A/N: Have to work the swing shift tonight, so I'm uploading this early in the morning so I can sleep beforehand. Sorry for the chapter length, but we've been nonstop at my second job due to the start of deer hunting season so I've been working overtime all weekend. Haven't had more than a half-hour to write each evening before it's time to get some rest and head back in.

Also, I've been contacted by a guy who's apparently been receiving messages from another guy who's convinced that he (the first guy) is me. Nothing bad, just annoying for them to deal with somebody talking about cringy RWBY fanfiction. It's on my profile page, but nobody checks that so I'll say it again: I don't use any other online platforms or social media, at all. No Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Xbox live, PlayStation plus, anything. All I have is a steam account with a handful of IRL friends which is totally unconnected to this username. So if you see anybody else out there going by Izanagi Urs, it isn't me. Please don't bother them. And to the second guy, you know who you are, my inbox is open if you want to ask me about shit or suggest ideas. Same goes for anybody. I don't plan this shit out very far in advance, so whatever you say may make it into the actual story if I like it enough.

Enough with me whining. Onto the chapter.

Chapter Thirteen: Off to See the Wizard

Well, this is not what I expected.

But then, what did I expect? Honestly, I never even thought about it. I suppose I thought I'd hike back to the school, get shuffled onto a team with a few other stragglers. Instead, I'm sitting here, in the headmaster's office. Locked in an impromptu staring match with the man. A match I'm handily winning, since the visor of my helmet conceals my wandering gaze.

The office is fairly impressive. A few too many gears though, honestly the whole thing reminds me of the innards of a Golden Age clocktower I've been in before. I'm not sure if they're functional, or decorative, but the distant sounds of grinding metal and the turning of axles are strangely pleasant. Probably makes great white noise too. It'd be hard to bug this place.

"So, Mr. Urs…" The headmaster begins, taking a sip of coffee. "I am headmaster Ozpin. Tell me, do you know why I've called you up here?"

"Hmm…" I cock my head to the side, dragging the moment out. Play dumb, and distract, there's a chance he might not know. "Aha!" Snapping my fingers, I point at him. "Is it the chlorine trifluoride? Or the hydrogen monoxide in the men's bathrooms?"

Ozpin pales for a moment. "You rigged a trap in the school?"

I roll my eyes. "Yes. Whenever you turn the taps in the men's bathroom, it gets all over your hands."

His gaze sharpens. "…Hydrogen monoxide. Also known as water."

I straighten up. "Right, that. Admit it though, I had you going for a moment."

Ozpin sighs. "Mr. Urs, this is not the time for jokes. You've deliberately attempted to harm other students during initiation. I'm sure you see why I cannot let that go unpunished."

I hum. Nothing about the transcripts? Is he building up to it, or did they miss it entirely? Time to rules lawyer a bit more, see if I can get him to play his hand. "Did I? Actually, were they technically even students of yours? They hadn't finished initiation yet. Besides, you didn't say I couldn't do that. As far as I remember, your only rules were eye contact and to bring back a relic. I never found somebody who didn't have a partner already, and I did bring back a relic."

"This… is true." Ozpin admits grudgingly. "However, it is my school, and I would be well within my rights to deny you admission on these grounds."

"Okay." I wave idly. A bit disappointing, but not unrecoverable. Still, he hasn't said it yet. "So, what's the verdict?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Do you not want to attend my school, Mr. Urs?"

I shrug. "Eh, I'm not sure. I'll be honest, I doubt there's much you could teach me about fighting. I'm more interested in the academic side of things, especially history."

"A regular scholar, I see." His tone drips suspicion and contempt. "We have many cameras throughout Beacon. They picked up your conversation with Ms. Xiao-Long last night." Reaching under the desk, he pulls out a set of papers. "Tell me, is it a coincidence that both you and your coworker Mr. Arc's transcripts came through just after the deadline for submission?"

"Must be." I lie. Okay, here we go. "They were sent beforehand, might have gotten stuck in the mail."

"Possible," Ozpin says. "If not for the fact that both are forgeries."

My eyes flick up to meet his. "Interesting," I say, leaning forwards. "So, what happens now? You didn't bring Jaune up here with me, so you're not about to give us both the boot, at least not over faked transcripts. What makes me so special?"

His eyes narrow. "…You also happened to go missing last night. Just as an intruder appeared on campus."

Shit. I've been made. This… is bad. Why didn't I think of this? Of course, they'd notice my absence, and I doubt the paper-thin excuse of being in the shower is going to cut it. I inject my voice with fake surprise. "An intruder on campus? Last night? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Enough games, Mr. Urs." Ozpin says, steepling his fingers atop the desk. "What were your plans, for the CCT last night?"

I pause for a moment, considering. You know what? Might as well tell him. It's so outlandish, I doubt he'll believe it anyway. And it'll buy me time to think of a plan. "Okay, you got me. Turns out I'm an immortal warlord from the ancient homeworld of mankind, here to reunite our race. Last night, my mission was to steal your communications protocols to ferry back to my spaceship, in advance of establishing formal communications."

"Well then, Mr. Urs, I believe we're done here." Ozpin sighs. "Due to your dishonesty and deliberate endangerment of other students, I hereby expel you from Beacon academy. Mrs. Goodwitch will collect your possessions and escort you to the docks, where a bullhead will ferry you back to Vale. I wish you luck in your future endeavors." Stamping my 'transcripts', he pushes the paper across his desk towards me.

Well, shit. The expulsion isn't so bad, but… agh. Fuck it. Let's get this train back on the rails. Instead of taking the offered paper, I stand up. I focus my senses inwards, past the Light, down to where the Darkness dwells. The last remnants of my struggle with the Winnower, my prize for his defeat during the Great Confrontation. Seizing hold of the Darkness, I drag it to the surface before channeling it into my hands, greenish-black energy surrounding them. With a snap of my fingers, I direct the power into Ozpin. Sitting back down, I watch as the corruption sets to work on the man.

Ozpin's face slackens, as his Aura flares and shatters. Hm. Looks like it exhausted itself trying to fight the corruption. The keyword being 'trying'. "No…" He whispers. "No, please, I…" Lurching backward, his chair tips over, sending the man crashing to the floor. Walking around the desk, I watch him spasm in pain, babbling madly.

"This is… not what I expected." I muse. When Oryx did it, he just sucked them into some pocket dimension, and presto! Instant Taken. Granted, I've never tried to take something before, but I don't think this how it's supposed to go. Perhaps I don't have enough power to fully bend the elder Huntsman to my will? How? In terms of raw paracasual force, I'm all but the most powerful being in the universe, how do I not have enough? Either I'm doing something wrong, and Ozpin here is a lot stronger than he lets on… or he's being protected by a much, much more powerful being.

"You could always ask me…" A deep voice whispers in my mind. "Brute force alone can only take you so far. I could help you… refine your power…"

'Not happening.' I think fiercely. Nope, nope, nope. Not making any deals with strange voices in my head, thank you very much.

"As you like it…"

Looking back to Ozpin, I can see his convulsions are slowly calming down. It seems like I've finally started to break through his resistance. Now, what should I have him do? I didn't manage to completely bend him to my will, so… I need to suggest something he would actually agree to. Maybe make him believe I told him the truth earlier… but the man would never agree to let me roam around freely... maybe have the staff keep an eye on me? Might work. Oh, look, the seizures have stopped.

I pick up the chair, lifting the older man into it, head resting against the back. Taking a knee, I force him to look at me, shaking him slightly when he tries to close his eyes. Need to keep his full attention for this to work.

"A good, solid blow will wake him up…" The voice hisses. Traveler, will this guy ever shut up?

Ozpin starts to drift off. "Look at me." I command, shaking him again. His eyes stop rolling around and focus sharply on me. "Good. Now, here's what's going to happen. You're feeling a bit tired right now, you fell asleep during our conversation. It was rather rude." I say, ignoring his echoing whispers. "You're not going to expel me from Beacon. There isn't enough evidence I was behind the break-in at the CCT. Instead, you're just going to have the faculty keep an eye on me. Understood?"

"Yes…" He moans.

I smile. "Excellent. Wake up, now." I say, quickly sitting back into the chair as I let the Darkness slip back into me, the voice finally falling silent.

Ozpin blinks, eyes refocusing as his gaze darts around the room. "I'm sorry." He says politely. "I've been feeling a bit under the weather recently, I must have fallen asleep. Now, where were we? Ah, yes. I was going to expel you, Mr. Urs, but since you've been truthful with me, I've decided to give you another chance. However, there are… complications."

"Like what, headmaster?" I ask, barely concealing my smirk. Got 'em. Might need to be more careful in the future, though. Ozpin here might be a special case, or the people in this world may just have an innate resistance to mind-fuckery. I doubt I can pass that off as a 'semblance', so I'll have to be a bit more discreet in the future. Still, I can think of a good test subject…

"Since you found no partner during your time in the Emerald Forest, and the twin of the relic your recovered was unfortunately destroyed in a… fire, you'll be on a team of one. You will be assigned your own dorm room, and you will unofficially work with team JSPR on assignments and projects that require multiple participants."

I bow my head. Even better than I expected. Couldn't say I was looking forward to being forced to share a room with a trio of idiot teenagers. Best of all, since I'm going to be alone, I won't even have to pretend to sleep there. "Is that all, headmaster?"

"Yes, however, you will be unable to participate in the upcoming Vytal festival later this year. And if Beacon requires the use of your dorm, you will be required to find room in Vale or with another team. You're dismissed." Ozpin says, turning back to his paperwork.

"Then have a good evening, headmaster." I say, walking back to the elevator. Not even ten seconds after the doors close, I sag against the wall. "Too damn close," I mutter. "I didn't realize he made me on that stunt last night. I'll have to be a lot more careful in the future."

Shouldering open the door; I take in my accommodations for the immediate future.

"Fuck no."

The place is a disaster. The furniture is a mess, dust coating every exposed surface. A normal human would probably choke to death if so much as a breeze passed through the room.

"I…" I trail off, looking around the room. By the Traveler, it would take hours just to take the place from 'transmat accident' to 'dirty, but livable'. "…Whatever." I mutter. "It's not like I need anything here."

Backing out into the hallway, I pull the door closed behind me. Time to track down Jaune, I lost track of the others when Goodwitch yanked me aside after returning to the school. Shifting my gaze over to the minimap, I begin running down the halls.

"Traveler, this place is massive." I groan as I jog down another useless corridor. Seriously, this place seems to have been built for… ten, maybe even twenty times the current number of students. Unused classrooms left and right, entire floors of empty dorms. It's insane. And all clearly purpose-built – whoever designed this place didn't reuse an older building; they intentionally made the school this Traveler-damn large.

Why? Was there some incredible demand for Hunters decades ago? Future-proofing in case there was an incredible demand for hunters? Some last-ditch evac point for the city? It just doesn't make sense. The operating costs alone must be insane. The Consensus would never agree to fund something like this, and for good reason. Why pay for miles of space you'll never use? It's the logic that led to them leaving entire districts of the City to rot when the population started to dwindle after Twilight Gap. Yet Beacon keeps these empty spaces open for business; lights on, heat running, and… if not clean, at least vermin-free.

"More to research," I grunt. "Now I really feel like I'm back in school."

Because that's going to be fun, isn't it? I know nothing about what is taught here, save for in the broadest and shallowest of senses. To be sure, I doubt I'll even have to try when it comes to… practical aspects, but theory and classwork will be hell even if I desperately want to learn as much about this world as possible. And while I've zero memories of ever attending a school, I know it's going to suck. Pointless homework and… studying. Eugh. The entire time, there'll be a thousand things back home that need my personal attention, while I'm here playing student.

It'll be worth it, though. It already has been, in fact. Under a week into this little expedition, and I've already got one new Guardian, with a second one in the works! And while I haven't gotten a chance to interact with many of the others close enough to tell, at least a few of them must have the Spark.

Speaking of… "Hey, Ruby!" I shout, trying to catch the girl's attention before she disappears. She's on Jaune's team, right? JSPR – Jaune Somebody Pyrrha Ruby. I think. She should know. "Where's Jaune at?"

"Hey, Izanagi! Jaune's down there." She says, pointing to a rather… damaged looking door further down the hallway. She makes a face. "Our dorm is a mess, looks like nobody's used it for ages. Jaune and Pyrrha are trying to clean it out."

"Yours too?" I ask. "The dust in mine is thicker than the carpet."

"How'd you get it clean so fast?" She asks.

"I didn't." I chuckle. "I'll see you later, got to talk to Jaune." I say, waving goodbye to the girl as I walk over to the door. Inside, I can hear somebody coughing their lungs out. Make that two somebodies. Pushing the door open, I recoil when a wave of dust hits me in the face. Inside, I can see Jaune and Pyrrha wheezing, holding cleaning rags in front of their mouths in a futile attempt to keep the airborne particles out.

"Traveler…" I sigh. Thankfully, I just changed the filters on this helmet. I'll probably need to again, after this. Reminds me of Luna, actually. The low gravity is fun, but the place is hell on sensitive equipment. Looks like Jaune's going to be busy for a while, and I don't particularly want to get roped into helping him clean his room.

"More exploring, then…" I say, turning around.

…straight into Yang. "Shit!" I curse, slamming a hand into a nearby wall to steady myself. Making a lovely new crater in the plaster, what luck. Yang is less fortunate, nearly toppling over before I grab her shoulder to steady her. "Why the hell were you standing behind me?" I ask.

"…Nothing. I mean, no reason." She says, stashing something behind her back.

I narrow my eyes. Fine then, let's scare her a bit. "Don't make me use my X-ray vision." I threaten. Too bad I don't actually have that – may need to look into it when I get back to Sol.

"Perv!" She shrieks, covering her chest. Shit, Traveler damn it – I really didn't think this one through. Of fucking course a woman would freak out at that, you moron.

"Crap, I didn't mean it like that!" I say quickly. Open mouth, insert foot. "I was just trying to see what you were hiding behind your back."

Yang stares at me flatly for a moment, before breaking down into giggles. "I'm just messing with you, Izanagi." She says. "If you were going to pull a stunt like that, I doubt you'd have the balls to announce it." She pauses, suddenly uncertain. "…Do you have X-ray vision?"

"Sadly, no." I say. "I could really use it, too. Not for that." I say, rolling my eyes at Yang's smirk. "But it seems like the kind of thing that could be useful from time to time – especially when I'm working with explosives or urban combat."

Yang frowns. "Do you… use bombs, a lot? I know you set that trap on the relics in initiation – don't you dare deny it!" She says heatedly. "I'm still a little ticked about that, you know."

"Hm," I grunt. "Fair enough. And yes, I use explosives quite often. It's… expensive, but it's efficient and I can afford it."

"What, are you some kinda mega-millionaire or something?" Yang laughs.

"Pretty much." I say.

She freezes. "Wait, what?"

I shrug. "Maybe not so much in the kingdoms here, but I'm one of the richest individuals in the city I'm from. After the Guardians got wiped out, I took control of all their assets and personal effects. Which was a lot."

"Damn," Yang says, a wide grin splitting her face. "We have got to go clubbing some time. I bet you can get us in anywhere, money like that."

"I can be rather persuasive when I want to be." I say, thinking back to my little 'interview' with the Headmaster. Still… eugh, alcohol. I'll pass, drinking with Junior was enough to last me a few thousand lives. "But let's hold off for a while, yeah? Got to let the rest of the team settle in."

"So, what's up with that?" Yang says. "Who'd you get placed with?"

"Ah, nobody, really." I say. "Turns out, one of the relics was… destroyed, for unknown reasons, and I never found a partner. So…"

"Wait, you get the whole room to yourself?" She asks incredulously. "Lucky. My teammates are nice but showering in the morning is going to be a pain with three other people."

"Maybe, but that means I'll have to clean up the fucking disaster zone of the room by myself too." I mutter.

"So… what are you going to do then?" She says.

"Not sure," I say. "I'll be honest, I don't really need anything from the dorms here. I don't have any possessions besides my weapons and armor, so it's not like I'll be keeping anything there."

"You're just going to sleep in that mess? Seems kinda gross, dude."

"I'll take care of it… eventually." I hedge. I won't, but they don't need to know that. "So, what are you up to? I figured you'd be helping your team with their dorm."

Yang shifts awkwardly, one hand toying with her hair. "Funny story about that…"

"…You're dodging them by talking to me." I deadpan.

"Yeah." She admits quietly. "So, we should probably go… somewhere else. Unless you want to get suckered into helping these guys clean." She says, gesturing towards the open doorway.

"Onwards, then." I say, heading down the hall. "The exit is this way, I think. Damn place is huge."

A/N: I know, it's short, and all talk. That, and the latter half of the chapter is pretty much the lead in to Yang vs. Izanagi, Electric Boogaloo. As an apology, I will try to upload the actual fight scene either Wednesday or Thursday, since I'll actually get a bit of time off. This will be an exception to the rule, otherwise I'm going to try to stick to once-a-week updates to keep from burning out.