A/N—Back to the regular-sized chapters again. The next one will pick up where this one leaves off. Not much to say here except I hope everyone is healthy and stays that way through the holidays. :)

He and Logan needed to have a conversation, and Kendall thought the drive home was as good a time as any. Was Logan sitting at home right now daydreaming about this James guy? Wishing they could be more than co-workers? How to even bring that up without setting Logan off?

Well, he had a perfect excuse to call Logan, so there was that. He sent a call through, hoping his friend wasn't already in bed; Kendall had learned over the years that Logan was cranky when he first woke up.

"Did Carlos call you?"

That wasn't the greeting Kendall expected. Hesitantly, he said, "Yes."

"I don't want to hear it."

Pieces fell into place. "Wait a second. Is this your doing? Did you say something to Carlos about our discussion? Is that why he wanted to make it official?"

"He made it official?"

"Yes! What are you talking about?"

"I assumed he called to tell you about James."

There was a perfect opening. "Well, actually, since you brought that up, let's—"

"No. I just said I don't want to hear it. I'm not discussing James with you."

"Look, I think I get it now. How long have you wanted him, Logan?"

"Kendall, it's not what you think. We really are just co-workers."

"Carlos said you held his hand."

"Of course he did. I knew he'd turn that into something. It was just me consoling a co-worker, okay? I don't know why you both have decided that James is more than that to me, but he's not."

"So then why were you really there at Fuego? Carlos said you knew James would be there."

"I...it wasn't the reason you're thinking."

"Then what reason was it?"

"Kendall, let it go! Just stop pushing me toward James, okay? It's never going to happen."

"But do you want it to?"

"No! I have no romantic interest in James at all! I have no interest in anyone! Why can't you just accept that?"

"Because you deserve to be happy, Logan. I fought you for so long about dating someone, and look at me now. I'm happy. I was wrong all those years. But I also think it was worth the wait, because the timing wasn't right then. Carlos was with his ex for a long time. Now he's free and so am I, so...my point is that you were right. I didn't know what I was missing. And I don't think you do, either."

"Kendall. I'm begging you. Please. Can we stop talking about me and my love life? It's the last thing I need right now. Things are stressful at work and I'm struggling with my project and I just need a win, okay? I need for this to work."

Kendall heard the pleading in Logan's voice. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overwhelm you. Did the project fail again?"

"It's still in process. There's been some success, but it could fall apart in a second and I hate that no matter what I do, that bad thing always happens."

"I thought you decided to let it happen and find a way to incorporate that."

"I did, but the pacing has to be right. I'm not ready for the bad thing to happen. It's too soon, things aren't in place yet. And each day that goes by is another chance for it to happen and I just...I'm tired. I'm so tired."

Kendall had never heard Logan so dejected. "Can you ask to be taken off the project? Maybe they can put someone else in charge?"

"No, Kendall. It's my project. Nobody else can do this one."

"I'm sorry. Can I help in any way?"

"Yes, actually. You can back off about James. Forget about him. Just...let it go."

"Okay. I'll tell Carlos to drop it, too."

"Thank you."

"We just want you to be happy, you know? I swear, we're not trying to be annoying."

"I know, Kendall. And I do appreciate it. But forcing me to date some guy I'm not even interested in isn't going to make me happy."

"All right. Mom says to follow your gut, and that's what I do. That's how I knew Carlos was the right guy."

"So...he's the one?"

"I don't know, I guess that remains to be seen. But so far, he's on track to become that."

"I really am happy for you. He wants the same thing you do? To be exclusive?"

"Yep. We made it official tonight. He didn't say anything to you at the restaurant about it?"

"Not really, we just talked about James. He was actually kind of cute about the whole thing."

"Cute? How?"

"Because James was rude to me and Carlos overheard, and he tried to come to my rescue. I guess he considers me a friend."

"Really? That's awesome, Logan."

"It's weird. I'm not used to people other than you and your family caring about me."

"Carlos is just that kind of guy, you know? He cares."

"Yeah. You picked a good one, Kendall."

"Damn right I did. Okay, I'm almost home so I'll let you get back to sleep."

"I wasn't asleep."

"I just assumed, since you were cranky when you answered the phone."

"That's because I thought you were calling to pressure me about James. Please, Kendall. Don't mention him again."

"Fine. But if we find out you're having dinner with him again, you can't expect us to—"

"I wasn't having dinner with him!"

"Carlos said you sat down at his booth."

"So that means I want to jump his bones? I was being polite!"

"Okay, fine. Dropping it now. Oh, but one more thing. Carlos also said he's really hot. Are you sure you don't want to—"

"Kendall, no! I don't want to! Back the fuck off!"

"Okay! Goodnight!"

Logan's answer was a growl. Kendall cut it off by disconnecting the call while shaking his head. Carlos had a point—Logan wouldn't get so worked up if there wasn't something more that he was hiding.

But he'd promised Logan he would let it go. For the sake of their friendship, he had no choice.

He had to forget about James.

Logan peeked into the bedroom to find James passed out in slumber. He hated to wake him, as it had taken over an hour to calm James down enough to sleep, but the cupcakes had done their job and caused a sugar crash.

Now Logan approached the bed and settled on the edge of it. He brushed James' hair away from his forehead and said softly, "James. Hey. Wake up."

James grunted. His eyes were still puffy from the earlier breakdown.

"We need to talk. Kendall called a while ago."

James' eyes flew open. They were bleary and shot with red, but he was alert. "He did?"

"Yes."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, he's um...he and Carlos are doing well. They've decided to commit to each other. Officially."

James let his eyes shut as a shaky breath left him. "Great." He sounded dead. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

"No, because I had an idea. I think I know a way to make sure Kendall doesn't fall for you again, even if you two do meet."

"I thought that's what Carlos was for."

"Call this insurance, then. Come on, let's go talk in the kitchen. I put on coffee."

"I don't want to think anymore, Logan. I just want to sleep."

"I promise this won't take long. Just give me ten minutes."

James sat up heavily. "Let me just..."

"Sure. Take your time. I'll meet you out there."

Logan waited until James had risen from the bed just in case. He heard the bathroom door close, then he went to pour out two cups of coffee. He snatched a few pieces of chocolate from James' stash, as well.

James would need it for this discussion.

James had combed his hair and washed his face. Logan knew it helped him to feel more composed and in control when he looked good. He got a few sips of coffee down and said, "Hit me."

"Okay, so our problem up to now has always been that we don't know where or when you'll run into Kendall. And when it happens, we're not ready for it and you panic and...well, you know the rest."

"Right. But now it doesn't matter, because he's with Carlos. And he won't cheat on Carlos, especially if they're in an actual relationship."

"True, but that might not keep him from wanting you."

James shook his head. "He still wouldn't do it. Not if he's devoted to Carlos. He'll just stay with him because he can't bear to hurt him."

"Yes, but what if he can get Carlos to be the one to break it off?"

"What? Kendall would never do that. It's not his style. It's something I would do."

"He might if—" The comment gave Logan pause. "Hang on a second. Did you do that with Kendall? You mentioned there was a rough patch right before you came clean about everything."

James hid his face behind a huge coffee mug.

"You did."

"I panicked," James admitted as he set it down. "It got to the point where I was visiting him every chance I got, I practically lived there when I wasn't working. And it was dangerous. But I couldn't break his heart, so I..."

"You picked fights. Thought you could make him hate you."

"At the time, I didn't know what else to do. I just knew it was a bad idea to keep seeing him, because I couldn't seem to stop. So I had to make him make it stop."

Logan pursed his lips. "Did you two ever like...discuss your relationship? The way he and Carlos did? When did it become more than sleepovers and random hookups?"

"Officially, when I told him the truth about my job. We'd been fighting a lot and he didn't understand why, he just knew something was making me act like a dick. Up until then, it was just...I'd show up when I could. It's funny, every time I left his apartment, I'd swear to myself I wouldn't go back."

"But you always did."

"I couldn't stay away. He never made any demands, never expected anything concrete from me. He said once that he wouldn't pressure me to talk about the job, since I'd told him I couldn't. And he said he didn't expect I'd be there all the time. But I was welcome whenever I needed him, no matter what time of day or night. Being with him became like...escape, I guess. Home. Comfort. And I tried so hard to not want that, to fight my own feelings, to turn it into something that wasn't special. It was, though. Every second with him was special." James cleared his throat and looked away, blinking against tears. "The night we finally had it out I was so relieved, because I could stop fighting myself. I could walk away because he asked me to."

"Did he?"

"No." James continued to speak in wonder. "He just kept saying things like...I'm here for you. Talk to me. Whatever's going on, you can tell me. You're not alone. I love you."

Logan's heart melted in spite of the situation. "Was that the first night he said it?"

"No. I think he said it the third night we were together. It scared the fuck out of me. He told me he knew I wasn't in love and might not ever be, but it was important that I know he loved me. And he never stopped saying it."

"When did you finally say it?"

"That night. We um...we were fighting, or...I was fighting. He kept asking me why I was being so mean. He said he knew it wasn't the real me and didn't understand. Begged me to share my burden with him so he could help me through whatever it was. I told him I couldn't and it would be best if we just went our separate ways. He was devastated, Logan. I said I was sorry but it had to be that way. And I left."

"Wow. He never told me any of this."

"He didn't meet you until after. It wasn't until I knew we were going to last that I told you about him, remember?"

Logan shook his head at the insanity of where they'd ended up. "What made you go back? Did he call you?"

"No. I actually threw away that phone on the way out. I'd bought a burner phone just for him to contact me, about two weeks after we met. I tossed it into the compactor."

"Oh my god, James. It wasn't him. It was you. You made the decision to stay with him."

Ashamed, James hung his head. "I got all the way down to my car and started it. And then it hit me—I was never going to see him again. I'd been so focused on getting rid of him, of doing what was best for him, that I hadn't realized how it would affect me. I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave him. I ran back up there and pounded on his door and he was crying, I'd made him fucking cry, and...I guess it took that for me to understand that I loved him. It took losing him, even for two minutes, for me get it. I couldn't live without him."

Logan had a much better understanding now of why this was so hard on James. He'd tried to give Kendall up once and couldn't. Four more years had passed between then and his decision to make Kendall forget him—four years of memories and devotion and love. "I'm sorry you had to do this. Do you regret it?"

"Sometimes. When I'm feeling particularly selfish, I wish I could take it back. I can't, though." He looked up at Logan. "Right?"

"Right," Logan confirmed softly. "There's no way to reverse it."

James nodded. "I'm glad for that, actually. Because I would've begged you ten thousand times by now to undo it. Mostly, I don't regret it. It worked. There haven't been any attempts on his life, and he's happier with Carlos, who can give him all those things I couldn't. It was a success." He reached for a piece of chocolate and popped it into his mouth.

"Good. Then we're in agreement that we want them to stay together?"

"Don't word it like that, Logan. We're in agreement that they have to stay together. What's your plan to keep Kendall from breaking up with Carlos?"

Logan pushed aside his coffee mug and leaned forward over the table. "So. I was saying that in the past you guys met up randomly."

"Okay. And?"

"Let's take control of that. Make it happen on our terms. Something Kendall said made me realize that's part of our mistake. We're not controlling the experiment, we're leaving things to chance."

"I'm an experiment to you?"

"No, sorry, that's just how I've been describing it to Kendall. He doesn't know what's going on, just that I'm working on a project that keeps failing. An experiment. It was him who actually gave me the idea to change the circumstances and get him attached to someone."

James tilted his head at Logan. "So he's giving you ideas about how to handle...him?"

"Basically, yes. So here's what I was thinking. Sure, he and Carlos are happy together. Give them a month and he'll be thinking marriage. Because that's what Kendall does."

James' lower lip puffed out. "Don't remind me."

"And that's probably enough to keep him from going after you when you two do eventually cross paths. But let's add another layer to that and make you unattainable. You have a boyfriend."

"We've already tried that, Logan. It didn't matter."

"That's only because you messed up and told him it was over."

"What about when he saw me with my target that night? He knew I was there with a girl and still tried to make a move."

"Right, but those were random people. He didn't know them."

"What are you talking about?"

"Look, we don't think he'd hurt Carlos. But we can both see him manipulating things so that Carlos initiates a break-up."

"I never agreed with that. I still don't think he'd do it."

"You haven't seen him when he talks about you. I'm telling you, James, you make him more aggressive. If he wants you badly enough, he'll find a way. Unless, of course, he has to hurt me to do it. That would stop him."

"Hurt you? What the fuck are you...will you just spit it out?"

"I'm saying that we should pretend to date. He and Carlos are convinced that I'm in love with you, right? It's worse after tonight at Fuego. I've been fighting them, wanting them to stop thinking about you at all, but it hit me tonight that we can use that. He said it once, months ago, that if I wanted you, he'd understand. I think that's the key here. There's no way in hell he would go for you if he thought I was in love with you. It's perfect, James. We can control the situation by setting up the meeting and letting it happen on our terms. He meets you as the guy I'm into and that makes you one hundred percent off limits. We get past that initial meeting, you become my guy in his mind, and that's as far as it goes. No desire to date you."

James thought the suggestion over for a long time, trying to see how it could go wrong. "How?" he finally asked. "How do we do this?"

"Use Carlos' idea. Set up a group date."

"Oh, hell no. I already told you, I'm not going to watch them together. Fuck that, Logan."

"James, it's the only way!"

"Why can't you set up a meeting with just the three of us?"

"Because Carlos is the important part of this. He needs to be there."

"Why?"

"To keep both of you in line. Kendall needs his presence as a reminder that they're together. And honestly, so do you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I don't trust you to control yourself around Kendall. But you have class, and you wouldn't do anything in front of his boyfriend. Carlos is that invisible wall between you two. And so am I, at least in his mind. It's all about controlling the situation."

James was fuming. "Don't make me do this, Logan. Don't force me to sit through that."

"Look, we have time. I say we wait until their waiting period is over."

"What waiting period?"

"Oh, they agreed to not have sex for the first month. Some sort of trial thing so they can be sure it's not about sex.'"

James barked out a laugh. "Are you joking? Kendall agreed to no sex?"

"He wants this to last."

"Okay, but Kendall can't go three hours without sex. At least not when I'm around."

"Well, you two had a different relationship. And I'm sure that once he and Carlos get to that point, it'll be the same."

James didn't want to hear that. His expression fell. Logan tried to derail the depression that was returning. "So, are we doing this? We can use the next month for me to plant comments here and there, hints that I do actually want you. Kendall and Carlos will encourage me to try, and eventually I'll 'go along' with it and ask you out. By the time we all meet up together, I'll be dating you and that will keep Kendall from falling for you. It's going to work, James. I'm positive this time." There was no response. "James? Say something."

"Will I have to kiss you?"

Logan's mouth dropped open. "Seriously? That's what you're worried about here?"

"Well, it would be weird!"

"I know, but...we don't have to kiss. They know I'm shy. If they call me on it, I'll just say I don't like kissing in public. They'll buy it. But we will have to hold hands and hug each other, that sort of thing. Maybe cuddle." James still didn't seem convinced. "Do I need to remind you that you have sex with strangers almost every time you go on a mission? Why is kissing me so hard?"

"Because it's you, Logan. You're my best friend. Are you saying it wouldn't be weird to you?"

"No, it would definitely be...yeah, weird. But we'll get around that, okay? Any other objections?"

"I don't know if I can do it. I'm telling you right now, I don't know if I can handle seeing Kendall kiss someone else. Or even flirt with him. I know I have to let him go, but in my heart he'll always be mine."

"James...how many years did he have to share you with the world? Did he know you were sleeping around?"

James swallowed hard. "We never actually discussed that."

"He knew, though. Didn't he?"

"He's not stupid. There's a reason we never stopped using condoms. The fact that he never questioned it...yeah. He knew."

"But he put up with it. For five years. Now it's your turn."

"He never had to see it, Logan. And he knew my heart belonged to him. That's why he asked me to marry him. He said that the night he proposed. 'I know there's a part of your life you can't share with me, but as long as your heart belongs to me, that's good enough. I want to belong to you.' What he never understood is that he always did. No matter where I was or who I was with, he was in my heart. And that's the difference here." James' voice cracked. "I'm not in his anymore. Having to see that with my own eyes...Logan, I can't do it."

"You'll have a month to build up to it, okay? I'll be right next to you. Holding your hand. Reminding you why you're not in his heart. Reminding you that it's the only way to keep him safe. Let him be safe, James. Let him have those things you couldn't give him."

James nodded through the tears that had appeared yet again. Logan stood up and held out a hand. "Come on. Let's go practice that cuddling now."

James followed without argument, and Logan held him until he'd cried himself to sleep.

Over the next two weeks, Kendall and Carlos managed a handful of successful dates that usually ended with them making out in one car or the other; even on the dates where they rode together, neither invited the other inside because they didn't trust themselves to keep to the agreement. Kendall had to admit that the forced waiting ramped up his anticipation to a fever pitch, and he knew that when they finally made it to bed together, it would be explosive.

He did send his family a picture of Carlos. Both approved, at least once Katie started speaking to Kendall again. They had a long, heartfelt discussion about Stephan where Kendall apologized and Katie admitted to her own misgivings she hadn't wanted to acknowledge. She continued to see Stephan (long distance, of course), but with new eyes. Jennifer and Kendall both knew it was only a matter of time before they fell apart, and that when it did, Katie would survive.

Jennifer had much higher hopes for Kendall's relationship, and begged Kendall to bring Carlos around for dinner as soon as possible. He and Carlos discussed the family situation and set up dinner with Carlos' parents on a Friday night; the Knight family dinner would fall the next evening. Both were nervous about the upcoming introductions, but Kendall found that he had no reason to worry—by the time he left the Garcia home, Mr. Garcia was already calling him "son" and inviting him along to family events and outings. Mrs. Garcia pressed leftovers on him and insisted they exchange phone numbers so she could text him recipes for the dishes he'd particularly enjoyed. Carlos watched all of this with a smile on his face and told Kendall once they'd left that "My parents were never that nice to Dan. You are so in."

"Really? They didn't like him?"

"They were polite, and they put up with him. Tried to make him feel welcome. But with you, they're not trying; it's real. They love you, Kendall!"

It helped, knowing that. Kendall hadn't had any misgivings about Carlos since they'd become official, but this cemented what he already knew—he and Carlos were going to be together for a long time.

Now Carlos just had to pass the Katie test. Jennifer was so excited about Kendall having a boyfriend that she would be easy to please. Katie, on the other hand...

Well, Kendall would just have to hope they hit it off. If not, he'd surely hear all the reasons why.

Though Kendall told Carlos to dress casually, he smiled when Carlos came out of his apartment wearing khakis and a sweater. "Are you trying to make me look bad?" he teased after greeting Carlos with a kiss.

"Dude, I want to make a good impression! I'm so nervous!"

"Don't be. You're beautiful."

That comment left Carlos giddy for most of the drive to the Knight home, at least until he realized he'd left behind flowers he'd intended to give Mrs. Knight. He panicked. "We have to go back!"

"No way, we're almost there and Mom hates it when people are late. She says it's inconsiderate. I'm sorry, Carlos, but it's worse to go back than to arrive without flowers. She isn't expecting those."

"But still! Aww man, I'm already starting out bad!"

"Carlos, relax," Kendall chuckled. He squeezed Carlos' thigh. "It'll be fine. Mom's really excited to meet you."

"What about Katie?"

"She'll hold her judgment until after dinner. But don't worry about it, there's nothing about you to not like. She'll see that."

"I hope so."

Kendall slowed the car to a stop in front of the house. He frowned and said, "Logan's here. Why is Logan here?"

"Logan?" Carlos looked around, seeing no one. "Where is he?"

"Probably inside. That's his car in the driveway. Did you know he was coming?"

"No, we haven't talked since you guys came in for dinner last week. You didn't invite him?"

"I did not. But I'm sure it was my mother who did. She loves him." Kendall sighed and opened his door to step out.

Carlos did the same. "You know, that actually makes me feel better, having him here. It takes the focus off me since I'm not the only guest. Plus, he likes me, so he'll make me look good."

"Are you sure about that?" Kendall smirked. He came around the hood to grab Carlos' hand. "He says you drive him nuts half the time."

"Yeah, but that's because I hug him and tease him about James. I've been good about that, though, since you told me to back off."

Kendall led Carlos up the front walk. "You know what's weird about that? Logan has mentioned James to me twice over the past week. He brought him up."

"Really? What did he say?"

"Just little things. He said one day that he ran into James in the cafeteria at work. They talked for a few minutes."

"And?"

"That was it. Another time he said James had to pick something up from the lab and he brought Logan a donut."

"He did? Can we read anything into that, or...?"

"I don't know, I was afraid to. Last time, Logan screamed at me. But in the five years I've known Logan, he never mentioned James on his own. It wasn't until recently that I even knew the guy existed. I think it means something, even if it's just that James is on his mind more."

"I'm definitely reading into that," Carlos grinned. He halted at the front door, face paling. "Kendall...do we have to do this?"

"We do, and it's going to be great. Come on, Logan's in there. He'll be on your side."

That helped enough to get Carlos through the front door.