Ties That Bind 1.5 The Knot
Chapter 13
Friend or Foe
Autor's Note: Hi everyone just a quick note to say thanks for reading and following along I decided to do a little bit of a rewrite on this chapter and spice it up a bit by throwing in a little bit of an unexpected curve ball this week and well I hope you enjoy. Please send you thoughts and reviews as I enjoy hearing from all my readers. Thanks Mars Light
Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon never did, never will thank you!
Emily watched on carefully as Serena continued to pace around her room while she continued on with her pre-wedding preparations and hung up the dress that Serena would be getting married in within just a few short hours being cautious to be sure there were no wrinkles or creases showing.
She smiled knowing that it was a picture-perfect day outside and a magnificent after wedding feast was being prepared, everything was following into motion perfectly, except for the bride who was not as she watched her charge jitter around nervously.
She picked up a small shawl from her vanity chair and walked over carefully seeing Serena standing by the window looking out deep in thought as she stepped up closer and put the shawl around her shoulders while noticing the way Serena immediately jumped from her close contact as she quietly responded "I am sorry I did not mean to alarm you. I saw you shivering and thought you may have felt a slight chill" even though she knew there was not a single breeze blowing right now
Serena took a hold of the shall and wrapped it closer around her shoulders as she nodded her head knowing it had nothing to do with the weather on why she had goose bumps forming on her arms as she nodded her head responding politely "that was considerate, thank you"
Emily nodded her head seeing that Serena seemed more distracted today than usual today as she commented "I can also get you a cup of tea, it might help settle your nerves"
Serena closed her eyes and shook her head no as she took another deep breath in knowing nothing could help calm the way she was feeling right now as the day grew closer to when she would become the Viscounts wife as she felt another shutter run through her as she spoke quietly just above a whisper "no thank you, I don't believe there is anything that could help right now" as she turned back to look out the window and let out a long sigh once more expecting somehow that she would see him riding up on horseback and demand that this wedding not take place and she would not have to marry a complete stranger, but so far he had yet to show.
Emily stepped back seeing once more Serena's full attention was drawn to out that window watching and staring waiting for what would not be. She stepped towards the vanity and picked up the silver -plated brush and comb as she turned towards the window and commented dryly "the viscount seems to be a goodman, both polite and respectful, I am sure he will make a fine husband"
Serena let out a long huff knowing that was the way the man seemed to others as a refined gentleman, but after speaking to him herself, her initial thoughts on the man was something else entirely different with his arrogance and dismissive behavior towards her own opinions and knew she could never be with such a man that she held no respect for as she rolled her eyes back and stated with a small chuckle "yes he seems to be many things although polite and respectful are two words that I would not have chosen to use"
Emily looked to her startled by Serena's outward defiance as a small smirk crossed her lips and she commented "but he does have a certain charm about him, and he is not bad on the eyes either, there are worse gentleman you could be married to, personally I find he is a real catch"
Serena took a deep breath in knowing there was another that she would have felt much lighter and happier if she was given the choice to be marrying him instead today as she nodded her head responding back "yes I am certain for others he would be" as she looked back out the window on the luscious grounds where she was being held captive inside
Emily took a deep breath in knowing of the name that was forbidden to be mentioned within these walls, the name that she herself had heard Serena calling out from this room many times at night in her sleep as she spoke aloud "you are thinking of that other man, again aren't you? The man that I saw you dancing with closely together the evening of the ball?"
Serena turned around surprised to hear Emily bring up Darien as she took a deep breath in and knew it was not just this moment but all of them that she was unable to release the thoughts of him from her mind of all the little moments that they shared and made her miss being with him that much more.
She wiped a tear from her eyes thinking of all the moments that would soon be coming to an end, with their little bickering moments that usually ended with them in bed together holding onto each other close, which she was not entirely certain he did not start some of those arguments just so they could get back to making up again.
A small smile crossed her face thinking of the special moments that she shared with him that made her heart sore and could vision it in her head of the small grin he would give her when he looked at her in that certain way of his and the gleam in his eyes told her that he would give into her hearts deepest desires just to see her happy.
She wiped a tear from her eyes knowing love or not, she would never feel that depth of a connection or feel from another the way that she felt with him and would miss having his arms when they wrapped around her holding her close feeling his warm embrace, while hear the soothing words he would whisper by her ear at night, when it was just the two of them alone and they lied close together and he would open up and share little secrets that no one else knew about. She let out a small sniffle and had a tear drop shed from her eyes knowing it was all gone too soon, and now she would belong to another.
She felt her hands begin to quake of the silent thoughts she would not be allowed to express and the lonely lifetime that awaited her married to the viscount, where she would remain his faithful wife until death do, they part as she felt the hole in her heart open wider as a loud sob broke through knowing she was not ready to be married today.
She wiped away the tears from her eyes and looked out the window once more with the last bit of hope that she was still holding onto, but did not see him anywhere in sight, but instead did see a carriage pulling up closer that she was certain held her betrothed as she let out a long sigh knowing this was actually happening and walked away from the window while thinking it was useless to dream or believe in happily ever after's when they didn't exist.
She walked over and sat down on her bed as she looked down at the bracelet that she wore around her wrist that was the only remaining thing to know that there was someone out there who had deeply cared about her before she had gone and pushed him away herself. She took a deep breath in amazed with her own foolish behavior and not being at peace with what she had. Her grandfather reassured her that after marring Bradford love would follow later, but she couldn't see herself ever giving her heart away to the viscount, when it already belonged to another. She let out the deep breath she held as she looked up at the white gown that was chosen for her to wear while questioning "have you ever been in love?"
Emily looked to her startled unsure if she was actually speaking to her or not as she looked around the room, but saw no one else around to answer the question as she shook her head nervously responding back "that is a very personal question miss"
Serena let out a small chuckle missing back home where she could speak openly with the others girls that she considered her dearest friends as she nodded her head replying back "I am sorry I did not mean to pry, please forgive me"
Emily looked to her sitting at the side of the bed alone obviously deeply troubled as she let out a low breath and walked over to sit on the opposite side of the bed as she spoke quietly "I have not found love myself no, but my older sister Amanda she fell deeply in love with a kind and gentle man, he was very good to her"
Serena looked to her with a small grin glad to hear that it wasn't all in the pages of books and there was someone at least who was able to find their own happy ending stating back "I am sure being with the gentleman makes her very happy, did they get married"
Emily stood up from the bed as she shook her head sorrowfully knowing it was not that easy, and being in the social standing she was in that love was not a commodity she could afford, she did not have the chance to marry a highly respected man as others did and replied back telling her solemnly "yes he did for a time, but it would not last and they were unable to stay together"
Serena looked to her with wide eyes surprised to hear the worry some comment as she inquired further asking "if you don't mind me asking what happened between them, why were they unable to stay together?"
Emily stood up straight with her shoulders back as she shook her head and turned back to Serena telling her fully "my family came on rough times and a proper gentleman as some would call him. Offered to have her work in the kitchen where he lives for a time and in return, he promised that would take care of our family. Amanda agreed to his terms expecting it would only be for a short stay, but what she did not know was what type of man that he was. He was a monster who stole her virtue away and she was so ashamed afterwards that she refused to see anyone again and lost contact with her family who loved her. I would receive a letter from her here and there, but with each letter that was sent. I heard it in the words she wrote that she was lost inside. I begged her to come home to us, but she was not the same girl that I remembered as before, she lost something inside of her"
Serena looked to Emily with a sad nod of her head having a clear picture of what Emily's sister would have been suffering through after her own experiences replying back "I am very sorry. I do know what your sister must have been suffering through and I do hope that she will be able to one day find her own happiness again"
Emily took a deep breath in knowing Serena had always been nothing, but kind and respectful towards her, but that she was ignorant towards the way of things as she shook her head telling her "things do not always turn out the way that you would expect them to do so, my sister will no longer find happiness with another man because she is dead"
Serena looked to her startled not expecting to hear such a thing as she shook her head telling her "Emily I had no idea I am so sorry for your loss" Emily nodded her head as she looked to her stating calmly "the last letter that I received from her detailed everything that she had gone through by his hands, he was the one responsible for her death, she was unable to handle the shame of what he brought on our family"
Serena wrapped her arms around herself knowing it was the same shame that Emily spoke of that made her grandfather push her into this arranged marriage to spare further ruin to come to the family name as she shook her head trying to find another answer asking "couldn't there have been another way"
Emily let out a small scoff seeing even now she still did not get or understand what rumors would await her with the precarious position she was found within as she shook her head telling her "I think you already know the answer to that, my sister did not have a way out, but you still do, perhaps if you give the viscount a chance you will see that he can be the right one for you after all"
Serena turned her head away so not to hear anymore of the viscounts praises as she shook her head replying back "I cannot be happy with someone if I am not free to speak my mind and make my own choices"
Emily looked to her with a slight shake of her head not understanding why she would not be more pleased with the intended match questioning "you still think of the other man as the one you wish to be with"
Serena began to blush knowing there was no use hiding the way she really felt for Darien as she turned to Emily with a slight nod of her head thinking of nothing else, but him replying back "yes I do, and at one time I believed he felt the same way about me only now I am not so certain"
Emily looked to her seeing how forlorn she looked thinking of the other man, who obviously was not the man she expected him to be as she shook her head replying back "it would be best if you just forgot about him, you have a good man waiting for you, who will take care of all your needs, it is best that you move on"
Serena took a deep breath in knowing otherwise that there was something that the viscount could not do and that was make her happy or feel loved as she replied back coldly "so I have been told many times by my grandfather that he is stable and proper, but first impressions can be deceiving"
Emily nodded her head knowing full well the dangers of putting trust in the wrong man as she responded back choosing her words carefully "yes that is true, it is difficult to judge a man's character by a first impression even those that would seem otherwise trust worthy"
Serena looked to her with a small nod of her head knowing she was speaking of a specific person who was responsible for her sister's dire circumstance and after her own ordeal with Christopher she could see with the right circumstances where the darkness could swallow you whole and remembered a time that she herself had wished for death to come find her and if it had not been for Darien there to save her she would have succumbed to the darkness as well as she nodded her head agreeing "yes it would appear so, but I have also seen when things seem the most bleak that is when you must not give up and keep holding on a little tighter because there is good in this world to, I have seen it"
Emily stood for a moment surprised by her words, that even now she still believed them and that the other man would show up as she turned to her saying "I just think that what you are waiting for will not come, it would be best if you forget about this other man, when you can do much better then he, you speak of happier times to come well perhaps the moments that you speak of will be found with the Viscount"
Serena sat for a moment thinking of the life she would have to spend silently listening as the Viscount ordered others below him with complete disrespect, while he filled his pockets further with the hard-earned pay of others and knew that she would not find anything but turmoil as she turned her head away and replied back "no I cannot do this, I cannot be married to the Viscount, there is another that I must find a way back to because he is the one that I love please help me. I can't marry that man today or any other"
Emily stood seeing the determined look in her eyes as she nodded her head responding back "wait here" and then turned to walk out of the room. Serena sat on the bed seeing the door close behind her while feeling for the first time in days that her heart was filled up with hope, thinking that maybe she had found a way out of this if Emily was willing to help her escape of at least pass on a message to Darien that she desperately needed him now.
It was not long after that the she heard the door open and close again as she looked to see Emily had entered back into her room as she bit down on her lower lip knowing it was almost to quick as she shook her head asking "that was very quick"
Emily walked back over to the bed without saying a single word as she stood in front of Serena and dropped a pile of letters from her hands down on the bed. Serena looked down at the letters shocked as she picked one up and held it in her hand recognizing it immediately as she looked to her questioning "these are all the letters that I wrote to him why are they still here?"
Emily lifted her head up high knowing of the many letters that she had written all to the same man that were never sent and responded back telling her calmly "your grandfather thought it would be best that you do not have contact with him and receive no response from him either"
Serena looked up to her feeling both hurt by there lies and confused as to why she would keep this from her as she shook her head unsure if Emily was a friend to her or not asking "none of the letters that I wrote to him have been sent and what do you mean no response either has there been letters that he wrote to me?"
Emily took a deep breath in knowing of the almost daily letters that had arrived addressed to her as she nodded her head telling her "yes there were a few, but most were immediately returned back to sender"
Serena stood up from the bed furious to hear the secrets that were being kept away, knowing all this time he had not forgotten about her after all that he was trying to contact her as well and none of the letters that she had written him, he didn't see any of them as she shook her head feeling the anger welling up within questioning "a few? how many were there? And why was I not told of this"
Emily looked to her with a small shake of her head replying back "because it is in your own best interest that you forget about him and receiving letters would only complicate matters further. I am showing you these letters now just so that you will understand and realize that he is not coming and may close this chapter and start a new" as she picked up one of the letters in her hand and tore it in half commenting further "it should matter not what he had said and promised in the past when you are going to be marrying another in a few hours"
Serena looked down seeing the words that she had written where she wrote to the depth of her soul of how much she missed being him, which never left this household as she stood up feeling a new determination as she shook her head telling her "don't you see it does matter? He obviously does still care about me otherwise he would not have sent the letters in the first place now tell me what did the letters say"
Emily looked to her with a small shake of her head having no intentions of going against direct orders telling her back "I am unaware they were all left unopened most were sent back or burned, but miss whatever those letters said it is not important, his character should speak well enough for you to stay clear of him, it would be best that you forget about him and move on"
Serena looked to her with a shake of her head knowing she never could forget about him and even now she had others trying to convince her that Darien was no good when she knew better as she responded back strongly "I can't Emily I can't just shut away the feelings that I have for him, he makes me feel the way that no other possibly could"
Emily turned away from her knowing of the problems this would cause as she took a deep breath in questioning "do you honestly believe that a man like he could ever feel the same about you"
Serena looked to her surprised by her comment when she did not even know Darien to be able to judge how he felt about her as she nodded her head telling her assuredly "yes I do, he may have difficulty opening up and letting others in, but I do believe that his feelings for me are real and true, but why would you question when you don't even know him?"
Emily let out a loud scoff hearing what she thought of him as she turned to look back at Serena stating coldly "because he is unworthy of your thoughts, a man like him could never feel anything but get his own enjoyment out of another, he deserves to be alone in his misery"
Serena took a step back surprised to hear her cold comment about him as she felt a nervous tick in her stomach and shook her head carefully asking "why would you say this about him?"
Emily shook her head surprised she did not realize it sooner as she turned and faced Serena telling her coldly "because he is the one that destroyed my sister's virtue. I know all about him and what he does to women, what he has done to you as well so how can you stand there and still want to be with a man like him, he deserves what he gets to end up alone"
Serena stood there blinking her eyes shocked as she gently questioned "your sister she was?" but was unable to finish her own comment knowing that the poor girl who took her own life was once one of Darien's girls before she was with him as she looked to the girl in front of her knowing now where her hatred for him came from telling her sorrowfully "I didn't know about your sister I'm sorry"
Emily nodded her head not interested in hearing her sympathies telling her angrily "why would you it is not like he thought of her and I am certain he would not have given her a second thought, just as he has not thought about you. You can tell yourself all you want that he cared about you but it was not real"
Serena looked to the angry girl in front of her knowing that she had to take it easy with what she said responding back "that is not true I am very sorry for what happened to your sister I really am, but he is different now, he has changed"
Emily let out a loud laugh expecting that he would never be anything but a monster as she replied coldly "tell that to my sister weeks went by without a single word and then one day we received a letter stating that she would not be returning signed by Montgomery he had destroyed her. I know all about him and the way he uses women, yourself included and you are going to stand there and tell me that he is a changed man"
Serena looked to her shocked that Darien would ever send such a letter to a grieving family, but knew the man that she had first met was far different then the one she was in love with now as she questioned back "he wrote you a letter saying that your sister had died"
Emily nodded her head feeling anger building within to hear her continue to defend his ghastly actions as she told her back plainly "yes and if you are smart you will forget all about that man before he destroys you too, be smart for once you have a proper gentleman who is waiting to marry you and yet you stand up here still pining away for him"
Serena took a deep breath in seeing that this girl was obviously very angry for what happened to her sister and with good reason, but she did not know the entire story either and was only getting half of what happened from a grieving sister as she let out a deep breath and told her "I understand your anger and frustration because you are right, he did do those awful things, he did many of those awful things to me too, but I can honestly stand here and say that he is not the man he was"
Emily shook her head as she let out a loud scoff hearing her once again singing Montgomery's praises stating back "do you honestly believe a man like he could ever change. I don't believe it is possible and even if it were, he is still undeserving of finding happiness for what he has done and deserves to pay"
Serena nodded her head seeing how deep the hatred for Darien went in this girl as she walked away slowly commenting back "I can understand your feelings, but I found myself eventually caring for him and then even loving him for the man he would become. You see he took care of me when I was ill, he gave up his own bed to see me well, he faced down two highway men and was stabbed trying to protect me, he punched someone in the face that was once considered a friend, he went through a treacherous storm because he was concerned over my safety and refused a table at an inn because of the way others perceived me, that is what he has become, that is who he is. I don't know the type of man he was then, but I do know him now"
Emily was taken back by the words she spoke knowing that they did not match anything that she had read in her own letter as she shook the thought away from her head knowing if it weren't for him her sister would still be alive stating back quietly "it does not matter" knowing that he only had her fooled that he could be thought of anything less than a monster replying back harshly "my sister did say in so many words that he had held her down against her will, tied her to his bed and then raped her and he enjoyed it too"
Serena closed her eyes tight remembering what she spoke of because he had done it to her as well as she nodded her head telling apologetically "I know what she went through because I experienced the same by his hands and I am sorry for what happened to her"
Emily looked to her shocked that she had suffered his same cruelty and then admitted to loving him as she did and shook her head asking "you know how he is and yet you still stand here and tell me of all his good deeds"
Serena stood knowing it would not be easy to explain, but needed to help this girl release some of her anger towards Darien as she nodded her head telling her "yes I know it must be difficult to hear this, but I have seen with my own eyes that he has changed, I have felt it with his small gestures you have to believe me he is not the man that he was"
Emily looked to her with a small shake of her head replying back harshly "no I believe it is you who must wise up. You have brought yourself to believe in something that is not there, just look out the window and see for yourself he is not there, nor will he be coming for you"
Serena turned her head away from her thinking of the same thing only moments ago herself as she continued to hold what little hope she had left that he would come as she shook her head telling her sorrowfully "your wrong I do know him and I know that he does care about me"
Emily looked to her with a shake of her head responding back "then it is you who is misguided"
Serena held her head up high as she shook her head telling her back "I know that the Viscount cares more about money and power that is the only reason why he wishes to marry me today, Darien offered to marry me because he wanted to protect my reputation"
Emily looked to her with a loud scoff stating back "does not sound like someone who is deeply in love with you now is he?" Serena closed her eyes knowing that was true that Darien had yet to say the actual words to her as she opened her eyes with a tender realization and looked to her saying back "there are other ways I this world that you can show someone you love the without saying the actual words"
Emily looked to her with a shake of her head about to respond back when there was a knock that came to the door. Serena took a step forward glad to have the distraction and hopefully a chance to get away from this girl as she took a step forward towards the door telling her cautiously "I am just going to open the door"
Emily shook her head having no intention of letting her run off to be with Montgomery as she responded back "I don't think so, just so you can try to run off to be with him. I will not let that happen" as she quickly grabbed a book off the dresser and hit hard her across the face with it knocking Serena off balance and onto the floor as she kneeled down and covered her mouth with her hand questioning "yes?"
She heard the duke comment through the door "the Viscount has arrived please help my granddaughter get prepared as soon as the minster arrives, we will proceed with the ceremony and don't take all day about it either"
Emily looked down to where Serena was struggling under her hold as she commented back loudly enough for him to hear "understood I will have her ready and be down shortly" she waited a moment to hear if there would be any further comment from the duke as she stood up slowly taking her weight off from her as she looked to the girl with a little smirk replying back "your fiancé is waiting for you"
Serena slowly slid across the floor away from the girl knowing she was further disturbed then she realized as she shook her head questioning "what if I don't go through with it" Emily let out a small laugh telling her "oh you will, if he truly is as captivated with you as you say he is then this will be the ultimate revenge to lose what he cherishes to another"
Serena let out a loud gulp as she felt her arms trembling as she heard Emily let out a loud laugh stating "I have been waiting a long time for this time to arrive" as she kneeled down and grabbed onto Serena's chin lifting it up responding back "and you are not going to ruin this for me"
Serena slowly nodded her head yes while knowing she had to find some way out of this, before it was too late.