joyful sight, but it's ruined by the dark moods of Quil and Sam.
Quil bends down to reach for another beer from the six pack at his feet. He looks up just as Claire comes over and asks him why he's acting so strange.
"Give it a rest, Claire," is his answer.
"Why? What's wrong with you?" the girl insists, crossing her arms in a womanly fashion.
"Can't you see that I just want to be alone?" he hisses.
"But I want you to come play with us!"
"Not now Claire! Jesus! Just gimme a break, will you?"
My wolf doesn't like it one bit –It only reads "Threat" to the females of my pack.
Without thinking, I storm over and pull him up by the collar of his shirt.
"You and me, NOW," I growl.
"What the fuck Jake! Get off me!" Quil screams, grappling at my fingers for his freedom.
"Quil!" Claire cries out in distress. The imprint won't allow her to be angry at him for speaking to her that way, only the person she thinks is a danger to his life.
"Go to Emily, Claire," I instruct the little girl with the last shred of patience I can muster.
"Not until you tell me what you're doing to Quil!" She bites back, even stomping her foot in defiance.
"Claire! Just listen to Jake okay?" Quil urges, as he himself realizes I'm not going to let him go, not on his life.
"NO! You leave MY Quilly!" she snaps back.
Oh hell no. Sooner or later this little girl will have to learn respect.
I look up and signal to Emily, pointing to Claire. When Emily's eyes notice the situation between me and Quil, she exits the circle of women and comes running to her niece's side.
"I need to talk to Quil, please take her."
"Of course, is everything alright?" she asks, biting her bottom lip as she observes Quil's miserable state.
"He's a fucking narc, that's what," Quil spits, while his imprint asks her aunt for the meaning of the new word.
I roll my eyes and drag him away from the two females.
"Let go of me JACOB!" Quil yells, actively trying to fight me off, but my wolf has him in a vice grip.
"Not until we talk this out."
"Jacob! What are you doing!" Nessie scrambles over, with Leah hot on her heels. I can practically feel their nerves and confusion pushing against the wolf. But I'm too wired to find either the patience or the words to explain that it is all for their own good.
"Don't worry, we got this," Seth intervenes, raising his hands so that the girls won't follow as I continue to drag Quil into the woods behind Sam's house.
"Don't hurt him!" Leah cries at my back, but I will make no such promises. The Alpha isn't in the mood to listen to his mate. Frankly, neither am I.
This is between me and my fucking pest of a cousin.
As soon as we are far enough inside I release him, and as soon as I do Quil rips into his wolf and lunges. I'm quick enough to phase before he catches me, and we go rolling across the earthen floor, flattening logs, plants and likely small animals, as we tumble.
"You're such an asshole!" He snarls in my head.
Seth, Embry and Paul phase in and find us in no time. "What's going on?" they each demand.
"He was looking at Nessie and Leah," I inform them.
The confusion of the others mixed with Quil's resentment is too much at once, so with a warning growl I silence my brothers, causing them each to heel.
"Why were you looking at them that way?" I recall it in my mind to show the others exactly what kind of look I mean, and Seth is the first to spring to his feet again.
"Touch her and I'll kill you!" he growls.
It doesn't take long for Quil to realize that Seth is talking about Nessie, not his sister.
"What the fuck is going on? Are you in love with her? She's Jacob's!"
"She's no one's!" Seth growls back. "She not property, Quil! Neither is Claire! A wolf doesn't OWN his imprint!"
"I don't think that I own Claire!" Quil snaps defensively.
"Come on guys," Embry pleads, while Paul huffs in disbelief himself.
"What the fuck is going on right now exactly?" Paul asks. "Is that why you've been stuck to the hybrid-" at both my and Seth's growl of protest, he corrects himself - "I mean Nessie? You two a thing?"
"Nessie and Seth have gotten close, yes. And I am aware of it, and I have promised them to stay out of it. I only want what's best for everyone. If this makes her happy, then so be it. She has given me what I needed already: freedom to be with Leah."
"But she's like, YOUNG, I mean, she's Vampire Girl's little girl, man," Paul argues.
"Yeah, I know, Paul. THANKS." Seth growls, speaking up for himself, and I don't miss the self-deprecation in his response. "Look, I care about her okay? But we're not involved or anything. Right now we're just friends." Seth looks over at Paul and then me, intently. It is easy to read his internal conflict where Nessie is concerned.
"It's okay to care deeply for her, but it doesn't have to be intimate. You know all these reasons why I stayed away from her romantically, Seth. But I won't choose your path for you." He knows we'd all prefer them not to get any closer.
"I know, trust me, I know! And I don't want to act like I own her, or need to have her like THAT. But it's confusing how much the wolf likes having her here. I don't want to cross any lines because I'm not sure what it really is that I feel or want." Seth confides, a little panicked, definitely worried.
I'm not surprised by how much I can relate to what he's saying. "I want her here too, she's pack."
"That's fucking bullshit, the imprint doesn't lie! It finds you your soul mate! You want her here because she's supposed to be your mate!" Quil persists.
"A soulmate doesn't have to be a lover, Quil."
"Says who? You? Because you caught a whiff of Leah's pussy and somehow-"
Both Seth and I attack, shoving Quil to the ground. Paul and Embry are forced to defend Quil so that he doesn't end up with two chunks of his hide missing tonight. This fucking idiot. I am only just barely able to let Paul push me off. I could take them all without breaking a sweat, the Alpha still reads Quil as a threat, and the more he talks, the harder it gets to keep the wolf in check. Quil would easily get the beating that had been reserved specially for Sam.
Paul barks out what I am sure is meant to be a laugh while Quil curses at me.
"Your mouth is gonna get you killed," Paul warns and I second that with a growl. The Alpha in me wants nothing more than to fucking WHUP Quil's ass.
"So just tell me how you do it, then, oh Mighty One?"
"Tell you what?" I snap impatiently.
"How you could NOT want your imprint now that she's a woman?"
"Because I just don't. I helped raise her from a baby Quil, just like you do with Claire. Ness is like a sister, or a god-daughter or a niece. I love her so much, she IS part of my soul - I won't deny it, but that's all it is. I'm her protector, someone she can always call home. That's what our love is, we took some time to figure it out so that we could get on with our lives. Honestly, I was scared and I was worried that she'd rule my life for eternity, but it really doesn't have to be that way Quil. Just because you've imprinted on Claire doesn't mean that she isn't her own person, or will grow up one day to love you intimately."
"How could you even want her to, Quil?" Embry asks, refusing to hide his disgust. "I told you man, it's not healthy. She's just a child, she'll always be way too young for you. Don't think of her that way."
Quil shakes his head and lowers it, refusing to look at any of us.
Seth grimaces and looks away, thinking about Renesmee. I can barely manage these two at the same time, but Quil takes precedence because he's the one this entire conversation is supposed to be for.
"Look, Quil, you need to come clean. I thought you really wanted to talk to me about this, not fight. What's really going on with you and Claire?" I demand. I can't help but worry that he's too CLOSE to this child.
"That's just it! I don't want to be a creep Jake! But everyone says the imprint is a love-match. Everyone basically sees Claire as MY girl, it's like, it's expected of me. Just like it was expected of you!"
"But you can't cross the line!"
"I didn't! I'd NEVER HURT HER JAKE! And you know that!
"You need to just- fall back with Claire," Embry thinks quietly.
"I want to! That's my whole point!" he protests. "I'm supposed to love her all my life, and be everything she needs and wants me to be! But she's such a fucking brat! I literally don't know what to do anymore! I'm sick of always having to take care of her because she tells her parents that she only wants to be in La Push! It's not ME that's the problem!"
"What the hell?" Paul grumbles. We're all fucking shocked at this point.
"I just, I hate that you can resist yours and I can't resist mine, Jake! I feel like for the rest of our lives she'll be hunting me down, bossing my every move. She's only eleven but she acts like my god-damn wife! I never have time to myself unless I'm working or on patrol."
"But you always make it seem like you're happy!" Embry insists, "Why would you pretend! We talked about this and you told me that there was nothing wrong."
Quil shakes his wolf head, "I felt bad. I didn't want to admit that I needed a break. I didn't want to seem like I'd neglect my imprint. Look at what happened to Jake."
"So what if people don't like it Quil? If you need time away from Claire, then let Emily call her fucking mother and tell her to come pick her up!" I argue.
"You never signed up to be her nanny. That's not what a protector is," Seth adds, huffing indignantly on behalf of his pack brother.
"This is crazy, but you need to talk to Claire. Explain to her that she's being a fucking brat and tell her to stop it."
"Yeah," Embry chuckles.
"But it won't be easy on her to be separated. That could do more harm than good," Paul warns, thinking of how hard it was when he and my sister tried to be apart.
"I know, that's what I'm scared of. She needs me, I can't abandon her. I can't do something that would hurt her."
"You're not going to hurt her by letting her learn how to live without you around. I see that with Nessie every day. She grew up and became her own person, regardless of me being there. She loves me being around, but she can live without me. I count myself lucky Quil, but I dunno maybe it's all in the nurturing, how you are as an imprinter the older they get. Maybe now it's time to pull away a little and let Claire start to think for herself."
"She's still pretty young, but you already said she acts like a grown woman, so maybe you gotta see her not as a little girl, but as a pre-teen," Seth suggests.
"It's totally different," I add, remembering my sisters and Leah at eleven. They were vicious. Seth and Embry both snigger at the shared childhood memories of being bossed by the Terrible Three. They were such divas too, they called themselves the Queens of La Push.
"Fuck we've been a family for a long time," Embry's private thought is a mere whisper but it's there. I can't help the affection I feel for our childhood, and it hurts to think that we'd almost broken apart for good.
"Enough with the love fest fellas, I'm going back home to my women now," Paul paces back and forth, as if beckoning us to start running.
But Quil still sits there in doubts. I sigh and walk closer to my brother. He winces but I nuzzle his shoulder affectionately.
"I'm sorry Quil. I should have known you'd be struggling like I was. I've been there, I know what you're going through – the guilt, the need to breathe. I wish you had come talk to me." The Alpha doesn't like feeling like one of his pack is weak.
"You weren't here Jake. And then you came back and you still weren't really here."
Leah's name pops into my head and I grimace. She had been a huge distraction for sure. "I'm sorry."
"Look, it's not just that, I just didn't want the drama with everyone. And I still don't agree with leaving Claire behind."
"They don't need to know anything. Primary care of Claire goes to her parents until she is eighteen. Give it a week and see how the wolf feels. Don't go see her unless it's absolutely necessary. It gets easier, and once you reassure her that you'll always be a phone call away, she'll get used to it. She needs to learn who she is away from you, become more independent, not codependent. You're not leaving her behind Quil, you're being a man. You have a right to choose yourself over the wolf sometimes."
The others agree with me and I can visibly see the weight lift from Quil's shoulders. "She's gonna make it hard."
From Quil's thoughts it was clear that Claire was nothing like my sweet Nessie, but even Nessie had been sassy to me the older she got. He needs to learn how to adjust to her changing.
"Look, she's just being a girl. I think we can all agree on that." The other wolves telepathically agree with mirth. "But she'll be alright."
"Can't let her get away with it all the time, bro. Sometimes boys have to fight back – I mean look at Jake and Leah, he might not be with Nessie true, but Lee's still got him by the balls. Claire needs to learn that you're not her puppet," Embry adds with a nudge of Quil's back with his tail.
"HEY!" I protest, while Paul and Seth crack up. "She does not!"
"Yeah, time to buck up and grow a pair, Ateara," Paul teases. "Don't be like Jacob who was crying like a bitch to Rachel."
"Shut up Paul!" I snap.
"Okay, okay, sorry Alpha."
"Can we just be serious for a minute guys?" Quil whines melodramatically.
"We are being serious," I assure him. "Just ignore those plebians."
"I'm being serious though, for real!" Paul insists. "Visit Claire on the weekends, go to her school things, call her every night before bed. Just don't be her bitch anymore. You can do this."
Expressions of agreement chorus in our heads and I decide that it is time we return to the others. No doubt our girls are worried. Quil worries about Claire and how he treated her earlier, but she runs to him as soon as he enters her line of vision. She'd been sitting with Emily and Leah, crying. Quil picks her up in a bear hug and after a kiss to her head and an apology, offers to take her home to Emily's for bed.
"Everything's alright," I assure my mate as she rushes to me as well, Nessie hot on her heels. I pull them both into my chest and kiss the tops of their heads in a similar fashion. Nessie ducks away quickly with a deep blush spreading over her face.
"Ja-ake, don't!" she hisses in embarrassment, trying not to notice Seth as he inches slowly towards her.
Leah sniggers and hugs me around my waist. "Come on Black, give the young woman a break."
"Sorry Ness," I call sheepishly with a smile. "It's the wolf, he just needed to feel that you're both okay."
"Yeah but don't smell me in front of everyone!" Nessie hisses again, as if the wolves present still can't hear every word.
We all snigger, and that only makes it worse. Nessie buries her head in her hands, the dread of her embarrassment too much to bear.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry okay! I promise I'll do better," I call to her affectionately, while Leah pulls me away, ordering me to stop putting my foot in my mouth.
Quil's eyes meet mine as he witnesses just how things could be for him. He nods once at me in understanding, and bids everyone good night. Emily follows with Levi who is half asleep on her shoulder.
"I didn't mean to make it weird," I complain with a wolfish whine to Leah.
"Yeah well, you did, so come on," she chuckles.
Seth pulls Nessie's hands away and holds them ransom until she's forced to look up at him. It's when she smiles and finally laughs at herself, that I relax and turn away. I know she's in the right hands.
"So what happened? Is everything okay with Quil?" Leah questions, tugging at my hand for me to follow her.
"He's tired of playing daddy to Claire. He needs some time apart."
Leah gasps and looks me dead in the eyes. "Really?"
"Yeah, he's been putting on an act, making everyone think he was happy with the way she was acting and stuff. But he's miserable. She's too attached, and has an attitude."
"Yeah, I caught a glimpse of it earlier. I guess I should have known, it's in the blood isn't it?"
Leah looks genuinely worried by the thought and I can't help but laugh.
"I can only hope our daughter has just as much sass as her mother, and god help her when she imprints on some poor defenseless clown."
Leah snorts, "Our daughter will only be with someone worthy of her, someone who is her equal match. Imprint or not." She's so self-assured that I can only hope she's right.
"But seriously, when was the last time she even went to Neah Bay? My cousin can be so selfish, I'm gonna give her a piece of my mind!" Leah shakes her head and clenches her jaw. "It's not fair to have Emily and Quil raising their kid."
"I told him to let Claire go home as soon as possible. Tonight was a clear sign that he needs a break from her. He'll sort out visitation through Emily when he's ready. It's time he had his life to himself. He's a good man and he shouldn't feel guilty for wanting space for himself."
"So he's been jealous of you this whole time then," Leah surmises, resting her head against my shoulder as we lean up against the side of my sister's house.
"I dunno. I guess? He thought it was easy for me to just leave Nessie, and it was in some ways, when I finally made up in my mind that I would. But it really wasn't so simple. I just had to put myself first. I struggled too, and I feel like shit for not thinking he'd be having the same issues."
"He obviously kept it hidden from all of us."
"He doesn't like the idea of neglecting or abandoning Claire. But I think he understands now that he can find a balance. It doesn't have to be all or nothing."
"Well I'm glad that's settled."
"For now yeah, but the real test is to see how everything goes with the separation."
"I'll keep tabs on Claire, okay? Emily and I both will, you don't worry about that part. You have other things that need your attention."
I nod, feeling both relief and peace that I have Leah by my side to share the management of the pack, no matter what.
"Your brother seems to be confused where Nessie is concerned."
Leah nods. "I think she is too. I'm glad that she's decided to just stay friends for now. I guess the real test is when she leaves too."
"Hmmm," I nod. "I guess you're right. Although, I'd like them to stay friends as long as possible."
"Tell me about it," Leah groans. "Your first day of being officially the only Alpha sure has been eventful," she looks up at me with a sparkle in her onyx eyes, her nimble fingers walking up my chest.
"Yeap," I respond with a pop of my 'p,' grinning down at her. She's making that face I know all too well.
"Let's say we call it an early night? Beta needs some alone time with Her Alpha, to give him his reward for a job well done." Leah leans in and places a kiss to my neck that makes the hair on my body stand at attention.
"Yes Maam." I quickly answer, digging into my pocket for the keys. I don't need convincing at all.
AN: I'm so glad you are liking these chapters! I devour every review as soon as it comes in! Hence why i made the effort to post these up for you guys, no use letting them sit there lol. But now I have reached the chapters where I need to put in some work and finish up the book, so my next update could take a little while as I force myself to get ish done! I really want to see This through to the end properly. Don't know why some people are having issues seeing the chapters on their accounts, that really sucks. Thanks again for sticking with me! Be safe!