People seemed to forget Merlin was not deaf, or maybe they just didn't care. Because they really liked to let Merlin catch them talking about him. his mother and Uther do it all the time and now Morgana and Arthur were doing it. Merlin had been coming down the stairs, trying to go get something to eat, because he had now spent two whole days holed up in his room and Morgana had only been bringing him soup, as if that would help anything. Merlin didn't have a cold, but she didn't seem to know what else to do. Now however, Merlin stood on the last step of the stairs, listening as Morgana and Arthur argued in the hall, about him...of course.

"I don't understand what's wrong with him..."

"Hunith treats him like rubbish and you're the first one to admit it," Morgana was yelling at Arthur. "You're all for recognizing it at once, but if it's you whose causing him the problem, you don't see it? You don't understand..?" She let out a huff and paused, in that time Arthur didn't say anything either. "He doesn't need your bullshit on top of everything else."

"How am I supposed to fix it?" said Arthur then. "I thought we were okay..."

"You need to understand the damage you caused, stop giving excuses," argued Morgana. "Be a man and take responsibility. You and Uther never fucking do that...just admit you were wrong, for once."

"I DID!" Arthur shouted back.

"But you don't mean it, you still don't think you were wrong...you think you can do whatever you want, like you're something special and you're not!" Morgana shot back, loudly and very viciously. Arthur didn't say anything and there was another long pause. "...out of the two of us he was closer to you...you're not stupid, Arthur, you know what it is."

"What do you mean was?"

"You put a fucking wall right between you two by betraying him. Do you think it will ever be the same again?"

There was another pause and then, "I don't know..."

There was a lot of shuffling around then and Merlin didn't exactly know what to do, so he turned and went up four steps and then turned back around, by the time he did this Arthur was at the bottom of the steps. He didn't look at Merlin nor say anything, as he pushed passed him to go up the stairs. Merlin wasn't sure if he had wanted him to say anything or not. He walked into the kitchen now and Morgana was aggressively throwing a pot on the stove, it made a loud bang as she did. She was clearly very irritated from the conversation she had just had with her brother and Merlin didn't mean to be causing so many problems. But he had to think, that it wasn't really his fault and they fought all the time anyway.

"No more soup, please," said Merlin and Morgan jumped a little, turning around now and her look was dark until she realized it was Merlin.

"Soup is good for you," she argued, but her features had lightened and now she was just standing there looking at Merlin, like he might drop dead or something.

"It's too hot out for soup..."

"What do you want instead?"

"Ice cream would be good," Merlin smiled and Morgana rolled her eyes. Forgoing the pot, she walked over to the freezer and pulled it open.

"How about an ice poppy?"

"Ugh...fine, but I won't like it."

Merlin in no way felt better, or at all healed, no matter now much soup Morgana pumped into him. But he loved Morgana, he really did and he saw no reason not to treat her with the respect and kindness she deserved.

"I want you to get dressed and come out with me," she was saying now. "I'm going to mall with my friend Mordred, you can come."

Merlin's face turned up in distaste at the idea. " No, thanks."

"You need to get out, you spend all day and night in your room..."

"I like it in there, all of my stuff is in there...my dog is there, my guitar," as Merlin said this, he realized both things had been given to him by Arthur and he wanted to die slightly again. "Ugh..." he said out loud, without meaning to. Morgana noticed and frowned. "I really don't need to go...I don't want to be a third-wheel."

"It's not a date, he's gayer than you," said Morgana. Merlin glared at her.

"Leave me alone..."

"I was kidding, Merlin..." she said, with a smile. "But no, really...you should go."

"I need to figure out what I am doing with my life, Morgana, I don't need to go to the mall."

"You're sixteen, Merlin, not thirty-two...you don't need to figure everything out yet," Morgana retorted and maybe Merlin hadn't really meant to say that, even if he had been thinking it a lot the last few days. It had just sort of came out.

"I hate my life," he admitted now, though he saw no reason why this should be shocking to her. She still frowned either way. "I want to find a way to make it better." That used to be Arthur, but it couldn't be anymore. He had been the little light where there was otherwise a Hunith sized blackness, but he had tainted his light now and Merlin needed something else to hold onto. He didn't add any of that part though.

"Okay," said Morgana, but Merlin could tell she was bothered by this, that she was worried. She had a right to be, but at the same time Merlin had a right to be miserable, he had a right not to be passive anymore either. Maybe he still couldn't do anything about his mother, maybe he never could, but he didn't need her. He hadn't needed her all of his life and now, because he had no other choice he was stuck with her...but it didn't always have to be this way.

Merlin ate the rest of his poppy alone, because Morgana left. Either because her worry had gotten too much for her and she couldn't look at him anymore or because she needed to get ready to go to the mall. Either way, once Merlin was done, he went back upstairs to his room. Fifteen minutes later Morgana stuck her head into his room and told him she was leaving, he barely heard her, as he searched on his phone for jobs. He had deiced last night that he needed to work, not fulltime as he had to go to school, but part time. Start saving up money now, for a flat...

He needed to make changes in his life and he wasn't going to wait forever, he wasn't going to wait for them to happen to him. He was going to make them happen himself.


(A/N: So, I saw someone say (and I don't know if it was here or the other place I post this story,) that they hope I make a sequel and I don't know if I said this or not at some point, but I am not ending this now, I am not making a sequel, I just continued on with the story. Because I changed how I wanted the story to go and it really made no sense to end it while all the drama with Gwen was happening. So, that being said, I have no idea how many chapters this will be. I now have it up to around 40, I've written about like 8 chapters (a surge or inspiration hit me, lowkey,) since I updated last. So, I have no idea how many chapters it will be total, but I'm not really worried about it, they're not too terribly long chapters, so it should be fine. Also, I know this chapter is kinda short (even for this story,) but the next one will be longer. I hope you enjoy!)