In Time, Death
By Alesyira
Summary: Shippo thinks Kagome's problem could potentially be a bad one, so efforts are made to figure out how to deal with it.
Author's Note: so uh, things definitely start getting spicier from here on out.
A Bad Idea
They lounged in the middle of the courtyard that evening, worn out from Shippo's impromptu strength building exercise. She was sore from calves to shoulders. Rolling into a stretch to work out a pain along her back, she glanced at him sitting nearby, cross-legged as he plucked debris from one of his tails.
‟This thing with the bad reaction to that magic… There's gotta be some way to tone it down. Fight it off, learn how to control the reaction, you know? It can't be just a total weakness, right?"
He flicked the tail and leaned back, folding his hands behind his head as he stared up at the cloudless night sky. ‟Maybe. Or in exchange for your new great time-travel power you've gotta have a balancing shit weakness to make you somehow beatable."
She rolled her eyes. ‟Oh yeah, because the badguys will all be pretty males trying to coerce me into bed."
He was quiet for a while as his brain jumped between possibilities. Tiny bits of magic. Moments of her madness. He could easily keep her at bay if the next attempts all ended up like the last time, but he couldn't count on things being that simple. As soon as you started assuming things would be easy, everything devolved into chaos.
Plan for the worst.
‟I think we can try a few things, but..." He rolled onto his side and peered at her with a thoughtful frown.
‟But?"
He blew out a heavy breath between pursed lips. "I bet it's gonna get weird."
"I feel like I don't really want to know, but how do you mean weird? You're just going to…" she trailed off.
"Well, yeah. I can just ping you with some magic to help you build up tolerance, or at least learn how to keep your head under the influence. But…" he laughed and sat up. ‟I can't imagine how many times I'm going to end up jumping out of a window to escape or waiting on the roof for you to come back to your senses. And what if you tried to follow me out the window because you've gone mindless-crazy to get kisses?" He mimed her swan-diving from a high place to splat on the courtyard stones.
She winced. ‟Good point," she muttered.
He shook a finger at her. "I try to protect you from everything I can, but I can't be held responsible for your actions!" He coughed and crossed his arms over his chest, looking away from her with a short laugh. "Yeah, this is gonna get weird."
She bit her lip, feeling awful that fixing her problem might make things weird between them. Maybe she shouldn't have even brought it up. If he felt so awkward about it, she could probably ask someone who might not mind so much. "Maybe I can… ask Kurama?" she murmured, staring down at her fingers as she tried to smooth down a chip in one of her nails.
"No!" he immediately protested, reaching out for her fingers. "I mean, yes. But, not yet. Kami, this is gonna be a mess." He shaved the chip smooth with the edge of his claw and brushed it off with his thumb. He smirked at her. "Look, we'll need to plan this kinda carefully, but I should probably try helping you first. It'll be okay."
She tilted her head. ‟You're thinking we'll need to bring in others?"
‟Eventually." He shook his head. ‟But before any of that, we probably need to decide who is gonna chaperone."
She stared at him in surprise. ‟You want someone to watch?"
He pressed his lips together. "When we did just a little to fix your injury and try to prove you wrong, you…" He paused. ‟You behaved very… out of the ordinary. And I'd never consider myself to be a pushover, but with you…" He turned his eyes skyward, unable to look at her.
"Yeah, I need someone with their head on straight to…" He paused again. Oh for the love of… He took a deep breath. I'm an adult. I've done this a thousand thousand times before. "We're going to need someone with their head on straight, because it's only rational that a pretty girl demanding kisses from me is eventually going to demand in the right way, in a way that I won't remember or care why I shouldn't say yes." He turned to her with a serious expression and added on in a low voice, ‟Unless you really don't care if any practicing we do ends with us fucking, we need a chaperone."
She chewed her lip in contemplation. She did not want anyone in the family sitting with them while they tried this. Hiei might be an option, but he said he'd be gone for a few days. "Who would you want to be there?"
He rubbed his hands down his face, hiding his grimace. "No one. You behaving like that is not something I'd want anyone to see. Ever."
"It's that bad?"
He laughed. ‟A bit." He bit his lip and looked at her from the corner of his eye. ‟Actually, it's hilariously bad, especially because you don't know what you're doing." She shoved her hand into his shoulder as he giggled.
He sighed and turned his attention to his claws, nonchalantly inspecting the tips. "I've tried to be real careful where you're involved, Kagome. I absolutely do not want to ruin the friendship with my favorite person just to have some fun. You don't see me like that."
He could see the protest forming and held up a hand. "Humans are weird. I know you love me, but you don't wonder what it would be like to kiss me or how nice it would be to hold me in your arms, not like I've seen you thinking about Hiei."
She did wonder those things about Hiei, she didn't deny it. But she hadn't thought about Shippo like that because they were already so close. There was no mystery about how it would feel to hold him because he held her every night so she could sleep. She hadn't put serious thought into what it might be like to kiss him because he had been so casual and goofy about every interaction, even discussions about possible relationships, that she didn't realize he might actually be interested in her like that.
She felt her heart sink as she looked into his eyes, his serious stare out of place on his normally joyful face. Had she misread him, or had he misread her?
For him, it wasn't like that, though, was it? He didn't feel like boyfriend material. She didn't think he treated her like girlfriend material. The way he spoke so casually about sex, he didn't view a physical relationship as a declaration of love, a statement of intent to marry, or a claim that meant mine forever. She turned her face away from him before he could see the smile creeping over her lips that betrayed her amusement. They'd joked he'd probably roll around with anything, given the chance. (but he had standards, thank you very much)
Was he so careful and casual around her because he was afraid of taking their friendship in a direction that he thought her heart didn't want to go?
Shippo couldn't stand the silence any longer. "I've seen humans go crazy about their partners after getting physical with someone. I don't understand what causes it. If something goes wrong between us, there will be heartbreak, anger, regret, or worse." He took her hands in his own and drew her attention back to his earnest expression. "I would rather cling to a platonic relationship for the rest of our lives than ruin what we have with a mistake."
She looked at him with suspicion. "Are you saying the only reason you're worried about this is because I might get crazy over you? What about you getting crazy over me?"
He laughed, the somber mood broken. "I've been crazy over you for hundreds of years, and now that I've got you back it's even worse." He slid his fingers through his hair and a chunk of it stayed standing up in a ridiculous direction. "I'm not sure if I want to steal you away to hide somewhere no one else can ever see you again, or if I want to…" he trailed off, unwilling to finish that sentence. "Kagome, I am not keeping you at arm's length because I don't want to play with you, I'm trying to be polite so that you can do what you want in the order that makes sense to your heart."
She reached over to pat his hair back into place. ‟So… what you're saying is that… you're not bothered by the fact that I tried to molest you."
He shrugged and leaned back on his elbows, not looking at her anymore. ‟I offered to teach you stuff. I wouldn't throw that kind of amazing deal at just anyone."
‟You are so full of yourself."
He smirked, flashing the tip a fang. ‟I know."
‟I think we'll have to approach this on two fronts. First, you're going to have to try to stop being so mindless. Zombie Kagome is not a good look. Second, once you've got your mind back in order, you've gotta want to fight back, so in case someone like Mister Bitey strikes again, you can give him a good zap and send him running home to Mama. No one should be getting into your pants without your express permission."
She nodded slowly. This made perfect sense while she was sitting here being normal, but how the heck would she learn how to say no if it felt so nice?
His eyes narrowed as he pointed a clawed fingertip at her nose. ‟Stop. Mind out of gutter. This is not the time to be thinking dirty thoughts."
She turned pink. Of course he could probably smell the shift in her attention.
‟I can help you with the first part, but we'll probably have to find someone else you can practice with for fighting back."
She shifted uncomfortably. ‟Is that the part where I'm supposed to ask Kurama to help?" She tucked her face in her hands, wondering why the heck this issue had become such an issue. What did it matter if she went a little kiss-crazy when a kitsune got through her defenses? She swallowed nervously, remembering just how far she'd been willing to go in the heat of the moment. With a stranger.
Shippo poked her with his elbow. ‟Earth to Kagome?"
‟What?" She'd missed whatever he'd said.
He leaned against her, dropping his head on her shoulder with a lofty sigh. ‟Jeez, this new weakness of yours has corrupted your brain into something scary. Do you wanna just go knock one out so you can stop thinking about the maybes?"
She turned to stared at him, his face inches from hers, her mouth falling open as she briefly considered it. His eyebrows wagged as he smooched the air between them and grinned. Her mouth snapped shut. ‟I don't ever know when I should take you seriously!" she complained.
‟It's part of my charm," he replied easily. ‟Anyways, I said Kurama is probably a good option to practice fighting back so he learns why he should stop chasing your skirt."
She frowned. ‟I don't think I want to hurt him like that, though. Purification magic is really painful. I thought you said it doesn't hurt you the same way? Why couldn't I practice on you?"
‟Makes me crazy," he reminded her with a shrug.
‟Crazy how? Crazy like me trying to molest you uninvited?"
He pressed his lips together and looked away from her for a moment. "It's… hard to explain. You know how the magic—that curse—changed you, and then I was suddenly able to grow up?"
She nodded, thinking back to how many times he'd grow out of a new set of clothes seemingly overnight. He had been a little kit that had rapidly aged to become a teen of her height within days.
"Well, I couldn't figure out what had really happened for all these years, until I was here, while you were little."
Kagome shrugged. "And?"
"And maybe using my magic on you was why things went like they did when you got cursed." He chuckled, sounding a little nervous. "I've been around your magic in various states of potency for a good chunk of my literally formative period. I grew and took from you, and when you were little, I gave something back. Your magic has been weird from day one, because I met you in the present before you met me in the past. Sess has been dogging me about meddling and messing up time, but I'm really serious when I say that whatever crazy happens is probably the way it was meant to be all along, and if it wasn't, then time finds a way to make it right."
Kagome stared at him. "Are you sure I didn't accidentally fry your brains when one of us was little?"
He laughed. "I doubt it. Anyways, you couldn't kill me even if you tried," he taunted, poking her in the side.
She peered down at her nails, a thoughtful look on her face. "I'm glad you're one of the good guys, then, because I'd hate to have to find a more creative way to do you in."
He snickered and threw an arm around her neck to rub his knuckles against her head as she squealed in irritation. "Good luck, little girl."
He hoped she hadn't noticed his careful evasion of her question, but she definitely had. They'd have to revisit why later on before they called in someone else for her to be smacking with her magic.
They didn't speak of it again that night. She dropped a fresh seal into place as she put on her pajamas, promising herself she'd show him the broken time thing soon.
The next day was of the mostly usual variety: normal practicing, normal family interactions, normal meals, followed by a less-than-normal evening after everyone headed off for their pre-bedtime routines.
He touched the wall by her door as it shut quietly behind him, dropping a sound-proof barrier in place. Aiko had made clear that the walls were paper-thin and he knew that if she heard even part of what he was about to suggest, she would happily murder him.
"So, if we aren't going to have someone here to make sure you don't do something while you're out of it," he hesitated, looking at her sideways. "I've come up with a possible solution to keep you from jumping out of a window if I choose to escape from your wandering hands."
She laughed with a blush. ‟You make me sound like I turn into Miroku."
‟Worse. Much worse."
‟Okay, what's your idea?"
He withdrew a pale length of shining rope from a pocket. ‟I can tie you to something heavy so you won't be able to go anywhere."
She considered it. "That might work…" She wasn't really looking forward to working through this strange behavior, but she absolutely couldn't fathom what might happen if she tried to ignore the problem and it happened again when she least expected it. She would try her best to build a tolerance and figure out a way to retain her awareness so she could eventually fight back.
Shippo giggled as he slid the rope around her torso, securing her to her bedpost so she couldn't come after him. "Never thought we'd be trying out bondage this early."
Kagome blushed and choked back a laugh. "Never thought I'd be trying that out ever."
"Okay, you should be all set."
She strained forward and nodded her head.
"The ties are out of reach, so I think we can leave your hands and feet free." He nodded, satisfied with his handiwork. "I should be safe enough from your insanity," he laughed. "Ready to try again?"
She took a deep breath and nodded.
He reached out for her ankle with his fingertips, and—
She blinked as her vision returned and the sound came rushing back to banish the bleak silence. She recognized a sharp ache around her ribs and burning pain in her fingers as though she'd struggled hard against the ropes.
Shippo crouched at the opposite end of the room, staring at her with wide eyes. "Kami, I didn't think it was possible, but you seem to have gotten worse."
She blinked at him in confusion. "Worse how?" What the heck could she have possibly done?
He shook his head, as though repeating what he'd just witnessed was something he never planned on doing. "Whatever the cause is, this is bad. Focus on your power before I try again. Focus on regaining control before you've lost it."
She nodded, licking her dry lips. He swallowed nervously, stretching out to reach for her foot as though he were afraid to get much closer. "Let me know when you're ready?"
He was right. Using her magic to guard her mind helped her stay aware of what she was experiencing, but knowing what was wrong with her didn't make it any less awful. It didn't help dull the intensity of the sudden urge she had to grab hold of him and do things. It must have been torture to see her reaching for him, to hear the gasps and moans slipping from her throat. In some dark corner of her mind she was enthralled by the look of desperation on his face as she writhed against the ropes in a futile attempt to break free. She caught his gaze flicking to the window more than once as she whined for him to untie her.
Everything ached. It was frightening the intensity of these ridiculous reactions. Her eyes filled with tears. He was right over there and didn't want to help make it go away. Didn't want to let her loose so she could take what she needed.
He watched the tears drip down her face with a look of misery.
She was perfectly aware of what she was doing, yet she didn't give a damn. She didn't care that she was hurting herself to try and break free from the knots he'd tied. She didn't care that she was straining her shoulder in an attempt to reach the fastenings. She didn't care that she left carpet burns on her ankles and wrists as she jerked and twisted. All that mattered was the end goal of reaching the thing she wanted.
She could hear nothing but the blood roaring through her ears. Her eyes locked on his lips as they moved and she began to realize he was reminding her to fight back.
She flared her magic, imagining she was burning through a possession of an entirely different sort, and she felt the sensation fade in increments.
She gasped and took a deep breath, nodding her head in relief as the pulsing ache in her body faded into a subtle thrum, then vanished.
She sniffled and wiped the wetness from her face, embarrassed with how she'd behaved. "We might need to take a break," she suggested in a low voice. "Try again tomorrow night."
There was an awkward silence as they looked at everything in the room except each other.
"Meditation?" He suggested after a few minutes, daring a peek in her direction.
She met his eyes and her lips curled in growing amusement. "Ropes?"
It was a little strange as he reached around her to untie the knots. His fingers were normally deft and unerringly precise with everything he did, but he fumbled with his grip on the rope twice as he tried to avoid touching her. She snapped her teeth quietly near his ear and he yanked his hands away so fast he nearly knocked her over. "Shippo!" She laughed. ‟I'm not going to bite you. What's wrong with you?"
He chuckled nervously. "Nothing, nothing. But I'm a little worried about what might be wrong with you. You're busted enough that you just might actually bite. What if whatever's wrong with you is contagious?" His eyes were wide as he openly teased her. ‟Like kissing rabies."
‟Does that mean no more nighttime cuddles?" she asked, rubbing a raw spot on her ankle with a frown.
He smirked and nudged her with his elbow. ‟If you can avoid further molestation attempts while we meditate, then sleeping will probably still be safe enough." He picked up her foot and gently turned it so he could examine the angry red marks. ‟Reach for me, hm? Let's see if these heal."
She did without thinking. Their hair poofed and she couldn't help the euphoric giggle that spilled from her lips at the tickling rush of magic. ‟Good as new," he announced, releasing her foot to pat his short hair back into place. Later on, she'd probably wonder why she didn't hesitate, because she didn't know yet how many things could trigger the magic madness.
Pajamas were donned along with a fresh seal. (She was now justly terrified that removing the seal to show him the time thing might end in disaster.)
Meditation was quiet and uneventful. The evening wore on with calm and peace.
Sleeping was quiet and uneventful. A gentle breeze ruffled her curtains as the wind rustled through trees on the shrine.
Waking was quiet and uneventful. Sunlight streamed through her window, lending a soft sparkle to the pale wooden surfaces of her furniture. Her fingers traced along the muscled arm draped across the blanket over her waist. ‟It's very quiet with Hiei gone," she whispered.
‟You'd think an anti-social guy like that would talk less," Shippo muttered.
‟The two of you manage to find something to argue about as soon as I've opened my eyes, you know?"
He snickered softly. ‟We're usually arguing before then. You just can't hear it," he admitted.
She sighed and stretched in bed, rolling over to peek at him in the early morning light. His face was mostly buried in his pillow, with only the tiniest sliver of green visible as he watched her. ‟Another night. No nightmares," he observed.
‟You know," she began, ‟If you like him, you should just tell him so."
‟You know," he rejoined, ‟If you like him, you should…"
She laughed and cut him off by poking him in the side.
‟I'm sorry," she began, rolling over to face him more fully. He lifted his arm for her to curl closer, then dropped the comforting weight back over her waist.
‟What for?" he mumbled, the tiny sliver of his eye closing as he rubbed his face in the pillow.
‟I've been selfish," she replied, tucking her forehead against the ridiculously soft material of the t-shirt he often slept in. ‟You've been my shield every night, and I didn't think that maybe you'd like some shielding of your own."
He made a little sound of dismissal and shrugged. ‟I don't need it. I'm a big boy," his muffled voice crept through his pillow.
‟Mmhm," she replied. She pulled her arm free from her blankets and slid it under the weight of his, her fingers curling against the warmth of his back.
‟That's different," he said with a little sigh.
Shippo got quieter as the day wore on and evening approached. It was so out of character that Souta asked him if he was feeling sick and Aiko tried plying him with more chamomile tea, a concerned look on her face. ‟I'm fine," he tried waving them off. ‟Just magical problems on my brain."
Kagome felt immensely guilty. It was because of her that he was so uncomfortable and worried.
They meditated quietly in the middle of the living room, combining their magic to boost the barrier and reach throughout the neighborhood, ensuring safety of the residents and banishing any negative energies they encountered. It was a pleasant and calming way to spend time together, and Kagome's mother watched them work with a soft smile.
When they emerged from their session, Aiko had left the room to wash dishes. Shippo eyed the dark stairwell and swallowed nervously. Kagome leaned forward with a quiet whisper. ‟We don't have to practice alone anymore. We can ask Hiei for help when he gets back, or we can…I don't know…take a break from it for a few days. It'll be okay."
He shook his head. ‟I don't think it's safe to just let it go for another time. You've gotta figure it out before something happens." He glanced at her with a rueful grin. ‟The only one you're hurting is yourself."
Kagome watched as he stood and shook his hands to loosen his wrists. Somehow, his statement felt like a total lie.
He joked as she sat back against her bedpost, but his words rang a little hollow. She made sure to not tease him as he tied the knots out of reach. She hoped she would remember this time that she couldn't reach the damned things and should not strain so hard for something she had no hope of untying.
‟Just… don't watch this time," she suggested, already feeling miserable for what was about to happen. He nodded resolutely and waited for her to indicate she was ready to give it a try.
‟Remember, focus. Fight back for your control," he reminded her.
She nodded and firmed her resolve. She'd overcome this madness. She had to.
His magic swept through her and she shivered in response. She wondered how good it would feel if he did it again. More, she said.
Confused, he reached out and swiped his finger along her ankle with another dose of his magic, perhaps thinking that she had already figured out a way to overcome her loss of control.
Again, she said, shuddering in pleasure when he did as she asked. He realized in that moment that she'd not regained her control, and he'd just triple-dosed her with the magic that made her crazy.
She remembered the knots were out of reach, but he responded to her requests well enough, so she requested and demanded and told him the things she felt, the things he should do, how he should untie her, or even better, leave her tied…
Later, she'd be incredibly thankful that he'd had the foresight to use another sound-proof tweak on the barrier around her room, because if her family had heard even the smallest portion of the complaints and demands that fell from her lips, Shippo would have been banned for life and she might have been sent to live in a convent.
They only made the one attempt that night.
She excused herself for a long shower to collect her thoughts and try to forget the things she'd said to him in her awful moments of absolute desperation.
Shippo didn't often blush, but his face had been scarlet red within moments of starting. He'd done his best to ignore everything she'd said, and stayed focused on getting her to use her magic to burn away the foreign influence on her mind. When she returned to her room in pajamas and a new seal, he was sprawled over her comforter with his little book resting open in the center of his chest. He glanced at her with a half-smile, but he looked as exhausted as she felt.
‟This is stupid. This is really stupid," she muttered, sitting at her desk. ‟I feel like this is worse for you than it is for me."
‟Nah," he said. ‟It's kinda like watching a porno that doesn't ever get to the good parts," he joked. ‟The plumber ends up finding the lady's missing purse so she can pay her bill with cash instead of working something out with sex."
The heavy mood lifted and Kagome laughed despite her guilt. ‟Is that what it looks like from your end?"
He hummed and rolled onto his side, his book falling to the blanket. ‟Starts like that. Kinda maddening to see you so damned turned on and outta your mind." He shook his head with a laugh and rolled onto his stomach, peeking at her from his pillow. ‟Never in my life has a female had to beg me for anything," he muttered.
‟I see," she said with a chuckle. ‟Not even that bear?"
He growled and tossed a pillow at her. ‟She didn't beg long," he replied.
Kagome bit her lip with a bright blush, and Shippo buried his face in his pillow, his red hair a wild spray of color against the white of her sheets.
‟Hey," she said quietly. ‟Why are you so upset about all of this?"
He shrugged, nonchalant, still hiding his face. ‟Don't worry about it." His voice was a muffled sound and barely understandable. ‟Just a terrible case of depravity."
‟Did you mean to say deprivation?"
He peeked at her with a smirk. ‟Same difference."
The next night, Shippo trudged up the stairs like he was en route to a firing squad. They were going to try gagging her so she couldn't talk. Despite his easy joking, she felt like she was torturing her best friend. She didn't want to put him through this anymore. She wanted them to take a night off.
‟Surely Hiei will be back by tomorrow," she reasoned.
Shippo shrugged, looking a little pale. ‟What good will having him back be? So two of us can sit and watch you suffer? It's no big deal, and the trouble doesn't last all that long, anyways."
The trouble doesn't last all that long.
She burned.
She was burning.
There was no other description for the ripping ache pulsing through her. She had to have something, she needed it. She glared across the room as he hid his face in his hands, unable to even look at her as she fought against the fire within her. Her words were muffled and she couldn't talk sense into him. Her arms were bound to her sides so she couldn't rip the gag out of her mouth. She clenched her fingers, staring hard at the shine of his red hair, willing him to look at her so she could just make him understand, but he wouldn't look. He wouldn't look. She screamed, enraged, demanding he acknowledge her, and she chuckled cruelly as he flinched.
What was wrong with her?
She called on her magic to help her, but instead of flooding her body with it, she turned it against him. He didn't want to play with her. He wanted to hide in the corner, avoiding her eyes. She could feel the bright center of him, the place within his chest where he held the remnants of her magic so close to his heart. Her magic sang across invisible lines between them, and the brightness within him pulsed and jumped with the sudden flare of her magic. He gasped and fell forward on hands and knees, and then she did it again. If this was the only way she could get him to stop ignoring her, she'd flash him with her magic all damned—
He growled, slowly tilting his head up to look her in the eyes.
The burning ache thrilled through her at the expression on his face. He was done ignoring her. He crawled toward her on the tips of his fingers, his tongue running across his lip and touching on a single fang as he reached out for one of her ankles, his magic unfurled around him and creeping into her like the most addicting drug. She shuddered and moaned around the gag as it zipped up her leg and set her nerves on fire. She wanted to rub herself all over this feeling and soak it in, feel it fill her and banish the burn. It would all be better once she had more.
She cried in desperate rage as his vision quickly cleared and he looked up at her, horrified at what she'd done. Ropes, gags, nothing would save her from herself if she could still do that while being restrained.
His face was twisted in pain as he cupped her jaw, searching her eyes for a moment as she strained toward him. He leaned close and she shuddered in anticipation, her eyes sliding shut as she reveled in the sensation of him touching her. He traced the tip of his nose across her tear-stained cheek, then whispered in her ear the reason why the practice sessions had bothered him so much. "It's agony knowing that the only reason you'll play is if the magic makes you forget yourself."
He vanished from her sight and senses. She searched frantically for his light to call him back to her, but he'd already gone too far. She sobbed in desperation as she tried to pull free from her bindings to chase after him, but she knew they wouldn't budge without his help.
She definitely wouldn't be jumping from the windowsill on this night.
AN: Spellcheck complained that 'chaperone' was spelled wrong. I fell down a stupid rabbit hole of accepted spellings before I did a poll to see if it was just me needing the 'e' or what. Survey says: add the 'e'
Also, much angst over victimizing poor Shippo here.
(muffled snickering) guess who comes back next chapter? ;D
