AN: Thank you so much to everyone who has shared this story on various social media platforms. I got a tidal wave of new faces and it just made my heart so happy! Also, thank you to the guest reviewer who commented on last chapter about the Edward going off stage for interviews. The last awards show I watched, LOTR was up for awards. Needless to say, though I am familiar with other aspects of Hollywood, the awards side is something that is a bit foreign to me!
Without further ado...
...
Chapter 32: Edward
Friday, March 22
Los Angeles, California
32 Weeks
"Emmett, I swear to god, if you drop that box…" Tanya's threat trailed off and Emmett's booming laugh could be heard clear across the apartment. I smirked as I carried my own box in the door. Emmett and Tanya had been bickering all day, but it was pretty evident to all of us that their playful banter was quickly becoming a friendship. Rose had looked relieved that Emmett found someone about as loud as he was to mess with, and Jasper had looked like he felt the same way about Tanya.
I dropped the last box into the living room, glancing over at Bella who was sitting on the recently moved in sofa and unpacking a box of books. She was way too pregnant to do much more than open boxes, so as soon as the sofa had been brought in, I'd had her sit down and organize. She'd been handling my overprotective ass well the last few weeks.
"Remind me again why we didn't just hire a moving team?" I asked, settling the box next to Bella. She snickered.
"Tanya just wanted to see you sweat."
"Damn right I did," Tanya said, coming into the living room. I shook my head, barking out a laugh as Tanya grinned. "Come on. Oscar-winning Hollywood hunk working up a sweat in my new LA apartment? What girl hasn't had that fantasy?"
Chelsea snickered from where she was unpacking the kitchen and Bella laughed at my embarrassed ass.
"Next time, Tanya. I'm hiring you a crew," I told her. She smirked as she flopped on to the sofa.
"Nuh-uh. Next time you'll be a DILF. The fantasies evolve you know," she said shooting me a wink. Bella howled with laughter and I shook my head, slightly embarrassed. Jasper and Emmett came out of the bedroom, looking curiously at the women laughing around the room.
"Is it too late to revoke godmother privileges?" I asked Bella. She snorted.
"Way too late Cullen," Tanya said, settling on the sofa and wrapping an arm around Bella's shoulders. "I'm all moved into LA now. There's no getting rid of me."
I smiled at her teasing tone. All Tanya's embarrassing attention aside, I was really glad she was down here. Bella had been so fucking excited when Tanya had called and told us she was officially moving down in March.
"I'm fucking starving," Emmett groaned, settling on the sofa. Tanya glanced at him.
"Rose and Alice should be back soon," she said, glancing at her watch. As she spoke, the front door opened, and we looked up as Alice and Rose came in carrying large pizza boxes.
"Soups on!" Alice hollered, depositing a case of beer on the kitchen counter. Emmett was up off the sofa right away, and Rose shook her head as her massive husband grabbed a pizza to himself.
"I told you," she said, glancing at Alice. Alice snorted as Emmett started digging in.
"Hungry, baby?" I asked, looking at Bella. She nodded, trying to sit up from the sofa. I shook my head, motioning for her to stay sitting. I made my way over to the kitchen, grabbing a paper plate and a bottle of water from the fridge. I grabbed two slices of pizza, heading back to the sofa. I settled onto the sofa next to Bella. She lit up as I offered her the plate.
"Yum, thanks babe." She grabbed a slice and I took the other, setting the plate on my lap and wrapping my arm around her shoulders.
We all settled in with our pizza sitting in various spots around the living room. "So," Rose said, looking up at Tanya. "When do you have to start work?"
Tanya swallowed her bite of pizza. "I'm going into the new office Monday. I brought down a team with me from Seattle and we're supposed to get the ball rolling, though I have to start hiring a few positions soon."
"Well it shouldn't be hard, finding people who are interested," Alice said around a bite of pizza. "I mean, once word gets out that Bella's tied to you guys," she pointed out. Bella rolled her eyes and I smirked. Bella had been the talk of Hollywood after the Oscars. Everyone had raved about her dress, and how fucking radiant she was on the red carpet. Though she hadn't offered much in interviews on the carpet, what she had said had been enough to get people absolutely losing their shit over her. She'd charmed the city in a single evening, and now people were desperate for more.
"It's true. I'm already getting calls from Seattle and people here, wanting access to Bella," Tanya said nodding. Bella frowned.
"I'm not even famous. I was just there as arm candy," she huffed. I laughed, shaking my head.
"Gotta face it Baby. You're famous," I said, nudging her gently. Tanya nodded in agreement.
"You are. In fact, Hollywood over here is going to need to start winning more awards just to keep up with you. Or he'll be the one mooching off your A-List status."
Bella snorted and Emmett chuckled.
"Don't worry, Ed. Even if Bells here has to support your career, I'm still all for the Cullen-McCarty dynasty," he said shooting me a wink. Rose smacked him as he chuckled. Tanya snickered, apparently as pleased with the idea as Emmett was.
Bella groaned. "Keep it up, Emmett. We'll revoke godfather privileges," she said, pointing a finger at him. He chuckled.
"I'll be good," he promised with a cherubic smile. We'd decided last week on godparents, and both Emmett and Tanya had been ecstatic, as we'd hoped.
"How is the nursery coming?" Chelsea asked, swallowing a sip of her beer. Bella groaned and I smirked, shaking my head. We'd started a little late, and for some reason, Bella had insisted on doing a good chunk of the decorating ourselves. About a week in, she'd been exhausted and cranky and had just about given up on it, when I'd finally broken her down and convinced her to let me call in a team. She'd relented, but for some reason it was still a slightly sore subject for her.
"Edward's guys finished painting last week," Bella said, glaring at her pizza. I frowned at her. They'd done a beautiful job of the painting. The room was a stunning jade green that had been thinly applied over white walls, giving the room a powdery look. It was much better than either Bella or I could ever do on our own.
"How did it turn out?" Rose asked. I fished my phone from my pocket and pulled up the photos before showing her. Emmett leaned in to look at the photos before they passed the phone around the room.
"That looks awesome," Emmett said between bites of pizza. I nodded.
"I think so too." I glanced at Bella who was still scowling. "We have guys coming tomorrow to build the furniture," I said, looking back at our friends.
"What color?" Alice demanded.
"We got mostly sandy browns and white."
Alice nodded as she stared over the photo. "Awesome. Very beach zen," she approved. I nodded in agreement.
"That's what we were going for. We thought with the French doors that lead out into the yard, it would be a really nice flow between the inside and outside beach spaces." I glanced at Bella again. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, but she was staring down at her pizza with such focus, it was as if it was talking to her.
I looked away from her, catching Tanya's eye. Tanya was staring down Bella as well, a small frown on her forehead. She looked at me and shrugged lightly, her eyes cutting to Bella before cutting to me again. I nodded. If Bella wouldn't talk to me, she'd definitely talk to Tanya about it. I didn't want to push Bella in front of our friends, so I tried to steer to conversation away from Pip.
"Jasper, how is the school year going?"
Jasper looked up at me, startled, but then smiled and nodded a bit. "It's great. We're waiting to hear back on some funding that would allow us to build a new robotics lab. The application is solid, so it'll come down to the politics," he shrugged his shoulder. "But if we can get it approved, we'll be able to have a space to start bigger testing on our robots."
Alice grinned and reached out, placing a hand on his knee. "Jas is building space robots!" she beamed. Emmett leaned forward, curious.
"What? Seriously? What kind of space robots?"
Jasper shrugged, glancing at Alice indulgently before turning to us. "Uh, rovers and such. We're trying to develop robots with the ability to walk on four legs, to make traversing rocky places easier."
Emmett's eyes lit up, and I'm sure I looked the same. That was so fucking cool.
We kept pressing Jasper for details about the robots, and the more he talked about them, the more relaxed he looked.
At some point, I got up for more pizza, getting Bella a second slice as well. She nibbled on it, but in the end, ate about only half. I polished off my second piece as well as her left overs before Tanya ordered us into her bedroom to start assembling her dresser. I realized she was probably trying to get the girls alone for some time to chat, so Emmett, Jasper, and I headed over to start assembling, leaving the girls in the living room.
Tanya had a lot of furniture, and most of it needed assembly. I was hoping I could convince her to hire a team to do most of it, though I was willing to help out with a few pieces.
Emmett picked up the instructions to the dresser and grunted, handing them to Jasper. "Alright professor, this show is yours," he said shaking his head. Jasper snorted and looked over the directions.
"It looks simple enough," he said after a moment.
"Sure, when you build space robots for a living, a dresser is a piece of cake," Emmett muttered. Jasper smirked at him before directing Emmett and me to the first pieces.
We worked well together, the three of us. For as obnoxious and boisterous as Emmett could be, he had phenomenal focus. That's what made him so good at his job.
"How are things going with you and Alice," I asked Jasper as I worked on screwing a drawer together. Jasper looked up at me. He wasn't wearing his glasses today, and he reached up to his face, like he meant to push them up. It looked like a nervous habit. Instead, he scratched at his nose and smiled.
"Alice is incredible," he said, shaking his head. "I mean, it's been about six months, but…" he trailed off, smiling. "I can see spending the rest of my life with her."
I smiled. Alice, according to Bella, had felt that way after about a month with Jasper. I was relieved the feeling was two way.
"That's awesome, man," I said earnestly. Jasper smiled, looking a little anxious.
"I want to ask her to move in with me, but I'm not sure how that will work. She's so close to her work in downtown, and I need to be near campus because I work crazy hours," he shook his head. "I think part of her will be amenable to the idea, but I know how much her work means to her, and I don't want her to think she's going to jeopardize her career by moving further away."
Emmett shook his head. "Please, Alice is formidable. Even if you asked her to move out of state, she'd do it and find a way to kick serious ass in Hollywood. That's just how she rolls."
Jasper looked at him. "It feels like, I don't know, selfish to ask her to move to my place."
I shrugged. "If it's that big of a concern, maybe you two find a place together, somewhere in between, though I agree with Emmett. I think she'd be more than happy to move into your place. It doesn't matter where she lives, she'll get the job done."
Jasper smiled a little anxiously. "Maybe," he said, shaking his head. "We'll see."
I nodded, understanding. This was more than we'd ever really talked to Jasper before, and though I was happy he was willing to open up to us, it was a surprise. I was glad though, that he felt like he could talk to us about this. It was clear he was going to be in my life forever. Even if he and Alice broke up, he'd still be connected to us through Tanya.
"Hey, what was Bella's beef about Pip's room?" Emmett asked, lowering his booming voice. I glanced at him and sighed.
"I honestly have no idea. She wanted us to decorate Pip's room, but she's way too pregnant and it was such a strain on her to do that work. I finally convinced her to get a team in to paint and decorate and shit, but it's a sensitive subject for her now." I shrugged, helpless.
"Maybe it's about nesting," Jasper supplied. I looked at him, confused. "I mean, isn't that what it's called? Women create this space for their offspring, and it helps them prepare mentally and emotionally. It's all part of the process."
I frowned. "But she's physically unable to do that right now. She's had full control of the team, and everything in there has been per her instruction."
Jasper shook his head. "No, man. It's about her doing it herself. She's probably got these hormones that are directing her to nest, prepare for the baby, and it's probably frustrating not being able to follow her instincts."
I frowned. Was that true? Was that what was going on? I hadn't even considered this could be hormone driven. What the hell was I supposed to do if it was?
I looked at Jasper and Emmett, but they both shrugged, clearly at a loss of what to do as well. Fuck. I needed to talk to Bella.
…
I collapsed on our bed, groaning hard. Fucking hell, I was exhausted. Tanya had put us to work on as much furniture as she could. We'd fucking built just about everything in that apartment before we'd finally called it quits.
Bella giggled at me as she knelt down on our bed, her face hovering above mine. "Alright there?" she asked, her brown eyes warm with amusement. I huffed a laugh.
"I don't care what it costs, I'm paying someone else to do that work next time," I groaned. Bella snickered and reached down to kiss my chin before she sat up. I watched her. She hadn't looked like she'd been crying when we'd emerged from the bedroom, so I assumed Tanya hadn't been able to corner her like she'd been planning.
"Bella, can I ask," I paused, biting at my lip. Did I really want to open this can of worms? Fuck, I had to. "How are you feeling about Pip's room?"
The warm smile on Bella's face slipped away, and I instantly hated myself for bringing it up.
"It's nothing," she said, shaking her head. I sat up, groaning at my tired muscles, and reached out for her.
"Baby, talk to me."
She glanced at me, and her eyes were filled with tears. Fuck.
"It's stupid," she said weakly.
I shifted so that my legs were on either side of her. She wasn't on my lap, but that was alright, as long as I was close enough to hold her.
"Talk to me, love."
She huffed, and looked up at the ceiling. Tears were caught in her lower lashes and she shook her head. "I can't help but feel like I'm failing."
I frowned. "In what way?"
Bella looked at me, her eyes full of tears. "Renée decorated my nursery."
I blinked, surprised. "She did?" She'd never mentioned that before. Bella nodded and sucked in a deep breath.
"It was just about the only thing she did for me, but dad made sure I knew that she'd done that for me." She bit her lip, her tears spilling over her cheeks. "And I know it's crazy, and I'm crazy right now, but I feel like if Renée could manage to decorate my nursery, then I should be able to do Pips, because if I can't even do the minimum of what Renée did, then what good am I going to be at being a parent?"
She was near hyperventilating now, her tears streaming down her cheeks. I reached out to her, pulling her closer to me.
"Baby, stop, breathe," I told her. She took a shuddering breath as she leaned against my chest. I shifted so that she was in a more comfortable position, cradled against me. "Sweetheart," I started, then stopped. Fuck, how did I even begin to say all that I was thinking. "Just because you can't paint Pip's room, does not make you lesser than Renée. She did what she could, but baby, that was all she could do. You are not limited to her limitations," I said gently. "You've already shown me and all our friends and family that you're going to be an amazing mother. Baby, look how far you've come in only 8 months. Your whole life has changed, and you've done amazing work to make sure you're preparing yourself for Pip." I rubbed her back, shaking my head. "Hell, love, you've taught me about parenting, and Pip isn't even here yet."
Bella hiccuped against my chest and I sighed. "I know it's hard, baby, but Renée should not be your standard. Just because you can't pick up a paintbrush and paint for hours, does not mean none of your love or hard work has gone into that room."
Bella was quiet for a long moment, and I dropped a kiss to the top of her head, rubbing her back gently. After a few minutes, she sighed, shifting in my arms a bit and pressing a kiss to my chest.
"I'm crazy," she said softly. I shook my head.
"No, baby. You're not crazy."
She pulled back from me, sitting up and wiping at her eyes. "I just feel so guilty all the fucking time. Like I'm not doing enough for Pip, or that I started doing this shit too late."
I shook my head. "Baby, you're doing this all at exactly the right time. You needed time to process and come to these conclusions. If you'd tried to do any of this before you were ready, it wouldn't have been right." I reached out and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "You're not giving yourself enough credit," I whispered.
She blew out a soft breath. "I bought yarn the other day," she admitted. I frowned in surprise.
"What?"
Bella groaned and crawled off the bed, heading to the closet. She came back a minute later with an amazon box and set it on the bed. I looked in it. There was a bunch of yarn in varying shades of blues, greens, and greys. They were all the colors in Pip's room. I looked up at Bella.
"What is this for?"
Bella glared at the box. "I wanted to make Pip a blanket for the nursery. I figured I'd at least be able to contribute something."
I frowned, glancing back at the box. "I didn't know you could knit."
Bella snorted. "I can't. I've never fucking worked with yarn in my life."
I looked up at her in surprise and she looked up at me, looking a little embarrassed. I smiled.
"So, you thought you'd start by making Pip a blanket?"
Bella huffed. "I told you, I'm fucking crazy."
I laughed and shook my head. "Baby, I think it's amazing that you want to try to do this for Pip," I said shaking my head. "Even if the blanket doesn't get finished, the love you are trying to pour into Pip's life already is incredible. Pip is going to be the luckiest kid in the world," I told her. Her eyes welled with tears again.
"I'm just so tired of not being good enough at these mom things," she sighed. I shook my head, glancing at the box.
"Well, if this blanket means so much to you, why don't we try to make it together."
Bella's head snapped up and she gaped at me. "You knit?"
I laughed and shook my head. "My gran does, and I used to watch her when I'd go visit, but no, I've never knit in my life." I shrugged. "But hey, now we can learn something together."
Bella tossed the box aside, crashing into me. I laughed as we fell back against the bed. "I fucking love you so much," she whispered, pressing a hot kiss to my mouth. Instincts took over, and I wrapped my arms around her. I loved Pip, but I missed when Pip was smaller and not such a barrier between us.
"I love you too, baby."
She pulled back, nuzzling my nose with hers. I smiled at her, my hands snaking up under her shirt. "Should we start watching knitting tutorials?" I asked, my hands skimming up her sides. Her eyes nearly crossed as I brushed the outside of her breasts.
"Fuck the knitting," she growled. I grinned, bringing her closer to me and kissing the hell out of her. I knew as Bella got more and more pregnant that we'd likely stop having sex, but for now, I was going to take any and all opportunities she threw at me.
…
Thursday, April 25
Malibu, California
37 Weeks
"Christ on a cracker, Cullen!"
I looked up, startled to see Tanya sitting on the sofa. "Tanya, what are you doing here?"
She shook her head, her eyes glued to my chest. "The better question is, is this how you're always walking around?"
I glanced down. I wasn't wearing a shirt, having ditched it mid work out, and my workout shorts were hanging low on my hips. I felt a little self-conscious as I glanced back up at Tanya. She was still eyeing me appreciatively.
"I uh, was working out," I said motioning awkwardly to the stairs. Tanya snickered, shifting on the sofa.
"Yeah, no shit."
I shook my head, barking out a laugh. "Where is Bella?"
Tanya shrugged. "I'm breaking and entering," she said, leaning back on the sofa. I frowned, but just then, Bella came up the stairs, grunting.
"Fucking hell, these stairs," she groaned. I immediately moved over, wanting to offer her help of some kind. She wove me off with a tired smile. She looked at Tanya and smiled a little. "And yes, he does walk around like this. All the fucking time," she hissed, shooting me a look. I frowned. I had been under the impression she liked when I walked around like this. That was, of course, when it was easier for her to move and her sex drive was up. We hadn't had sex in a while, and though I missed Bella, I knew better than to fucking mention anything. Blue balls were nothing compared with the final weeks of pregnancy.
Tanya shook her head as Bella settled on the sofa. "Better watch yourself, B. You're going to be knocked up again in no time if he keeps this up."
Bella slapped her arm and Tanya howled laughing. "Don't you put that on me," Bella grunted. I shook my head.
"Anyone want anything from the kitchen?" I asked, motioning to my original destination with my thumb. Bella looked up at me.
"Tea?" she asked. I nodded. Tanya requested a water and I slipped into the kitchen. Bella was due in fucking days. I was both extremely excited and absolutely petrified. I was ready to meet Pip, though I felt like I was nowhere close enough to being ready to be a father.
I worked around the kitchen, making Bella a cup of tea while I poured myself a glass of water. I wasn't opposed to the idea of a couple kids. I'd been an only child, and while it had worked out for me, there was a lot of things I felt I'd missed out on from not having a sibling. I hadn't dared mention anything to Bella though. That was a conversation that was still years ahead of us, if I ever dared to bring it up.
For now, I was more than happy to focus all my attention on Pip.
I got together the tea and water for Bella and Tanya and brought the cups out to them. I set the cups down on the coffee table, then leaned over to Bella. "I'm going to shower, then I'll be back," I said kissing her softly. She nodded.
"Take your time, we've got book stuff to catch up on," she said glancing at Tanya. Tanya nodded. I smiled and slipped downstairs to hop in the shower. Despite Bella's suggestion, I showered quickly, not wanting to linger when I knew the girls were waiting on me. I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt before heading back upstairs. When I hit the living room, Tanya looked up at me.
"Great timing," she said standing up. I nodded and came to sit on the sofa next to Bella. Tanya grabbed the large basket of yarn we kept near the sofa and plopped it on the coffee table. "I watched this video last night about this new kind of stich," she said handing needles to Bella and me. "It's advanced, but hey, I'm a fast learner."
I snorted. Bella and I had sat down to learn how to knit and it had been a fucking disaster. I'd been ready to fly in my 82-year-old grandmother to teach us, but Bella had talked to Alice, and Alice had been able to direct us to a friend of hers. A few lessons with her, and we'd figured out enough of the basics to make squares.
Alice, being Alice, had told our entire friend group, and suddenly, our friends had been very invested in learning how to knit. Our baby blanket had turned into an event that everyone was taking part in. Thankfully, all we had to do was make squares, and Alice's friend had promised she'd help us sew them together.
Tanya grabbed some yarn and handed it to each of us. I was getting better at knitting, though some of my rows still looked a little uneven. Bella was better at it than me, but her attention span was short, meaning she often forgot what sort of stich she was supposed to be working on. She'd had to unravel several rows per each square we'd made.
"TV?" I asked. Bella and Tanya nodded, and I grabbed the remote from the coffee table. I pulled up some planet earth rerun that Bella loved and settled back in, ready to knit.
If you told me last year my life would be knitting and nature documentaries on the sofa, I would have never fucking believed it. Now, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Pip's room was finished, just awaiting the baby blanket that would hang over the crib. We'd gotten a bassinet for our room, and that was where Pip would be for the first few months, so technically we had more time to finish the room, but the team had done exceptional work in getting it all taken care of.
Had the baby blanket been up to Bella and me, it would barely be anywhere, but our friends stepping in meant it was nearly two thirds done already.
We sat and knit and watched the show in relative peace. Tanya was always on when we were in a big group, and it had surprised me the first time I got to see her alone with Bella. She was surprisingly patient and down to earth, and though she still made sassy, sexual comments toward me, they were typically minimized. It was easy to see why Bella loved her so much.
I'd also come to love spending time with Jasper and Emmett. They'd come over last week to watch baseball and knit. Jasper had been a quick study with it, and had figured it out easily enough, but it had been Emmett who had been the most surprising. He was actually really great at knitting and had churned out twice the number of squares Jasper and I had been able to produce. I knew Emmett was pretty dexterous and good with his hands—he had to be for work—but it had turned out that growing up, he used to knit with his mom and sisters.
Our friends were full of unexpected skills and talents.
On top of our friends helping out, my parents had both contributed squares. Mom knew how to knit, because gran had taught her, but she hadn't knitted since she was a kid. She and dad had come over and we'd taught them how to knit, and they'd both been able to produce a square for the blanket. Bella had gotten package yesterday from Sue that had included squares knit by both Sue and Charlie, as well as squares from Seth, Leah, and Sam. Bella had been weepy about it all day. All of our loved ones were coming together to give us this incredible gift, and it meant a tremendous amount to both of us.
I knew that no matter what faced us, Pip was going to get to grow up in world of unconditional love, and I was so grateful for that.
...
AN: These two throw curve balls at me all the time, but the knitting really came out of nowhere! I was shocked, then delighted when that started to unfold.
One more regular chapter (I'm guessing you all can predict what it will be about!) and then epilogues etc. I have an epilogue written, as well as one more additional scene. I'm considering doing an outtake as well, but I'm still not sure on what that should entail, so if you have requests for an outtake, let me know!
Thank you so much to all my loyal readers and to all the new readers that have just joined us! This has been such an incredible journey for me, and having you all be apart of it has just made it that much sweeter!
Finally, I am trying to prep to post some teasers for my new story on Facebook, so if you friend me (link on profile), hopefully you'll see that soon!
xx
