Chapter 17

After the girls had been saved, they made their way back to the Capital where Zuko said goodbye and gave them a ship to use to get back to the Republic City. Toph and Zuko didn't say anything to each other the entire trip back to the Capital, and when he walked them to the pier he only handed her a folded piece of paper. Sokka and Zuko shared a look before they boarded the ship to leave. Once on the ship Toph went to her room to read the note, leaving Sokka and the girls on the deck waving to the firelord.

Toph,

It was good to see you again. (That part was scratched through.)

I miss you, more and more each day. Seeing you has reminded me of what we had. I'm glad you moved on and that you are doing what you love, protecting people. Lin has grown into a beautiful young girl. I couldn't be prouder. Please tell her that. I hope that your life continues to be good, and I hope you enjoy raising the girls as much as I have enjoyed raising Izumi. I know our lives are not exactly where we want them, but that doesn't cancel out the good. I will always love you Toph, and if you ever need anything, if Lin or Suyin ever need anything, please do not hesitate to ask. I will always be there for you.

All my heart,

Zuko.

A single tear escaped her eye as she read. She still loved him, and she could tell this was his goodbye letter. They were meant to be together. That is what they had decided in Ba Sing Se all those years ago. Now she truly had to move on without him. She decided then and there that her life would be good. She would raise the girls the best she could and help protect Republic City. She would do everything in her power to make the world a better place, if not for herself then for her girls. The rest of the trip she spent her time with her daughters, and after they docked she pulled Lin aside. She would fulfill his request. She knew she had to, for Lin.

"What is it, Mom?"

"I got a letter from your father yesterday. He wanted me to tell you that he loves you and is very proud of all you have become," Toph said. Lin didn't reply but a tear fell onto her cheek. Her father cared, and it meant the world to her. Toph hugged her daughter noticing one more similarity between Lin and her father-neither willingly showed pain.

…..

It was another six months before anything happened, and it almost broke Toph's heart when she found out what had. The news came in the form of a letter at the station. It was from the Fire Nation. She had ignored it for a few hours knowing that anything from there would be bad news as Zuko had already said his goodbye. She wished she never had to open it and that it would disappear, but at the end of the day she could still sense the mud based ink on the page. So after doing everything else that she had to do, she steeled her nerves and opened the letter.

Ms. Beifong,

We regret to inform you of the death of our beloved General Iroh. He passed away in his sleep two days ago. The funeral will be held at the Fire Nation Capital in one week.

Sincerely,

Fire Lord Zuko

P.S. Toph, I know it might be awkward between us, but please do not refuse to come for that reason. Iroh loved you like his own. You deserve to be able to come.

-Zuko

The letter ended with Zuko's note, and Toph was forced to re read the letter over and over as she refused to believe it. He couldn't be gone. She had been planning a trip for the girls to meet him. He was all she had left, besides Lin, of the life she had lived. Toph held back the tears as she left the station to go pack for her and the girls so that they could leave in time to make it to the funeral. She knew that it would be hard to see Zuko, but she refused to miss it. She refused to not show up for the man she had met on the dirt road who had shared a cup of tea with her. He had told her that there was nothing wrong with letting the people who love you help you. If only she had been able to help him. They boarded a ship by sunset, and once the girls were asleep Toph opened the letter again. She couldn't believe that he was gone. She knew that Zuko would be broken even more than she was. She so wished she could comfort him, that she could be there for him when he let his guard down, but she knew she couldn't. She wasn't his wife anymore, Mai was. As much as it hurt to say, she couldn't be that person for him anymore. As the night wore on Toph still stared at the words on the note: We regret to inform you of the death of our beloved General Iroh. The words made the tears she had been holding for years finally fall. They never got to tell him about them, about Lin, about their happiness. They had planned to, but they never did. How could they have done that to him?

"Mom? Are you ok?" It was Lin. Like her father, she always seemed to know when something was wrong. Toph forced a smile onto her face as she looked at her daughter, only the darkness hiding the tears.

"Yes, I am fine, Lin. I was just thinking."

"What about?"

"About the man who died. He was a good friend of mine, and his nephew and I were also really close. I miss him."

"Mom, why did you never mention them?"

"Because I hadn't seen either of them since you were just a baby. I hadn't seen the uncle since before then."

"Well, I'm sure they both know you care," Lin said cuddling up next to her mother. Those words hurt more than anything. She had never told Iroh how much he meant to her. Before long Lin was asleep again, and it didn't take long before Toph joined her.

…..

The two day trip to the Capital was relatively calm. It was the walk to the castle that made Toph's heart beat just a hair quicker. She had hoped years ago after their return from Ba Sing Se that one day she would be climbing this hill with Iroh beside her, with him knowing everything. They were met at the gate by Zuko, Mai, and Izumi. They were the perfect family picture. Aang and Katara had left the day before her with their kids, and Sokka had said he would follow the day after. During the greeting Suyin saw Bumi and Kya and immediately ran off.

"Suyin!" Toph yelled after her, failing to get her attention. She knew it was tradition for the entire family to greet the Fire Lord.

"Don't worry, Toph. It is fine," Zuko stated calmly. Mai glanced between the two. She had known that they were close, but today it seemed as if it hurt them to see each other. She had asked Zuko about Toph after the last time they had seen each other, but all he had told her was that they had been close.

"I'm sorry about your uncle, Lord Zuko," Lin spoke up calmly, showing off every bit of her similarities to her father. She was the perfect diplomat. Her words were pronounced almost perfectly until she tried to say her father's name which sounded a little more like Suko.

"Thank you, Lin," Zuko replied with a gleam in his eye. That's when Mai realized the truth. Lin was his. She knew she would say nothing as it would break Zuko if he knew she had figured it out. When Mai looked back at Lin though, it was almost impossible to not see the similarities. She was exactly like him in every way. Even the way she held herself was like him.

"I'm sorry as well, Sparky. I hate that he is gone," Toph said, placing a hand on Lin's shoulder.

"Me, too, Toph. Me too." Toph could tell he was broken, both spirit and mind. She knew how special Iroh was to him, and she knew how close she had been to breaking at the news. Zuko had clearly not been able to avoid it. Mai could tell that they shared the grief. She knew they needed a moment alone and that the only way they would take one was if she told them to.

"Why don't I take Lin and Suyin with me and the other kids to play a game, and you two can go on a walk and catch up," Mai said, holding her hand out towards Lin.

"Are you sure?" Zuko whispered. He knew the rules of the court and that without her permission he couldn't be alone with another woman.

"Yes," she said, before leading Izumi and Lin away towards the other kids. Mai knew that they still held love for each other, but clearly they had made a choice a long time ago that Zuko would marry her instead of Toph.

"Zuko?"

"Yes, Toph?"

"I can tell you're breaking. How are you?"

"I'm exactly how you see me, breaking slowly. First, I lose you and Lin, now I lose him. I can't take much more. I've got an entire nation and a family that both depend on me and my focus, and I can't get my heart to focus on either of them. Every spare moment it longs for you, and when it's not longing for you, it's hurting at the loss of him," Zuko said, fighting tears. His heart had never healed after Toph left, and years ago he would have said it was impossible for it to break any more. Iroh's death had proved him wrong, though.

"Zuko, like you said in the letter, the bad, the hurt, the loss, none of it cancels out the good. Look around you, Zuko. You have a family who loves you and looks up to you, a nation that supports you, friends who will drop everything at the drop of a hat for you."

"But I don't have you, or Lin."

"But you have so much Zuko, even without Lin or me."

"I don't want any of this though. I want you, I want Lin. I lost Iroh, I can't lose you and Lin too. Not anymore." Zuko was losing sight of his duty. He wanted his happiness back. He wanted his family back. He didn't want to watch his family's lives from afar.

"Zuko, you're married. You have a daughter and an entire nation that depend on you. I refuse to let you throw this away for me. I won't allow it. That's why I left in the first place. I knew that this is what you would say. I can't let you make that choice, though, Zuko. I refuse to let you. If you don't stop thinking that way, Lin, Suyin, and I will leave now and miss the funeral," Toph insisted. This was the reason she had left. It was the reason she had put herself through that pain.

"No, stay. You deserve to be here. He was close to you, too. I will do my best to continue acting the part, but I cannot promise that my heart will follow."

"I don't expect your heart to follow. Mine never will, but we have to try. We have to give it our all for Mai, for Izumi, and for the Fire Nation," Toph said, hanging her head and walking away to go find her daughters. Toph stayed for the funeral but left right after. Her heart could no longer take being home without being able to stay. As she left her heart stayed behind. The moon refused to rise as if Yue had felt the pain that floated in the air around Toph. Little did she know that Zuko was staring out of the window in his room at the ocean thinking the exact same thing as she was. Once again his heart was leaving him.

"Uncle, I needed you to be able to lose her. Now you are both gone. How am I ever supposed to survive this?" he whispered into the air, wishing beyond anything that his uncle would answer.