As promised, Fushimi started to come clean about everything, starting from the very beginning, or at least the point that he could remember. With his arm securely around Yata, he spoke to the other without breaking any kind of eye contact, and while keeping a straight face.
"It all started Sophomore year...the year I had to end everything with you. The Pink Clan had just started making themselves known around that time. Slowly people were starting to disappear without any kind of trace, people who were slowly losing their grip on their sanity, or who had been emotionally damaged. I ended up being one of their targets, but I refused to join them. Once I refused, everything around me had gone dark. I don't fully know what they did to me still but I know ever since that day I've been their main target and they had been looking for ways to get to me. According to Munakata, they did something to my head that was triggering my sanity to slip, but not only that, they ended up discovering what was most important to me. I knew what they had discovered the moment I had been told, which meant I had to do the very thing I did not want to do. I had to separate myself from you…" Fushimi sighed quietly, his grasp on Yata only tightened slightly. Talking about this was more painful than he originally thought it would be.
"What the hell are you talking about…? You had to separate yourself from me?" Yata's confusion only worsened. Fushimi didn't expect him to get it right away, but that was fine. They had plenty of time.
"That's right, and I knew how stubborn you were. It wasn't going to be easy to get you to stay away from me...so I had to take desperate measures. I was going to leave Homra regardless of what happened, so I ended up using it to my advantage. I knew how much pride you had in that damn clan, how much respect you had for that lazy ass king...so I used all of that to hurt you to the point where you would hate me. However, I didn't expect you to take the turn you did. I expected you to use what I did as a fuel for hatred toward me, but instead you crumbled, you broke down and let everything get to you. I thought that what I did had ended up working, if they knew how much I had hurt you then maybe they'd end up leaving you alone or something, but it turns out they were just waiting for the right moment. The moment where you were at your weakest point so you would be easier to apprehend. However, they didn't expect me to continue to watch you from a distance." Shaking his head slightly, Fushimi had paused once again to allow Yata time to catch up.
"Saruhiko, if everything you're telling me is true then why did you go so far? Why did you have to hurt me that badly when you could have just told me what was going on?" Yata clenched his own fists. He still couldn't tell if Fushimi was actually telling the truth or not. He didn't know what to believe at this point.
"I couldn't tell you. It was too dangerous, that was why I had to do what I did. I told you, I was hoping that would turn into fueled hatred but instead you ended up spirling into a pit of depression… I wanted you to hate me because…" He didn't know if he could actually say his next couple of words. The main reason he wanted Yata to hate him was for a pretty selfish reason, but he had already come this far so there was no point in keeping it a secret.
"Because…?" Yata asked after Fushimi had been silent for several minutes. Their conversation had already come this far, it would be pointless to stop now, especially when he was finally getting some kind of answers out of the raven.
"...I want you to be the one to kill me if I ever get captured by that Pink Clan… I'd rather die by your hand than have to live my life as some mindless puppet, but I also know that asking such a thing of you is beyond selfish, that's why I kept my distance for so long. I thought that if I did that, they would leave you alone and I could continue to avoid them, then the day would never come…" Fushimi finally looked away from Yata's face, his gaze falling to the sheets that covered them. "I don't know how much longer I can keep running from them… They're going to succeed in catching me eventually, with or without you in their possession. Each day that passes, my sanity slowly slips away, giving them more to work with. I wish I would have told you about this sooner, maybe then it wouldn't be so hopeless...but I guess now is better than not at all. So Misaki…" Once again Fushimi paused, only to once again meet Yata's gaze. "Can I count on you to be the one to kill me if the time comes?"
That request...as much as Yata hated Fushimi for causing him so much pain in the past, he could never bring himself to fully hate the boy beside him. Deep down he knew Fushimi wouldn't have done any of this without a damn good reason, but to find out all this information with the possibility of such little time left… Yata honestly didn't know how to process this. If the time ever came, could he really be the one to end Fushimi's life? Or would his heart get the best of him…? The very thought of being the one to end Fushimi's life, it caused his chest to ache slightly.
"Misaki." Fushimi's gentle voice hit Yata's ears, causing the omega to snap himself out of his thoughts. He must have been silent for longer than he originally thought. That must have shown the raven just how unsure he was.
"I know it's a heavy burden to put on your shoulders, but you're the one I want to lose my life to if I ever have to die. You were my best friend...you practically forced your way into my life, put all your trust in me, only to have me turn around and break you down...but the entire time we were separated, I never stopped thinking about you." A small smile formed on the alpha male's face as he brought a hand up to gently rest it against Yata's cheek. "Seeing you again three months ago, feeling that hatred toward me...it did hurt but it was what I asked for. Now I'm asking such a selfish thing from you because your hand is the only one I would ever want to die by."
"Saruhiko… I don't know if I can actually kill you if I ever had to… After our last encounter, everything has just been completely unclear and even after you told me all of this...how do I know you're not lying to me?" Yata had every reason to be skeptical about the information Fushimi had told him. This guy had given the omega no reason to trust him, even if Fushimi had been the one to save his life more than once. Everything was so sudden, so confusing. As much as Yata wanted to believe that Fushimi was telling him the truth, he found that he couldn't wrap his head around it all.
"I had a feeling you would be hesitant to believe me, and that's completely fine. I haven't done anything to earn your trust. You have every right to hesitate to believe me, but I swear to you I'm not lying. Everything I explained to you is true. They've been after me ever since Sophomore year, and I separated myself from you to keep them from using you as any form of blackmail. I had no idea if they would hurt you or not if they ever did capture you...and I know I wouldn't be able to save you from them. They'd probably use me against you, which is something I want to avoid. Misaki, I'm begging you…" Fushimi clenched his fist tightly before he decided to pull the smaller boy to his chest, holding him rather tightly. "Please be the one to set me free if they ever get a hold of me… Pierce me right through the heart…"
At this point, Yata was at a loss. He didn't pull himself away when Fushimi pulled him closer, instead he pressed himself against the raven, burying his face into the other's slightly exposed chest. He had noticed his clothes had been replaced with a white colored robe, meaning Fushimi must have changed his clothes for him. Normally the very thought of that would have pissed him off, but in that moment he could honestly care less. For the first time in so long, Yata felt like he was in the presence of the Saruhiko he once knew. The one who wouldn't even dream of hurting him, who only wanted to protect him. It was at that moment, Yata found himself missing the old days when he would always cling on Fushimi. The two of them had been inseparable for the longest time, only to have all of this happen. He knew after tonight, the two of them would probably be separated again for who knows how long. After several minutes of silence, Yata finally lifted his head so he could look Fushimi in the eyes. To his surprise, they didn't look as cold as they normally did. Instead, they looked rather gentle, filled with concern, maybe even a bit of sadness.
"Saruhiko…" Yata spoke softly as he brought his hand up to gently rest it against one of the raven's cheeks. His other hand slid under the open part of the robe, only to rest against a certain burn mark that scratched out the Homra insignia that was once proudly displayed on the other. They had them on the same side, in the exact same place. The two of them had decided to do that as a sign of their friendship, only to have Fushimi burn the mark right before his very eyes. Remembering that caused the smaller male's chest to ache slightly, but not nearly as bad as being asked to be the one to end Fushimi's life if the time ever came.
"Misaki…" Fushimi sighed quietly, making the bold move to pull Yata into his lap. Now the omega sat with a leg on each side of the raven, in a straddling position. Yata couldn't stop his cheeks from turning a dark shade of red, knowing that the only thing separating them were the robes the two of them had been wearing.
"Right now...I don't want to think about any of that. I don't want to think about the past, I don't want to think about your request… I just want to enjoy this moment. Right now, I feel like I'm in the presence of the you I remember, the one I never wanted to be separated from. Even if it's all a lie, even if it's just a sweet nightmare…" Yata's voice had started to crack slightly. He could feel his eyes starting to burn, causing him to quickly look downward. He didn't want to cry in front of Fushimi, but at this rate he wouldn't be able to hold himself back.
"I think that's something we can manage, my dear Misaki. There's no need to start crying on me now." Fushimi smiled gently, bringing a hand up to grasp onto the omega's chin. He slowly brought the other's face up so that they were once again looking each other in the eyes. Sure enough, Yata had a few tears running down his cheeks, but the raven used his other hand to quickly wipe the tears away. Seeing Yata starting to cry caused his own chest to start to ache. It made him realize just how much he had damaged the other, damage he was sure couldn't be repaired. Sighing softly, Fushimi leaned his face a bit closer, stopping when the two of them were only inches apart.
"Tonight will just be the two of us. No thinking about the past, or what the future may hold for us. I will make sure this night will be at least one good memory you can have with me. How does that sound?" Fushimi's tone was about as gentle as the look in his eyes, a look Yata hadn't seen in so very long. It felt like a relief to see that familiar look once again.
"That...sounds really nice…" Yata's voice was just barely above a whisper. His body was slowly starting to tremble in Fushimi's hold. He was scared, that much he knew but he also knew he didn't want to pull himself away from the alpha male. Instead, he leaned himself closer and lightly brushed his lips against the raven's.
"I promise you won't regret this night, Misaki." Fushimi smiled one last time before he finally closed the gap between the two of them.
~~I'm wondering why do all the monsters come out at night?
Why do we sleep where we want to hide?
Why do I run back to you, like I don't mind if you fuck up my life?~~
Hey all! Chapter Thirteen is finally finished! I'm sure you can tell by the way this chapter left off, but next chapter is going to be a Lemon chapter, meaning it will probably take me a little more time to get it finished. Smutty chapters tend to take me a bit longer to do, and for that I do apologize, but I promise to get it done as soon as possible! Honestly, I got so many feels writing this chapter T-T The feels were definitely strong here. Anyways, thank you so much for reading and I'll do my best to update again as soon as possible! See you guys next time!
~~MaskedNinja