Sedgestar and Grovepelt padded into camp in the late afternoon. At the sound of them pushing through the thorn barrier, Frostmask stirred, straightening from where she had been crouched between Pineshade and Poolcloud near the entrance to the warriors' den. Despite the chilly air, her recent meal and the warm press of their pelts on either side of her had lured her to a half-sleep state, but she easily shook off her drowsiness as she fixed her gaze on their leader and deputy. Poolcloud's ears pricked, and his gaze lifted up off his half-eaten mouse to flick over to them.
"Did they have another meeting with Morningstar?" he asked.
"Yep," Pineshade responded, running her paw across her whiskers as she groomed her face.
"I didn't even notice them leave," Poolcloud said, his brow furrowing.
"Well, it is the third one in just a quarter moon," Pineshade said, her amber eyes narrowing slightly. "Not exactly a novelty at this point."
"You think they've made any progress with ThunderClan this time?" Frostmask asked, stifling a yawn.
The three of them tracked Sedgestar and Grovepelt across the camp with their gazes, watching as their leader's and deputy's tails disappeared into Sedgestar's den.
"No clan meeting. So probably not," Pineshade mewed.
Poolcloud kneaded his claws into the ground anxiously.
"I don't understand why they've been talking so much with Morningstar," he said. "It can't be that complicated, right? ThunderClan was attacked. We were attacked. Our interests should be aligned."
Pineshade's ears angled back and her brow furrowed.
"I don't like how secretive Sedgestar's being about their meetings, either," she said. "Not letting the clan know what progress is happening or what plans are being made has been setting cats on edge."
Frostmask cast a look at Pineshade out of the corner of her eye. Concern marked her features, and her amber gaze was flicking around camp as if she was searching for a specific pelt.
Frostmask knew that by 'cats,' Pineshade really meant Dampfang. It was no secret that he was still impatient to strike back against SkyClan and RiverClan. Although in this case, Frostmask couldn't help but be sympathetic towards his annoyance. She wasn't happy Sedgestar was leaving the clan in the dark either.
The fur down Frostmask's back prickled as a sudden thought struck her.
Is it me? Because he doesn't trust me; am I the reason that he's not talking about it with the whole camp?
Poolcloud's voice pulled her back to the moment.
"Maybe it's good that we're holding off on an attack for a bit longer. Thornheart's fought off his infection, but other cats are still sick with white-cough," he said, shifting uneasily. "I know that Clearstream and Elmclaw got more herbs from ThunderClan territory, but there's still no catmint. ThunderClan had a poor harvest of it during green-leaf and didn't have any to share."
Poolcloud shot a glance towards the dark entrance to the medicine cats' den in the cleft of Clanrock, his tail twitching.
Frostmask's ears twisted back. She knew that Fogfur, Poolcloud's old mentor, was one of the cats in that den. Poolcloud must be worried sick about him.
"Have you heard anything about more green-cough appearing?" Frostmask asked him softly.
Poolcloud shook his head.
"No. But, Elmclaw told me that if a cat has white-cough, there's a chance that it can turn to green-cough at any time," he said. "And, the chances increase the longer a cat stays sick."
A dark shadow passed over Poolcloud's face. Frostmask's pelt prickled as the image of Buzzardpaw's frail corpse during his vigil appeared in her mind. She dearly hoped none of her clan-mates would suffer the same fate.
"Have you visited Fogfur recently? How's he doing?" Frostmask said, gently steering the conversation towards what she knew Poolcloud was already thinking about.
Poolcloud sighed.
"He's hanging in there. And, in good spirits. You know how stubborn he is; he's not going to let a little bit of white-cough get him down." A flicker of fond amusement softened Poolcloud's worried features for a moment before his brow furrowed again. "But, I can tell he's been losing weight. It's getting close to a entire moon since he first got sick…"
"Fogfur is a strong cat," Pineshade said firmly. "If anyone can fight it off, he can."
Poolcloud sighed again.
"I hope so. But, I don't think this sickness is exactly something cats can chase off like a fox," he said, lowering his chin to his paws.
Poolcloud gazed at the half-eaten mouse in front of his muzzle, his amber eyes round with despondence. Then he looked away from it as if he couldn't stomach the thought of eating more, even though prey was scarce right now and each bite of food precious.
Frostmask's belly clenched in anxiety for him, and the scar left on her heart from Swoopstrike's death ached.
I hope Poolcloud doesn't have to feel that same pain.
Frostmask pressed her side closer to Poolcloud's and turned her head to rasp her tongue down his shoulder, grooming his thick fur soothingly. Poolcloud rumbled a brief purr of gratitude in response to her efforts, but the worry didn't fade from his eyes. Instead, he stirred and straightened. He nodded down at the half of the mouse.
"I'm going to take this to Fogfur," he said. "He needs it more than I do."
"Alright," Pineshade meowed, looking at Poolcloud with the same worry in her eyes that Frostmask felt for him. "Sun-high's basically over anyway. I should go get Cricketpaw for more training."
"And, I should find Lizardpaw," Frostmask added.
Poolcloud nodded, bending his head to pick up the prey.
"I'll see you guys later then," he mumbled around the food before turning and heading to the medicine cats' den.
As Frostmask and Pineshade walked over to the apprentices' den side by side, Frostmask fur prickled as she felt another pair of eyes on them. Frostmask glanced around camp, quickly finding Redclaw with Weaseltail, the two of them chatting with Larkfoot near the nursery. Redclaw was staring at Frostmask with a mournful gaze, while Weaseltail and Larkfoot continued their conversation, oblivious. Frostmask quickly looked away as soon as her gaze met with Redclaw's. Guilt flipped in her stomach, but she pushed the feeling away, turning her attention back to Poolcloud instead. She cast another glance over her shoulder towards him.
"You think he's okay?" she fretted to Pineshade. "Not wanting to eat isn't like him. What if he's getting sick too?"
Pineshade followed her gaze back towards Poolcloud as he ducked under the lichen and into the medicine cats' den.
"I think he's just worried about Fogfur," she meowed. "But, I'll talk to Dewleaf, and ask her to keep an eye on him."
Frostmask nodded, some of her concern fading. Dewleaf wouldn't let anything bad happen to Poolcloud.
They made it to the holly bush that formed the apprentices' den, and Pineshade stuck her head inside, calling to Cricketpaw with a mew while Frostmask woke Lizardpaw from his nap by stomping a paw on the ground of the den. Then they drew back, waiting for their sleepy apprentices to compose themselves and emerge from the den.
"What are your plans with Lizardpaw today?" Pineshade asked. "Do you want to take him hunting with me and Cricketpaw?"
Frostmask's tail twitched regretfully. Hunting with Pineshade sounded fun, but during their uneventful border patrol around the territory this morning, she'd promised Lizardpaw they'd do battle training after sun-high.
"I think I should do some battle training with him instead," Frostmask meowed. "Sorry."
Pineshade flicked the apology away with a wave of her tail.
"No problem. We can always train together some other time," she said. "Battle training's a good idea."
Pineshade's fur prickled, and her gaze darkened.
"Given the state of the forest, he might need it soon."
Frostmask watched Lizardpaw intently as she crept around the edge of the Burnt Sycamore's clearing, sticking to the shadows of the pines. It had snowed again a few sunrises ago, and the alternating patches of white snow and dark shadow disguised her pelt well. She could see that Lizardpaw's ears were pricked in alertness from where he stood in the center of the clearing, but he wasn't looking in her direction. Maybe he hadn't noticed her yet. Moving quickly, Frostmask slipped into the clearing, trying to stay outside his field of vision. She headed towards the roots of the Burnt Sycamore, her muscles tensing as she expected to find him streaking towards her and pouncing at any moment.
But, her fore-paws slapped against the roots of the tree, their path there undisturbed. Brow furrowing, Frostmask turned to look at Lizardpaw, and he finally whipped around to see her, several heart-beats too late.
Frostmask's tail twitched. In this training exercise, Lizardpaw was supposed to be guarding the Burnt Sycamore, and when he spotted Frostmask, he should attack her to stop her from getting there. But, in the three rounds that they've tried it, Frostmask had managed to slip past him undetected each time.
Lizardpaw's ears flattened down as he realized he failed again, and he came padding over to Frostmask, his tail trailing in the muddy ground. Frostmask's twitching tail stilled, her annoyance evaporating when she saw how glum he looked.
'Let's try some different training,' she signed. 'We can spar together.'
Lizardpaw just nodded and sighed, his blue eyes downcast. Frostmask flicked her tail to motion for him to follow, and she led them away from the base of the Burnt Sycamore and into the more open clearing area. Frostmask turned back to face Lizardpaw, and she stretched out her legs, readying her muscles before she settled into a crouch.
'You attack first,' she told Lizardpaw.
He nodded again, his shoulders tensing. In a flash, he was lunging at her. Frostmask pirouetted smoothly out of the path of his charge, kicking a paw out as she did so to trip him. Her paw successfully connected with a leg, and Lizardpaw stumbled. He recovered quickly, although not quickly enough. Frostmask was already out of his line of sight, behind him. His head jerked around in confusion as Frostmask pounced on him, forcing him to the ground. After a momentary struggle, he went slack, simply allowing Frostmask to pin him to the earth. Lizardpaw gazed up at her with eyes dull with frustration and disappointment. Frostmask stepped off of him, allowing him to rise and shake the dirt from his pelt.
She tilted her head as she studied him for a moment.
'You know better than to so easily let your opponent out of your line of sight,' Frostmask commented. 'That was one of the first techniques we practiced.'
Lizardpaw avoided meeting her eyes. His tail twitched, and he didn't respond to her beyond a curt nod. Frostmask gestured at him to sit, and she did the same, waiting until he finally lifted his eyes from the ground to her.
'What's wrong?' she asked. 'You haven't been focused on training this whole time.'
Lizardpaw was still for a few moments, his blue eyes staring into her own. Then his body moved quickly in a sudden question.
'Am I useless?'
Frostmask stiffened in shock, giving a hard blink.
'Of course not!' she responded, her facing screwing up with her vehemence.
Lizardpaw scuffled his paws, his expression unconvinced.
'Why would you think that? Has someone said something to you?' Frostmask demanded, her mind immediately flying to Dampfang.
Her claws curled out of her paws and sunk deeply into the muddy ground.
I swear, if Dampfang spoke to Lizardpaw that way, I'll flay him alive!
But, Lizardpaw shook his head 'No,' and Frostmask relaxed, her claws sheathing again.
'No one's said anything,' Lizardpaw signed. 'It's just… a feeling that I have.'
'But, why would you think that?' Frostmask insisted.
Lizardpaw looked away. His paws began to move in signs in response, but he kept his gaze off of Frostmask.
'Well it's why you make me do special training right? And, why Sedgestar checks up on me.' Lizardpaw's face creased in a frown. 'He doesn't do that to Featherpaw and Yewpaw.'
Frostmask chewed her lip for a moment as she tried to think of a delicate response. She didn't want to say the wrong thing and risk upsetting Lizardpaw more than he was already upset now. He glanced over at her again, waiting for her answer.
'It's true that your training has been a bit different in someways than the other apprentices' training,' she signed. 'But, it's been that way, so you're able to compensate for your lack of hearing. It's not because you're weak or useless.'
'As for Sedgestar…' Frostmask hesitated.
She knew that Sedgestar checked in on Lizardpaw to privately assess him and make sure he was making good progress with his training. But, she was afraid that if she told Lizardpaw that, he would interpret it as Sedgestar not having faith in him.
'He cares about you and wants you to do well,' she signed. 'He is your kin after all.'
'He's Yewpaw's and Featherpaw's kin too,' Lizardpaw responded, his chin jutting out mutinously. 'It's because he doesn't think I can do it, right?'
Frostmask winced faintly.
Snake-dung! That thought was exactly what I was trying to avoid.
'That's not true,' Frostmask insisted.
Frostmask began another sign, but her paws faltered as Lizardpaw's tail lashed, and he jumped to his feet.
'I'm never going to be a real warrior, am I?' Lizardpaw demanded, his blue eyes blazing with pain. 'Why would Sedgestar ever bring me into a battle when he could take Yewpaw or Featherpaw instead? They're just as good at fighting as me and they can hear. So, he won't have to worry about them like they're a helpless kit!'
Lizardpaw glared at her, his short white pelt prickling around him like it was crackling with electricity. Frostmask was motionless for a few heartbeats as she processed his outburst. But, then her paws began to move in slow signs.
'You know that I was born outside of ShadowClan, right?' she asked. 'Some cats think that I'll never be a loyal warrior because of it.'
Her stomach clenched as an image of Sedgestar's cold amber eyes, glaring at her in his den formed in her mind.
Lizardpaw shook his head firmly.
'It's not the same,' he signed.
His bitter blue gaze flitted over her.
'There's nothing wrong with you,' he added.
Frostmask sighed softly.
'I know it's not the same,' she signed. 'But, some cats do think there's something wrong with me. Just on the inside instead of the outside.'
Frostmask's whiskers twitched in rueful humor. Lizardpaw was still as he gazed at her, waiting for her to continue. Her dark humor evaporated as instead a heavy weight settled in Frostmask's gut. This conversation was swirling up all of her feelings about being a rejected outcast, which had burdened her throughout her life. And, they were made even sharper by the edge of betrayal that she'd felt since the reveal of the secret after the battle. The painful emotions pooled together and then froze into a terrible icicle, its sharp point piercing her heart.
'I know that I'll never understand what it's like to be deaf,' she signed. 'But, I do understand the feeling that you're different. That you don't belong. That no matter what you do, you'll never be enough.'
Lizardpaw blinked hard and looked away from her. Frostmask felt a lump forming in the back of her throat as an echo of his emotion rushed through her. But, she shoved her own pain away as she rose to her paws and walked over to him, gently lying her tail over his back. Lizardpaw's muscles were stiff, but he didn't move away from her comforting touch. Frostmask drew his gaze back to her with a brush of her paw against his shoulder.
'But, there is still strength in your difference,' Frostmask signed. 'You can do things that no other cats in the clan can! You can feel someone's vibrations through the ground as they walk. And, you can pick up even the faintest scent trails. In someways, you are the most useful cat in the clan.'
'…And, in other ways, I'm the most useless,' he signed, but there was some dry humor in his expression. 'Like when it comes to listening to birdsongs.'
Frostmask purred.
'Birdsong's are overrated,' she said with a dismissive tail-flick. 'They just wake you up in the morning, right after you've gotten to your nest after a long night-hunt.'
Lizardpaw purred faintly, but there was a thoughtful look in his eyes, his tail twitching as he considered her words.
'What about you?' he asked after a hesitation. 'What strength do you have from being born outside of ShadowClan?'
Frostmask swallowed uncertainly, her skin prickling.
I'm still trying to figure that out.
But, on the outside, she purred, giving his shoulder a gentle bump with her own.
'That's a secret,' she signed, arching her brows and giving an exaggerated waving of her tail.
Lizardpaw purred again, his gaze narrowing playfully. Frostmask's heart eased some as he returned to his bright-eyed self.
'But, I'm your apprentice! Don't I get to know?!' he asked.
'Only if you beat me this round,' Frostmask said, trotting back into the more open part of the clearing and flicking her tail at him to follow. 'We still have more battle training to do.'
Lizardpaw's focus had sharpened after their conversation, and Frostmask was pleased by how well he started holding his own against her. Now, they prowled around each other in their final match. Frostmask muscles were aching from their repeated tussling on the ground, but she rolled the soreness from her shoulders, getting ready.
Frostmask leapt at Lizardpaw, and he ducked beneath her, her paws just skimming the ends of his fur. Frostmask landed behind him, and he whirled around quickly to face her, not even allowing her to be out of his sight for a heartbeat. A jolt of pride warmed her chest.
Good!
Then Frostmask was dancing backwards as he moved into an attack. Lizardpaw's blue eyes darken with concentration as he aimed a series of unforgiving cuffs at her head with his forepaws.
Impressed with his speed, Frostmask dodged, managing to avoid most of his hits, although one made contact with the side of her muzzle, snapping her head to the side. Frostmask drove the sting of the hit away with a few swift blinks, but she still kept a careful eye on Lizardpaw, watching as his flurry of hits slowed, his stamina flagging as all the tiring training caught up to him. Sensing his weakness, Frostmask surged forward, breaking through his hurried, defensive swipes and tackling him.
The tackle was a risk because Lizardpaw was larger than her and theoretically could overpower her, but Frostmask didn't think he was yet trained enough to know how to use the full power of his strength. She could feel him struggling against her now, but his moves were unfocused, and he wasn't using the motion of their tumble to his advantage. Frostmask on the other paw, harnessed the power of their roll to make up for her lesser strength and size. She moved with it until she rolled back to the top, at which point, she slammed her weight back, jarring the two of them to a stop and shoving Lizardpaw to the earth, pinning him in place.
Panting, Frostmask stepped off of him.
'You did well. Especially with that hit,' she signed, reaching a paw up to touch her still slightly stinging muzzle.
Lizardpaw's eyes brightened, his tail curling up happily as he scrambled back to his feet.
'But, you need to learn how to move with the roll when you're tumbling on the ground,' she added.
Frostmask explained to him how to make his body limp, moving with flow of the motion until the exact right moment, when he should tense and stop, ending up pinning his opponent. They practiced it a few more times until she dismissed him from training for the night. The sun had set a little while ago, turning the clearing nearly pitch black, and Frostmask was tired of tripping over the Burnt Sycamore's roots.
As she walked to the edge of the clearing to lead them back to camp, she hesitated when she noticed Lizardpaw wasn't right behind her. She turned back to glance at him questioningly. He padded over to her, his brow furrowed and troubled like it had been earlier in the evening.
'Frostmask?' Lizardpaw asked, before hesitating, his paws shifting with uncharacteristic nervousness.
She tilted her head at him, gesturing at him to continue. He paused for a moment longer.
'What we were talking about earlier… Does that feeling,' he asked finally, 'that feeling that you don't belong… Now that you're a warrior, does it get better? Does it go away?'
Frostmask blinked and touched her flank to his so he could feel the vibrations of the purr that she forced from her chest.
'Yes,' she lied.
She and Lizardpaw walked into a quiet camp. Cats were either still out on their evening patrols or in their nests sleeping, so besides Greytail, Darkpelt and Larkfoot, who were sharing a meal and talking quietly near the elders' den, the camp's clearing was deserted.
'Get something to eat and get some rest,' Frostmask signed to Lizardpaw. 'We'll resume training at dawn.'
Lizardpaw nodded, his bright pink tongue curling out in a sudden yawn. Frostmask purred and watched him pad off to the fresh-kill pile with a fond gaze. She knew he must be exhausted from all the battle training they did that evening.
Frostmask, however, didn't quite feel like going to her nest yet. The sun set quickly in leaf-bare, so although it was already fully dark out, energy still fueled her body. Her gaze flickered back over to Lizardpaw and the fresh-kill pile, focusing on the dwindling prey supply.
I could hunt for a while until I get tired. ShadowClan needs the food.
Frostmask's gaze flickered up to the night sky. The stars were clear and bright tonight since the moon was only a thin, curved claw. Frostmask's jaw clenched in sudden anxiety.
It was only a few nights away from the new moon, and she still hadn't figured out if she should meet Paledusk or not. The decision needled her like thorns in her pelt.
Honestly, she was curious to learn more about Paledusk's and May's past, but beyond her personal curiosity, a part of her also felt like she had an obligation to ShadowClan to go to the meeting— any chance she had to get information about SkyClan or RiverClan out of Paledusk, she should take, right? She had already told Sedgestar and Grovepelt about how RiverClan had wanted ShadowClan's herbs, which was something she had found out from Paledusk.
Frostmask frowned slightly to herself.
But, would it even be safe to meet with Paledusk? What if it was some kind of trap or ambush or attack?
Frostmask gave her head a small shake.
No. That doesn't make sense. If he wanted to hurt me, he'd have done it already— that night when I confronted him on SkyClan territory. I think he's genuine about wanting to speak to me.
But, still, to meet with Paledusk, she'd have to sneak away from camp, which came with the risk of getting caught. Obviously she couldn't get Sedgestar's permission for the meeting because that would mean confessing that she knew Paledusk was her father, and that she'd already seen him once on SkyClan territory. It would only make him more suspicious of her and cause him to further doubt her loyalty.
Her stomach twisted sickeningly. The emotion was even fresher and stronger than usual because of her conversation with Lizardpaw.
She heaved a sigh, her eyes still on the moon. Frostmask couldn't help but feeling like the large, pearly claw was looming over her head, about to come slashing down at any moment in her execution.
"You alright?"
Frostmask blinked, jerked out of her thoughts by the familiar mew. She pulled her gaze off of the moon to see Autumnleap padding over to her. He had just emerged from the warriors' den, judging by the way his fur stuck up in sections, still ruffled from sleep.
She shrugged.
"Yeah. I guess," she meowed. "Just thinking about things."
He yawned widely before half-heartedly reaching a paw up to try to flatten some of his long fur on his shoulder. His ruffled appearance sent a rush of unexpected warmth through her chest, chasing away the chill brought on by her thoughts about Paledusk, Sedgestar, and his betrayal… Just something about his scruffy pelt was strangely endearing.
"Wanna talk about it?" he asked, his jaws twitching as he tried fending back another yawn.
He was unsuccessful and his body was wracked by it, his teeth flashing in the low light.
"I'm alright," she said, her whiskers twitching in faint amusement. "Maybe you should just get back to your nest; you look like you're asleep on your paws. Why'd you come out here anyway?"
Autumnleap squinted thoughtfully as if he wasn't quite sure why he had either.
"Thirsty," he said finally. "I wanted a drink. Then when I was having some water, I saw you looking like you were having a fierce argument with the moon. So, I decided to check on you too."
Frostmask purred lightly.
"Well I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine," she said.
Even though Autumnleap's gaze was still half-lidded with sleep, she saw his eyes flick over her skeptically. She shot a quick glance up to the sky before glancing over at Autumnleap again.
"Although I'm a little bit mad the moon won the fight," she joked, rumbling a brief purr.
Frostmask's heart warmed as she was rewarded with his laugh in response.
Still purring, Autumnleap took a seat next to her, twisting to groom his side and trying to flatten his fur with a bit more vigor this time.
"I was thinking of going for a hunt," Frostmask continued. "I don't feel like heading to my nest yet."
"I'll come with you," Autumnleap said immediately, lifting his head and glancing over at her as sleep was chased from his amber gaze.
Frostmask tilted her head to the side.
"I'd enjoy the company, but I don't want to keep you from your nest," she said.
Autumnleap got to his paws and stretched, yawning for a final time. Then he straightened and gave his pelt a brisk shake.
"But, someone's gotta keep the moon in line!" he purred, his tail twitching playfully. "If it starts another fight, I'll beat it up for you."
Frostmask shook her head with an exasperated purr. But, then she got to her paws without another word and began to walk towards the thorn tunnel, Autumnleap right behind her.
Frostmask and Autumnleap twined their way through the dark forest. They had managed to snag two mice, but the scarcity of prey sent them scouring across the territory, and they found themselves close to the ThunderClan border, still without anything else to show for it. During their unsuccessful hunt, a deep feeling of melancholy had taken roost in Frostmask's chest, making her quiet and pensive. She sent a long glance across to the still thunderpath and into the territory beyond.
"I'm sure we'll be over there again soon, battling SkyClan," she murmured, her gaze searching the ThunderClan forest.
"Are you nervous about the next battle?" Autumnleap asked, coming to stand at her shoulder.
Frostmask stiffened suddenly, panic stabbing at her.
Why would he ask that?! Did he find out my father's in SkyClan?
"No. Of course not," Frostmask responded sharply, drawing away from him. "I'd always fight to defend ShadowClan!"
Autumnleap blinked at her in surprise.
"I know that!" he protested. "All I meant was since you got pretty badly hurt last time. I was just wondering if you were worried…"
He gestured towards where she was still missing fur from the bite wound she'd received on her neck. Frostmask made herself relax, and she gave her head a small, sharp shake, her fur hot with embarrassment.
"Sorry," she mumbled. "I shouldn't've been so defensive…"
"You know that I know you're loyal," he meowed, peering at her in concern.
Frostmask sighed, digging her claws slightly into the ground. Powerful emotions sloshed in her belly, making her feel unsteady on her paws. She was torn between guilt about not telling Autumnleap the truth about Paledusk, and terror that if she did, she'd lose him.
Not only is Paledusk SkyClan's deputy, he's also the cat that almost killed Autumnleap. An insidious thought whispered. What would he think of me if he knew the truth? Maybe he'd be disgusted by me. Maybe he'd hate me.
Frostmask winced faintly to herself.
"I'm sorry," she repeated, forcing a purr. "I feel like lately, you've just been being nice, and in response, I've just been clawing your whiskers off."
Autumnleap purred quietly, but he was still looking at her with worry.
"It's alright," he said. "I know you've been going through a rough time lately."
Frostmask sighed again.
That's an understatement.
Autumnleap stared at her for a few moments longer.
"…Anything that you want to talk about?" he asked, breaking the silence between them.
"Not right now," Frostmask said, scuffling her paws on the ground. "Right now I just want to forget about all that stuff."
Autumnleap's amber eyes brightened.
"I can help with that too," he said, flicking his tail against her side playfully and trotting away from the thunderpath. "Come with me."
"Where are we going? What are we doing?" Frostmask asked.
Her voice was uncertain, but her paws weren't as she followed him back deeper into their territory.
"We're going to have fun of course," he said, arching a brow at her as he glanced over his shoulder. "You asked for a distraction: you're going to get one."
Frostmask's whiskers twitched, partly in amusement and partly in confusion.
"How long will this take?" she asked. "We're supposed to be hunting, and I have training with Lizardpaw at dawn—"
Autumnleap gently flicked his tail across her muzzle, silencing her. Frostmask glared at him, and he twitched his tail away, leaving her to swipe auburn hairs from her mouth with her paw.
"Hey!" she protested.
"I'm sorry," Autumnleap meowed, gazing at her solemnly. "But, I think the Clan will survive if we don't complete our hunt. This is an unsanctioned patrol, after all. And, besides, the first rule of having fun is that you don't think about your future responsibilities. That's for tomorrow-Frostmask to worry about. Not current-Frostmask."
Frostmask arched a brow at him.
"There's rules about having fun?!" she asked indignantly. "I thought part of what makes things fun is that there aren't any rules!"
"The second rule of having fun is that you don't question the rules," Autumnleap said with a purr.
His mockingly serious facade had crumbled, and now his amber gaze shimmered in clear amusement. Frostmask rolled her eyes but purred in response, deciding to just go along with it.
"Alright," she said. "Then what's the third rule, wise-one?"
He twitched his tail mischievously.
"You have to catch me," he said, suddenly sprinting off into the forest.
Frostmask let out an indignant huff at his lack of warning, but she sprung forward after him. Her still-sore muscles from training with Lizardpaw complained as she followed his dark shadow, but she pressed through the ache.
Panting, Frostmask closed the distance between them in a few more strides, a sudden surge of playful energy in her chest giving her the speed to catch up. Letting out a victorious yowl, she pounced in a clumsy tackle. The two of them went tumbling across the cold ground, rolling through a patch of snow. When they finally came to a stop, Frostmask stumbled back to her paws with a shiver.
"It's too cold to be rolling around on the ground!" she gasped, shaking the dampness from her pelt.
She prodded Autumnleap's side with her paw as he got back to his paws, purring.
"Besides, what sort of rule is 'you have to catch me?'" she said, narrowing her eyes teasingly. "I'm starting to think you're making these all up on the spot."
Autumnleap scoffed offendedly.
"Would you please refer back to rule number two: 'do not question the rules,'" he said in his best pompous voice, sticking his muzzle up in the air.
But, then he squeaked in a very undignified way when Frostmask sent a pawful of snow flying into his face. Frostmask tried to stifle her loud purrs of amusement at the look of shock in Autumnleap's gaze as his quickly rubbed the snow from his muzzle, blinking his eyes hard. As his surprise faded, his eyes narrowed in playful outrage.
"Oh now you've asked for it," Autumnleap growled in a mock threat, crouching down.
Paws sliding on the slick ground, Frostmask tried to scramble away from him, but Autumnleap lunged forward with surprising speed. He grabbed her with his paws and they tumbled, white powder kicking up behind them again.
They hadn't play-fought like this in moons, and Frostmask was caught off guard by Autumnleap's strength. He easily muscled her into the snow, although she noticed his movements were all carefully measured as to not hurt her. Autumnleap pinned her on her back, his gaze glinting deviously as he shifted his weight onto three paws, keeping her in place but freeing one paw to scoop snow onto her. Frostmask squeaked in protest then gasped as the cold from the snow he piled on her wormed its way through her belly fur.
"I win!" Autumnleap declared, his tail waving in victory.
He held up another pawful of snow, hovering it over her face threateningly.
"Surrender, and I'll be merciful!" he growled.
"Never!" Frostmask spat with mock fury, pressing her fore-paws against his white-furred chest.
As Autumnleap went to dump the snow on her, Frostmask buckled, wiggling away from him. She managed to flip over and avoid the snow to her face, but before she could properly get back to her paws, Autumnleap pounced on her, grabbing her scruff in his jaws to keep her from escaping.
Struck with a sudden idea, Frostmask yelped as if he'd hurt her with the nip, and she felt him immediately release her.
"Are you oka—"
Frostmask whipped around towards him, purring and pawing up snow towards his face before he could finish his sentence.
"Hey!" Autumnleap gasped, recoiling and swiping the snow out of his eyes again. "That was a dirty trick! I thought I hurt you."
"'Dirty?'" Frostmask echoed, her gaze shimmering mischievously. "Instead of insulting me, shouldn't you be praising me for using my opponent's weakness against him?"
Autumnleap narrowed his eyes and pounced at her without replying, but she jumped away before he could catch her this time. Then she flashed forward again, raining feather-soft swats against his now very damp face with her fore-paws. Autumnleap rumbled a playful growl, snapping at her paws, but seemed to be missing them deliberately.
Frostmask drew away from him, and the two began to circle each other warily, waiting for the other to strike.
"We were apprentices the last time we wrestled like this," Frostmask said, wistfulness creeping into her voice as she was reminded of the simpler time.
"At least now we no longer have Beeclaw and Swoopstrike growling at us to 'be serious' and 'pay attention,'" Autumnleap said, putting on a deeper voice to mimic their old mentors.
Frostmask purred, a bittersweet swirl of grief and fondness settling over her as she thought of Swoopstrike.
"I don't recall Beeclaw doing much growling," she said.
"Well Swoopstrike did enough growling for the both of them," Autumnleap said with a purr.
But, he stilled, stopping their play-fighting so he could gaze at her. The concern was obvious in his eyes as he tried to judge if talking about Swoopstrike was too painful for her to handle. Frostmask sighed softly and sat down on the cold snow, wrapping her tail tightly around her paws as the chill from her wet pelt finally caught up to her again.
"Poolcloud's worried about Fogfur," Frostmask murmured. "He's really sick."
"I know," Autumnleap said, his gaze sympathetic.
She stared down at her paws.
"So much has changed since we were apprentices," she said, unable to hide the pain in her voice.
Autumnleap padded over to her, sitting by her side.
"…At least we still have each other," he meowed gently.
She glanced back over at him.
"And, Poolcloud and Pineshade," Autumnleap added as if an afterthought.
Frostmask huffed, giving her head a small shake.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Well, when you mentioned Pineshade, it reminded me how we didn't have the best relationship as apprentices," she said drily. "Maybe I'm looking back at the past too fondly."
She stared out into the dark forest.
"It all just feels so long ago now," Frostmask said, and Autumnleap murmured an agreement.
Frostmask sighed softly, losing herself in her thoughts and her memories. Sometimes she felt like an entirely different cat than she was as a young apprentice.
In some ways it was good: when she had just started her apprenticeship, could she have ever imagined being able to stand up to Dampfang like she could now? But, in others…
Frostmask unsheathed her claws, digging them into the snow under her.
Half SkyClan.
She stared down at her paws, her shoulders tensing.
I never would've guessed that as an apprentice.
Frostmask clenched her jaw.
How did she, a daughter of a SkyClan cat and a rogue, end up in ShadowClan of all places? And, why couldn't her Clan be as loyal and devoted to her as she was to it? It wasn't like she could control her blood. Or the fact that May had brought her here, and Sedgestar had allowed her to stay. All she could control was who she was today… and she was a ShadowClan cat.
Her claws glinted faintly in the low light, calling her attention to them and away from her thoughts. She lifted one paw up off the ground to study them. For the first time, she noticed how long and curved her claws were— much longer than the claws that she'd seen on her clan-mates.
A fragment of a memory flashed in her mind.
Long, curved claws just like her own, stained red with blood as they raked down Autumnleap's belly.
Her gaze flickered over to Autumnleap's underside, and she caught a glimpse of the scar Paledusk left there.
Her pelt prickling with horror, Frostmask shuddered, quickly putting her claws away.
"What's wrong?" Autumnleap asked, making her jump again.
"Nothing," she said, too quickly.
Autumnleap gazed at her, his eyes narrowing slightly. Frostmask's stomach clenched.
"I was just thinking about why we're here," Frostmask meowed, hoping to distract him.
He cocked his head to the side, his brow furrowing in confusion.
"What to you mean? Here in the woods? We were hunting," he said.
"No. Not that," Frostmask said, giving her head a small shake. "Like, why are we in ShadowClan? Why were you born here and not somewhere else; why did my mom choose to take me here… Things like that. Do you ever think about those things?"
Autumnleap was silent for several heartbeats.
"…No," he finally admitted.
He shot her a sheepish look.
"Do you think I'm stupid for not?" he asked.
"No!" Frostmask said, gently bumping his shoulder with hers. "Of course not. If anything, it's stupid for me to think about. Wondering about it doesn't help or change anything, right?"
Autumnleap nodded, his mouth opening like he was about to say something, but then he sneezed suddenly instead. Frostmask shot him a sharp look as he pawed at his muzzle.
"I just got some snow in my nose," he reassured, seeing her expression. "I don't feel like I'm getting sick."
Frostmask nodded, her concern fading slightly.
"Even so, we should probably fetch our prey and get back to camp," she meowed. "Or, we'll both catch a chill with our wet pelts."
Autumnleap nodded. As they both stood, Frostmask flicked a clump of snow off of his shoulder with a sweep of her tail, and Autumnleap purred a thanks. Then his eyes met hers, and Frostmask froze, suddenly finding herself trapped beneath his gaze.
The warmth in his eyes was almost enough to chase the cold from her pelt. Frostmask swallowed hard as her heartbeat picked up like the drumming feet of a rabbit. She finally broke the connection of their gazes, glancing down at her paws. But, her racing heart didn't slow.
"You know," she mumbled. "I think I'll never know why exactly I ended up in ShadowClan, but I'm really glad I did… so I was able to meet you."
Author's Note: Wow, lots of things happening in this chapter. Sickness lingers in ShadowClan while Sedgestar plots secretly with ThunderClan, and Frostmask juggles being a mentor and dealing with her personal issues with Paledusk and the secret, while still trying to spend time with her friends and navigate her growing emotions for Autumnleap… Whew! It was a lot to pack in. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you all for reading and reviewing! See you next time.
Stacy Rockfall: Yes, spot on about Barredpaw! He and his brother Screechpaw are both named after owls (Barred owl and screech owl. I guess their parents must've have an owl obsession lol.) Haha I think Paledusk lives for being up to no good. And, the ThunderClan and ShadowClan alliance is still up in the air at this point, although you are definitely right that their interests are aligned right now. Also I really appreciate all your reviews! I don't find them boring or repetitive at all :) I hope you're staying safe as well!
Avalanche: Ooo like your hunch about Willowstar and Fennelstar! (Although I don't want to say anymore and possibly give anything away.) Lizardpaw is such a sweet boy, I'm really enjoying writing his growth as an apprentice. Hahaha Paledusk is very annoying. He's a garbage little kitty man.
Shimmerbreeze: Hahaha thank you for this. The "CAPTAIN" really made me laugh. (I'd like to comment more, but I don't want to give anything away! I know it's like the slowest of slow burns though— and I'm not sure if the events in this chapter made things better or worse for you. I'm sorry! haha.)