Although they weren't in sight, Steven knew that Lapis, Bismuth and Peridot were stationed somewhere outside, making sure he wouldn't try to run. Not like he would get very far. He couldn't even use the warp pads anymore.

He'd been waiting for forty-five minutes, and his anxiety had only increased; he didn't dare move from his designated spot. However, he desperately ached to get a glass of water, maybe some food. He hadn't eaten in… well. He couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten anything.

He tried to find something to distract himself, but it felt like everywhere he looked, he was reminded of his biggest mistake. Photos of him still decorated the walls, and his favorite mug hung pristine on the kitchen rack, clean and shiny. Even the coffee maker was still sitting there, plugged in, maintained, as if he wasn't the only one who used it. The only thing that gave it all away was the thin layer of dust on the stairs.

Everything looked almost exactly the way it had when he left, serving only to remind him of how much had changed. He realized now that he had seriously, truly broken everyone's hearts.

He bit his lip, feeling his face grow hot. Being left alone with his thoughts was a little frightening. It'd been months since he found himself alone in this house. He hadn't really been truly alone in a long while, and even when he was, it was always on his own terms. If he'd needed anything, there'd been an abundance of gems more than eager to spend time with him, to lavish him with devotion and distractions . Maybe that's why he'd ignored the ambiguity of his actions; he'd never allowed himself a chance for self-reflection, filling the hole inside himself with the adoration of his subjects. He'd soaked up their praise like a sponge, using it to feed his delusions and hide from the consequences of what he was doing.

It'd just been so long since he felt useful, since he'd had others depending on him. He couldn't get enough of it.

And in some, messed up way, he'd felt like he was helping Jasper, too.

She'd seemed to actually like having him around, and he'd mistaken that for progress. He'd thought he was teaching her about Earth, about the value of life and empathy, all that crap. In reality, he'd just been enabling both of them, hadn't he?

Maybe he'd just been trying to make up for what he'd done to her, what he'd done to everyone.

Everything was so much clearer now, devastatingly easy to remember. It'd been coming back, slowly but surely, and he was now aware of just two things:

He'd done real, serious damage, and there was no going back.

He curled in on himself, tugging at his hair. Despite everything that had happened, he missed Jasper, found himself wishing desperately that she was still there with him.

Unfortunately, she'd been banned from coming within a mile of the beach house. It was understandable, but anxiety inducing all the same. A part of him wished she'd disregard the rule, perhaps come bursting defiantly through the door. Instead, she'd been surprisingly respectful of the Crystal Gems' terms, hadn't even put up a fight.

And Jasper always put up a fight.

He had no idea where she was now. Maybe she never wanted to see him again, after everything that happened. He certainly wouldn't blame her.

Oh, why couldn't he just face his problems? Why did he have to run away from them like a coward? Pushing away those who loved him, who could help him, messing up everything he'd tried to fix?

Nothing needs fixing anymore. If you had just realized that, if you just stopped trying to insert yourself everywhere you weren't needed, none of this would have happened.

But I'm not needed anywhere.

The door to the porch swung open, startling him badly. He brought his hands to his chest, breathing heavily and standing up to meet the gems. He barely took two steps before Pearl held up a hand.

"Guys-"

"Sit."

He hastily obeyed, dropping back down to the couch.

The gems didn't sit with him, electing to stand. They effectively towered over him, making him feel even smaller than he already did. It was like he was a kid again, waiting for punishment. He looked down, keeping his shaking hands close to his body. The silence was overbearing, and he bit his lower lip to keep it from wobbling.

"Steven," Pearl began, "we're not mad at you, we're just-"

Steven burst into tears.

"Oh shit," Said Amethyst.

Pearl threw up her hands in surrender, unsure what to do. Amethyst immediately sat herself on the couch with him, rubbing his back in a quiet attempt to console. Garnet just stood there, trying to process the situation.

"Easy, Bud!" Amethyst tried. "We said we weren't mad!" She glanced at Pearl for help.

"Uh, yes!" Pearl agreed. "Steven- It's not like you succeeded in ending the world!"

That earned her a glare from both Amethyst and Garnet.

"She is right, though." Said Garnet.

"N-no, but-" Steven struggled to get the words out between frantic breaths. "I- W-What I did was- so- awful! H-How can you even- stand to look at me-?!"

He dissolved again, and the gems' hearts ached. They didn't want to lie to him, and tell him it was all forgiven, but it was clear he wasn't proud of himself.

Behind them, the door opened and closed, but the gems were too preoccupied to notice.

"W-Well," Pearl looked away, trying to find the words. "Steven we've all done things we're not- not satisfied with, but- I mean, I guess we've never, never- uh..."

Steven's crying worsened.

"Guys." Said a voice. All three of them looked in the direction of the door, where stood an unimpressed Connie.

"C'mon." She said. "Outside, we're taking five."

As Connie ushered the gems out the door, Greg passed them by on his way in, heading to Steven's side. Bismuth, Peridot and Lapis caught sight of them, wanting to know what all the fuss was about. Peridot immediately went to the window and stood on her tip-toes, trying to peer through the window.

"What happened in there?" Bismuth asked, taking in the gems flustered faces.

"They made him cry." Connie said. Bismuth and Lapis cringed in sympathy.

"We didn't mean to!" Pearl cried.

"His reaction… was unexpected…" Garnet commented, peering through the large window.

"Would you two go in there," Connie asked Lapis and Bismuth. "make sure Greg doesn't need any help?"

They nodded, rushing inside.

With that taken care of, Connie led the rest of them down the stairs to the beach, making sure that they were out of ear-shot.

"Ok. Walk me through what happened." She said, turning to face them.

"We literally didn't say anything." Said Amethyst.

"Literally?"

Amethyst huffed.

"We were nothing but gentle!" Pearl groused. Garnet looked a little concerned too.

"Connie, we don't want to hurt him, but there needs to be consequences for this. Are we supposed to treat him like glass?"

"A little bit, yeah." Said Connie. The gems didn't look satisfied by the answer, so Connie elaborated. "Did Steven screw up? Yeah, he did. And you guys have a right to be mad at him."

They opened their mouths to try to speak, but Connie cut them off, holding up a finger.

"But he knows he screwed up, and he knows you're mad at him. He doesn't know if you still love him."

"But that's ridiculous!" Pearl said. "Why would we…"

Garnet just looked away in shame.

"I grew up with him." Said Connie. "Do you remember the first time you told him you loved him? Because I remember him talking about it for weeks afterward. He was almost fourteen. He'd lived with you guys for nearly six years, and it took you that long to say "I love you"."

They were silent for a moment.

"...It was six years?" Amethyst asked.

"No, I'm sure it wasn't-" Pearl cut herself off. "No… it… Connie,"

She opened her mouth, but couldn't find the words, and looked to Garnet for help.

"Connie, Pearl means that, erm…" Garnet frowned, mind going back to her and Steven's conversation in the tower.

You only loved me when I started taking care of you, like she wanted.

"Gems don't love the same way humans do," She said weakly, "it-it takes us longer-"

"He thinks your love is conditional."

The gems shifted uncomfortably.

"He thinks we don't love him anymore?" Amethyst asked quietly.

"Guys, when I was younger, you were all really intimidating. I don't think you realize how scary you were, especially when I was 10. You were amazing, and violent, and," Connie gave them a heavy look, emphasizing her next point with her hands, "...And I would've done anything to impress you."

At the sight of the gems surprised expressions, Connie continued.

"...And I barely knew you." Connie added. "Imagine how Steven felt, knowing he was supposed to be like you. It was expected of him."

"We… we did push him to be like us, sometimes. But we never meant for him to feel... like he needed our prove himself." Said Garnet, staring at her feet.

"I don't think you realize- he worshipped you guys. Your opinion meant everything." Connie turned to Pearl.

"Pearl. I didn't even idolize you half as much as he did, and you were able to convince me my life meant nothing."

Pearl shrunk, looking away guiltily.

"I never got an apology, by the way."

"...Sorry."

"Yeah, you should be." Connie gave her a pointed look. "My mom got me a fucking therapist after that shit."

"After what shit?" Greg asked, coming down the steps.

"Hey Greg." Said Amethyst. "...Is he doing ok?"

"He's getting there. I just wanted to make sure Steven wasn't grounded for another thousand years."

"But how else are we-" Pearl started, but was ribbed by Garnet.

"He's a teenager!" Cried Greg. "He's going to make mistakes!"

He paused.

"...Maybe these were some big mistakes, but it's up to us to teach him how to fix them." He said. "Not make him feel like an irredeemably bad person."

"Exactly." Said Connie. "Let's try this again."

Lapis and Bismuth were already glaring at them through the screen door before they'd even opened it. Steven had mostly quieted down to the occasional sniffle and gasping breath, but when he saw them enter, his eyes welled up again.

Lapis sensed his discomfort, tightening her hold on him protectively and giving them a warning look.

"I-" Steven tried, but Garnet held up a hand.

"Steven, we-" Garnet swallowed, unsure of how to go about this without making him cry again. "We've, we've come to apologize-"

"No!" Steven cried.

"No?" Amethyst asked. Steven pulled out of Lapis' arms, standing up.

"Please, please, I'm-" He wiped at his eyes. "I'm sorry for crying. Please, I'm not- not trying to- I know I messed up. But-don't think- don't think you need to apologize to me, because I'm- I'm so…"

He wiped at more tears, growling in frustration.

"I'm such a fucking monster."

Garnet stepped forward and set her hand on his shoulder, feeling him flinch.

"Steven, with all due respect," She said, "Shut up."

Steven's jaw snapped closed, and Amethyst came over to hold his hand.

"Steven, look. What you did was bad, believe me," Amethyst told him. "And don't do it again, but."

She gave him a gentle look.

"It wasn't as bad as, maybe, we were worried it was."

Steven gave her a confused, tearful look.

"But… Wasn't… was anyone…" His voice cracked, and Amethyst held up a hand.

"No one died." She paused. "Well, ok, some- one person, is, um."

Tears began to spill down Steven's horrified face, and Pearl rushed in to elaborate.

"Not because of you! Well, we don't think so-"

"Who?" Steven croaked out.

"...It was the pr- the ex-president of the United States." Said Garnet. "He suffered a heart attack four hours ago."

Steven's mouth shut as he processed the information. He still looked absolutely devastated, but it was obvious on his face that he'd expected something more… grisly.

"Dude, he was really old, and like..." Amethyst waved her hand in a circle, trying to come up with more comforting information.

"And that virus last fall may have, er, weakened him some." Pearl added.

"Steven, it could have happened regardless." Assured Garnet. "There were many timelines where it occurred naturally."

This calmed Steven down some, but he still looked extremely pale. Eager to change the subject, Amethyst carried on.

"Well, and- that was about the worst of it. I'd be lying to you if I said no one got hurt, but most of the injuries we saw were superficial-"

Steven's breath hitched. Realization suddenly hit him, and he frantically dug through his pockets.

"Wait! Where's Spinel-"

"Steven." Garnet shook him lightly. "She's fine, we healed her too."

"But- What-"

"At the fountain." Pearl said. "Rose's fountain."

"And, before you ask, she forgave you." Said Garnet.

"Said something about 'an eye for an eye'." Said Amethyst, mimicking Spinel's accent. "She was… weirdly upbeat about it."

"Just for the record, that was a horrible impression." Pearl remarked.

"Just for the record, you're absolutely wrong." Amethyst shot back.

Garnet squeezed both of their shoulders painfully. Despite her lanky arms and slender fingers, Garnet's hands were especially strong. They could feel every atom of Ruby and Sapphire's combined beings telling them to shut the fuck up.

"We're not proud… but your soldiers showed a lot of caution, Steven." Garnet added. "From what we heard, most of the damage caused was from human military equipment."

Steven relaxed slightly, taking comfort in the knowledge that his Quartzes had taken his orders seriously, and been relatively peaceful.

"...And I guess you did overthrow, like, a bunch of dictators and stuff…" Amethyst admitted. "...You even brought democracy to Russia…"

"But don't think it all ends there." Said Pearl, wagging a finger. "You've created a lot of power vacuums, young man."

"There's gonna be a lot of cleaning up to do." Said Garnet.

"I know, guys. I'm, I'm sorry." Said Steven.

"I know, Steven. ...We're sorry too." Said Garnet. She sat down so that she was no longer looming over him. "We should've noticed sooner that you were in pain, shouldn't've made you feel like Jasper was the only one who'd listen... And we definitely should never have made you feel like our love was conditional."

"We're not- we still love you, Ste-man." Said Amethyst. "...Even if you fucked up pretty bad."

This earned an elbow jab from Pearl.

"It is true, though." She added.

Slowly, they came in to wrap their arms around him, he sunk into their hold gratefully.

"I love you too." He said hoarsely.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, savoring the warmth of the hug, before Pearl spoke up.

"We're still punishing you, though."

He stiffened, but nodded, breath picking up.

"Yeah like. You definitely don't get to go see Jasper anymore." Said Amethyst. "Off limits."

"But-" He croaked, but Pearl held up a hand.

"Aaaand you can't leave the house without a chaperone." She said. "No more running off without warning."

Steven nodded.

"And most importantly," Said Garnet, resting a hand on his cheek. "Don't forget that we're always here for you."

Steven just hid his face under her chin to hide his smile.

"But also;" Pearl said quietly. "No phone privileges for one thousand years."

Amethyst and Garnet both paused, considering that last statement. They didn't have long to contemplate, though, because the moment was soon interrupted by Connie frantically swinging the door open.

"Hey." She said, face relatively calm, but muscles tense. "This isn't anything Steven should be concerned about, but like. Um. There's some seagulls outside that I really need help chasing off."

Garnet nodded instantly, standing up.

"Come on, gems." She said. "And Not Steven. Let's go scare away some birds."

She stiffly led the group outside, shutting the door after them and leaving a confused Steven behind.

"Wait, so what's happening with the... birds...?" Amethyst asked, squinting as her eyes adjusted to the daylight. Connie pointed towards the corner of the bluff, and the group followed suit, faces tightening when they saw it.

Steven's cult was back, and they looked angry. One of them came forward, waving around a TIKI torch from WahMart.

"Return our savior!" She cried, spurring the others on. "Or pay recompense!"

"Yeah, man! Give him back!" Cried another.

"This isn't cool, bro!" Came a slurred voice from the back.

"I'll take care of this." Said Pearl, leaning forward and drawing her spear. She began to stalk towards the group, looking for all the world like a knight about to go to war, when the door to the beach house opened with a weary creak.

Steven stepped out onto the balcony, eyes red and puffy, but dry. His face was stony and alert, and he fixed his stare on his ex-cult.

"Guys, quit it." He said. His voice was a little scratchy, but otherwise powerful, carrying across the beach like a King's. He sounded completely done with the crazed humans on the beach, but they certainly weren't done with him.

"Our Divinity! You're alright!" The woman in front cried, raising her hands in triumph. Steven huffed.

"Yeah, um, look." He scratched at his bicep with his index finger. "Ya'll need to leave."

The group faltered, and collective confusion washed over them.

"But, Our Diamond!"

"I'm not your Diamond anymore. You're free to go."

"But we're only free when we're with you!"

Steven face-palmed.

"Oh my stars." He mumbled, but made sure to say the next part loud and clear. "Guys, w-we're not doing this anymore. Stop worshipping me."

No response.

"...Please." He finished.

The group was silent for a few moments.

"...We don't want to." Said the woman in front. The admittance was so forlorn that even Pearl felt a twinge of sympathy.

Steven slumped, running his fingers through his hair, unsure of what to say.

"Uh, My Diamond?" Came a new, deeper voice. Steven looked to the West, gaze zeroing in on a second crowd shuffling in on the beach.

The Strawberry Quartzes.

"My Diamond, please. We haven't heard from any of the generals, no one's speaking up. What's happening?" Asked a Quartz. "Do you… Do you want us gone too?"

Steven frowned in uncertainty. He looked to the gems, searching their faces for a sign of what to do.

Garnet thought for a few seconds.

"Well…" She said to the group. "There is a fledgling democracy in Russia these days... We could use some help maintaining it..."