Chapter 17: A New Face
Sorry for dipping out for a little bit with this chapter, everyone! I had a lot of ways that I could've gone with this chapter, and I was having a hard time picking which way to take the plot. As you can imagine, I had to revise my drafts quite a bit. Also, my mounting college course work didn't help with my timing either. Hopefully the quality of this chapter makes up for my absence!
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A few days later…
"So yeah, I'll take three apple pies, six pound cakes, and uh… four cheese tarts, please. I need them for a picnic," Sylvain ordered at the food counter. The Dining Hall worker on the other hand looked at him blankly.
"You're going to end up fat," the cook bluntly stated.
Sylvain furrowed his brow. "First of all, rude. Secondly it isn't all for me, I have a date who likes this stuff."
"I didn't take Sylvain Gautier as someone who liked heavy women," the food worker then unhelpfully added.
"And I didn't ask for your opinion," spat Sylvain. "Just go get my damn food."
At that, the person behind the counter made their way out from behind the serving counter and into the large larder located behind it, presumably to fetch all the pastries that Sylvain had requested.
"Asshole…" Sylvain muttered under his breath. When did the dining staff get so rude? They never were that bad when he had initially arrived at the Officer's Academy. Something must've really soured all of them towards their jobs as of late. Although Sylvain couldn't imagine what could cause that. After all, the entire dining staff were experienced in their fields. They had to be, if they were going to cook for nobility. This kind of conduct was extremely unprofessional. It only stood to reason that something drastic had to happen to cause this sudden shift.
Sylvain was suddenly shaken out of his thinking by a rapidly approaching overpowering odor. It was amazing how the place could suddenly start to reek out of nowhere. Upon turning his head towards where the smell was coming from, Sylvain suddenly understood completely the cause of the stench.
It was Professor Byleth, who was hauling in a large bucket full of raw fish. Alongside him was a girl with bright green hair, who was carrying a smaller bucket of fish on her own. There was something oddly hilarious about the scene, with such a cute-faced girl and a stone-faced man being completely oblivious to the smell of the dead fish they were both carrying. But, considering how much of a weird guy Professor Byleth was, the odd scene might as well have been routine for someone like him. It wasn't the first time he hauled raw, unprepared fish into the Dining Hall for them to be cooked to his liking.
Completely oblivious to the smell, Professor Byleth walked up beside Sylvain. "Hello, Sylvain," he flatly greeted.
Sylvain made sure to plug his nose before he responded. "Hey there, professor. Uh, catch of the day, I take it?" he asked, gesturing to the fish.
Byleth nodded as he dumped the contents of his large bucket onto the counter. Even though Sylvain couldn't smell it, the odor was so strong that he could taste it in his mouth. That was arguably even worse than just taking in the scent. Because of that, Sylvain couldn't help but cough at the unpleasant sensory experience.
"Flayn has been helping me fish today," Professor Byleth further explained. "She's quite the helper." He then gestured to the girl with green hair, who merely settled for placing her own fish bucket on the counter.
"Oh right, Flayn is that girl," Sylvain confirmed in his head. He had never really had any reason to interact with her much. At most, he had just seen her wandering around the monastery on occasion, and maybe traded a few words here and there when passing by each other in the hall. The primary reason for that was because the rumor-mill had it that Seteth was rather… over-protective of his baby sister. Sylvain knew better than to try and make a serious move on someone related to Seteth. It was one of those obvious rules of the world, like learning to never put a hand on a hot stove. Or, as one weird phrase he'd heard before went, "Don't pet a burning dog."
Still, that didn't stop him from at least trying to be civil in a totally non-seductive way. Sylvain extended out a hand to shake and stepped over towards Flayn. "Hey there, Flayn—"
"Now just a moment, Sylvain," interrupted Flayn. Sylvain stopped in his tracks at that. "If you must speak with me, I implore you to do so from where you stand. My apologies if this comes across as rude, but please do not come any closer to me."
Sylvain arched an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
Flayn frowned slightly on her part. "I am sorry— my brother has explicitly warned me not to go near you."
Sighing, Sylvain ran a hand through his curly locks of hair. "Seteth said that? I bet he also told you any woman who comes too close to me is... How does he say it? Doomed to misfortune."
"He used those very words! Is it true, then?" asked Flayn.
Sylvain couldn't help but groan to himself. This introduction was a disaster already. "Come on. He's just messing with you, obviously."
"Of course I would prefer to believe that, but no one can never know for certain," shrugged Flayn. "Particularly when similar stories are constantly in circulation about you. I have heard that men and women alike have been seduced by your nefarious ways."
The 'men' part of Flayn's statement made Sylvain bury his face into the palm of one of his hands. Where did that rumor even come from? The seducing women part of it was accurate, at least. But Sylvain for the life of him couldn't remember seducing any men. Granted, there were some rather androgynous-looking people in the rank and file students of the Officer's Academy. It was entirely possible that at least one of those he had talked to in the past was indeed of the male persuasion.
Thankfully, or rather unthankfully, Professor Byleth decided to cut in at that part. "So what if Sylvain enjoys seducing men?"
"Professor, please, you don't need to—" Sylvain pleaded.
"In my experience, men can be just as comforting as any woman. Same goes for the softness of their skin. They're rather comparable," added Byleth.
Strangely enough, the look on Flayn's face showed that she was utterly enraptured by why had Professor Byleth had to say. "Oh my, is that true? How did you figure that out, Professor?"
On his part, Byleth began to sort through the fish on the counter as he talked, either unaware or uncaring of how bizarre the scene he was creating appeared to be. "In my experience as a mercenary, camp followers only came around ever so often. For that reason, sometimes someone you trust within the company is more than suitable to take care of what you need, regardless of gender."
Sylvain was absolutely mortified. Professor Byleth truly had zero shame. If anything, Byleth was being more shameless than Sylvain's public persona ever was. This conversation needed to be stopped before the poor Gautier heir would kill himself just to escape it. "Heeeyyyyyyyy, so, these fish, right?" he suddenly interjected.
Professor Byleth paused for a moment, as if he was mentally switching gears. "Yes, we have an impressive array of fish today. Speaking of, where is the dining staff? I want them to cook all these."
Now that Professor Byleth had mentioned it, Sylvain wasn't seeing any of the dining staff either, even the ones that were cooking behind the counter when he ordered all those pastries. It seemed as if they all vanished as soon as Professor Byleth entered the Dining Hall. Considering how the entire counter was covered in dead fish, Sylvain supposed he couldn't blame them. If anything, it certainly explained why all of them were in rather surly moods as of late.
"I do believe that they have been scared off, Professor," observed Flayn.
Byleth hummed as he thought for a moment. "Odd. Well, if we just leave the fish here, I'm sure the staff will get around to cooking it for us."
It never ceased to amaze Sylvain at how utterly clueless the Professor could be sometimes. This seriously was the man that so expertly led a bunch of students into battle not too long ago?
Sylvain was shaken out of that disbelief by Professor Byleth then addressing him directly. "What are you doing in the meantime, Sylvain? Perhaps we can spend some time with you while we wait."
Sylvain scratched the back of his head. "Well, I was just going to hang out with a female friend of mine—"
"Bernadetta, right?" bluntly asked Byleth.
In an instant, Sylvain had clamped a hand over Byleth's mouth before he could say anything further. "Where did you hear that?" he hissed.
"Iwf herf ef fwom thwe gwrl lyfwn n myf heff," was Byleth's muffled reply.
It suddenly occurred to Sylvain that Professor Byleth couldn't talk clearly with a hand covering his face. He took away his hand at that realization. "Say again?"
"I've heard it from the girl living in my head," clarified Professor Byleth.
Sylvain frowned. "Come on, man. Don't joke with me."
Byleth shrugged. "It's true. She's quite like a goblin or gremlin, even if she looks like a prepubescent girl."
Only Byleth heard the loud "Hey!" in protest to that statement.
Sylvain threw up his hands into the air in frustration. "Fine, don't tell me. But seriously, Professor, don't go saying that stuff out loud!"
"Are you seducing her as well?" asked Flayn. For the first time in his life, Sylvain heard that question without a hint of disgust or malice. Flayn looked and sounded legitimately curious about it.
"No, no! Bernie is a friend! Is it not possible for a guy to be friends with a girl?" denied Sylvain.
"Well, considering your reputation, I would certainly think so for you," Flayn honestly answered.
Sylvain groaned. "Thanks for the vote of confidence…"
"In any case," butted-in Professor Byleth, "we have plenty of free time, and I feel that it would be for the best for Flayn to get to know the students here at the academy better. Do what the youths call 'mingling'."
"Professor Byleth, everyone calls it that. And you're in your twenties, you're hardly an old man," Sylvain exasperatedly highlighted. If it wasn't annoying to deal with, Professor Byleth's complete lack of social grace would be something amazing to behold.
Byleth shrugged. "The point still stands."
"What's gotten you so interested in introducing Flayn to people, anyway? I'm pretty sure she's not in the Golden Deer," Sylvain pointed out.
"I've been told that I've been an 'unconventional' teacher. This is good practice to be a conventional one, as far as I can tell," replied Byleth. The professor made sure to add heavy air quotes to the word 'unconventional'.
Sylvain couldn't exactly argue with the notion that Professor Byleth was a weird teacher. But that was hardly anything new, from what he could tell from the other Officer's Academy staff. Manuela constantly reeked of perfume and booze and more than once had to have monastery guards wake her up after her long nights out. And then there was Jeritza too, who constantly wore a mask that covered half of his face for some reason, and was really into dueling. Just about the normal thing about him was his hair, a modest dull blonde ponytail. It reminded Sylvain of Mercedes' hair, in a way. But all of that was a bit beside the point.
"Yeah, I can see why they said that," observed Sylvain. It felt nice to be the one saying a blunt statement for once.
On his part, Professor Byleth just cut to the point. "So, can we spend some quality time as teacher and student together along with Flayn, or not?"
"That's a weird way of putting it. And the answer is no. Sorry, professor," was Sylvain's answer. There was no doubt in Sylvain's mind that seeing Professor Byleth suddenly at her door would send Bernie into another one of her paranoid fits.
"Would you at least mind taking Flayn with you, then? Maybe you three can become a trio of friendly, non-sexually active students willing to spend time together," was Professor Byleth's next bargain.
"Will you just stop putting things so weirdly?" Sylvain groaned.
"I do like Professor Byleth's proposal," Flayn ever so helpfully stated.
"I'll stop if you take her with you," said Byleth.
"Urggh, fine!" Sylvain agreed through gritted teeth. "Just stop talking, for the sake of the Goddess."
Only Blyeth heard an additional voice say, "Yes, please do stop for everyone's sakes."
"Ohh, this will be most exciting!" Flayn cheered.
Sylvain, on the other hand, was not so openly enthused. He had basically gotten browbeaten into taking the sister of Seteth around for some kind of friendship experience. If Seteth ever found out about this, then Sylvain's life would undoubtedly be forfeit. And that wasn't to mention the inevitable issues that would arise with him bringing along an uninvited guest to his normal hang-out with Bernadetta. But he had been looking forward to reading more of Bernie's story, so there was no way he was going to miss out on that. And at least Flayn seemed like nice enough of a girl, if a bit spacey. Perhaps her incredibly friendly demeanor would make it so that Bernie wouldn't assume Flayn to be some rogue or assassin out for her life. That was the hope, at least.
With a resigned sigh, Sylvain focused his attention on Flayn. "Well, shall we go then? I was planning on leaving shortly when you and Professor Byleth showed up anyway."
Flayn nodded eagerly. "As long as we're back by the time all the fish get cooked."
Sylvain took a quick look over at the pile of fish on the serving counter. Indeed, it certainly hadn't gotten smaller since Professor Byleth dumped the contents of his fishing bucket on the counter.
"From the looks of it, it'll be a while before that happens," observed Sylvain.
"That reminds me, the cooking staff still hasn't shown their faces behind the counter," said Byleth, looking up from the pile of dead fish. Then cupping his hands around his mouth, he yelled, "I WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO COOK ALL THESE FISH FOR ME, PLEASE."
Sylvain visibly cringed in second-hand embarrassment. "And I think that's our cue to go."
At that, Sylvain waved for Flayn to follow him, and started to make his way out of the back door of the Dining Hall. From the lack of anything he heard behind him as he left, Sylvain assumed that the cooking staff hadn't bothered to come out of hiding at Byleth's call. Not that he would blame them. Still, it was a shame that he wasn't able to bring a bunch of sweet treats for his regular visit to Bernie. Flayn simply had to suffice for a substitute, for as much good as she would hopefully do.
All in all, the past few minutes were quite the miserable experience for Sylvain.
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Byleth was really bringing out the chaotic bisexual energy in this chapter. But honestly, it's nice to write for a canonical bisexual guy. I'll always appreciate some positive representation, even if Byleth is still a huge weirdo. But at least the weirdness isn't due to his sexual preferences, it's due to him being socially inept. Also, I hope you like me bringing Flayn into the story now! I'm sure some of you have noticed that some of her dialogue is a shortened version of her C-level support with Sylvain. I do like using canon dialogue whenever I can.
Anyways, this has been The Draigg, and I'm signing off on this chapter for now!