Author's Note: Sorry I had been gone so long. Real life's been pretty tough these past few weeks but now I'm back and I'm ready to get the story back on track. Yeah, this story's pretty much dovetailed straight into cringe dramedy but eh, I'm writing this for dumb fun and it's for enjoyment. Even if I'm a bad writer, at least I'm having fun.

Forbes Hospital

Monroeville, Pennsylvania

Morning hit Riku like a freight train as he sprung up from his bed, groaning in pain from the sharp soreness in his back and the rough cotton-mouthed dryness in his throat. Yawning and stretching, he slowly stepped out of the hospital bed and stumbled his way towards the sink as he tried to regain his composure and fully wake up. Fumbling around as he tried to rub his eyes with one hand while reaching for those disposable paper cups with the other, the young man was still trying to process what all had happened in the past few days.

After downing several cups of water, Riku took a deep breath and began to talk to himself. He'd occasionally do that if he knew nobody was around. It wasn't meant as a "hearing voices" crazy person kind of way. For him, it was a case of thinking out loud. Kind of dumb, but it helped clear his mind more easily and process his thoughts on heavy situations like this.

"Alright. So, I found out that not only was my last living relative brutally murdered by some long-haired psycho but that vampires are real, I'm the heir to some old medieval Catholic order with ties to the wealthy upper echelons of society, the man who murdered my uncle is going to try and kill me, I'm now also a billionaire apparently with all the stressors and complications that entails, and my wife is pregnant too. This has to be some kind of dream, right? But if it was a dream, I would've probably woken up by now. Well, let's just take this one day at a time and keep calm as best I can. Not much else I can do right now."

After a quick shower and his morning medications, Riku was formally discharged and had been picked up by Sebastian, just as Ayane had told him last night. His mind was so overburdened with depressive dread that he didn't even notice or care that he was riding shotgun in a high-end Lamborghini of all things and that the weather outside was bright and sunny. Riku's mind was somewhere else, in a dark and foggy cloud. Hopefully, he could sleep it off.

Later that night, he awoke from his nap and remembered what Sephiroth told him the night before he had his near-miss overdose. That he had to be dressed nice and looking respectful for some kind of orientation ceremony. Once more showering, styling his hair, and then putting on a black suit and tie with a white dress shirt, the silver-haired man walked down to the same parlor where he saw Vladimir's video will on a console from the future.

Everyone was there. Count Sephiroth, his Brides and his Sons, Kairi, Sora, Sebastian, even his friend Axel, his older brother Cloud, and his twin siblings Roxas and Xion. All were dressed in formal or semi-formal attire and sat on the various couches and chairs in full attention save for Sephiroth himself, who was standing up in front of the marble hearth of a fireplace.

"There's the man of the hour! Alright, Riku. It is time that you are to be officially inducted into the Order of the Dragon. But before the ceremony can begin, I'm gonna come clean to those of you in the room who don't know the full story. Yes, I am an actual vampire and yes, I am the real Count Dracula. Me being Riku's long-lost dad was a cover story since I didn't know who all I could trust when I arrived here in the States. But I can read minds and do so at will and not all of my kind have that ability. I know Kairi won't spill that secret and neither will Sora or his own brethren. My three Brides and my three Sons are also vampires as well, and no they are not my wives or my adopted sons. Son and Bride are their titles."

The red-haired mortal woman raised her hand and asked "Wait, titles? What do you mean by that? Is that like a special thing for vampires?"

"Sort of. The Order of the Dragon has several titles and ranks, some are open to all members and others are only open to specific members who meet certain conditions. To be a Bride of Dracula or a Son of Dracula, you must be a fully sworn member of the Order of the Dragon for at least three years, you cannot be a member of the clergy, and you must be fully vetted by the one who holds the title of Dracula. To achieve the rank, you are turned into a vampire yourself, as the title of Dracula only belongs to the highest ranking member of the Order who belongs to the armies of the living dead."

"So, is tonight's ceremony meant to turn me into a vampire?"

"Not necessarily. You're going to be officially inducted into the Order of the Dragon but we can hold off on your turning if you want, just as we had initially discussed. I just wanted to make sure we're clear on that. You were pretty delirious when we first met. Feeding from you and then giving you some of my blood as a mild sedative can mess with people's head."

"Wait, was that why you kissed me that night? Looking back, I always felt that was really weird given the fact you're not only NOT in a relationship with me, but also a blood relative and a long dead one at that. I figured it was some creepy European thing or something."

"Nah. Vampire blood has intoxicating effects when consumed by humans and can act as a mild sedative, especially after someone has been fed on. After I drank some of your blood, I bit my lip to draw just a little bit of blood and then kissed you. I was hoping my blood would help calm you down and prevent a panic attack or a nervous breakdown. Your mind was racing and full of dread, probably due to the unusual circumstances of Vladimir's death and funeral. Sorry for drugging you like that. Figured you needed something to calm you down mentally and sleep easy that night."

"Eh, that's still kind of creepy but at least you were trying to help me out in this situation as opposed to some fucked up ulterior motive. Apology accepted, I guess."

The Count looked over the room and without saying a word, held his right hand up to his heart in a closed fist and nodded. Sebastian immediately stood up, as did the Sons and Brides of Dracula, all of them standing in unison.

"Now, before Riku is finally sworn into the Order of the Dragon, does anyone else have anything to say? Speak now or forever hold your peace."

Kairi and Sora both stood up, both of them kissing Riku and hugging him closely. Sora then looked up at Sephiroth and walked up to him, whispering in his ear.

"You said you can read minds at will so you probably know my secret as well. Is it okay if I tell him?"

"Yes, you may."

The spiky-haired brunette nodded and walked back into the center of the parlor room. He raised his hand up and said "Okay, I have one announcement for Riku and Kairi before the ceremony since everyone's spilling their secrets. Now that Sephiroth's come out of the coffin, I'll come out of the den. Not only do vampires exist, but so do werewolves. I know this because I am one, as are my brothers and sister and my best friend Axel. I'm not even being a goofball smartass either. I'm being dead serious here. The Strife family are a werewolf family and we belong to the same pack. I didn't want to say anything because I was worried you guys wouldn't understand and thought I went off the deep end or something. I hope you guys aren't mad at me."

"Dude, I'm not mad at you. I just found out vampires are real, so it'd make sense that werewolf packs would too. What do you think of this, Kairi?"

"I'm not mad about it either. Actually, I think it's kind of cool to have a werewolf boyfriend, a newly minted billionaire husband and aristocratic vampire in-laws. It's like something out of a dark fantasy novel and I unironically like that."

"Alright, Riku. Are you ready for the initiation ceremony?"

Riku said nothing but looked at Sephiroth and just nodded in reverent agreement before following him and the others out of the parlor.