I had to get a stupid hotel room.
Damn, this fucking sucks.
I called Dwight and he is not answering and now I feel so alone.
I tried to call Pam, too.
Nothing.
I'm trying to think about what I really feel.
What has been the truth to all of this?
I ask myself, how much do I really like Dwight?
How much do I like Pam?
How much am I attracted to him verses her?
It turns out, I am attracted to both equally.
But, also... it also turns out I have much more tender feelings for Pam, because of our history together. And Dwight.. I really, really like him. I don't know why his deep run masculinity is so sexy to me. He is in control, and I feel so happy and well taken care of with him.
Who am I in love with?
I don't know.
But I finally got a hold of Dwight.
"Are you okay Jim?" Was the first thing he said as he answered.
"I'm fine. Are you?"
"Uh... okay. I miss you. Where are you? Angela just left my house."
"I'm so sorry. She was scary mad. She hit you, too. God. I'm sorry."
"Its okay. It's worth it to be with you. Where are you?" He asked again.
I told him where my hotel was and the room number.
"I'm coming over." He said immediately.
"I need you." I said softly.
He sighed with a whimper. "I need you too."
"What are we going to do?"
Dwight grumbled. "Well... I have no clue."
"God... this is shit."
"When I get there, I will make it all better; baby."
I sighed contentedly. "Wh-what do you want to do?"
"I'll kiss you everywhere... lick you... touch you... and give you the best damn massage you ever had. You'll lose your voice after I'm done... I promise..."
I moaned involuntarily at his speech.
"Are you touching yourself?" He asked.
"No."
"Okay... you better not. I'll know. You won't, will you?"
"No, I won't. Hurry up."
"Don't tell me what to do. I'll get there when I'm good and ready..."
I sighed, biting my finger.
"Just be good for me. And I'll make it good for you..."
"Please..." I murmured.
"Please... what?" He said darkly.
"Can I touch myself?"
He made a affirmative noise. "Maybe... if I can hear it... for just a few moments.. "
I started to, and I moaned loudly into the phone.
"Okay... stop. You're naughty, huh?"
"Where are you?" I said breathily, not touching myself anymore.
"I'm almost there. Okay... babe; I'll be there in two minutes."
"Good."
I heard a knock and answered it.
He came in and held me tight.
His look was sad, somber; I wanted to make him feel better but instead, we just fell asleep.
He smelled of tears and sleep.
There was nothing to say. Nothing to do.
It felt doomed in our embrace, but in my heart; it felt warm, perfect.
There wasn't anything I could do to save us.