Author's Note: Hello, my beautiful readers and welcome to another chapter of Angel Conundrum. There has been a glitch on the website for the last week or so, in which no new chapters are showing up on the website. Apologies if you have been not seeing the last chapter. I have no idea if this chapter will show up or not, but I've been told that the app seems to be working. Fingers crossed, everything will be sorted soon.
Before you start, quick note, there will be a brief allusion to non-consensual activities in this chapter. Nothing explicit, though.
Also, a huge thank you to Space-Dweeb for your comment. All will be revealed… now!
Disclaimer: Eoin Colfer owns all the characters from Artemis Fowl, I only own my imagination and my characters.
Chapter 13
The polished marble gravestone reflected the moonlight, the name of the deceased ablaze with light. A graveyard. A bit melodramatic, but he preferred the silence of the dead. No begging, no sobbing, no getting on his nerves.
Ananiel hadn't wanted to come, his powers were far from what they used to be. Their new dietary changes had improved their health manifold, but Lucifer wasn't like any other angel. He had been an archangel and still bore many of those powers in him.
He sat on a square stone sarcophagus and waited. Lucifer would be late. Even after centuries of existence, the arrogant angel wasn't above such childishness. Nor Heaven nor Hell had been able to humble the Morningstar enough. There was no-
"Ananiel, what a pleasant surprise. Have you been waiting long?" Lucifer's silky voice wound itself around his mind like a vice.
Lucifer's snow-white wings rustled against the earth as he walked around the stone structure and settled a few feet away on the base of a stone angel with outstretched arms. Ananiel stopped himself from rolling his eyes.
"How is the new diet going?" Lucifer asked casually. The older angel hid his surprise with a cough. Lucifer smirked, viewing his manicured fingernails. "Word travels fast."
The angel with the golden wings recovered and shrugged as if he didn't care.
"And now you want a piece of the cake?"
His brother scoffed. "Please, I might be fallen, but I am not corrupted. I am not in need of restoring my powers."
"Our task was clear from the beginning. Purify the world from all evil," Ananiel said gravely.
Clouds moved in front of the moon, hiding Lucifer's face in the shadows as he laughed mirthlessly. "And look where it has led you, brother. Your wings can hardly carry you anymore, can't they? I am offering you an easy way out. Swear your allegiance to me and you can rule in this world, instead of hunting for scraps."
Ananiel held up his hands in peace. "Isn't it time that we lay our differences down?"
"You kidnapped my demon," Lucifer spat out, clenching his fists.
"Not before you killed Jophiel, Manakel and Sachael. To name a few. I am sure, you see why we had to take some precautions to assure our safety."
Grinding his teeth, Lucifer remained silent, throwing his brother a dismissive look.
"We can get back to Heaven. Home, Lucifer," Ananiel suddenly announced.
Lucifer's heart skipped a beat. So, it was true then. The scholar had been right. He snorted, overplaying his agitation.
"Your home. I was cast out, remember? And then imprisoned for an eternity by my brother. My own brother punished me for rebelling," Lucifer hissed. The anger made his eyes turn black. The temperature around them seemed to drop several degrees. "Forgive me for not jumping up and down in excitement."
The other angel hesitated, his angelic features unreadable. "Michael was never like us, Lucifer. He followed his orders, blindly. And he was slain. But his end doesn't have to be all bad. His sacrifice might be our way home. Our family finally reuniting."
"Michael is dead?"
Lucifer's anger fizzled out, his eyes returning to their normal brown colour. Somewhere, an owl screamed. It sounded like a mockery. Ananiel nodded, his face a calm mask. For the first time, Lucifer wondered, if he had underestimated his brother's ruthlessness. How could he talk about killing Michael so casually? Then again, it had been a long time ago.
"What are your plans then?"
"Michael's sword. We were supposed to return once we finished this task. It is still in Jericho. All we need is to open a portal to Heaven with it."
Lucifer frowned. "What about the Cleansing Fire?"
"That was the initial plan, yes. But we need more time, more fairy blood for it to work. The supply is less than satisfactory. They live underground and only come out every so often. You, however," he turned to Lucifer. "You haven't been corrupted by mortal blood. You would be able to use the sword's powers. You could be the true Lightbringer to your kind and we can all go home."
Home. It was too much to even fantasize about it. Lucifer shook his head. "I am not welcome there anymore."
Ananiel jumped up and grabbed him by the shoulders. "If God can forgive those lowly mortals, why not his own children?"
Lucifer shook the hands off and shooting up, fled into the shadows of the statue, hiding his face. He couldn't see the triumphant gleam in Ananiel's eyes.
"Don't decide now, brother. Give it a thought. I will set your demon free if you still want to spend eternity in Hell with him."
The white-winged angel swallowed hard, feeling dizzy. No, an eternity in Hell, even with Yonatan wasn't an option, was it? Not even with Yonatan?
"I'll think about it," he said hoarsely, opened his wings and shot into the night sky.
The Major blinked. A fine rain of soot landed on his head and shoulders. He was back in Hell. Again. It was a fluid transition. One moment he was in the castle, the next he was wandering the big and empty planes together with all the other souls. He was one of the lucky ones. His hand wrapped around the blue stone around his neck, glowing against his weather-beaten skin and keeping him save. His instinct told him to keep moving regardless.
Five feet to his left a yalayi was feeding on what looked like a middle-aged businessman, ripping chunks of meat from the body. The creature lifted its head and hissed at him. He stared back unimpressed, but turned away eventually and walked towards an old and gnarled tree. He knew this was nothing more than a sick illusion. He would walk and walk and walk and never reach anywhere.
And still, he walked. There was nothing else to do in this dead place. Everything was dead. The people, their thoughts, the surroundings. He was the oldest being walking among the dead. Nobody could have outrun the beasts as long as he had. He was a Butler after all. If someone could break the cycle, it would be him.
He stopped in mid-step and gave the thought some attention. Not for the first time, of course. The Major had passed away several years ago, the thought of breaking out of Hell had crossed his mind a few times. Not when he was on the run, but since he had been protecting the woman, Sofia. He remembered how she sat one night in her kitchen, eating a bowl of cornflakes and ripped up croissants.
"Did you know that Abraham Lincoln had the same morning routine for pretty much all his life? And look where it got him in the end," she ate noisily, a book in her lap.
Half the time he thought she was mad. This time was no different. "You are drunk."
She rolled her eyes. "The rut kills you in the end. If you keep eating cornflakes in the morning, one day they'll shoot you in the head. You know what I mean?"
He didn't at that moment, but it had made him stop in Hell. Instead of walking from one dead tree to the next to the next to the next, he had paused. Only for a split moment. The thought almost immediately forgotten. But he picked it up a few nights later and then again, a few nights after that.
First, he had only survived. There had been no time to waste on any thoughts at all in the past. His instincts had been guiding him, overriding any possible thoughts. But now the monstrosities no longer chased after him every minute.
The Major hadn't been big on emotions and compassion. Neither in life nor death. But even he was sick of this place by now. His mind told him he should have been going mad. He hadn't slept in... in a very long time. He had once gone four days without sleep, during a mission in the Kongo. This, however, was different. At one point he was convinced that he had been wounded and his mind was making up these pictures to cope with the situation. Sometimes he told himself he was just in a long coma. The Major could never delude himself for long, though.
He turned his head skywards, his eyes searching for the sun or the moon or the stars. Out of habit. It had been one of his first thoughts as he regained awareness to orientate himself in this place. But the sky was empty. Empty, apart from the cloud of soot raining down of its own accord.
The Major reached the tree with a once white cloth wrapped around it. By now he was used to the sight. He had fastened it around one of the tree's branches, thinking it would help him navigate around. His fist curled and uncurled in a rare burst of emotion. It was the same he ended up at, once he began his march from the tree. Somehow, he walked in a circle without ever changing directions. He had to try something different.
Pushing the gravel around with his foot, he wondered what lay beneath. If there was no way for him to use the heaven nor the earth, maybe there was something below. He dropped to his knees and shoved his fingers deep into the dry soil, churning it up for the first time in centuries.
"A night," the dragon's voice boomed from the walls.
"A night?" Sofia frowned in confusion. A night of what?
The dragon's smirk became wider, showing a row of sharp teeth. "A night with me."
Sofia choked, coughing violently, while Butler remembered why the name had been so familiar. He had heard the name many years ago. On one of the rare occasions, when his mother had put him to bed, she had told him the story of a horny and greedy dragon, stealing maidens and hoarding gold. Strange choice for a bedtime story, but funny how this knowledge came in handy in his late thirties.
The huffing laugh of the dragon echoed from the walls.
"Don't look so shocked. It is not such a far-fetched offer. I am happy to share my bed with both of you. I don't have any preferences regarding your sex and you two you will have the time of your life. I guarantee it."
Butler had a hard time keeping his face from derailing. He didn't remember that part from his mother's fairy tales. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, a muscle twitching in his jaw.
"I hope you are joking," Sofia managed, once she recovered from her shock. The next time she saw Lucifer, he would pay for this. She wished the Major could have been there with them. He would know what to do. Maybe he'd punch the dragon in the face until he spilt his secrets.
The dragon enjoyed their confusion. His tail, which had been wagging from side to side, began moving up Butler's leg. The bodyguard took a distinctive step away. Zmeu's tail whipped around, faster than Butler or Sofia would have thought possible. It wrapped itself around the woman's waist, yanking her closer. The reptile jumped from his throne and morphing into the middle-aged man again, came to a halt in front of her. The tail vanished, releasing her from its grip. Sofia stumbled back.
"Calma! Who says your information is even worth my time?"
"Trust me, all my information is worth anyone's time," Zmeu grinned and touched a strand of her wild hair. She pushed the hand away.
Think, think, Sofia ordered herself. Her eyes scanned her surroundings. Anything that they could use to keep him at a distance? Everything gleamed goldenly. Coins, jewellery, statues, apples… Apples?
Blinking, Sofia stepped around the man and scrambled up the low slope to the throne. Scattered around it like simple bric-a-brac were indeed a handful of golden apples. She picked one of them up. It wasn't possible.
"Golden apples," she breathed.
"They are pretty, aren't they? I'll give you one, pretty girl," she heard the dragon's voice behind her.
Butler positioned himself between the dragon and the professor, glancing over his shoulder to where she was crouching. What were they talking about?
Zmeu, in the meantime, had slithered closer to Butler, licking his lips as the bodyguard tried to stare him down.
"I think, we will have a lot of fun. Share the bed with me and I will not only share my memories of the Nephilim but also gift you a golden apple."
The bodyguard shook his head at the same time as Sofia's "Deal."
"Are you out of your mind?" Butler boomed, whirling around to where she stood. Zmeu's slanted eyes twinkled with joy as he lifted his hands peacefully.
"I am not jealous. It is a silly sentiment. You shouldn't be either; you can still join if you like. Let me know when you are ready."
He disappeared behind a coin slope, while Butler stomped to where Sofia was standing.
"What the hell, Professor?"
She didn't even look up from her apple. "Do you have any idea what this is?"
He grabbed the apple and hurled it into the distance, withstanding her glare.
"I don't care what it is. I will not be blackmailed to sleep with this madman and neither will you."
His scowl could have competed with his uncle's but Sofia sighed in exasperation. "That is not for you to decide."
"You cannot be serious!"
She picked up another apple from the ground, but Butler wrestled it out of her hand once more.
"Stop that. There will be other ways to find out more about the angels. What the heck is so special about these apples, anyway?"
"What are we discussing here? If you don't want to sleep with him, don't. He didn't seem to mind. I don't have such scruples," she huffed.
"Scruples? We are talking about rape."
Sofia straightened up to her full height. She barely reached Butler's chest.
"It's not rape if it's consensual. Which is not the point. I appreciate the concern, but I can assure you, I have made up my mind. I'll take the apple and the information. End of discussion."
Butler clenched his fist, suppressing his urge to smash something. Ideally the sleazy dragon. He wondered if she was under some sort of spell.
"You cannot do this!" He tried to not shout.
"And why can't I? Because I should only sleep with someone I love?" she drew invisible quotation marks into the air. "That is a very noble belief, but I don't care much for such notions. I prefer knowledge and the golden apple for that matter."
She turned and the dragon man appeared from nowhere next to Butler.
"Have you changed your mind? I can make your world stop," he said, touching Butler's arm. Sofia made a face.
"First the information."
Zmeu smiled, letting his eyes wander Butler's form up and down, appreciatingly. "But of course."
He lifted his arm and spectres of light began floating around, mirrored by the gleaming coins around them. The outlines of an ancient settlement morphed in the air.
"When the Nephilim came to Earth, they began living in the ancient city of Jericho. They were divine and they were one. What one did, the other did. What one suffered, the other suffered. But all changed when they no longer slew the humans."
Shadows of miniature angels were flying through the air. Small figurines below them threw themselves at their feet in fear.
"Once they started to drink from the mortals, they no longer wanted to be united but rather be single beings. They were tired of following each other. They decided to overthrow their leader, the Honourable One. Archangel Michael," he said, his face becoming sombre as if remembering a painful memory.
"They gave up their souls to be free from the power of Michael's sword and to decide their own fate."
The outline of a golden angel was attacked by several dark ones. Sofia held her breath, following the fight that the Archangel ultimately lost.
"They slew him, stole his sword and locked it away in the Temple of Jericho. They turned their backs on it and never came back," he finished. He stopped talking, far away in another time and another place.
"How can we stop the Nephilim?" Sofia finally asked.
Zmeu's sad look slowly turned thoughtful. "The one powerful enough to wield Michael's sword will bring them under control again."
"Where is this sword now?" Sofia had more questions than answers. The dragon's explanation had helped but they were no step further than before. His familiar leer returned on his face.
"So many questions. How do you want to pay for those?" he eyed Butler up and down.
Sofia held up her hand. "I'll figure it out myself."
"Then let's move to the enjoyable part of this transaction, shall we?" he held out his hand to her. She ignored it. She believed he really meant what he proposed, but now she hesitated.
Come on, she cheered herself on. Odin gave his right eye for more knowledge. She could get eternal life for herself and her family. It was a bargain.
"Lead the way," she said, sounding more confident than she felt. The dragon grinned and gestured them to follow.
"You can watch," he promised Butler.
"You can't," murmured Sofia under her breath, suddenly feeling feverish.
It wasn't that big a deal. It was just sex. People did it all the time, she was just out of practice. She thought of the apple, the reason she was doing this. Judging by her experience, Zmeu would finish in five minutes, maybe less. What were five minutes for an eternity? Her sweaty palms were simply in anticipation for the reward later.
Butler felt sick to the stomach. This was nothing he had ever trained for during his time in the Academy. He knew what he would do if he had been in the same situation with Artemis. And Artemis would have had a plan that wouldn't have included any of this nonsense. His code of honour stated he had to save a woman in need, it said nothing about a woman who didn't want to be saved. Or crazy ones that traded sexual favours for golden apples. An apple. His cooking might have not been vegetarian-friendly, but it wasn't that bad! He wondered if he could shoot the dragon in the back, throw her over his shoulder and make a dash for the exit. He followed the pair further into the lair, his eyes scanning every corner of the room, evaluating any possible escape route.
They stopped in front of a canopied bed in the middle of a sea of gold coins. Zmeu turned and gave Butler a wink. "Changed your mind, yet? You look like you could use some relaxation."
He didn't get an answer, so he stretched his hand out to the woman. "Time for some lovemaking, my dear."
Zmeu gripped her wrist and dragged her the last few feet to the bed. He threw her unceremoniously onto it, where she landed on her belly. The dragon was on her in no time, grabbing the hem of her dress and pushed it up. Not worth it, Sofia decided.
"Stop! I changed my mind, I am not okay with this," she squealed in protest and struggled against the weight of the dragon on her back. It was enough incentive for Butler to react. He crossed the few feet to the bed and grabbed Zmeu by his neck.
That was very chivalrous of him. He was, however, unfamiliar with the dragon's inhuman anatomy and thus, unaware of the several pleasure points scattered over his body. One of them, as you might have guessed, at the back of his neck.
So, while Butler was able to stop the attack, he also, ah, fulfilled their side of the deal. Zmeu let go of the struggling Sofia, who wiggled free from underneath him. She rolled over and brought as much space between her and the dragon.
Zmeu groaned while Butler kept his grip of steel in place, wrongly concluding that the sounds were those of pain. Sofia frowned, looking closer at the dragon in front of her. He didn't seem to mind the interruption. At all. In fact, the look on his face was blissful. Something was off.
Butler pulled the dragon away from the bed, who started to tremble and groan again. In pleasure. Sofia's mouth dropped open, but the words wouldn't come. That wasn't necessary as Butler, too, realized what was happening. He dropped his hand away from the dragon's neck as if it was scalding hot. Zmeu shook violently and dropped to the floor, completely detached from the reality around him.
Sofia crept to the edge of the bed, darting a glance to the dragon writhing in orgasmic spasms on the floor. She lifted her gaze to meet Butler's, who had jumped back in horror. A vein in his temple began to throb as he clenched his jaw, mortified.
"If you ever speak of this to anyone…" He didn't finish the sentence. There was no need.
They left the castle in silence. Sofia had taken the golden apple with her. Technically, she hadn't completed the task herself, but Butler didn't protest. He wanted to forget this ever happened as fast as possible. He also wanted to know where his uncle had disappeared to but refused to speak another word as long as they were in the castle.
Sofia held on to the apple like a charm. Which it was in a way. The smooth surface felt metallic to the touch. She wondered if she should just bite into it, but decided to wait for a quiet minute to examine it properly.
The moment they stepped out of the castle Butler wanted them back into the woods and out of sight of any onlookers, who decided to take a morning stroll to the countryside. He placed a hand on the professor's back and half pushed, half guided her back into the thicket before letting her walk by herself. Increasing his tempo, he marched hard through the forest, determined to bring as much space between himself and the dragon as possible. Trying to keep up with the taller man, Sofia kept her gaze to the path, her surroundings rushing by in blurry lines. Then Butler stopped abruptly and she collided with his back.
"My uncle," he started, without turning.
He had no idea, she realized. Not that she knew much more if she thought about it. She put the apple in her jacket pocket, without letting go of it.
"Is he still human? Or is he an angel or a dragon or a demon?"
She didn't know what to tell him. Technically, she wasn't obliged to answer at all, she reminded herself. It wasn't like she owed him. Apart from sparing her from being bedded by a dragon. She decided on the truth.
"He is human. I just don't know if... if he is alive anymore."
Butler turned around a question in his eyes. Sofia opened her mouth, searching for words. Less dreadful than the ones on the tip of her tongue. Where was she supposed to start? At the way the tendrils of terror had curled around her heart, the first time he had stepped out of the shadows? The oh so subtle cloudy eyes? His face that could have been chiselled into stone, not even the ghost of a smile ever flitting over it? He sure as hell was not the life-of-the-party kind of guy. But what did she know? It could have been a job requirement for bodyguards.
She met his gaze. "There is no life... I mean, he doesn't eat or drink and he is extremely strong. And cold."
Butler snorted. "He was always cold."
"But he is different? From whenever you have seen him last?"
He didn't answer. Vanishing into thin air? Yes, that was new.
He started to walk towards the safe house, slower this time. Sofia hesitated, she wished she could have told him something more cheerful. There seemed to be a lot of unresolved issues in their family. And the Major acting as if he'd burn to ashes if he showed even the slightest glimpse of compassion didn't help. Before they reached the entrance, she caught up with him and tapped his arm lightly.
"Back there, I... it was nice what you did... and... I didn't mean for you to...," she stumbled over the words.
One corner of his mouth lifted into a wry half-smile. "You are welcome, Professor."
A nervous giggle bubbled up in her chest, but she pushed it down and followed him inside.
A/N: I just want to say, this is obviously a light-hearted work of fiction and exists to entertain and make people laugh. At the same time, I am not trying to make fun of sexual assault and don't want to upset anyone. Let me just say this: Your body belongs to you and cannot be sold, no matter what. Also, it's okay to say "No", even if you said "Yes" first. Stay safe.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Comments and kudos are always appreciated. Next time it will be less drama and more scheming. Promise. Have a great day and see you next time.