I felt like I was trapped in one of those terrifying nightmares, one where the outcome was so horribly unthinkable, so absolutely dreaded, that it was incomprehensible. But of course, this hadn't been a dream, and I hadn't been running for my life; I'd been racing to save something infinitely more precious.
Archie had seen there was a good chance things would turn out this way.
I'd had a vision of my own, however—not like Archie, not a true prophecy. It was just a probable scenario. This vision created an intense kind of ache throughout my entire body; it was half agony and half pleasure.
I envisioned Beau twenty years from now, maturing gracefully into middle age. Like his mother, he would hold on to the image of youth longer than most, but when the lines came, they would not mar his beauty. I imagined him somewhere sunny in an elegant yet simple house that was, unless he changed his ways significantly, filled with clutter. Adding to the clutter would be children, two or three. Maybe one girl with Charlie's curly hair and smile, and a boy who took after his father.
I did not try to picture their mother, or think about how her face might be reflected in his children; that was all agony.
One day when they were young adolescents, younger than Beau was now, one of the children would ask Beau what high school was like, what graduating was like, and going to college—so on and so forth.
Beau would say how he wasn't really into school dances or prom. Large parties weren't his forte. And the children would be dissatisfied. Their dad never had any good stories about his teenage years. Hadn't he ever done anything interesting?
Beau would have no funny, lighthearted stories, just a dearth of normal experience, just secrecy and danger and tales so fantastical he might one day wonder whether they had ever been more than his imagination.
Or... Beau could laugh when his child asked, and his eyes would suddenly seem far away.
He would have gone on to a four-year college, where he obtained his degree in education and met mother of his children. He would have lived the American dream. They would have lived happily ever after...
A perfectly normal story—the one we've all heard before.
But this was not that story...
We were a hundred feet up in the branches of a tall hemlock, the thick bough swaying under us in the wind. Beau had his arm around me, and I held his other hand in both of mine. I watched his expression carefully, worried.
We hadn't been able to watch his funeral. The service had taken place inside of a church building. This would have to be enough.
"Are you sure this was a good idea?" I asked.
"I should be here."
"Tell me if it gets to be too much."
He nodded.
The caravan of cars drove up Calawah Way now, headlights on. I made sure that we were upwind, carefully situated so that we were at no risk of any trace of human scent drifting our direction.
It was too far for me to hear much of what anyone was thinking, but I was glad for that; I didn't want to know.
The hearse led the line. Charlie's cruiser was next—Beau's mother was in the passenger seat, Phil in the back. The students of Forks High School and few friends of the family made up the rest of the attendees.
The Hearse carried the stranger Archie and Eleanor had disinterred to fake the car accident—or at least what was left of him. He would be buried in Forks Cemetery next to Charlie's parents. I hoped they didn't mind.
Both his parents were pallbearers. Charlie was... zombie-like, to say the least. Renée was trembling, hardly able to walk on her own had she not had the casket to hold onto.
Phil stood behind them, followed by Allen and his father, and Jeremy. Bonnie Black held on to one of the brass handles while Jules pushed her wheelchair.
Most of Beau's friends from school were in attendance. Many of them were crying, and in a strange way it kind of unnerved me. I hadn't known so many of them had cared for Beau so much.
The story circulating through the school was wrong on all counts. Beau's disastrous car accident was common knowledge, first spread by Charlie's deputies around the community. But Charlie had been more taciturn about why Beau had suddenly run off to Phoenix in the night. So Jeremy Stanley had filled in the gaps—Beau and I had broken up, and he was so upset that he had to run home to his mother. Jeremy insinuated this was because our relationship was becoming very serious. Everyone accepted his version; most had already forgotten where the tale had originated.
Standing out as usual amongst the group of mourners was the rest of my family—Carine, Earnest, Archie, Jessamine, Eleanor, and Royal. The latter's attendance genuinely surprised me. I'd not spoken to Royal since the night he'd refused to help save Beau'slife. Now he was living up to his reputation for supernatural stubbornness. Hewas never openly hostile toward Beau during the raretimes they were in the same room together, unless aggressively ignoringsomeone's existence equaled hostility. But there he stood with them now, unnaturally still and obviously different.
Everything seemed to drag on for an eternity. Lowering the basket, Reverend Weber's sermon, Beau's parents tossing flowers into the hole after the casket, the line that formed afterwards for everyone to express their sincere condolences to Charlie and Renée.
Beau's mother was so distraught I thought she might faint. Phil had to hold on to her. In fact, Archie saw that she would collapse, and when they eventually made it to the front he brought a chair for her to sit down. I heard Phil thanking him.
Charlie stood tall, but he suddenly looked lifeless. Carine spent more time with him than anyone else did—she fielded all of those difficult conversations for us. I knew this wasn't the first time she had apologized; she had called Charlie within days of the reported accident and expressed how she felt responsible when Beau left. She could have done more, she told him, when Beau wanted to leave so hastily.
And now Carine apologized for my absence. The story was that I'd been too distraught to come, an explanation that wasn't entirely untrue. Even knowing that Beau wasn't really dead, the ceremony still seemed to carry the same weight. A human life had ended. He was dead to them.
I had killed him.
But this excuse was also another part of our contingency plans for the next year, where I would continue to be so devastated that my parents would decide to homeschool me.
Bonnie and Julie Black left while Carine was still speaking with Charlie. Eleanor was looking at us now, and she tried very hard not to smile; Eleanor never could take anything seriously.
Bonnie noticed Eleanor's expression and turned to look in our direction, thought I knew she couldn't see us. I could just make out what she said to her daughter as they continued out to their car.
"... and that tall one knows something."
My family were among the last to leave. Phil took Beau's mother away immediately. Charlie stayed alone while funeral home employees filled the hole. He didn't look—he just stared blankly into the distance.
Beau was watching him intently, and I didn't need to read his mind to know what he was ruminating over now. His last words to his father were his biggest regret. I was certain Charlie took much of the blame upon himself.
I heard the air hitch out of Beau's throat and he leaned into me, burying his face in my hair. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist.
"I'm so sorry, Beau. I never wanted this for you."
I felt him nod once.
Charlie stayed sitting in the same chair Archie had pulled for Renée for a long time. When he finally drove away, I nudged Beau.
"Do you want to go home?" I asked.
"Maybe in a little while."
"All right."
Like his father, he stared out at the empty cemetery. Some workers were picking things up as the night loomed.
"You never wanted this for me," he said quietly. "What did you want? How did you see things happening—going with the fact that I was always going to be in love with you?"
I sighed. I knew the most likely version, the one where Archie had seen Beau depressed and empty. I didn't know exactly how long it would have taken, but I knew I was committed to staying until I recognized the sign when it came that it was time to extricate myself from his life entirely.
I avoided that particular conversation, and gave the unlikely, idealistic version. "Best-case scenario? I hoped that... I would get strong enough that we could be together while you were human. that we could be... something more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. Someday, if you didn't outgrow me, more than just husband and wife. We wouldn't be able to grow old together, but I would have stayed with you while you grew old. I would have been with you through all the years of your life."
Part of me wondered if I really would have forced this version. Wouldn't that mean have meant the least pain for him? It would have been so easy to fall into that version. But I knew as long as he had been with me, he wasn't safe. It was too dangerous to keep him wrapped up in my world.
I went on. "And then, when your life was over... I wouldn't have wanted to stay without you. I would have found a way to follow."
This part was true, at least. I'd already considered that when I thought I was going to lose him.
I was taken by surprise when Beau laughed. "That was a really, really horrible idea," he said. "Can you imagine? When people thought I was your dad? Your granddad? I'd probably get locked up."
"That wouldn't have bothered me. And if anyone had locked you up, I would have busted you out."
"But you would have married me? Really?"
Why did he not seem to expect that to be true? And why did he phrase it in the past tense, as if it still weren't just as true?
"I still will. Archie's seen it."
He blinked. "Wow. I'm... super flattered. You would really marry me, Edythe?"
I gave hime a well, yeah, who else? kind of look. "Is that a proposal?"
"Sure. Sure it is. Will you?"
I threw my arms around him. "Of course I will. Whenever you want."
"Wow..." He squeezed me even harder and kissed the top of my head. "I think I could have done better with the other version, though."
I looked at him and my face fell. "Any other way ended here, too."
"But there could have been... a better goodbye. What if we had gotten married? You know, graduated together, put in a few years at college, then had a great big wedding where we invited everyone we knew? Let them all see us happy together. Give really sappy speeches—have a reason to tell everyone how much we love them. Then go away again, back to school somewhere far away..."
I sighed. "That sounds nice. But you end up with a double funeral in the end."
"Maybe. Maybe we'd be really busy for a year, and when I'm a mature vampire and all under control, I could see them again..."
"Riiiight..." I rolled my eyes. "And then all we have to worry about is never aging... and getting on the bad side of the Volturi... I'm sure that would end well."
"Okay, okay, you're right. There's no other version."
"I'm sorry," I said for the millionth time.
"Either way, though, Edythe. If i hadn't been dumb enough to run off and meet that tracker"—I snarled at him, but he went on anyway—"it would only have delayed things. We still end up here. You're the life I choose."
I found it suddenly easy to smile. He was so eager, so impatient to trade anything to be with me. It was impossible not to be moved by such a love.
"It feels like my life never had a point until I found you. You're the life I was waiting for."
He took my face in his hands and kissed me, and I could have stayed here forever in this moment.
The phone in my pocket vibrated.
I took it out, and Carine's number flashed across the display. I held it to my ear. "Carine?"
Carine's voice was serious on the other end. "Edythe, the Quileutes, they're here. They've... taken their other form again. I'm not sure what they want, but I'm sure they must believe we're responsible for what happened to Beau. How soon can you be here?"
I leapt off the branch, phone still in hand. "I'm coming."
I hung up the phone. As soon as I hit the forest floor, I was running. I could hear Beau's footfalls behind me as he caught up.
"Be careful. We have visitors," I warned as we approached the house.
I could hear the animals snarling before we were at the river. I leapt low over the water and hurled up the lawn. Earnest had the metal shutters down over the glass wall.
I darted over the railing onto the porch. Everyone was huddled there in a tight, defensive cluster. Carine stood out ahead of them. I lunged to her side immediately, and one of the beasts growled from the darkness.
I heard Beau's feet hit the porch behind me.
No, you don't. Eleanor grabbed him by the arm to stop him. "Let her translate."
There were three of them, wolves that were three times as large as any normal wolf. Descendants of Ephrath, no doubt. Our presence in such close proximity to their lands the last two years must have resurrected the ancient magic in their bloodline.
All three of them immediately stopped growling and turned their attention to the porch when Beau appeared.
Isn't that the Swan kid? one thought.
Beau?
They turned him! I knew it.
The pitch-black leader, Samantha Uley, stepped forward and bared her teeth. You've broken your commitment. The treaty is now void.
"Sam," I cautioned. She turned to face me. "You have no right to be here. We haven't broken the treaty."
Leave, leech! the monster snarled. Your presence will no longer be allowed here.
"They didn't attack," Carine said. "I don't know what they want."
"They want us to leave. They were trying to drive you out."
"But why?"
"They thought we broke the treaty—that we killed Beau."
Sam growled again, long and low. He's as good as dead anyhow. Treaty's off.
"But—," Carine started.
"Obviously," I answered. "They still think we broke the treaty—that we chose to change him ourselves."
Carine looked at the wolves. "I can promise you, that's not how this happened."
Sam's growl grew louder. Saliva dripped from her exposed fangs. Lies!
"Beau, can you tell them? They aren't going to believe us."
Beau ran forward to stand next to me. His expression was incredulous. "I don't understand," he whispered. "What are they? What treaty are you talking about?"
"Beau, these are the Quileute wolves. You remember the story?"
"The—" He stared at the trio. "They're werewolves?"
Sam growled louder.
"Not exactly. A long time ago, we made a treaty with another pack leader. They think we've violated it. Can you tell them how you were transformed?"
"Uh, okay..." Beau looked at Sam. "I'm, uh, Beau Swan—"
"She knows who you are. You met Sam once—at the beach in La Push."
"Oh..." His eyes grew wider.
"Just explain to her what happened."
"Right... Uh, a few weeks ago, there was a tracker—er, a vampire tracker—who camethrough here. She liked the way I smelled. The Cullens told her to back off. She left, butEdythe knew she was planning to try to kill me. I went back to Phoenix to hide out tillthe Cullens could... well, take care of her, you know. But the tracker figured out where Iwas and caught up to me. It was a game to her, a game with the Cullens—I was just apawn. But she didn't want to just kill me. She... I guess you could say she was playingwith her food. The Cullens found me before she could kill me, but she'd already bittenme. Hey—do we still have the video?"
He glanced over at me, and I shook my head.
"That's too bad. The tracker wasfilming the whole thing. I could have shown you exactly what happened."
The wolves looked at each other.
A stranger did this?
Can we believe anything they say?
Maybe we should talk to Bonnie.
Sam turned her attention to me. We should discuss this further with our chief elder before we can make a decision.
"That's acceptable. Where?"
Meet us on neutral turf—there is a logging zone due north of the Kloshe Nanitch trailhead. Bring no more than three of your kind, or we will assume you plan to attack, Sam directed. Then she huffed, and they turned and ran into the forest.
Everyone converged then.
"What happened?" Carine asked.
"They aren't sure what to do. They were asked to clear us out. Sam is the actual chief of the tribe, but only in secret. She's not a direct descendant of the chief we made a treaty with. They want us to talk to the acting chief, the true great-granddaughter of the last wolf-chief."
Beau gasped. "But—wouldn't that be Bonnie?"
"Yes. They want to meet at a neutral location so that Bonnie can see you and make the call."
"See me? But I can't get that close..."
It wasn't my favorite idea, either, but Beau had taken to the newborn craze extremely well, all things considered. This would probably be easy, just like everything else.
"You can do it, Beau. You're the most rational newborn I've ever seen."
"It's true," Carine agreed. "I've never seen someone adapt so easily. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a decade old."
Beau didn't look so sure of himself. "But it's Bonnie. She's my dad's best friend. What if I hurt her?"
"We'll be there," Eleanor told him. "We won't let you do anything stupid."
"Actually..." I started.
Eleanor was excited by the prospect of a confrontation. Don't try to keep me out of this. I'm going.
"They asked that we bring no more than their pack—only three. I already agreed. Beau has to be one, I have to be one, and the other needs to be Carine."
"Is that safe?" Earnest asked.
I shrugged. "It's not an ambush."
"Or they hadn't decided to make it one. Not yet," Jessamine said.
Beau was looking at Archie. "Archie?"
Archie's eyes were far away. "I didn't see them," he whispered. "I didn't know they were coming. I can't see now—I can't see this meeting. It's like it doesn't exist."
I had already gathered this much. It wasn't often that we were taken by surprise.
"What does that mean?" Beau asked.
"We don't know. And we don't have time to figure it out now. We want to be there when they arrive. We don't want them to have a chance to change their minds."
"It will be fine," Carine told them. "The wolves are just trying to protect the people here. They're heroes, not villains."
"They think we're villains," Royal commented. "Heroes or not, Carine, we still have to accept that they're our enemies."
"It doesn't have to be that way," Carine whispered.
"And it doesn't matter either way tonight. Tonight Beau needs to explain to Bonnie so that we don't have to make the choice between leaving Forks and raising suspicions, or getting into a fight with three barely legal wolves who are just trying to protect their tribe."
"Archie can't see if you'll be in danger," Jessamine argued.
We can hide nearby, just in case.
"We'll be fine. Bonnie won't want to hurt Beau."
"I'm not sure that's true now. And I know she won't have any problem watching you get hurt."
"I can hear the wolves just fine. They won't take us by surprise."
"Tell us where to go," Eleanor said. "We'll keep our distance and only come in if you call."
"I promised. There's no reason to go back on my word. We need them to see that they can trust us, now more than ever."
Let's talk about this some more, expore our options. We can't risk it when Archie can't even—
"No! We don't have time. We'll be back soon. Beau, Carine, let's go."
I took off into the night, and Beau and Carine easily kept up.
"You seem very confident."
I assumed Carine only spoke aloud for Beau's sake.
"I got a good look at their minds. They don't want this fight, either. There are eight of us. They know they won't win if it comes to actual bloodshed."
"It can't. I won't hurt them."
"I'm not in disagreement with that. But it would cause problems, if we left now."
"I know."
We headed northeast. We crossed the one-oh-one and continued due north, following a small road. I stopped when I saw the wasteland created by the loggers.
"Edythe, I don't think I can do this."
I took his hand. "We're upwind. Carine and I will try to stop you if something happens. Just remember not to fight us."
"What if I can't control it? What if I hurt you?"
"Don't panic, Beau, I know you can do this. Hold your breath. Run away if it gets bad."
"But Edythe—"
I put my finger to my lips and angled myself to the direction of the incoming car carrying Bonnie Black. I could hear their thoughts as they approached.
The car parked, and two of the wolves came in from the trees on either side. Paula, the missing wolf, got out of the driver's side and walked around to get Bonnie.
She lifted Bonnie in her arms and carried the wold woman toward us. Sam and Jara walked in front of them, and they stopped a hundred feet away from where we stood.
"I can't see as well as you," Bonnie told them.
They moved a few yards forward.
"Hello, Bonnie," Carine greeted.
"I can't see, Paula," Bonnie complained.
They walked forward again until Bonnie was finally able to make us out in the darkness.
I could hear Beau had stopped breathing. The wind blew from behind us.
"Carine Cullen," Bonnie said in a flat, unamused tone. "I should have put it together sooner. It wasn't till I saw you at the funeral that I realized what had happened."
"But you were wrong," I said.
"That's what Sam says... I'm not sure she's right."
Bonnie's eyes flickered to Beau, and she shuddered. Ugh, what a shame this is. Better he really were dead than this.
"All we have is Beau's word and our own. Will you believe either?"
Bonnie harrumphed. As if I could believe anything one of them says.
"Please," Carine pleaded in her kind, compassionate voice she used when working with patients. "We've never hurt anyone here. We won't start now. It would be better for us not to leave immediately, otherwise we would go without an argument."
"You don't want to look guilty."
"No, we would rather not. And in truth, we are not in breach."
Bonnie looked at Beau again. "Then where is Beau? Do you expect me to believe he's inside that thing that bears some slight resemblance to him?"
Poor boy. I wonder if he knew all along.
"Bonnie, it's me," Beau said.
Bonnie winced as if she had heard nails on a chalkboard.
Beau gripped my hand and took a shallow breath. We were still upwind, so I wasn't too worried.
"I know I look and sound a little different, but I'm still me, Bonnie."
"So you say."
He raised his other hand. "I don't know how to convince you. What I told Sam was true—another vampire bit me. She would have killed me, too, except that the Cullens got there in time. They didn't do anything wrong. They were always trying to protect me."
"If they hadn't gotten involved with you, this never would have happened! Charlie's life wouldn't be broken in pieces—you'd still be the boy I knew."
I flinched at her words, which were nothing but the truth that I knew all too well.
"Bonnie, there's something you didn't know about me... I used to smell really good to vampires."
Bonnie shuddered.
"If the Cullens hadn't been here, those other vampires would have still come to Forks. They might have killed more than me while they were here, but I can promise you, if Charlie had survived, he would be missing me just the same. And there would be nothing left of the boy you used to know. You might not be able to see it, but I'm still here, Bonnie."
Bonnie shook her head. "I'll concede that the treaty is intact. Will you tell me your plans?"
"We'll stay here another year. We'll leave after Edythe and Archie graduate. It will look natural that way."
Bonnie nodded. "All right. We'll wait. I apologize for our infraction tonight. I..." She sighed. "It was a mistake. I was... overwrought."
"We understand," Carine said. "There was no harm done. Maybe even some good. It's better to understand each other as much as possible. Perhaps we could even talk again some—"
"The treaty is unbroken," Bonnie interrupted. "Don't ask any more from us."
Carine nodded.
Bonnie looked at Beau once more and her face looked sad. Such a shame... so young.
Suddenly, the breeze shifted.
Carine's thoughts were in sync with mine. Grab him!
Carine and I grabbed him by the arms at the same time.
What's this?
Sam snarled.
"What are you doing to him?" Bonnie demanded.
"Protecting you."
Sam took another defensive step forward.
Beau inhaled fractionally, and I braced myself, tightening my hold around his arm.
"No, don't worry, Bonnie," Beau said quickly. "I'm new to this, and they don't want me to... lose it, you know? But I'm okay."
I slowly let go of his arm.
Carine was disbelief. He didn't even react at all!
Bonnie narrowed her eyes. Oddly in control of himself... I thought the legends said the newly turned creatures were ravenous.
"So it wounds like I won't have a chance to talk to you again," Beau continued. "And I'm sorry it's that way. I guess I don't understand all the rules yet. But since you're here, if I could ask just one favor."
Bonnie's tone was caustic. "What?"
"My dad..." Beau hesitated. I put my hand on his back. "Please, just... take care of him? Don't let him be alone too much. I never wanted to do this to him... or my mom. That's the hardest part of all this. For me, it's fine. I'm good. If only there was anything I could do to make it better for them, I would, but I can't. Could you please watch out for him?"
I hadn't expected him to be so... like himself. Perhaps the change isn't as drastic as they say.
"I would have done that regardless," Bonnie answered.
"I know. I couldn't help asking, though. Do you think... you could let me know if there ever is something I can do? You know, from behind the scenes?"
Bonnie nodded reluctantly. "I suppose there may be some of Beau left after all."
Beau sighed.
"Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"If...," Beau started to say, but he hesitated. "Will you ever tell Jules about any of this? Or will it always be a secret?"
We're still waiting on that to happen...
"Jules will know soon enough."
"Oh. Okay. Well, if she can know about me, can you tell her that I'm happy? It's not so bad, this whole vampire thing."
"I'll tell her what you said."
"Thanks, Bonnie."
Bonnie nodded, then she looked at Paula and jerked her chin back towards the car.
As they left, I saw a tear running down Bonnie's cheek.
"Tell me everything," Beau said quickly.
I smiled. "I will when we get home—so I don't have to repeat all of it."
We started running back towards the house.
"Huh. Actual werewolves. This world is even weirder than I thought."
"Agreed."
"That's right—you thought there weren't werewolves here anymore. That must have been kind of a shock."
"They weren't the most shocking thing I saw tonight."
He looked at me quizzically, then to Carine. Carine smiled.
"I mean, I knew you were special, Beau, but that was something else back there. Jessamine's not going to believe it."
"Oh. But... You said you knew I could do this."
"Well, I was pretty sure the wind would hold steady."
Carine laughed. I'll leave you two alone for a moment.
She sped on ahead of us, and then we were alone.
I stopped running, and Beau slowed down to stay with me. I reached up to put my hands on either side of his face.
"It's been a long day. A hard one. But I want you to know that you're extraordinary, and I love you."
He pulled my tight against him. "I can handle anything as long as you're with me."
I wrapped my arms around his neck and stared into his eyes. "Then here I will stay."
"Forever," he said.
"Forever," I agreed.
This time I spoke of the real forever. Our eternal forever.
He leaned down then, and my lips found his.
The sky was balanced perfectly between evening and full night.
"Twilight again," I murmured against his lips, and I pulled back to look at his face. "Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end."
These days mattered so much, and ended so quickly.
He smiled down at me. "Some things don't have to end."
And he leaned down to press his lips once more to mine.
