A/N: Thought I would post a little bonus chapter this week to celebrate hitting 1895 views. You might be thinking, "hm, that's an oddly specific number to celebrate," and you'd be right because I just figured out I can check views. I'm not exactly tech savvy ;) Regardless, I was blown away! Thank you so much for reading! If you've made it this far, don't be shy, say hi in the reviews! How did everyone feel about the little twist last time? Hope it wasn't too...twisty? And thank you to everyone who's left reviews so far, especially LeticiaBS :) I appreciate you all! Also, I'm a few days late, but happy Indigenous Peoples' Day!

I don't know, team, I thought, doubting myself moments later. What if he tells someone? Maybe I should've… vanished him?

Vanished him? Jacob asked. He thought that was an odd way to put it. I didn't really understand how I could tell who was who. Thoughts didn't have voices, not really. More of a mental tone. But somehow it was remarkably easy in this space to match thoughts to their owners. Even easier than matching voices to speakers.

Right, I thought back. Kill him, I mean, but also I would have had to hide the body. Dispose of the evidence and such. I pictured rolling his body, wrapped in trash bags of course, off the back of a truck into a swamp, with dramatic swells of orchestral music in the background.

Yikes, thought Paul. Someone watches too many serial killer shows.

I realized with a flash of panic that the rest of the pack could see my internal montages. I would have to keep those under wraps somehow.

What? I thought. There's good tips in there. I watch for research purposes. It was obvious in my thoughts that I was kidding. Even more obvious than it would have been when I was speaking. Thoughts, and the intention behind the thoughts were plain. There were a few nervous mental chuckles. Not laughter so much, just the feeling of it without the sound. It was easier to call it laughter though. I wasn't sure what else I would call it. Mirth?

I realized I could dig a little deeper if I wanted to. Sense quieter-no quiet wasn't the right word-more like, less pertinent thoughts. Thoughts that weren't put into words or meant to be communicated. I could sense that each of them were shocked that I had phased, and now pondered what it meant for the pack, and how uncomfortable it would be now that a girl had joined.

Ugh you're right! The sarcasm in my thoughts resonated clearly. Sorry for crashing boy-time, my dudes! What a drag! I wasn't particularly sorry, possibly because I had little respect for the sanctity of boy-time, and partly because I was flushed with poorly concealed excitement at the prospect of finally being in the inner circle of unspoken office drama. Besides, the idea that only men could assume a lupine-alter-ego and hunt and kill bloodthirsty monsters was so 1950s. I could tell that Quil thought that was funny, but I could feel annoyance from some of the others. My fur bristled. Hey if anyone's to blame, it's Eli, for filling me with such a... masculine rage. That was met with mumbles of silent agreement especially from Quil, and from Jared, who in spite of cautioning me against killing him, seemed to hate him even more than I did. That hatred rippled through the rest of the pack, the feeling magnifying as it passed through the pack, ruffling fur as it went. Quil remembered saving me that night. It was almost worse from his perspective, seeing me like that. Not quite, but almost. I shuddered, trying not to think of how it had been from my perspective. I felt the chorus of sympathy, grief, and anger from the pack anyway.

A new understanding of the pack dawned on me. How they supported each other. How they so easily reached agreements. How they functioned as a group. Why they seemed to move in perfect synchronization, as if they were one body instead of six.

Or seven? My thoughts sounded like a question, even to myself. I almost felt like I was intruding, like an outside observer as opposed to a true member. It didn't help that I could feel Sam speculating as to why his orders hadn't worked on me. As the alpha, I shouldn't have been able to ignore him when he told me to back off. I thought it was because I was so mad that I had been able to tune him out.

Shouldn't have mattered, Sam thought.

I sensed that Jared was getting closer. I traced his path in my mind as he raced through the trees. I started to step towards him. It was so strange at first, moving on four legs, but the moment I found the rhythm, I picked up the pace. In no time I was amazed at how fast I could move. Even then, I knew I'd only reached a fraction of my potential speed when I saw Jared.

We slowed to a stop in front of each other. I hadn't seen him as a wolf since that one time he had phased in front of me, close to when we had started dating. He looked the same, thick, dark grey fur and a massive build. But then I remembered that he shouldn't seem so enormous now. I was a wolf too now. Shouldn't we be the same size? I guess it sort of made sense-he was bigger than me when we were human too-but the difference was even more apparent now. He was at least two feet taller than me, when we were on all fours. Then I saw what I looked like through Jared's eyes.

I was far from the terrifying beast I'd pictured myself to be. I was small, at least compared to Jared. My fur was stark white, the color of snow, and I was impossibly fluffy. I looked like a giant cotton ball, perched on narrow, pin-like legs. The only features that were visible were my dark eyes and nose. My ears weren't even visible. They were completely buried in fur. Oh my god, I thought in horror, I'm adorable.

You're so small! Jared's thoughts were practically a giggle. I could tell he was enjoying this. The others thought it was funny too.

Why am I so fluffy?! I wailed, surprised when the sound came out as something close to a howl.

It's based on how long your hair is, Jared explained. That's why we all cut ours short. You can cut it if you want. We were both picturing me with short hair. I would look like a boy if I cut it that short, but this fluff was really too much. Maybe there was a middle ground. Bob cut or something. Or a bowl cut. I giggled internally as I pictured it. I would look like Jim Carrey. Or one of the Beatles.

You might want to think twice on that, Jared advised. You'll probably be even smaller after a haircut. I think you're mostly fluff. Jared stepped closer and snuffled around near my face.

What are you doing? I demanded. His breath moved my fur around. That tickles!

Just wondering if there are ears under there, he thought with a silent giggle. I can't see them.

This is so unfair, I groaned, plopping down on the ground.

Jared traced the direction of my thoughts until he understood. You wanted to look scary?

Yes! I wanted to look scary! I howled again. Why can't I be the badass kind of werewolf? You get to look big and scary. I look like an overgrown Maltese! Like you should all call me Snowball or something. I can't believe that poo-bag Eli was scared of this. I looked down at my paws. They were still huge, but far less intimidating next to Jared's. How embarrassing for him. Like being scared of a poodle.

Well, a person who turned into a poodle, Quil interjected. I can see why that would be a little freaky.

I thought about how it had happened. What I'd said before I transformed. I guess it was a little badass.

You knew what was happening before you transformed? Sam asked.

Yeah, I thought. Because it was just like how you all described it. Also I had Quileute blood. My mom was an Ateara, just like Quil.

But you're a girl, Paul thought, just confused. There was no mention of female werewolves, in any of the stories. Maybe I was the first? Of course I probably wasn't. It wouldn't be the first time women were left out of the narrative. They all thought about that. None of them had considered that possibility before. Typical. Just went to show how badly they needed a girl on their team. This was met with a lot of disgruntled thoughts.

Plan? Jacob asked. They had been following the female's trail, an effort which I had interrupted. Sam was considering doubling back towards town for the day. Jared strongly seconded that opinion. For some reason, he really wanted to get me home. I could tell he did not like the thought of me joining the fight. Ever.

I scowled at that, irritated by the implication that I wouldn't be capable of helping. I expected Jared to back down, or clarify, or even double down, but he just tried to keep his mind quiet. He was trying not to think about me at all, and failing. Curious, I tried to figure out why. I prodded a bit, pushing into his mind, and his clear discomfort about the thought of me chasing the female with the pack. Jared continued to fight against my mental intrusion. Please? I asked. He sighed, then stopped trying to hold me away. His thoughts flooded through me and I was floored.

In addition to my endless, fruitless speculations on werewolf and vampire physiology, I'd also given a good bit of thought to imprinting and what caused it. I'd tried many times to imagine what Jared might feel for me. What Sam felt for Emily. What getting rawked felt like, and why it happened in the first place. Jared had told me it was like finding your soulmate, and knowing instantly; love at first sight. I knew it was strong enough to convince Sam to break up with Leah after a three year relationship so he could be with Emily, after just one meeting. For Jared to not be able to take his eyes off me. Jared had described it as gravity once, which I remembered thinking was cute but super cheesy. I remembered speculating that it was some kind of a pheromone signal, just more precise and much stronger than signals for humans, which I thought could be explained by his heightened sense of smell. I'd imagined it as an elevated, more extreme spark of attraction, nothing more, as at the time, I didn't believe in love at first sight.

But there was nothing within my understanding of any field of science-biology, chemistry, or physics-that could explain what Jared felt for me. Not imprinting, or pheromones, or even gravity. Planets and stars in the vacuum of space drifted towards each other on the basis of proximity and mass. But the pull on Jared was greater than a planetary drift, and wasn't influenced by mass and distance. It wasn't physics. It wasn't chemistry either. Chemistry could cause the initial spark of attraction, so it was my first guess. But love happened over time. The spark was usually weak, and the flame had to be delicately kindled, carefully over long periods of time. That's why in the real world, soulmates were made, not found. But Jared and I, against all laws of science, had started with a roaring bonfire, one that at first only he could see, but that I could see more and more of every day. Getting rawked could be something else entirely. Something not currently within our collective realm of scientific understanding.

I thought of Alice Cullen, who could see every possibility and eventuality unfold in her mind, and as a result, could understand the benefit and cost of every choice she ever made. Perfect clarity. Clairvoyance. Jared and Sam were not clairvoyant-they couldn't predict the future any better than anyone else-but I couldn't help but make the comparison. Because when Jared saw me on the beach that day it wasn't a chemical signal that drove him towards me, it was recognition. It was as if he had somehow seen our entire lives unfold, as if he had experienced every moment we would have together, every kiss and fight and tender moment, building a fire over the years as we fell in love and grew old and eventually died together, only to be thrown back in time, stranded on a beach with no memory of the lives we'd lived together, just a roaring fire, a beacon of light guiding him to a life and love he didn't realize he'd already built.

Not science. Magic. Those words weren't so different. Science was everything that could be explained. Anything we couldn't explain, we called magic.

I could feel the others, listening to my musings. Sam thought about Emily. Jared thought about me. Both of them liked the way I described it. Sam imagined growing older, his lifetime with Emily. All seven of our interlinked minds fell quiet for a moment.

Honestly that's what it feels like, Sam thought.

I never really knew how to explain it, Jared admitted. I thought you knew.

I do now. I was elated, seeing into his mind. It was like a massive weight was lifted off of me. I honestly thought I was floating. Never again would I worry that he would get bored of me, that his feelings for me would fade, that he would grow out of this and leave me. I couldn't believe that just days ago I was worried that he wanted to break up with me when I told him about school. Now, I could see with complete confidence that he would want to try to make us work, whatever happened next, and for the rest of our lives. I felt mingled mental laughter and eye-rolls from the pack at the thought of Jared wanting to break up with me. I felt silly for panicking, and then relieved that I felt silly.

I wanted to tell you how I felt, Jared insisted. I just couldn't find the words.

I looked into his eyes. Because there are no words.