Sorry for the delay on this chapter.

Thank you for bearing with me during this hard time. I'll address how I'm feeling and all of that at the end of the chapter.

Until then,

Enjoy.

March 20th, 2020

As it turned out, COVID-19 caused more complications than the entire world expected. Ever since last month, it felt like the entire world stopped; stopped working, stopped moving, stopped turning.

It was like everyone on the planet had collectively taken a deep breath, and was now holding it in.

Everything closed. Every mall, every restaurant, nearly every grocery store, and every business that wasn't essential, and it put everyone who worked in those businesses out of a job, including Seraphine and me.

Xayah and Rakan texted every employee as soon as news of the lockdown became public that the Vastaya would be closed until further notice. While I was initially worried about whether or not the Vastaya would open again, they assured us that they would survive the lockdown. After all, it was a successful business. And the decision to move into a smaller building paid off apparently.

And that wasn't even the kicker.

When UCLA closed and moved all of its courses online, I knew just how bad the virus was. They were even going so far as to kick people out of their dorms, which was unheard of because of how much those students were paying to live on campus.

Part of me understood why the college chose to do that. It was for safety, for the sake of public health and security. But another part of me was infuriated. Those students were paying to live on campus, and the fact that UCLA just kicked them out like a tenant with an overdue bill was trashy. More than that, I was angry because I still needed to pay the full-price for a class when it was going to be entirely through the internet, an inexcusably cheaper learning platform than in-person classes.

But there wasn't much I could do about it.

At the end of the day, the Board of Directors called the shots. And I was fairly certain that even if the entire student body sent them angry letters, they still wouldn't change a damn thing.

I let out a frustrated sigh, and Seraphine looked up from her notebook, her head tilted slightly to the side and her pink hair cocooned in a large towel turban. "Something wrong?" She asked.

"Just thinking about how stupid online classes are," I explained, deciding to spare her from my exhausting train of thought.

"Do you think we'll even be able to have a real graduation this year?" Sera asked, glancing back down at her notebook. "It... It would really suck if we didn't have one."

"I sure as hell hope we have one." I clicked my tongue.

Ever since we were forced to stay home, Sera and I have been calling on a consistent basis. Nearly every day, actually.

On the contrary, I hadn't gotten the chance to talk to Lux as much as I wanted to. With school and extracurriculars starting to pick up for her, I think the last thing she needed was me constantly bothering her with messages. I figured letting her initiate the conversation would be best.

It wasn't like I had all the free time in the world either. Online classes were proving more difficult than in-person classes, and between that and working on the EP, helping Eunkyung study, and looking for work wherever and whenever I could. The stimulus checks and our savings would momentarily block the tidal wave of bills that were piling up, but once those ran dry, then I'd have a lot more to worry about than just school and music.

"Jae?"

"Sorry," I replied. "A lot on my mind."

She set down her pencil. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

I shrugged. "I mean it's nothing substantial. I just need to focus more."

Sera raised a brow. "..Focus… more?"

"Apply myself more, I mean."

She hummed. "I see."

"Sorry, that didn't clear it up at all." I chuckled. "I'm worried about finances. It's hard to pay for bills with no job, after all."

"Yeah." Sera nodded. "The stimulus checks aren't helping much, are they?"

I shrugged. "Sorta. Worst comes to worst, I'll have to look for another job while the Vastaya is closed. But… God, we've been so good at staying out of debt, and now this pandemic is going to wring us back into that hole."

"I'm sorry," Sera murmured. "I feel bad that there isn't much I can do."

I shook my head. "Don't feel bad for that. We'll pull through."

She grinned, her eyes shining. "Yeah. You've done it before, you'll do it again!"

"So," I began, deciding to move back to the topic at hand. "The EP. Have you made any progress on your songs?"

Sera rubbed the back of her neck. "Sort of. It's weird, even with all of this free time, writing songs for the EP is still a challenge."

"Yeah."

Ever since we started the EP, Seraphine and I have somewhat made progress over the course of the month. ANGEL would have eleven tracks total, four solo songs for Seraphine and I, and three duet songs. But past that, we had virtually nothing. Nothing written. Nothing composed or produced.

The EP was a blank canvas.

Seraphine spoke up. "There's… there's actually two songs I wanted to cover."

That piqued my interest. "Oh? What songs?"

"ARY's Childhood Dreams and K/DA's POP/STARS."

"Interesting decisions," I said.

"I mean, the songs don't exactly fit in the standard context of the EP's concept, but in many ways, my dreams and K/DA are my angels," she reasoned soundly. "And I don't mean that I obsess over K/DA, or that I'm in love with them or whatever, but that they inspire me to do my best, to be the best singer that I can be. Does that make sense?"

I thought about it for a bit, then nodded. "Yeah, it does."

"Wait, really?"

"Yes?" I tilted my head. "Was I supposed to say no?"

"No, no," she protested. "I'm just a little surprised."

"Why?"

"I don't know." She glanced to the side. "It's stupid. I thought you would straight up shoot me down or something if I asked."

"If this was an assignment, I probably would have shot you down. But we're making this EP for ourselves," I replied. "If we aren't happy with the end product, then we didn't really succeed, right?"

"Mmhm."

"I think covering those songs would be great." I couldn't stop the smirk that appeared on my lips. "On two conditions."

"...Which are?"

"That I produce entirely new instrumentals for those songs."

Seraphine grinned, and winked at me. "Sounds good, Producer."

I rolled my eyes. "Please don't start calling me that. It makes me feel like I'm not even your friend."

"Alright, alright. Jae it is." She giggled. "And the other condition?"

"That I get to cover a Gallant song."

Seraphine laughed. "I don't even know why you had to ask me that." She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the surface of her desk. "Do you know which song you want to sing?"

"I… I have an idea," I said with a smile.

She rolled her neck and raised her hands over her head for a stretch. "Alrighty then. Let's get to work," Sera beamed.

[;]

"We eventually need to decide on those duets," Seraphine said. She stood just out of the frame of her laptop camera. The wire of her headphone dangled off of the desk, jiggling slightly as she adjusted her headphones. She had her microphone stand positioned in front of the isolation shield that I'd recently given to her, the large black soundpads blocking most of her face from view.

The question had caught me entirely off guard. "I…"

An index finger jutted out from the side of the isolation shield. "Hold on, I'm gonna record for Childhood Dreams." The music started, and I could tell from the jiggling headphone wire that Sera was dancing behind the soundpads.

"Right."

That's why you're writing again, isn't it? To find the right words.

I let out a humorless breath.

What are the right words, Noona?

The thought to ask her crossed my mind, before I pushed it aside. This was something I needed to figure out myself. Because if I asked Eunkyung for help, then it wouldn't be as genuine as it should be. But even after spending a month writing and erasing and deleting and rewriting and re-deleting nearly every idea or lyric that I brainstormed about love … I still couldn't find the right words.

I knew how I felt. I knew what I felt. At least, I think I did.

Seraphine made me happy. She made me laugh, she brightened my day. Every moment that I spent with her was amazing.

That's… what love was, right?

All of those feelings? All of what I was feeling?

"Jae?" Sera asked, pulling me out of my thoughts and back into reality. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just trying to think of how I want those duets to sound."

"There's no rush, y'know? Like you said earlier: this EP is for us. Not for anyone else. If we're not happy with the end product…"

"Then we didn't really succeed," I finished. I ran a hand through my hair. "Alright. I'll give it some more thought later tonight, I guess." Glancing at the time, I stood up and stretched. "Eunkyung is gonna be home soon. I'm gonna go and make dinner, Ser."

"Alrighty," she bubbled.

"I'll call you at the same time as usual?"

"Mmhm!" She smiled. "I should be done with homework by then."

"Sounds good." I waved at the camera, leaning over my desk and moving my mouse over the 'end call' button. "Bye."

Sera waved back with a grin. "Bye."

[;]

Seraphine's text pinged my phone, and Eunkyung glanced up from her plate with a raised brow. "Sera?"

I nodded.

"You two have been talking to each other pretty consistently over the last couple of days," she commented.

"Is that problematic?"

She shook her head. "Just pointing it out. No need to get defensive."

"I wasn't getting—"

"Have you found a way to voice your feelings yet?"

"I…" I trailed off, feeling my palms grow sweaty. I interlaced my hands and touched the tips of my index fingers and thumbs together. "I haven't."

"You know, if you keep waiting, someone's going to steal her away from you, Jae."

"Th— that won't happen," I weakly protested.

Eunkyung raised a brow. "Are you so sure? She's a very attractive person. Not to mention she's talented, intelligent, and bright. That kind of person doesn't come around very often. I doubt it's going to be long before she finds a partner."

"Then she'll find one. And I guess I'll keep being her friend," I said.

"You guess?"

I shrugged. "I don't have much of a choice, right? If they make her happy, then I should be happy for her. That's what you told me."

"What?"

"To not act on it," I replied. "So here I am. Not acting on it."

"Jae. Can I just speak honestly for a moment?"

"Mmh."

"My intention for that piece of advice wasn't for you to follow it. I... I wanted you to not do what I did. I wanted you to not follow me. Because what I did to myself, to my relationship with Caitlyn, was my fault."

"But you—"

Eunkyung placed a hand on her chest. "I'm not perfect. You know that. Which is why I want you to learn from my mistakes."

"But I don't even know how I feel," I argued. "How am I supposed to learn anything about being in- I mean, about love."

"You'll figure it out, Jae. I'm not worried about you. Or rather, I'm not too worried about you." She smiled slyly. "After all, I wouldn't be a very good older sister if I didn't worry about you, right?"

I rolled my eyes. As jokingly as she said it, I knew that Eunkyung meant every word. And that was more than comforting for me. "When did you know?" I asked.

"Know what?"

"That you loved her."

Eunkyung smiled softly. "When she walked away."

[;]

"Do you think we'll still be friends ten years from now?" Seraphine asked. The sound of her voice cracked slightly from the speakers of my phone.

"I think so," I replied. "Why? Do you not want to be?"

"I— I never said that," she sputtered. "It was just a question, y'know?"

I laughed. "Relax. I'm just teasing."

"Sure…" She giggled, which was followed by some shuffling as Sera moved around on her bed. "I think," she began, her voice sounding much closer and clearer than before, "that I'd be really lost if we weren't friends."

"You think so?"

"I know so," she replied. "I mean, I've changed so much in these couple months, and it's all thanks to you."

"I wouldn't say it was all thanks to me."

She giggled. "Okay, okay. A large part of it was thanks to you."

"Mmm… Alright, I'll allow myself that much credit."

I could hear her eyes roll from over the phone.

It was several long moments of silence before Seraphine spoke up out of the blue.

"Y'know," she said. "Heh, this is gonna sound so weird."

"I'm sure you've said weirder things."

"I don't know if that's supposed to be an insult…"

"It can be whatever you want it to be."

"Compliment it is," Sera replied. "Anyways, I was gonna say that these calls have been a ton of fun. And that we should keep doing them."

"I had no intention of stopping."

Sera hummed. "Good."

"Worried?"

"Should I not be? Thinking about leaving me anytime soon?"

"Leaving you?" I repeated.

"Y— you know what I mean."

"Don't think I do."

"…Jae."

"Really, I don't have an idea."

Seraphine groaned. "Stop lying to me, Jae. You know exactly what I mean."

"I don't. That's why I'm asking."

She fell silent. I figured she was trying to find the correct phrasing.

"Leaving our relationship," she finally murmured, her phone barely picking up the words because of how softly she uttered them. "Our friendship. And— and whatever else this is."

"'Whatever else?'"

"I…" Sera trailed off. "Forget I said that, alright?"

"…Okay."

"Thank you," she breathed. Sera clicked her tongue. "You made that a lot harder than it needed to be."

"Sorry, sorry. I was just a little confused. But I guess that cleared it up a little."

"You guess? What happened to all of that confidence at the end of February?"

"About?"

"Falling in love, Jae. Having fallen in love. Being in love," she breathed.

"That wasn't really confidence."

"Then what was it?"

"Hope? Belief?" I replied. "I'm not really sure."

Seraphine scoffed. "You believe that you're in love?"

"I think." I chuckled slightly. "I've never experienced it, so its hard to say."

"Then wh— why did you look at me when you said it?" Seraphine murmured.

"That's…"

"That's what?"

"A difficult question to answer." I let out a small breath.

"Why?"

I pursed my lips to keep the words trapped inside. But without warning, like water bursting through a dam, they came flooding out from me. "I think you can figure out why, Ser."

"You…" Sera fell silent. And then a sharp inhale followed by a rapid shuffling of the sheets resounded from the speakers on my phone. "You lo—"

"Please," I interjected. "Don't."

Seraphine jumped up and pressed her mouth against her phone. "Don't what? Don't say it? Why? Why not? Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I…" I sighed. I could feel my hands shaking, my throat closing, and my heart beating against my chest. "I don't know. I— I just— I just don't know , Ser. I don't want to say it, and I don't want you to say it because I don't know."

"But you won't know until you try, right?" She argued.

"And how do you feel?"

"How do I feel?"

"Yeah."

"I…" She trailed off, falling silent as she carefully considered her words. "I'm not really sure myself, honestly."

"Then why are you sure about how you feel, Ser?"

"Like you said: it's more of a hope or a belief."

"And those hardly ever translate into reality," I answered.

"Then what are we supposed to do?" Seraphine asked. "Just dance around our feelings and each other like two high-schoolers? We're in college now, Jae. We're graduating in three months."

"But—"

"But nothing," Seraphine argued. "I'm more than ready to take the chance with you. And if it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. I'm sure we'll still be friends after."

Those were the last words I needed to hear . I wanted to laugh at the incredulousness of Seraphine's words. Staying friends after a break-up was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard of.

That wasn't how things worked. At all.

My sister was a living example of that.

So I bit my tongue to silence myself.

"Jae?"

"I still need time to think," I replied. "I'll give you my response when I'm ready, okay?"

"… Okay. I'll be here. Always."

"I know." I picked up my phone. "Goodnight, Ser."

"G'night, Jae."

I ended the call and placed my phone face down on my nightstand.

Laying on my back, staring up at the stark white ceiling of my room, I let out a deep sigh.

What a way to end the night .

[;]

April 9th, 2020

On the morning of my birthday, I awoke to the sound of rapid knocking on my door. Groggily, I rolled out of my bed and opened it, rubbing my eyes. "Yes?"

"Morning, Jae!"

Before me stood Seraphine Yeng, a surgical mask covering the bottom half of her face. She wore a simple white tank top that was fringe-tucked into a pair of ripped, blue short-shorts that left her long legs on display.

"Wait, Sera? What on Earth are you doing here?!"

She clapped her hands together. "It's our birthday, and since my dad's out of state again, I wanted to spend it with you!" She beamed, her eyes sparkling with unbridled joy.

"But the pandemic—"

"I haven't stepped outside once, and neither have you, so I'm certain that we're both perfectly safe," Sera stated confidently. "Right?"

She rose up to her tippy-toes to ruffle my hair. "Wow, your hair is really tangled in the morning."

"Mmh." With two fingers, I grabbed her wrist and peeled her hand from the top of my head. "Let me shower and fix up my room a little bit."

"I can do it for you," she offered.

"Not sure how I feel about having you clean my room."

Seraphine's hands went to her hips as she glared up at me. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, that's sort of how it works regarding everyone. I don't even let Eunkyung clean my room."

"Just let me help out, Jae," she said. Then, a mischievous look flashed across her features. "Unless you're hiding something… inappropriate in your room?"

I sighed. "Nothing you wouldn't find in a normal, twenty-one year-old's room, I guess."

"Condoms?" Seraphine asked.

I looked at her with the flattest, most emotionless look I could muster. "Ser."

Her facade cracked, and she broke out into a laugh that was too loud and too raucous given how early it was. Still, seeing her so happy… It was hard to dissuade a smiling Seraphine from smiling. "Sorry, sorry," she said, wiping the corners of her eyes. "I couldn't resist."

"Oh really now?"

She giggled. "Yes, yes." With one hand, she tapped the side of my arm. "Okay, go shower. I'll tidy up your room for you."

Some things never change , I thought to myself as Seraphine stepped past me and into my room. I grabbed a fresh change of clothes and a new towel from my dresser. With my hand on the doorknob, I glanced back at Seraphine.

She was dutifully removing all of the sheets and pillows from my bed, placing them in the seat of my chair. Then, she set to work adjusting the corners of the bed sheets so that the surface of the bed was flat.

"Do you move around a lot in your sleep?"

"I think so," I replied. "Most mornings, I wake in an entirely different spot from where I slept."

"Interesting."

"Mm. I'll be back in fifteen," I announced, walking out of my room and to the shower.

[;]

With a plain white t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants, I returned from my shower to Seraphine and Eunkyung sitting beside each other on the living room sofa. They both glanced at me, Seraphine with a smile and Eunkyung with a mixture of concern and confusion.

"Did you eat yet?" I asked Sera.

She shook her head. "I woke up, did my morning routine, and then made the decision to drop by. No time for food."

"Right." Or you just missed my cooking . "What do you two want?" I asked. The kitchen was fairly well-stocked. Eunykung and I made the decision awhile ago that she would be the one to leave the house for any groceries or errands that needed to be run— I say decision, when I really mean that she just volunteered.

"Anything's fine with me," Eunkyung replied.

"Same here."

Taking out a few ingredients from the fridge, I shot them both a deadpan look. "Why are you both so indecisive?"

"Because I like surprises."

"Because you know my tastes."

I rolled my eyes. I set to work cooking a simple breakfast of bacon, eggs, and pancakes. While they sat on the couch, watching a show on the TV. They had their eyes glued to the screen as the scene played out. Eventually, the smell of cooked food pulled their attention from the TV and to the dining table as I set the food out.

"Thank you for the food," Seraphine said, taking up the chair closest to the sofa while Eunkyung sat in her usual place.

I sat beside Seraphine. Mostly because she was sitting where I usually sat.

The conversation over breakfast was minimal— seeing as everyone was rather hungry and eager to have their stomachs filled. Eventually, breakfast was finished; Eunkyung went back to her room to start getting ready for her day, and Seraphine helped me clean up the dishes and wash them.

"You guys keep your apartment super organized, it's kinda freaky."

"Organization is freaky?" I asked incredulously. "What a hot take."

Sera shrugged. "Just saying. You two have a really good handle on everything, even with how young you are." She stepped up beside me and began to dry the dishes that I finished washing.

With the last dish washed, I turned the faucet off and moved to the other side of Sera so I could return the dried dishes to their respective places in the cupboard. "Well, we had to grow up pretty fast."

"Fair enough," Sera replied, drying off the last plate.

"You know," I began. "While I was at your place, I noticed that it wasn't very tidy."

Seraphine pouted. "How rude." She stood with her hip against the kitchen counter, facing towards me.

"Sorry." I chuckled. "Whenever I'm able to come over next, I'll try and help you clean up or get organized or whatever."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Mmh." I placed the last dish in its respective cupboard. I turned to look at Sera. "So, Birthday-Partner, what else do you want to do today?"

She tilted her head in thought. "Well, I can tell you what I don't want to do."

"And that is?"

"Make music."

"Oh?" I raised a brow. "Why not?"

"I want to take a break. Last night, after I finished up my assignments for the week, I was up until like 2 A.M. trying to write lyrics."

"No progress?" I asked.

"No progress." Seraphine pursed her lips. "Like I said it's a difficult topic to write about."

"Yeah." Much like Seraphine, I hadn't made much progress on any of my tracks for the EP either. In all my life, I'd been through hurdle after hurdle, trial after trial, but the one thing that has remained consistent for me was music. Making music. It was a frustrating part of my reality now— being stuck on something musical.

I needed something to ground my thoughts in.

I just didn't know what it was. Or if it would ever even come to me.

"Doing a lot of thinking there," Seraphine said. "Are you okay? You've been spacing out pretty often on our calls too."

"Have I?"

Seraphine nodded. "Let's sit, yeah?"

"Sure."

Seraphine and I sat awkwardly beside each other on the sofa. Sera kept her hands folded over her crossed legs. I grabbed hold of the TV remote and scrolled through the available shows on Netflix.

And like coming straight out of a comedy, Eunkyung stepped out of her room at the perfect time.

"Wow. You two look like the most awkward couple to ever exist," she commented as she walked past us. Eunkyung popped open the fridge.

Sera and I glanced at each other, our cheeks slowly turning pink.

"Jae, I'm gonna take the leftovers from last night as lunch."

"No problem," I replied.

Eunkyung made her way to the front door, and after slipping on her flats, she glanced back at Seraphine and I. "If you two end up doing anything… frisky, just know that I don't have condoms in my room."

"Wait, why?" Seraphine just had to ask.

Eunkyung rolled her eyes. "Because I'm a lesbian." And then she shut the door behind her.

Seraphine's mouth hung open. "Oh."

I stared at the last place Eunkyung stood, impressed with her words. "One of the few times she's actually admitted it outloud to someone."

"Really?"

I nodded. "My parents… Well, you know, conservative values and all that. They didn't exactly respond too kindly when they found out about her sexuality. She held it against them up until they passed, and she… She's felt bad about it ever since then."

Seraphine nodded. "I understand." Then, she sighed. "What are we even going to do today?"

"You know, I feel like I should've been surprised that you went to my house without a plan for the day. But here I am. Not surprised in the slightest," I said.

"Okay, that's just rude."

"It's also true."

She pouted. "It was purely impulsive, alright. You know how impulsive I am."

"I do. Which is why I'm not surprised."

Somehow, Seraphine's pout grew. She crossed her arms as she glared at me. "Okay then, what was your plan for the day?"

"Finish some assignments, then try and write, or produce, the EP again," I stated. "I also needed to make a list of groceries for Eunkyung to pick up, call Xayah or Rakan about the status of the Vastaya…" I trailed off. "Yeah. I have a lot to do today."

"Jae…" Seraphine whined. "Well, while I'm here I might as well help. Is there anything you need or want me to do?"

"I'd hate to ask you to do errands on your birthday."

"It's your birthday too," replied Seraphine. "And since we're birthday partners, we might as well split up the duties, right?"

"Right." I stood up, placing my hands on my hips. "Let's go and be productive today."

Seraphine stood alongside me. "Right!" She glanced up at me and beamed, her azure eyes sparkling with joy.

[;]

I synced my phone to the TV, started up my playlist, and got to work on my assignments— and while I did my homework, Seraphine called Xayah. Their conversation acted as some good background noise, except when Seraphine told Xayah that I was with her.

"You're at Jae's house?!"

"Yes, I am."

"Do you mind putting him on the phone?"

Sera glanced at me. I looked back at her from my Audio Engineering worksheet. It was a relatively simple assignment, just matching terms to their definitions from the class textbook, and then analyzing those definitions in the context of the given piece of music.

I shrugged. "I can talk for a bit."

Seraphine handed the phone to me.

"Hey," I said. "Just wanted Seraphine to check in on you guys while I did some homework."

"How sweet," Xayah crooned. Then, her tone turned serious. "What is Seraphine doing at your house? Did you guys forget about the pandemic or something?"

"She…" I trailed off. "She just sort of showed up. She assures me that she's safe and not infected, and I trust her."

Xayah seemed to deliberate my words for some time before responding with a simple, "Mhm. Okay."

"Yeah."

"How are you and Eunkyung handling everything?"

"We're trying to get it together," I hesitated. "In truth, I'm not really sure what the next few weeks are going to look like for us, much less next month."

"If you guys ever need anything: a place to stay, a few extra hands, and maybe even some money—"

"Xayah, it's okay," I immediately protested, feeling myself recoil at the thought of Xayah giving us money. "But the offer is appreciated. Really. It is."

"As long as you know that the offer is there, alright?"

"Mmhm."

"I want a 'Yes, Xayah, I understand,' Jae."

"Yes, Xayah, I understand."

To my side, I heard Seraphine stifle a giggle.

"Good," Xayah huffed. "Alright, you can put Seraphine back on the phone now. I just wanted to check in, that's all."

"Thanks, Xayah." I handed the phone back to Seraphine, returning my attention back to my homework.

"Hey, Xayah," Seraphine began.

And the two began to converse.. Of course, I only caught Seraphine's responses.

"Yes. Mmhm. I will," replied Sera. She glanced over at me, and then giggled. "Yeah, definitely can't do it on his own. I'll take care of him, Xayah, don't worry about it."

I rolled my eyes.

"No, my schedule's been pretty free, even with school." Seraphine glanced at me and then made a writing motion. I handed her a piece of scratch paper and a pen from the supplies lying around.

"Yes. Solari Bakery?" She jotted down a phone number and an address. "Mmhm, I got it. Well, no, I haven't looked for work lately because I… I figured that you guys would just take me back in once lockdown was over," she hesitated.

"Ah. I see." Sera's hand around her phone twitched, and I watched as her smile faltered slightly. "Okay, well, I'll give them a call I guess. Right. Thank you, Xayah. Have a good rest of your day. Bye." Seraphine ended the call and calmly placed her phone on the coffee table.

"Did they lay you off?" I asked.

"They did."

"I… I'm sorry, Ser."

She shook her head. "I mean, I guess I should've seen it coming. I was only brought on a couple of months ago. And compared to the rest of the staff at the Vastaya, I'm the most inexperienced."

"Just keep your chin up," I encouraged. "I'm sure the place that Xayah told you about will be just as good if not better than the Vastaya."

"Mmhm." Seraphine let out a sigh. "Not at all how I was expecting that call to go."

"Me neither."

"Well," she tried. "Not much to be done about it now. So, what else do you need me to do?"

Not wanting to take her willingness to do chores for granted, I brought out our vacuum and asked her to vacuum all of the bedrooms while I finished up my work, and I would worry about the kitchen, and the living and dining room. She quickly got to work with her earbuds pressed into her ears and her eyes focused on the task at hand.

Steadily, I finally finished up my assignments just as Seraphine left Eunkyung's room with the vacuum in hand.

Over the course of the day, Seraphine and I managed to do all of my errands and chores for the entire week. Everything from vacuuming the floor, to cleaning the bathroom, to doing laundry, and even to organizing our fridge.

At around 2:30 P.M., Seraphine and I crashed onto the couch. She leaned her head against my shoulder, letting out a deep sigh. Her pink hair, which she previously had down, was now kept in a high and tight ponytail. Beads of sweat made its way down her neck and collarbone to her chest.

"Do you want to shower?" I asked.

"I probably should," she replied. "My clothes are all sticky and gross from sweat." Sera rose to her feet and walked to my room. "I'm gonna grab a change of clothes for my shower. Do you mind?"

I shook my head. "No birthday suit?"

Sera's head peeked out from the doorway. "Wanna see me in one?"

"N— no, I— I'm good!" I sputtered.

Seraphine giggled and winked. She then disappeared back into my room before reappearing with a pair of pants, a shirt, and a towel. "Be back in a sec," she announced, popping open the bathroom door and stepping inside.

[;]

"Okay, no, you have to admit that she's got a brilliant voice," Seraphine said.

"I think I like Evelynn's more though," I replied, my hand on my chin.

Seraphine had taken it upon herself to introduce the members of K/DA to me, especially because she was a huge fan of them and I wasn't. While I was initially apprehensive about the idea, I figured that I would amuse her for a bit. It was her birthday after all. However, much to my surprise, the members of K/DA were incredibly gifted musicians. Each of them approached music in their own way, they all had their own flair and identity, and created music to fit that identity.

People who lived and worked like that always inspired others to do the same.

Others like Seraphine.

And that's how I ended up watching nearly every second of available content that K/DA had. Everything from their performance at the League of Legends World Championship Finals in 2018, to their numerous interviews, and their music videos; starting with Ahri's music videos from early in her career, all the way to K/DA's POP/STARS.

"Really? I thought you'd like Ahri's voice more."

"Why's that?"

"Because it's kinda close to mine." Seraphine winked.

I resisted groaning at the sheer greasiness of the line, but there was some truth to it. I loved the timbre of Seraphine's voice, among other things.

However, there was a confidence in Evelynn's voice— an almost arctic attraction that was meant to draw all eyes to the diva. "Evelynn's is just way different from any voice I've heard before. But they're all amazing singers, honestly."

"Right?!" Seraphine beamed. "I'm glad you can finally understand where I'm coming from. Once this virus clears up, we should definitely try going to a concert of theirs."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far," I said.

"It's not even that big of a stretch, Jae. It's just a concert."

"It's not just in regards to K/DA." I pursed my lips. "It's been awhile since I've been to a concert. Don't exactly have pleasant memories from the last one I went to."

"Oh," Seraphine realized. "I'm sorry."

"No reason to apologize." I smiled. "I learned a lot about something you love, and that's always a positive, right?"

"Mmhm."

I grinned. "If you don't mind, I'm gonna need to rewatch POP/STARS."

"Why?"

"Because you're doing a cover of it, right? Even though I'm producing an entirely new instrumental for it, I want to do the original as much justice as possible."

"Sounds like a plan!" Seraphine shot me a thumbs-up, and then replayed the music video for POP/STARS.

From the get-go, the unique timbre of the synths, the vocal chops, and the bass, was going to be nearly impossible to recreate without the original samples. Every moment leading up to the pre-chorus of the song was driven by punchy snare hits, arpeggiated, chopped vocals, and a bass caused the floor to shake. As expected, the pre-chorus was mostly tenor, accompanied with steadily building drums. And when the chorus finally dropped, it was energetic, exciting, and satisfying , driven by synthesizers, perfectly-organized percussion, and a brilliant vocal delivery by everyone in K/DA.

If there was one issue I could foresee during the production of Seraphine's cover, it was the fact that the K/DA girls had an air— a confidence— about them that Seraphine wouldn't be able to accurately encapsulate.

And that wasn't a dig at Sera. Some people just had more stage presence than others.

For Sera, the strength of her voice was just how versatile it could be, as well as the range and depth of emotion she was capable of.

As much as I wanted to keep parts of the original, it was going to be a difficult, and ultimately useless endeavor. Just because she wanted to cover a song, didn't mean that her version had to be the exact same as the original. In fact, covering a song meant that you put your own spin on it— you made it sound like your song.

And after a bit of thinking, I knew just where to start.

I stood up from the couch.

"Jae?" Seraphine asked.

"I got an idea for your cover of POP/STARS," I said, grinning widely.

"But— but I said that I wasn't in the mood to—"

"Sera, I know you," I interjected. "You're never not in the mood to sing. You were just frustrated that you weren't making progress, right?"

She rubbed the back of her neck. "Well, that's not entirely untrue…"

I grabbed her hand. "C'mon. Let's go and make some music."

[;]

"Let it be known that an inspired Jae is a terrifying Jae," Seraphine announced to no one in particular. She sat alongside me in front of my computer. Her guitar rested in her lap and a microphone pressed close to its soundhole.

"Terrifying? Why terrifying?"

"You work so fast that it's kind of mind-boggling," she explained. "That's all."

"Oh. Thanks."

Sera rolled her eyes despite the smile that danced across her lips. "You're welcome."

Upon realizing that I wasn't going to be able to match K/DA's sound, I decided to put POP/STARS in an entirely new light.

For all intents and purposes, Seraphine wasn't a popstar. At least not yet. She dreamt of being one. She put her entire being into eventually standing on a stage and singing, performing for a crowd.

Her cover of POP/STARS needed to be about her dream to become a popstar.

Not being a popstar.

So, I produced a song that would perfectly fit (and encapsulate) Seraphine as a singer. The track opened with her vocals, her guitar, and an echo-y snap, and all three of those sounds were pumped with as much reverb as possible— as if she were singing in an empty stadium.

" Ain't nobody bringin' us," Seraphine sang. As it built up, deep synths, light claps, and a riser all crescendoed into a sparse, bass-kick driven chorus. " Down, down, down, down, down, down. They can try it but we're gonna wear the crown. You could go another round— round, round, round, round, round— wish you luck, but you're not bringing us down. "

" We go hard, 'till we get it, get it ." The guitars, the percussion, and the synths all came roaring back during the second half of the chorus. " We go hard, we so in it, in it. We pop stars, only winnin', winnin' now. Ain't nobody bringing us, down, down, down, down. "

Seraphine stood the guitar up against the side of my desk and leaned back in her chair. "We finished that song in what, like, an hour?"

"Just about."

"Crazy. You're crazy, Jae."

"You know, it's not just me, right?" I asked. "You picked up on the style of the song quickly, and you sang it perfectly in just a few takes. I may have produced it and all of that, but your delivery was perfect."

"Thanks, Jae." She smiled.

"We've got both of your covers finished." I stood up and stretched, looking back at Seraphine. "Which means we've made at least some progress on the EP."

Seraphine nodded. "So, what now?"

"Well, it's almost 5. My sister will be home in about an hour, if she isn't being kept there," I reasoned. "How about we make some dinner?"

[;]

While Seraphine may not have known her way around a kitchen on her own, having an extra pair of hands was more than enough for me. Dinner was done in record time, and the table was set long before Eunkyung even texted me she was on her way home.

"Does Eunkyung give you birthday presents?" Seraphine asked.

"Not since I turned twenty," I explained. "How about you?"

"If my parents weren't there, they left me something. If they were home, then they always surprised me."

"You know," I began, "I actually thought about getting you something."

"Oh? What was it going to be?"

"Well, I already got you a new piano, so I can't get you that," I listed. "What about a new guitar?"

Seraphine shook her head vehemently. "No, no, no. There's not a chance in hell that I'm letting you get me a new guitar. A— an— and it's too late now anyways, my birthday is almost over," she sputtered.

I laughed. "Fair enough."

"How's Lux?"

"Busy."

"Well, she's there for school, so it makes sense," Seraphine reasoned. "Have you messaged her at all?"

"No time," I said. "And I didn't want to bother her with the messages."

"I… I don't really think it'd be bothering her," Seraphine murmured.

I shrugged. "If she finds time, she'll text me."

Seraphine fell silent at my answer. "Alright," she finally said.

Before I could respond, the front door opened and Eunkyung stepped inside. She held up a plastic bag, and I rushed over to take it from her. As she took her shoes off, I checked the bag's contents.

"A cake, huh?" I asked.

"I can't ever hide anything from you in the fridge," Eunkyung said, taking the bag back from me. "And Seraphine's here, so I figured I might as well get a cake for her as well." She set the bag atop the kitchen counter and pulled the cake out of it. "Jae, can you get the numbered candles in the pantry?"

I found the candles and grabbed a lighter, taking it to Eunkyung while she set the cake up on the dining table. It was a simple chocolate cake, but it was the gesture that mattered.

"C'mon you two," Eunkyung said as she finished putting the candles on the cake and igniting them. "Sit together."

I pulled an extra chair over and motioned for Seraphine to sit beside me.

"Thank you," Seraphine said. "This… this means a lot to me."

"Of course." Eunkyung took out her phone. "Now smile so I can take a picture." She quickly snapped a photo. She swiped her screen, likely switching to recording. "3… 2… 1…"

" Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you… " We all sang.

As we sang, an almost impossible feeling of happiness bubbled within me.

"Happy Birthday!" Eunkyung cheered. "Make a wish."

With Seraphine by my side, we blew the candles on the cake, wishing into the stars and hoping that our dreams came true.

[;]

"Goodnight, Ser," I said, standing in front of Seraphine and her parked car. "Drive safe."

Seraphine looked up at me. "Goodnight, Jae. Thanks for letting me come over."

"No worries," I replied. "Having you here made the day great.."

She smiled cheekily. "Maybe for you it was. Not so much for me."

"Oh?"

"It was a perfect day," she breathed. "I couldn't imagine a better birthday— considering I spent it with my best friend and all that. But that's besides the point." Sera put her hands on her hips. "I better get going. Bye, Jae."

"Bye, Ser."

"See you whenever!" And with a final wave, she popped open her car door and slid inside. The door clicked shut, but the window rolled down. "Or maybe next week." She winked.

I rolled my eyes. I watched as Seraphine pulled out of the parking spot and drove out of the garage. And even though she was driving away, I was still hung up on what she had said earlier.

Friend .

For some reason, hearing it felt… weird. It felt strange. Where it once felt comforting, and made me feel safe and secure, now it was almost alienating.

And as I laid atop my bed, feeling the soft surface of the comforter against my skin, I realized it then:

That calling us friends wasn't enough anymore.

It wasn't anywhere near enough.

I thought it was, back when I had that conversation with Eunkyung. I thought my feelings were fleeting. I thought my feelings were nothing more than a passing fancy. But the consistency with which my heart and mind raced at the thought of her, how desperately I wished to see her in-person again, and just how happy she made me…

She was more special than love.

More precious than myself.

She was my angel.

"I love you, Seraphine."

Here we go! Finally onto the romance stuff, right?

The last two weeks have been incredibly taxing on my mentality. We had the viewing for him last Sunday. I won't get into it, but it was rather traumatic to see him like that. In all honesty, I've felt a lot better. I'm not the type of person to feel blue that often, if ever. But this loss really ruined things for my mentality. I've been taking time to myself. Healing. Keeping up with friends, family, and other loved ones. And of course, writing. Two weeks after the loss, writing has been incredibly therapeutic for me. However, I chose to work on some other projects of mine instead of Rising Stars because I knew that if I worked on this story during the last two weeks, I would have ended up hating it, and therefore cancelling it.

Which is the LAST thing I want to do to you, my readers, and especially to myself.

I love this story. Even with all of its glaring flaws and errors, I'm proud to have stuck with it for this long. And it makes me so happy whenever I read anything all of you have commented on. Speaking of comments, thank you to everyone who left a supportive message on the last chapter. They mean a lot, even if we're just a couple of strangers talking over the internet.

Anyways, thank you for sticking with me thus far. I appreciate it more than I can communicate and more than you can know.

Love you.

Next Chapter: 1/29/21