CAEB Part IV - The Cross He Bears.

Chapter 4 - Progress is Progress

"Tony, if I come in to get my handbag will you bite my head off?" Pepper shouted from outside the bedroom door.

"You're safe as long as you don't plan on having a go at me for doing the right thing!"

Pepper sighed and bit her lip, putting on a smile as she entered the room.

Tony sighed and rolled his eyes the moment she entered. "Come on Pep, don't pretend you're not angry with me too, I can feel it remember?"

"You should work on learning how to block that out." She said, not rising to it as she searched for her handbag.

"What you all dressed up for anyway?" He huffed. Pepper was wearing a stunningly modest, but form fitting ball gown. It was sleeveless with one shoulder strap, elegant in its simplicity and plainness, the silky black fabric not adorned with rhinestones or other garishness. It was a little too business like for Tony's taste, but still, there wasn't really much she couldn't pull off and his and her ideas of fashion hardly lined up.

"Just another charity ball." She located the clutch purse in one of the wardrobes. "You're supposed to be there actually."

Tony's head perked up at that. "Maybe I will be. Rhodey's asleep so I can't go in the lab, I have time to kill."

Pepper's eyes widened. Tony hadn't been seen in public for weeks, maybe months and there were rumors spouting again. The last thing she needed as him in this mood making a scene in front of shareholders and potential investors. "You can't go Tony, you look like shit and we can't afford the stock to dip any further." She huffed bluntly.

"I clean up alright." Tony protested.

"Can you magically put back on those ten pounds you're missing too?"

"Actually, I can." Tony sat up, taking it as a challenge. "Or at least, I can make it look like I did."

"Oh no, no, no, you are not using the CAEB in public."

"Why not, a little mind control might come in useful, get the patrons to be a bit more generous…"

"Tony!" Pepper warned.

"Come on, you can't complain at me using my powers for good and a bit of real-world practice won't do any harm."

"Unless something goes wrong, which it always does." Pepper chastised. "Usually for you," she quickly added before he could take offence.

"Come on it's for a good cause… Who is it for again?"

"Mental Health America." Pepper smirked.

Tony's eyes narrowed. "That's supposed to be funny is it?"

"I thought it was quite fitting under the current circumstances." She said challengingly. "What? You don't want to go anymore?" She smirked at him, wickedly.

Tony huffed and turned onto his side while Pepper smiled and rolled her eyes. She was glad she'd managed to put him off, it was for the best.

Clint chuckled quietly to himself the next morning as he came across a particularly interesting clip on YouTube. Pepper was not going to be in a good mood today, not in the slightest.

"What are you watching?"

Clint jumped out of his skin as Natasha just evaporated next to him. "Jesus Christ Nat!"

Natasha simply shrugged and offered nothing by way of apology as Clint leant back so she could see the screen.

"When was this from?" Natasha frowned.

"Last night." Clint chuckled.

"Last night?" Natasha eyes went wide.

"Yeah, it was Stark Enterprises charity ball." Clint explained.

Natasha had assumed it was from a few years ago, Tony certainly looked younger, in better health at least ten pounds heavier. The CAEB, he had to be tricking everyone's eyes. "Jesus Christ. Jarvis, where is he?" She asked.

"In his lab, though I will warn you he has initiated hang-over protocol." The AI replied.

"Come on, let's go check on him." Nat stood up and Clint followed eagerly as they made their way down to the lab.

Tony was lying on the couch when they arrived, wrapped in both blankets and towels, still fully dressed in a rather flash, but soaking wet, three-piece suit.

"Tony!" Natasha yelped, deliberately sharply.

Tony jumped violently and grabbed his head. "Shhh."

"Oh, dear is someone feeling fragile." Clint mocked.

"Shut up birdbrain." Tony whispered.

"Why are you wet?" Natasha asked, arms folded.

Tony chuckled. "Went for a swim."

"A swim?" Clint scoffed.

"The hotel didn't have a pool." Natasha frowned.

"No, but it had a fountain." Pepper said angrily, marching into the room her ball gown leaving a trail of water behind her. Clint guffawed, quickly covering his mouth.

"Oh, Pepper chill out, I'll buy you a new dress. One that shows a little more skin cos you look like my Grandma."

Clint had to turn away to compose himself in the shock at that comment. Jesus Christ Tony was asking for it.

"I swear to God Tony!" Pepper growled.

Tony grimaced and covered his ears with a hiss. "Please, if you are going to yell at me, yell at me quietly."

"You deserve that hangover." She said venomously.

"Even though the stock is up 40 points and we raised nearly double what you did last year?" Tony smiled cheekily.

"It hardly counts if you used mind control to get people to donate more." Pepper scolded.

"It wasn't mind control is was… a strong suggestion."

"That was reckless Tony." Natasha frowned.

"Yeah well, blame the scotch." He huffed, burying his face back into the blankets.

Natasha ran her fingers through her hair in exasperation and bit her tongue.

"Well enjoy the hangover. I hope you get a damn migraine" Pepper spat. "I need a shower."

Natasha left with Pepper to find out more about what had happened, leaving Clint behind with the wallowing Billionaire.

"I didn't know you could still get this hungover. How much did you have to drink?" Clint asked, amusedly.

"Way, way, way too much." Tony conceded. "I didn't even know I could even get drunk with the CAEB, but I guess since I was using my powers all night it slipped through the net."

"Well, what's stopping you from just fixing it now. Why suffer?" Clint shrugged sugestively.

"You're full of bright ideas at the moment Birdbrain." Tony smiled weakly. His eyes flashed blue for a moment and the color started returning to his face. "Great, back to work." He clapped his hands and went over to his desk, reaching for a bag of nerds.

"You made that look easy." Clint smiled. "You are getting stronger."

"Well, curing a hangover is a bit different to fixing spinal tissue Clint." Tony scoffed.

"Granted." Clint conceded.

"Jarvis tell Rhodey I need to starting working, so unless he wants to break his own rule he needs to get his ass down here."

"Colonel Rhodes is still asleep." Jarvis reported.

"Tell him he's a lazy ass!" Tony ordered. "I have work to do."

"Dr. Banner is on his way down." The voice in the ceiling replied diplomatically.

"That'll do." Tony huffed. "Now shoo birdbrain, clever people working here."

"Rude." Clint scoffed. "And you might want to get changed first." He sniggered.

"You might be right, there was something seriously off with the water in that fountain."

Tony smiled to himself as the team's under-armor finally passed the conductivity tests. Step 4 was going well; it was the only one that was. He hadn't had much luck with the infernal machine and because of it, he hadn't even thought about his own armor upgrades. But progress was progress he supposed, even if there were only twenty-one days left.

Natasha's widow's bites could now take down the alien craft they encountered, and he had modified their armor so that if they should accidently get hit by these now supercharged widow's bites, they should just feel a slight prickle.

Clint's arrows now had fifteen different settings. He'd had plenty more ideas, but he'd had to select the best, he doubted the Archer would have known what to do with 324 combinations - he wasn't even sure that he himself would know what to do with 324 combinations and he had the brain the size of a planet! On top of that, Clint's quiver could now hold nearly double the arrows it had before and the straps had been improved, the purpose of which was to hold up to three people's weight for a parachute. He knew the weight and bulk of a conventional parachute wouldn't be acceptable to his team members, so he'd designed an ultra-thin, ultralightweight fabric. It didn't perform quite as well, but it was enough to save their lives. Steve and Thor didn't really need it, but Clint and Natasha did. They were not having a repeat of the roof incident.

From studying what they had left over from the Chitauri invasion he had vastly improved their weaponry; 3 or 4 blasts from a handblaster should take down a Makluhk. Then there were SHIELD's phase - 2 weapons, however much they all disagreed with how they'd been created, they were incredibly powerful and therefore incredibly useful.

Pretty much all of Stark Enterprises' facilities were in full scale manufacture. They would have eight times the number of replacements he had calculated they could possibly need in the battle. But they needed a better way to distribute them during the fight than simply by drone drop and he and Bruce had already got halfway to a solution. They had been designing an armor capable of taking down the Hulk, it felt like so long ago now, back when things were less complicated. Veronica received her replacements from a flying Hub which they could redesign to distribute replacement weapons and amour, as well as shots of Makluhk antivenom. Jarvis would have enough of his plate so Tony would redesign one of his back-up AI's – yes, he had those - to scan the battlefield for allies in need of weapons, as well as have a constant feed of data from Clint's quiver and the others' utility belts so they always had what they needed.

But the Hubs would be sitting targets, easy for the alien craft to take out; unless they were invisible and constantly moving. Retroreflectives had taken him all of 30 minutes to master and now the hubs would be invisible to all but his own scanners.

All that was missing was the Asgardian weapons. If the soldiers of another world were going to risk their lives fighting for them, he could at least include them in his protective measures.

"J, where's Thor at?" Tony asked, only half concentrating on the reply and he furiously typed code into the operating system of his infernal portal closing machine.

"He is currently on Asgard Sir."

Damn. There was no way of contacting Thor then. Phones didn't work in space; he'd have to fix that. He added it to the list.

"When is he back?" Tony mumbled, trying to remember which iteration of the while loop he was in and how many goddamn spaces he needed to add before he typed the command.

"That is not known." Jarvis said, unhelpfully.

It didn't matter anyway, Tony sighed to himself. With the Bifrost still under repair summoning the dark energy for travel on such a regular basis was proving difficult for Asgard. Tony needed a sample of Asgardian weaponry for the device and it would be useful to analyze both that and any armor, to see if he couldn't improve it. If he waited till Thor got back, then they would have wasted valuable time. It could be weeks until Thor was able to return to Asgard to fulfil his request and they didn't have weeks. How far away even was Asgard? Well, if he'd unwittingly seen that other dimension in a nightmare then how hard would it be to contact Thor a few galaxies away? It was worth a shot anyway.

He closed his eyes and breathed, searching for the familiar connection that was the Asgardian leader. The more time he had spent with them the more familiar he had got with the way the CAEB saw them. Each of them had an essence even more distinct than telling faces apart, voices… personalities. It was a pattern, a feeling each being gave him that was unmistakable. It was the same for that dog on the street outside right now, and the rat it was barking at, which was so done with dogs today it was considering an attack. He supposed it was their souls he was connecting with. It would do for an explanation until he figured out the science behind it - and he would figure out the science.

Anyway, ignore the squirrel, the dog and the pedophile following that 8th grade girl… actually don't ignore him he can accidently walk in front of that bus and wake up in hospital tomorrow. Whoops, that looked painful. Thor. He was looking for Thor.

Instantly he felt an emptiness when he searched for the God. Thor wasn't anywhere to be found on Earth, but he knew that. He relaxed and let the CAEB widen its search for the Prince, until he sensed the faintest sign of the God of Thunder.

He tried to reach out, but instantly felt the effort straining at him. It was so very far away and the pain at the back of his skull was warning not to push further. Yet, Thor's signal was still so faint, he couldn't get a grip from here, he needed to push on. He was surprised this was so hard, then remembered the state he had been in after that nightmare with Kairon in the cave… Bleeding from his eyes; perhaps it wasn't wise to continue. He backed off a little and considered having some food and trying again, he was tried and drained. Not the best time to be trying stuff like this. Then suddenly, before he'd had time to withdraw back into himself, he was seized by an overwhelming force. He fought it on instinct, in panic, but confusingly it didn't try to hold him, nor did it fight back. It was a power not dissimilar to the CAEB and incredibly familiar, something was telling him it was friendly, that it was trying to help. He took a deep breath and accepted the other force. It gave him the bridge he needed, and he was snapped into Thor's mind.

Heimdall. Now he recognized it.

'Thor.'

"Heimdall what is it?" The seer's eyes had glassed over and bore their usual bright amber glow. Thor had seen that look many a time. "What do you see?" He asked.

"It is Stark. He tries to contact you."

"He does? What is it?"

"I do not know, he attempts to make the connection, but it is too far, he may cause himself harm if he tries to continue." Heimdal frowned.

"Can you warn him?"

"I believe it is important, I will help him make the connection, but you must not keep him long."

'Thor.' Tony's voice came through suddenly and startled the God a little. Heimdall really could work wonders.

'Stark you must not try to hold this connection.'

'It's fine, I'm getting stronger, but thank Heimdall for me.'

Heimdall nodded at his king. 'He can hear you Stark.' Thor relayed to the phenomenal Midgardian.

'Great. I'll be brief. I made a device to distribute weapons and ammunition when it runs out, so no one is left without a means to arm themselves during the battle.'

'You need Asgardian spares.' Thor understood.

'Yes.'

'I will bring what we have when I return and will tell the forges to begin making more, we are admittedly behind on those preparations.'

'Perfect. You could do the same with armor as well, if it is damaged the hubs will send in a replacement, I could also use some samples to analyze.'

'Of course…' Thor begin but the connection seemed to end abruptly.

"Stark?" Thor asked aloud.

"He has gone." Heimdall conformed, concernedly.

"Is he well?" Concern bit at Thor's stomach at the abruptness of his departure.

"I will need a moment." Heimdall said concentrating as he sought out the Engineer on Earth. "He is drained, but relatively unharmed."

"Relatively?" Thor protested.

"He will be fine my liege." Heimdall comforted.

"I wish he would not do that." Thor sighed.

"Time is short, and he has no other way to contact you whilst you are on Asgard. It was the logical course of action."

"Be that as it may, I still wish he would not so readily put himself in harm's way." Thor grunted.

"There are many share your view my Prince, myself included, yet despite what the people of Earth choose to believe, Tony Stark is not one for putting himself first."

When Rhodes walked into the lab, the Engineer was standing deadly still.

There had been less than a half an hour break between Bruce leaving for lunch and Rhodes arriving. Tony, despite swearing at, punching or forcefully dismantling anything that dare aggrieve him over the past few days had been relatively stable. He'd been 'sleeping' four hours a day, eating well and regularly and breaking up work with CAEB training. As a result, Bruce, Rhodey and Pepper had decided to trial him with short periods left to his own devices in the lab which so far had been working… until now.

The vibe in the room hit Rhodes like a truck the moment he stepped through the door. Something was off… Something CAEB-y was going on in here, he knew it. It was something they had all become sensitized to recently and Tony's body language and glowing blue eyes only confirmed his theory.

Rhodes approached Tony cautiously staying in his line of sight.

"Tony? You good?" He asked, snapping his fingers in front of Tony's face, but the glassy eyed stare of the Engineer just continued. He didn't so much as blink a Rhodes' presence.

The airman suddenly felt alarmed but took a deep breath. Maybe he was just trying something. He decided to give him sixty seconds before he started to panic and try and pull him out of… whatever this was, but he didn't even need to wait that long. The second that blood started to drip from Tony's nose, he gave his friend a little shake but Tony was well and truly focused, in fact, he didn't look like he was there in the room. What on Earth was he doing?

Then soon the bleeding grew worse. "Tony come on, that's enough." Rhodes shook his shoulder more firmly as the river of red began to run a little faster. "Come on, snap out of it." He snapped his fingers again and gave Tony a light tap on the cheek. There was still no response, so he kept trying to rouse the Engineer, to no avail. In fact, Rhodes had got so caught up in trying to get a reaction, he hadn't realized, the blood that had started to drip from Tony's eyes. "Shit!" Rhodes suddenly redoubled his efforts. "Tony, come the fuck back to me right now. Come on! Wake up!" Rhodes slapped the Engineer hard across the cheek and stared expectantly into his best friend's eyes. It took a moment, but Tony suddenly took a deep breath. Electric blue eyes fading back into their familiar chocolate brown. He blinked at Rhodey a few times in confusion, before the world settled back into place, then he frowned, his hand moving cautiously to his face.

"Ow!" He protested at the sting on his cheek. "What did you do that for?" He asked rather annoyedly.

"You're bleeding from your eyes again." Rhodes huffed, handing him a tissue. "It's not a good look."

Tony huffed in annoyance and then swayed a little on his feet. His vision went spotty in the corners and his legs suddenly went limp underneath him.

"Tony!" A strong pair of hands had grabbed him before he even knew what was happening and he grabbed back at them, latching onto the fabric with a vice like grip. "Woah, its ok, I've got you."

He felt himself being sat down on something soft and a bottle pressed to his lips as the world came back into focus. He swatted away the drink as he steadied up. "I'm not a baby Rhodey quit feeding me."

Rhodes didn't reply, he just sighed patiently. He was getting far too used to catching his falling friend and he was trying not to get angry right now, but did the idiot have any idea what he was putting them all through?

"Sorry about that." Tony said sincerely. He had every idea what he was putting Rhodes through. He could feel how he'd just scared the shit out of his best friend, again, and that wasn't fair. He wasn't the one that suffered most when he hurt himself like this, he knew how much his friends hated it.

"What were you doing?" The airman asked.

"Long distance call to Thor, it couldn't wait. It was tougher than I expected, had to cut it off early."

"Ok." Rhodes said understandingly. "Come upstairs for a while, rest have something to eat." Rhodes suggested gently.

"I'm going to head to bed for an hour." Tony conceded. He was drained and that had hurt, and he couldn't do anymore work feeling like he'd been hit by a truck.

Rhodes smiled genuinely, the type that reached his eyes. "Thank you." He tapped Tony on the shoulder. "What can I bring you to eat?"

"Protein shake, chocolate flavor 3:1 Carb to Protein, I need that sugar. And get me some goddamn marzipan, I don't know why but I need some."

Rhodes chuckled. "Jesus feeding the CAEB is like running around after pregnancy cravings. Is that why you're so grumpy as well?"

"Shut up Rhodes."

"No seriously, what was it you wanted last night?"

"Shut up."

"Sour cream and onions pringles, with vanilla ice cream… In a sandwich."

"What's wrong with that?" Tony protested.

"Tony, you don't even like sour cream and onion chips, you said they tasted like toxic waste until this week."

"They're growing on me and it's a good combo!" Tony huffed.

"Tony that's not a good combo, that's revolting."

"Have you tried it?" The genius challenged.

"Tony I'm not trying that." Rhodes raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

"Then shut up and stop dissing it! Hypocrite." Tony snarled.

Rhodes rubbed his hand over his face in frustration. "Shut up and go to bed. I'll bring you your damn marzipan."

"Get the proper stuff." Tony called after him. "German style, fresh, not our garbage, the sugar balance is all wrong."

"Yes, yes, yes I know." Rhodes grumbled. How the hell was he going to find that in the city? And at this time of night.

When Rhodes came back Tony looked like he was passed out asleep, but Pepper wasn't. She was perched next to him on the bed, looking a little worried.

Rhodes had been gone been nearly three hours, starting with Jarvis searching everywhere within a five-hour radius to discover that, unless he was going to fly to Tony's favorite spot in Lübeck he was screwed.

"He ok?" He asked Pepper quietly and she shrugged, before Tony's quiet voice interrupted them.

"What took you so long?" Tony grumbled. It seemed he had already emptied his bedroom snack supply, but he wasn't looking so good. He was still pale.

"Sorry, I had to make it from scratch. Nowhere was open."

Rhodes handed over a large block of marzipan and Tony looked at him with an amused look on his face. "You made me marzipan?"

"Yes." Rhodes said plainly.

"Aww Rhodey." Tony cooed, perking up a little and diving straight in to the block with enthusiasm. "Actually," He said with his mouthful. "That's pretty damn good Rhodey. I'm impressed."

Rhodes shook his head. "Well I'm glad you approve. I'm going to bed."

"Night Rhodey." Tony turned over, huddling the plate close to him under the duvet.

"You are not eating that in the bed." Pepper said sternly.

"Try and stop me." Tony grunted.

She huffed and rolled her eyes. She could have protested, threatened to sleep on the couch, but she was too damn tired to care. "Fine whatever." She huffed and settled into herself.

To Rhodes' surprise, Tony did not get up early the next morning and he was damn glad of it. Tony had not looked good last night and to be honest, when he came marching into the kitchen not long before midday on a coffee hunt, he did not look all that much better.

"When's it due?" Clint sniggered peering out, looking up from his Stark pad.

"What the fuck are you on about?" Tony was not in a good mood and he could sense the feeling of amusement in the room and instinctively knew that the joke was on him.

"The baby." Clint smiled provocatively. "All these cravings. It must be triplets, you're eating for three."

"Is it a girl or a boy?" Steve chuckled, joking in despite Tony's obviously foul mood.

"Well you've been having a lot of citrus fruits? According to this, citrus cravings mean you're having a girl." Natasha smiled wryly.

The scientist in Bruce frowned. "What the hell kind of site are you looking at?"

" ." Clint sniggered.

"That is the biggest load of horse shit I have ever heard." Tony grumbled.

"Don't put down the old wives' tales Stark, there's often science behind them." Steve smiled in amusement.

"Do you think before you open your mouth?" Tony snarled.

"Are you crazing sweet or salty foods Tony?" Natasha asked.

"Definitely sweet." Rhodes sat down munching on a slice of toast. "He wanted Marzipan last night."

"Do you sleep on your right or your left side?"

"It varies." Pepper yawned. "He never stays still, keeps me awake half the night."

"Soft hands?" Natasha asked wryly.

"He's never had soft hands; I don't think we can use that one." Pepper conceded.

"Mood swings?" Natasha asked.

"Don't you all have something better to be doing." Tony growled from the kitchen.

"That's a yes then." Clint scoffed.

"Well it's conclusive Stark. You're having a girl." Natasha smiled teasingly.

Tony glared at them and then left without saying a word.

"You've upset him." Steve sighed.

"He was already pissed off." Clint shrugged. "So sue us for trying to cheer him up."

"Did we go too far?" Bruce asked, concerned.

"It was a joke in good humor, he just didn't sleep well." Pepper sighed.

"Nightmares?" Bruce asked.

"I don't know, he doesn't talk about it much anymore and I daren't press him." She sighed.

"I suppose I better make sure he doesn't break anything important." Rhodes sighed. "Himself included."

"I'll take over for a bit Rhodey, there's some stuff I need to ask him." Bruce offered.

Twenty days to go. That countdown clock was really getting on Bruce's nerves.

"Tony?" Bruce frowned at the Engineer who seemed to be breathing heavily and holding himself very tense. The physicist leant to the side on his chair to try and see the screen Tony was working on. There was a large red box in the center of the display which read simulation failed. Bruce's shoulders sunk. Not again, surely?

Tony had been making tweaks to the machine all night, running the simulation took six hours; six hours of watching and waiting and all for nothing it seemed. Algorithm or not, calibrating the machine's settings was proving incredibly difficult and it was fraying Tony's already fragile temper.

Bruce snapped out of his trail of thought to see Tony, sledgehammer in hand marching with his eyes locked on the machine. "No, No, No, No!" Bruce grabbed the shoulders of the advancing Avenger and turned him away from his machine. "Let's not hit that, you will not be happy about it later."

Tony gave him an angry glare, clearly more eager to smash the object of his frustration than anything else. "Don't give me that look, you'll thank me later." Banner glowered back. "If you want to hit something hit that." The scientist offered, gesturing at the wall. "Or go to the green room and practice, you could use a break from this."

Tony swung the hammer above his head, smashing it into the concrete 3 times, swiftly and viscously. Shards of concrete erupted into the room and Bruce instinctively covered his face to shield his eyes from the onslaught. But he felt nothing. Then he noticed the blue glow that was shielding him from flying shards.

When Tony put down the hammer, he looked less angry more defeated and his face was littered with small cuts from the sharp shards.

"Tony…" Bruce sighed. "Let's take a breather. Come on."

"Why won't it fucking work?" Tony growled, running his hand through his hair in frustration sinking down to sit on the floor of the lift.

"I don't know, Tony, I really don't." He sighed again. "All I can say suggest is leave it alone for a bit and it might come to you. In the meantime I'll have a look and so will Fitz, but you're done for the day."

"Bruce if I can't make it work and we can't close the portals then we're all screwed!"

"I know. It'll come right." He comforted. "But look, Tony, that's not what's worrying me right now."

"What is it?" Tony sighed frustratedly.

"Why did you shield me and not yourself?" Bruce asked pointedly.

Tony hesitated, uncharacteristically. "I can heal myself."

"That logic doesn't work Tony, you can heal me too."

"Yeah, but why would I let you get hurt in the first place? And there's the Hulk to consider."

"Why would you let yourself get hurt in the first place?" Bruce asked gently. "Pepper said you're not sleeping."

"I thought you all agreed you'd just leave me be." Tony snapped.

Bruce frowned, Tony had not been present during that conversation so how had the genius found out? "Did Rhodey tell you? Pepper?"

"No." Tony admitted with a huff.

"You heard us?" Bruce frowned.

"Not intentionally, let's just say the phrase 'ears burning' actually applies with the CAEB." Tony grunted. "Though my ears don't actually burn, it's just like, well I instinctively know when you lot are talking about me."

"Ok." Bruce frowned, a little concerned. "Well yes, we did, and you said it yourself, angry Tony is better than broken Tony right now, but that doesn't change the fact that this isn't healthy, and I'm worried about you. We're all worried about you."

"And I really can't go there right now Bruce. I'm barely holding it together, I'll admit that, but I think we've proved many times that talking doesn't help, it only makes things worse." The genius said sincerely.

"Fine. How about we go into the green room and I throw grenades at you?" Bruce offered.

Tony blinked and looked "Now who's the angry one? Isn't that a Hulk hazard?"

"I can handle it if you can and besides, it's the green room, even if you do blow me up the Hulk isn't going to do any damage."

"You should let him strut more often."

"I need him riled up and eager for this fight, so try not to provoke me too much." Bruce warned.

"I can't promise anything." Tony winked, and Bruce chuckled as a weak smile broke out across his best friend's face and it made the knot in Bruce's stomach unravel just that little bit. "Screw grenades, get the rocket launcher."

"Tony, I'm not firing a rocket launcher at you." Bruce frowned.

"Oh, come on, I know you want to." Tony teased.

"No, I really don't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's asking for trouble." Bruce pointed out.

"I can handle it." Tony said with a huff.

"You know what I don't doubt it, but I'm not going to be responsible if something goes wrong."

"And grenades can't go wrong?" Tony asked pointedly.

"Grenades don't threaten the structural integrity of the building." Bruce scoffed.

"Neither do rockets, it's the green room!"

"I said no Tony." Bruce said firmly.

"Fine, be boring." Tony conceded, and the elevator doors slid open. "I'll get Clint to do it later." He muttered under his breath. The Archer wouldn't be such a wimp.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Tony said innocently.

Clint fired another of the new arrows. They were beautiful, so was the bow and quiver. Everything was light, responsive and perfectly balanced. Considering Tony had probably never fired a bow in his life he had no idea how he made such a perfect weapon. The balance was so faultless, it almost took the skill out of firing it. With a bow such as this, a beginner would find it hard to miss. It felt weightless, but stable, stiff on the draw and had a range he had never dreamt of.

He got lost in the precision and beauty of each shot, he'd completely lost track of time and had barely noticed the presence of the other two people in the room. He closed his eyes and let another shot fire when he was brought back down to Earth by a voice.

"Clint…" Natasha said hesitantly.

"What?" He turned around to see Steve and Natasha looking shocked.

"That last shot…" Steve started.

"You missed the target." Natasha said, with a frown.

Clint turned around, utterly confused. But there it was. The arrow was buried into the wall behind the target. "What?" He shook himself in disbelief.

"Are you ok?" Steve asked in concern.

"Eh, yeah I…" Clint took aim again quickly and fired.

The arrow missed again.

"What the…" Clint looked at it in horror.

Natasha's eyes narrowed. She took out her pistol and fired three shots. They all hit dead center.

"What was that supposed to prove?" Clint said a little annoyed and highly embarrassed. "That the target isn't repelling arrows?" He barked.

"Maybe it's the bow?" Steve offered.

"There's nothing wrong with the bow!" Clint exploded.

"Clint calm down… I'm sure there's a rational explanation." Steve said, though his face was betraying his shock.

Natasha changed her clip and aimed again. Three shots. Three Bullseyes.

"Fuck's sake." Clint whined.

"Relax Clint." She smiled.

"How can I relax, I've lost it… I… I can't shoot anymore!"

"There's nothing wrong with your aim." She chuckled.

"What do you mean Nat?" He asked irately.

Then Natasha looked up and spoke deliberately loudly. "Because those last three shots I wasn't even aiming at the target, Stark!"

There was suddenly a deep chuckle from behind them and Clint spun around angrily.

"Busted." Tony smiled as the Archer glared at him.

Clint drew his bow rapidly and fired in the blink of an eye, but the arrow stopped in mid-air inches from its target, held by a blue shield, and the people in the room stared at it in both amusement and horror.

"You were going to shoot me in the balls!" Tony exclaimed in horror. "You little bitch!"

"You deserve it you moron!" Clint spat.

"Ok boys, ok, that's enough." Natasha stood between them still chuckling.

"What was that for?" Clint barked at Tony.

"That was for the pregnancy thing this morning." Tony folded his arms.

"Seriously! But that wasn't just me! Tash was the worst, Pepper, Rhodey… even Steve!" Clint protested.

"He got us earlier." Nat said simply.

"Oh yeah?" He asked, anger suddenly replaced by intrigue.

"Made me think he'd put Nair in my shampoo." Natasha glared. "Turns out it was just an illusion."

Clint balked, Jesus Shit, that was a risky move. "And she didn't kill you?" He asked Tony incredulously.

"No, I was in a good mood, and it took me all of ten seconds to realize none of you would dare do that." Natasha raised an eyebrow.

"What about you Steve?" Clint asked.

Steve blushed bright red. "He ermm, he…"

"I teleported him into a strip club." Tony said with a smirk. Now that was genius. Clint wished he could have seen the look on Steve's face. He wished he could have seen the look on the strippers' faces, bet they thought it was Christmas.

"You know it really isn't fair you pranking us when you have powers." Clint whined.

"Your just jealous Clint. You need to up your game birdbrain." Tony baited.

"What did you do to Pepper and Rhodey?" Natasha narrowed her eyes.

"Well, Rhodey spent two hours invisible with no one able to see or hear him." Tony said with a frown.

"Like that internet prank?" Clint asked.

"Pretty much."

"Did he cry like all the little brats in the videos?" The Archer chuckled.

"Disappointingly no. Actually, he seemed to quite enjoy it, so that kind of backfired." Tony huffed.

"And Pepper?" Natasha asked.

"I changed all the notes to her meeting to something not particularly appropriate for the board of directors. Again, she is obscenely prepared for these things so, it was barely an inconvenience, she just threw them in the trash." He sighed.

"Right, well, if you don't have any work to do, you should at least be resting, and we have to train so get lost Stark." Natasha ordered the distraction out of the room.

"Sure thing." Tony rolled his eyes and left them in peace.