I was walking in the halls of the Ame hide out wearing my Akatsuki cloak with Minato at my side like I owned the place.
Minato had his hands in the pockets of his jeans, with a black t-shirt with red clouds on it. He'd apparently had it in his storage scrolls for years from Yahiko in the other dimension.
A present of sorts.
Minato figured it would be funny if he wore it as we made our way to meet with Obito. I suppose we'd see if it actually made anyone laugh.
Though I doubted they'd even be impressed. Even if the shirt was well made and looked absolutely amazing on Minato's thin frame.
I led the way, following the scents of cooking that began to permeate everything. Konan truly must be taking my cook book seriously then.
Good.
I paused and looked around the main room at the whole crew eating food and taking up all available seats. Kakuzu and Hidan were eating on the couch, Sasori was heckling Deidara about art on another couch as Deidara tried to eat his food and argue back. Kisame was eating and low key listening in on Deidara and Sasori while Itachi was suffering from Tobi chattering to his face while he sat on the table in front of the mass murderer.
Nagato and Konan were there as well, and eating at the table across from Itachi and Kisame.
"Oh! It's Severus-chan and...Yondaime!?" Obito shrieked as he fell off the table with shock.
Minato recognized Obito instantly, and glanced towards me with a raised eyebrow. I just gestured for him to do something as I kept my eyes on everyone else lazily. Minato cleared his throat, getting everyone's attention as he took a small step forward.
"Ah hi, I'm Minato Namikaze and the husband of Oro-chan." Minato waved with a sheepish smile. Everyone tensed perceptively, readying for a potential fight with the only man known to gain SS-rank in the bingo books and a flee on sight order.
Minato brought his hands up in a soothing manner and quickly caught the kunai someone threw at his head.
He pocketed it.
"Don't worry, I don't care about the world domination plans, I support Oro-koi with anything he does!" He reassured happily.
Of course he didn't care. We were still going to usurp their ten tails and get the fuck outta this dimension. Not that anyone knew that.
Nagato didn't even stop eating as he watched us lazily, nonchalantly showing how much he trusted me. Which in turn made everyone else relax in response. If their leader trusted me enough, even as I brought the famed yondaime into their midst, then they could trust me too.
Obito quickly got up from the floor and flickered to Minato to walk around him curiously. I could sense that he was feeling extremely conflicted, as well as eager to understand why he was here in the first place.
He stopped in front of me and tilted his head.
"Is he from your dimension too Severus-chan?" Tobi bubbled as Minato studied him with a slight frown.
I could tell Minato was completely floored by his ex-students personality.
He was like a twelve year old high on sugar.
I had no doubt that he most likely was high on sugar with the collection of lollipops filling his pockets.
"Yes, actually we came here to talk to you Tobi-senpai. You're probably the only person that can help us at this point, really." I said as I grabbed Minato's hand and threaded our fingers together. Minato squeezed my hand in response and smiled at Obito warmly.
Obito perked up at that, and ignored Minato's look completely. He was just eager to pay his debt to me, and he showed it by happily saluting like a soldier. "Whatever you need Severus-chan! Tobi will help!!" He agreed readily.
"Excellent! Let us reconvene in my room later on then, I'd like to try some of Konan-chan's cooking if there's any left." I hummed as I looked towards Konan.
She nodded immediately. "There's plenty, Severus-sama." She said with obvious respect in her tone. A respect that everyone in the room took note of.
Itachi was watching us with slightly narrowed eyes and obvious confusion. He clearly didn't know how I'd received the three leaders trust within such a short time.
I let go of Minato's hand and led the way passed the table to the counter to pack myself a plate unrepentantly. I'd done a lot to earn that respect, and I wasn't going to let myself feel the least bit guilty about using that respect to steal the bijuu from under their noses when the time came.
We had everything ready.
The diamond room was built in the Kamui dimension with everything we could ever need inside. A kitchen for cooking, a bathroom for washing and defecating, a large bed for sleeping, and a rugged living room area where we would do our training.
There was even a little cubby built into the door for Obito to place scrolls filled with food to last four months for two people inside everyday.
I made sure to leave a list of the types of food we'd require. (Non-perishables, and foods that followed my nutrition guide)
We'd be depending on him for our survival for the next three years in here. He'd be in charge of giving us food, and keeping us safe in his dimension, and making sure our whereabouts were never leaked to anyone. He was practically brimming with excitement at our dependence towards him.
This was definitely more than enough to pay his debt to me for healing his body to perfection and getting rid of the obedience seal on his heart. As well as for killing off Zetsu.
I was finishing up the seals on the walls of the inside of the room when Minato decided now was a good time to talk to Obito.
"You really are helping us a lot here, Obito. I'm proud of you." Minato grinned as he ruffled Obito's hair.
Obito stiffened with shock at the way Minato had easily recognized him. Before he looked away sheepishly and took off his mask.
"Ehh..I'm doing it for Severus-chan, sensei.." Obito fumbled as his face reddened a little from embarrassment.
"Really? In my dimension you wouldn't be caught dead doing anything for Orochimaru." Minato chuckled fondly. "Thanks all the same."
"Mhm.."Obito nodded sullenly. He clearly wasn't all that interested in talking to the man who's counterpart he'd inadvertently murdered via Kyuubi.
Minato thought nothing of it. In his universe he didn't die, so he didn't have a grudge about it.
Obito turned to me as I inked out the final touches of the seals.
"Did I also get abducted by an evil old man and brainwashed there?"
Minato just laughed and answered for me. Even though he clearly wasn't the one being talked to anymore. "Probably, but we just thought you were dead and had Orochimaru here revive you into a new body. You never told us you had been alive the whole time, I just guessed when I realized you had the same power as the man that killed Kushina while she was giving birth to my son."
"..ah, sounds like me." Obito said with well hidden guilt. He looked away from the man again and tried to talk to me once more. Before he immediately caught on to what Minato said. "Wait, did he say revive?"
Damn it, Minato.
I finished my seals then and turned to rustle Obito's hair, channeling soothing chakra to the tips of my fingers to calm him down. He was being his usual Uchiha self and making accurate accusations in his mind. Probably realizing I could revive Rin and make all of his plans completely null.
I wasn't gonna go reviving anyone until I finished this training though, so the boy would have to be patient.
"I revived thousands upon thousands of people, invented immortality and shared it with everyone in a new village I created, and ended up with the shinigami as an enemy. It's one of the reasons we're here right now asking for your assistance. Tobi-senpai." I explained succinctly. "I stole one two many souls and got marked."
"One to many souls you say." Obito repeated with a darkened expression. "How exactly did you manage that?"
Minato took that chance immediately to go into one of his poorly received fuinjutsu speeches. Obito stared as my husband continued to talk about how great fuinjutsu is and how Obito should really learn more about it before getting started on teaching the bare basics.
"That doesn't make any fucking sense." Obito spat when Minato started pulling out notebooks to explain himself easier. I was actually glad for Minato's timely distraction. If it got Obito off my case about the fact that I could revive people then all was well.
Though it probably wouldn't stop Obito from remembering this later and pissing him off. Sometimes I wondered exactly what went through my husbands mind.
For now though, Obito needed some saving from Minato's fuinjutsu talk.
I quickly put my hand on Minato's shoulder to stop him from continuing. It was obvious that Obito had no interest in the art, even if he wanted to get Rin revived.
"That's enough Mina, it's better to get started on our training sooner rather than later." I urged. "We're wasting days already,"
Minato just sighed as he gave his once student in another dimension a disappointed look. He could spot a lost cause from a mile away.
Obito just picked at his ear and yawned with obvious boredom. He'd forgotten how much of a bore his sensei could be whenever fuinjutsu was mentioned. Though he was sure it hadn't been this bad in his childhood.
"Fine, but you owe me hours of fuinjutsu talk Oro-chan. I have 25 years worth of untested seal ideas to show you." Minato said with growing excitement. "I have this idea for a torture seal that makes it impossible to ejaculate unless certain conditions are fullfilled-"
Obito quickly gagged, interrupting Minato with how loud the sound was. Minato looked at him with an unimpressed frown.
"You'll have to show me that one immediately, Mina." I smirked as ideas for pranks on certain couples in Konoha ran through my mind.
Obito took that chance to vanish out of the Kamui dimension.
The both us smiled at each other, our thoughts a mirroring as he nodded.
He then went to close the diamond door and activated the seals.
We had hundreds of years of training to get started on.
One of the greatest issues Akatsuki had was their lack of funds. They had needed money for so many different things.
They were the leaders of Ame, so half the money went to the village, a quarter went to the members so they could afford their gear and maintain their weapons. A tenth of the money now went to continuously filling the fridge and freezers with nutritious food for everyone.
They also had to pay Kakuzu just to keep him in Akatsuki. His budgeting skills were greatly needed for the village and their organization.
Obito would have to be honest, if they lost Kakuzu, the whole village would fall apart before Nagato could figure out a solution. Sure he embezzled them not so secretly, but he always made sure there was enough to keep everything running perfectly.
However, after they managed to luck out and bring Severus into the organization things had changed.
The village was growing to become successfully self-sufficient. Technology was advancing thanks to the medical texts given freely to the hospital, and homeless people were gathered into a shelter made entirely out of diamonds.
Obito didn't know if Severus had been trying to make a statement by putting the poverty stricken street people into an unbreakable house of diamond that couldn't be taken apart and sold for money. Obito didn't know what kind of message it was supposed to send if it was a statement.
Not that it mattered, he couldn't really ask about it anyway for another three years. Anyway, with the village needing a lot less money due to no longer needing to bring in resources from outside sources, Obito could use those funds elsewhere.
Which was why he decided to give his workers paid vacations two at a time, starting with himself, Deidara and Itachi. (He wasn't going to tell Kakuzu he was spending their money on vacations)
So that was what he was currently doing. Heading to their vacation spot on the ocean reefs south of Suna. There was a nice little fishing village there with tourist attraction activities he could take the children on!
Teens. Whatever. It didn't matter what they were, they were a decade and a half younger than him and the youngest in the group and they needed some time to be kids.
"Tobi, you said we had a mission in Suna Sakana, hm? What did leader-sama say it was about hm?" Deidara asked as he steered the giant bird to their destination. His blonde hair blowing backwards in the wind like a curtain.
Obito was directly behind him, while Itachi was sitting to his left and staring northwest blankly. Obito had his work cut out for him if he wanted these kids to have any sort of fun. He knew that neither of them would have gone on vacation with him if they'd known the truth. Itachi probably would have gone to go spy on his brother for two months, while Deidara did whatever. Obito didn't really know Deidara that well despite having him in the group for four years already.
So Obito had told them they were on a two month long mission, and that he'd tell them about it when they got there. He was still scrambling for some sort of idea on the fake mission he'd assigned them.
"Tobi was told to keep it secret! The client didn't want anybody knowing the mission, only the person in charge, like Tobi!" Obito lied happily, almost frantically.
Itachi turned to look at Obito from the corner of his eyes blankly, though the suspicion in that gaze was palpable. Obito felt himself sweat a little. He didn't know how he was going to pull the wool over Itachi's eyes.
"Okay, hm. So what's the first thing we'll be doing hm?" Deidara asked as he roved his eyes over endless sands.
"First Tobi has to check us into the hotel, and then Tobi will take us shellfish hunting!" Obito grinned proudly.
Deidara looked back at Obito, his hair whipping Obito's mask as he frowned. "What the fucks a shellfish hm? Can I blow it up, hm?"
"Deidara-san! We can't blow up the mission! Shellfish are super expensive!" Obito flailed nervously. Obito never went shellfish hunting before, and he really wanted to try it out.
He didn't want Deidara ruining it by blowing up the shores and destroying the shellfish habitat! Besides, he wanted to make sure they had enough to last four months by the end of the day so he can put them in todays food scroll.
"That sucks, hm. I wonder why someone paid the Akatsuki to go shellfish hunting in Sakana village hm." Deidara shrugged as he turned around to face the front of the bird again.
Itachi didn't say anything as he went back to staring off into the distance.
Obito wondered if maybe Itachi had a grudge against him. In all the weeks he'd been trying to talk to Itachi, Itachi had only responded with the occasional grunt. Even then it was becoming rare to hear a peep out of him anymore.
Obito was just gonna have to try harder he supposed. He'd weasel his way into his heart eventually. Somehow.
After another hour of travelling at high speeds in the air, the three finally made it into the beautiful civilian village called Suna Sakana. It was one of the only places in the land of wind that had green grass, trees, and a fresh water source along with a beautiful view of the ocean on the cliff's edges.
"At least it's pretty, hm. You think they got hot springs hm?" Deidara asked Obito as he brought the clay bird down to the entrance of the village.
"There's public baths! Tobi heard they were very pretty!" Obito said enthusiastically as he hopped off the bird. Itachi and Deidara hopped off with him shortly after.
Deidara pocketed his giant bird into his hip pouch before looking at Tobi curiously. "Public baths, hm? Does that mean we'll get to see your face hm?"
Obito felt a little creeped out by Deidara's constant eagerness to peek under his mask. It was probably a teenager thing, to want to know everything or something. Obito never got to experience his teenage years properly so he wasn't really sure.
"If Deidara-san and Itachi-san complete the mission without any complaints then Tobi will show his face!" Obito decided firmly with a nod. It wasn't like they'd recognize him anyway. Itachi had been three when he went missing, there was no way he'd remember what he looked like.
Even if Obito had been made to babysit the brat a few times for D-ranks as a genin.
Somehow that managed to get both Itachi and Deidara interested. Which was great and terrible at the same time. He could get them to do all the fun things he had planned for them without questioning him, but he'd have to show them his face by the end of it all.
"This must be a really important mission, hm? If your willing to go so far, hm." Deidara commented with interest as the both of them followed him to the hotel.
"Yup! So you two better enjoy yourselves because this mission isn't gonna make any sense to you at all!" Obito giggled happily as he bounced along.
I opened my eyes slowly as I carefully brought myself out of meditation. My stomach growling intensely from hunger.
The techniques we were using closely resembled what I figured cultivation would be like in those Chinese cultivation novels back in my previous life. There were stages and everything to it.
After three years Minato had finally broken through the first level, while I had already broken through two of them. I think it had to do with soul potential or something.
My soul took in the essence of the universe at a higher rate than Minato's did. With every level passed, our lifespans basically doubled, and with how quickly the two of us were advancing in comparison with the Uzukage, we'd most likely live for thousands of years.
According to the scrolls, the Uzukage had taken two lives just to pass the first level, and had gotten as far as the sixth level by the time his village was destroyed. Of course it didn't help the man that he couldn't spend all his time on cultivation like we could. He'd had a village to run, and he also had to relearn how to use his chakra in each life before even starting to cultivate again.
The shinigami had really made it hard on the Uzukage to get stronger within a short amount of time.
He sounded like a real asshole to me.
I stretched out my body to loosen myself up after sitting still for ten hours straight. Once I was done I went through a quick little work out and looked at Minato as he slowly broke out of his own meditation. With my body all loose and comfortable, I listened to my stomach and went to the cubby to grab the scroll waiting for us.
I opened it and took the scroll and closed the cubby quickly before opening the scroll and taking out the food Obito left for us.
I blinked when thousands of raw shellfish spilled out of the scroll and covered the floor.
That was when Minato finally opened his eyes and scrunched his face up with disgust at the smell of fish that drowned their senses.
He also blinked at the pile of shellfish covering the rugs on the diamond floor. "Are we supposed to eat shellfish for the next four months?"
I stared at the pile of stinky shellfish with disgust before checking if there was anything else in the scroll.
A pile of canned oranges came out, crushing a bunch of the shellfish and making the juices of the things seep into the rugs.
"That fucking-!!" I swore as I threw the scroll at the wall.
Canned oranges and shellfish!? For four fucking months!? That was the worst combination in existence!!
"Ehh!? Is this really all we have for the next four months!?" Minato flailed as he quickly got up and sorted through the crushed shellfish and canned oranges. He was desperate as he dirtied his pretty light blue jeans in the mess.
There was nothing else. Not even a note.
"We still have our ration bars.." I hissed sourly as I went to the kitchen and opened the cupboards to reveal the hundreds of ration bars we'd been given last time.
"Fuck." Minato swore.
